by KB Winters
He let out a bitter laugh. “That’s still not helping, Madison.”
I shrugged. True, I thought, but no way I was going to let him take all the blame for her murder. “She’s dead, Cal. Nothing but a resurrection is going to help you feel better about that.”
“Vengeance. That’ll help.” Hate filled his gaze and every inch of his body, and I knew shit around here would get a lot worse before it got better.
“Shit, sometimes I wonder if I even loved her, or if I just loved that she was so broken that she loved me back.”
“No.” I shook my head and stood, bouncing Ava Rose as she started to fuss. “It’s not the time to think like that. It’s not productive, and it’s not what this little girl needs. She’s too young to even remember Bonnie, and you owe it to her to remember the good things about her and pass it on. Little girls need that.”
“You’re right,” he sighed and dropped onto the nearest sofa, which happened to be next to a pack of cigarettes.
“Of course, I am. And stop smoking in front of the baby if you want her to be healthy.”
I glared at Cal until he put the cigarette back into the pack and dropped it on the end table.
“Thank you, Madison. You’ve been a good friend to me.”
I shrugged off his kind words, uneasy with the compliment. “We’re friends, Cal. What else was I gonna do? Leave you to drown in your sorrow? I know what that’s like.”
He stood and smiled at me, coming closer to cast a loving look down at Ava Rose, fighting sleep like the badass Ashby she’d become one day.
“Still,” he said, stroking his daughter’s cheek and giving her a sad smile. “I appreciate it.”
“No problem,” I told him simply. “I’m sorry about Bonnie.” I offered him a friendly hug because I had no one to hug, no one to hold me and offer sympathy when I stopped hearing from Molly. I’d been completely on my own, and I remembered how bad it sucked.
“Thanks.” He leaned in and too late, I realized he wasn’t just going to return my hug. His lips pressed to mine and instantly I stepped back with a frown.
“No, Calvin. Don’t do that.” I aimed an accusing finger at him, doing my best to keep my voice even but firm to let him know that was not a good idea.
He frowned, confusion written all over his face. “What? I thought we were connecting… or something.”
“We are. As friends, but if you really mean what you just said about our friendship, then don’t ever try to use me as a fuck toy to get over your grief. If you try it again, I’ll rip your balls clean off. Got it?”
He nodded, still stunned, but his eyes were filled with worry and sadness. “Wow. I’m sorry, Madison.”
I held up a hand. “I know you’re grieving. That’s why I’ll give you this one for free.” I flashed a smile I didn’t feel, handed off Ava Rose and left before he got it in his head to try and change my mind.
I’d seen it happen in the trailer park a hundred times. Men treated women like parts in a factory, one was as good as the next. One wife or girlfriend would leave, and days later another would be in her place. Mom had done the same thing, never letting her bed go empty more than a night or two.
It was disgusting, how codependent people could be, and I vowed I’d never become like that. And Calvin’s behavior was a good reminder that I needed to maintain my life outside the Ashby family. I picked up my phone off the dresser in the blue room that had been my home for the past year and finally got around to texting Jameson.
Madison: Sorry I haven’t answered things here are a real shit show. How are you?
Jameson was my only true friend in the world right now. He didn’t want or need anything from me. He called just to make sure I was all right, and that made his friendship more valuable than any other at the moment.
My phone chimed with a response.
Jameson: I’m good now that I know you’re not dead on the side of the road. Dinner tonight?
I rolled my eyes at his tendency for drama.
Madison: Sure.
Jameson: Pick you up? Parking might suck.
Madison: Nope. I’ll Uber. Where am I going?
Jameson: Stubborn.
He’d replied immediately, and it made me laugh. We were back.
Madison: Independent.
He responded with an eyeroll emoji. Siren Casino Steakhouse. Eight. See you then.
I sent him a thumbs up and locked my door so I could take a quick shower. I needed a break from the sadness and anger and secrecy that filled this mansion for the past week. Most days, Calvin was inconsolable, leaving me to look after the baby until the sun went down, and I took to the phones full-time as a booker for the Ashby’s different escort services. The rest of the family spent most of their time whispering in corners, sending one another conspiratorial looks and, likely, plotting.
It was too much stress, especially since this wasn’t my family, and I was no closer to finding Molly than I was when I arrived in Glitz over a year ago.
Chapter Eight
Jameson
My ego might have got a huge boost when Madison strolled into the steakhouse in fitted jeans, high-heeled boots, and a soft sweater that drew the appreciative gaze of several men sitting at the bar.
Yeah, she’s with me losers, I wanted to boast, but instead I grinned at her and said, “Hey, stranger. I thought you might stand me up,” when the server led her to our booth.
She rolled her eyes. “Not my fault you chose the hottest casino in town. The driver had to wait in a line that backed up into traffic.”
Then she took a seat with a heavy sigh and sat back before flashing a smile at me. “Hey, Jamie. How are you?”
“Good. You?” I thought she looked a little nervous and sketchy, but I waited for her answer before venturing my opinion.
She shrugged. “Been better, I guess. Got a job and a steady paycheck, so I can’t complain, but I will because I don’t have the only thing I came here for. My sister.”
“No luck yet?” She was determined as hell to find her sister and even though she refused my help, I was desperate to find a way to track down Molly. Or her body.
“Nope,” she said, that one word telling the story of her anger and frustration that I’d read as soon as she walked into the restaurant.
“Now with the Bonnie-Mueller thing going on, no one gives a fuck about my sister. No one but me.” She shook her head and asked for a shot and a beer when the waitress stopped at our table. “I went to see her, you know. Savannah change-my-name-so-people-will-forget-the-fucked-up-shit-I’ve-done O’Connor.”
I did my best to hide the shock and fear I felt for her, but her laugh told me I did a shit job. Then I blurted out, “You did what?”
“I paid her a visit at her shiny new office building. I need answers and going straight to the source will give me the best chance of getting them.” She shrugged it off, like it was no big deal.
“Don’t let what happened to her fool you into thinking she’s harmless, Maddie. She doesn’t abuse women, but that doesn’t make her a good person.”
Maddie’s eyes rolled skyward. “I know that Jamie. And no offense, but your guys aren’t the good guys either, or they would’ve helped me find her when I asked.”
I couldn’t deny that, and I didn’t want to argue. “I know.”
“Besides, I don’t think Savannah is harmless. I don’t like her or trust her, but when she told me she didn’t know where Molly was, I believed her more than I believe Kat. Does that sound stupid?”
“No, but why would Kat lie if she found your sister?”
“I don’t know. I have no fucking clue, but she’s a shitty liar, and I know she’s lying. Either they found Molly and she’s dead, or she doesn’t want to be found. Even by me.”
Shit. I didn’t like to see Madison sad or defeated. It just wasn’t how the world was supposed to work. She was lively and bright, a constant smartass, and that was how I liked her. “Have you confronted Kat?”
She glar
ed at me. “Several times, but she’s towing the company line. She always says she hasn’t found anything concrete, but swears she’s still looking. She’s not.” On that note of finality, she downed her shot.
“And Savannah?”
She shivered slightly at the bite of the whiskey, then shook her head. “Said she put two men on the search. If she finds anything, she’ll let me know. I don’t know if I believe her.”
Madison shook her head as if the idea that she believed Savannah O’Connor was a character flaw.
“I’ll find Molly. I don’t know how or with what, but I will. I have to.”
There was one way I could help, at least for now. As soon as dinner was over, she skipped dessert. That was another sign Maddie wasn’t feeling herself, so I paid the tab and held my hand out. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To get some answers.”
At least I hoped we could get some, but by the time I pulled up to the Reckless Bastards clubhouse, I wasn’t so sure.
“This doesn’t seem like a good idea, Jameson. You’re a cop now.”
“So? He’s my fucking brother. You want answers, don’t you?”
Maddie nodded, but gave me a look that told me she wasn’t convinced of my strategy.
“This might be our best option,” I said, offering her my hand.
We stepped inside the clubhouse where the nonstop party was in full swing. I flashed a smile and a wave at the few Bastards and Bitches sober enough to recognize me as I pulled Madison toward the office where my brother spent most of his time.
Charlie looked up as soon as we filled the doorway, a wary smile on his face. “Jameson, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to ask a favor.”
“Yeah, and what might that be?” He ran his hand through his dark hair. He’d been drinking.
“Get Savannah to give up what she knows about Madison’s sister.” My words sounded more like a command than a favor, and I saw the moment Charlie went from being my brother to being the MC Prez.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, coming into my house and making demands like this?” He stood slowly, his gray eyes glassy, and I got it. He was definitely. drunk.
“You’re not part of this MC, Jameson. You have no fucking right to stroll up in here like Mr. Big Shit cop. And don’t think you can come in here and flash that badge and it’ll mean something. It doesn’t.”
“Charlie, I’m not making demands, man. You’re drunk.”
“Yeah, fuck you! Don’t ever pull this shit again, copper. You won’t like my response, I promise.”
“I’m just asking you to do what’s right, Charlie. The same way you’d expect me to do what’s right if the law comes sniffing around the MC.”
His gray eyes flashed at my words. “Yeah? You wanna go there little brother? Don’t forget that for as many of my secrets you think you know, I know yours, too. The hacks. The beatdowns. The shootings. All of it.”
“Gossip,” I shot back, but I wasn’t entirely sure that omitting that shit from my application wasn’t a lie.
“You wanna risk it all?”
I didn’t, but I also wasn’t ready to back down. I stood a little taller, using my height advantage to stare him down.
Madison jumped between us, one hand on each of our chests and pushed with all her might, which wasn’t much. She tuned me out and turned to Charlie.
“I just want to find my sister. I’m not after revenge or any of that shit, just Molly. Whatever Savannah knows, I promise to only use it to find Molly. I swear. Please.”
Charlie was unmoved. He was a wall of uncaring ice as he stared at her, silent and menacing. Utterly fucking silent. I wondered what had happened to him. Why was he so angry?
Maddie stepped around me. She barked, “Fine. Whatever,” and headed for the door. “Fuck you very much too!” With those parting words, she marched out of the clubhouse, and I found her fuming beside the car.
I walked up to her, stared up at the stars for an explanation. Then just spit out the truth. “Sorry. That didn’t go as well as I thought it would. I expected more from Charlie, and that was my mistake. Drunk fucker.”
“Not your fault.” Her lips lifted into a smile. “I didn’t expect him to help, but I can tell you really want to. Thank you, Jamie.”
Relief swept over me like a warm breeze on a spring night. “Yeah, you’re welcome, Madds. Feel like some ice cream?”
She smiled as her shoulders relaxed. “I could go for a frozen Bailey’s.”
“Let’s go.” I’d find another way to help her find her sister. I had to.
Chapter Nine
Madison
A knock sounded at my door, and I looked up to find Cal standing there with Ava Rose in his arms, a sheepish smile on his face. “You coming down for dinner?”
I nodded, feeling exhausted and out of sorts. “Yeah, I just need to finish up a few things, and then I’ll be down. You need help?”
He turned to Ava Rose’s sleeping form, her little fist tight around the fabric of his t-shirt and smiled. “Nah, I got her. Just checking in on you and making sure, you know, that we’re good.”
“We’re good, Cal. I promise.”
“All right, see you down there.” He gave a heavy sigh before walking away as if he didn’t want to go down for Sunday dinner any more than I did.
Ten minutes later, I entered the dining room where everyone else had already gathered. Everyone but Bonnie, that is, and her chair was conspicuously missing. Weird.
“Glad you could join us.” Sadie’s tone was even enough, but that knowing look she sent left me feeling even more unsettled.
“Sorry I’m late. There was a problem with gate entry for one of the girls’ appointments, and I figured that was more important.” I kept my tone even too, but however subtle, over time, the point had been made that this was a family dinner, and I wasn’t family, at least not by my definition of the word.
“Good thinking,” Jasper said, either because he believed it or to diffuse the budding tension as Sadie and I stared each other down. “Have a seat,” he added, “I’m hungry as fuck.”
I took my seat at the far end of the table beside Kat and Terry and across from Vanessa and Emmett. They had only recently started coming to Sunday dinner regularly, and I wondered if it was because Sadie felt guilty about Lance’s death. No, I decided. Sadie didn’t feel guilty about anything.
I kept my mouth shut while the dishes went around the table, taking a little bit of corned beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, and of course, sourdough bread. Sunday dinner at Ashby Manor was always a feast and the main reason I didn’t find something else to do on Sunday evenings.
Dinner with the Ashby family was a hell of a lot better than the lonely dinners I’d had in San Bernardino after Molly left for greener pastures. But lately, these meals made me realize that the more shit changed, the more it actually stayed the same. My bedroom was nicer, and my bank account had a higher balance than it used to, but nothing else had changed. Well, my location changed.
“Any word on who’s handling Bonnie’s investigation?” Frustration threaded through Cal’s voice, but it started a family conversation I didn’t really care about.
“Metro. Glitz doesn’t have the manpower or experience to handle it,” Jasper said, his gaze trained on Cal’s. I guessed he was looking for any hint of–hell I didn’t know what–only that he was studying his brother like he had him under a microscope. “But I’ve seen more than a few Feds crawling around Vegas this week.”
Since I didn’t care much about this part of the Ashby business, I pulled my phone out and texted Jameson.
Madison: How’s cop life? Busted any bad guys this week?
His reply came immediately, and I grinned.
Jameson: No bad guys, but a few public drunks and college kids fighting. Exciting, right?
I rolled my eyes and shoved a big hunk of corned beef in my mouth.
Madison: Sounds like yo
u’re living the dream. Did you at least get to slide across the hood of your patrol car yet?
Jameson: Sadly, no reason to do it yet.
Madison: Bummer, I shot back with a sad face emoji.
Jameson: Right?
Talking to Jamie, even through text, was exactly what I needed after another week of no progress in finding Molly, Cal’s attempt at a kiss, and all the tension building around this big ass house.
Madison: Maybe next week?
Jameson: Fingers crossed, he replied with half a dozen fingers crossed emojis.
“What’s going on with you?” Sadie’s sharp tone cut through my thoughts, and my smile faded as I looked up. Oops. Sadie was talking to me.
I blinked innocently, but I had no idea what she was talking about. “Nothing. Why?”
“You’re quiet and clearly that phone is more interesting than family dinner.”
“The dinner is delicious,” I assured her. “But the rest of this,” I motioned around the table to all the family members gathered and sighed, “isn’t really my business. Is it?”
She gave a short, displeased nod at my words. “I suppose not, but that doesn’t answer my question. What’s going on with you, Madison?”
“Nothing,” I sighed. “I’m just worried about my sister, Molly. I miss her, and so far, there’s been no trace of her anywhere and now, with Mueller gone, my chances of finding her are practically nil.”
I glared at Kat. She didn’t even bat an eyelash at the fact that I was losing my shit and she had answers that she refused to give to me. Big surprise. It pissed me off, of course, but one of the things I’d learned in my time with the Ashby family is to choose your battles.
“So that’s what’s up with me.”
Sadie nodded and slid a look to Kat that made me believe she also knew whatever secret they were all keeping from me. What I couldn’t figure out, was why. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe I held any value to them beyond being another of their worker bees, so what was the point of lying to me?
