by S. E. Smith
Suddenly, the old concerns mattered as nothing compared to fanning his hand over her silky cheek, tracing the line of her mouth. They were guaranteed only moments now, and Jacen couldn't think of a single reason why he should waste any more time. Don't get too familiar. Don’t touch her more than you need to. Don't let her see how much you care. The old refrain echoed in his head, but faintly.
"Jacen?" her voice wobbled a little.
He cupped her cheeks in his hands, and leaned forward, giving her time to pull away, to ask him to wait, to tell him to stop. Instead, Liana let out a small gasp and froze, tilting her face up to receive his kiss.
Don't get too familiar. "Liana," he breathed against her mouth. He could practically taste her, but still he felt himself gripped with the old hesitation, the old fears and divided loyalties. "This is a bad idea," he murmured.
She reached up to trace her fingers over his temple, down his cheek. The warmth in her eyes was enough to undo him, her dark eyes tender and bright like starlight. "All the choices we make right now are bad ones. Tatinas has left us no other choices. We might as well give ourselves to each other while we can."
A gift. That was what she had always been in his life. Starlight and flowers blooming and warmth and happiness. Everything good and bright in his world. He didn't know how he was going to live without her once they'd escaped. I have her now. And Jacen meant to make the most of it. He threaded his fingers into the soft waves of hair at her neck, and gently pulled her toward him. She scooted forward on the couch, her arms going around his neck.
"Jacen." And she smiled.
He seized her mouth in a hard kiss, releasing years of wanting and waiting and despair in that one crush of their mouths against each other. She met him kiss for kiss, displaying the same heat and want he'd felt from her in the casino. He pulled her into his lap and circled his palm over the bare skin of her back. She shivered and pressed against his body, her hips already instinctively grinding down.
Don’t touch her more than you need to. "May I?" he murmured, and gently rubbed his hand over one of her breasts.
She moaned and gripped his hand with her own to hold him in place. "Yes. Please."
Fully hard now, Jacen kneaded and plucked at her sweet breasts, teasing groans of pleasure from her mouth then drowning them with more kisses. He broke the kiss and nuzzled her nose. "I have to ask, darling, are you a virgin?"
Her nostrils flared with alarm, and she held onto his wrists as if afraid he might shove her away. "I…You were always there. And I never wanted anyone as much as you. I never liked anyone as much as I liked you. I tried. There were some boys I thought I liked when I was at college, but they never measured up."
He knew that dilemma all too well. He brushed her tumbled hair away from her face. Her lips were plump and already kiss-roughened, her cheeks flushed. "I've felt the same way," he murmured. "Even before I became your bodyguard." He'd thrown himself into relationships with other women, ever since he was a teenager. But none of them had ever been able to go the distance. None of the women had ever been able to replace Liana in his heart. "I've wanted to be with you ever since we were kids."
"You should have said."
Don't let her see how much you care. "I wasn't allowed to." He touched her lip with his thumb.
She tossed him a daring look then bit the tip of his thumb ever so slightly. "Nothing more about the past. Not tonight. All right?"
"Right." Live in the moment. Revel in it, in fact. He traced his hands over her shoulders, gently easing the straps of her red dress lower and lower, uncovering the soft golden brown of her skin bit by bit. "We'll go slow. Tell me what you like. Tell me if something hurts. Tell me to stop and I will."
She threw her head back to let him kiss a path down her neck and laughed. "Don't stop. Never stop."
His fingers found the zipper of her dress and he gently eased it all the way down. He was aching to be inside her, to sink deep into her warmth, but he had to go slow. He didn't want to give her some frenzied fumble for her first time.
Besides, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to savor.
Scooping a startled Liana into his arms, he headed toward her bedroom and the lush bed he knew waited for them there. She was already beautifully disheveled: her hair a dark tumble around her shoulders, her dress half-falling off, her feet bare.
She giggled and rubbed her face against his chest. "You're going to lose some clothes soon, right?"
"Oh yes." Heart soaring, he kicked open the door to her bedroom and set her down on the mattress.
She didn't wait for him to move. Instead she bounced up and began working the buttons on his dress shirt while she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. As the last button pulled free, she shoved the fabric apart and traced her palms over his chest and stomach. Her gaze was heated, her breath coming fast. She leaned forward and sucked on his neck, her mouth tentative, exploring.
He groaned and pushed her dress down to her waist then caressed the softness of her breasts. She arched against his touch as he teased and fondled, gently pinching her rich brown nipples before he lowered his mouth to take one between his teeth.
As he moved his mouth, she hissed with pleasure and her hands threaded into his hair, pulling a little. "Oh, Jacen. By the ancestors and all the gods that is good."
He pushed her dress the rest of the way off, until she was wearing only a pair of tight black panties, and then he gathered her close so he could feel her warm skin against his, feel her soft breasts crushing against his chest.
She tipped backwards toward the bed, pulling him down on top of her as they started kissing and kissing and kissing again. Her legs were open and wrapped around his hips, and he was aching to rub against her, to feel the wetness between her legs, but she was a virgin, and he meant to go slow.
She broke the kiss and stared into his eyes. "You're holding back. What is it?" She touched his lips with her fingertips.
His heart ached staring down at her. "Are you all right? I'm not going too fast."
She giggled and gave a luxurious stretch beneath him, making her perked up nipples tickle against his chest. "I feel amazing. And I want more. All. Everything." Her cheeks flushed as she bit her lip and reached forward to trace her palm up and down his cock over his pants. "Jacen, I want you to make love to me."
As soon as the words left her mouth, heat cascaded through her whole body. Part desire, part embarrassment. She wanted to be worldly and sexy, but she worried she just looked like the inexperienced virgin she was.
Jacen's breath caught, and he bent down to give her a lingering kiss. When he pulled back, he searched her face. "You're sure?"
"Yes."
"All right, well, I'm up to date on my birth control inject so I shouldn't be able to get you pregnant."
Liana quashed any pangs she might feel at that pronouncement. "I've had one too. Father's been making me get them since I went to college. I've been tested too at his insistence." Her cheeks burned to be talking about this, but she was glad Jacen cared enough about her safety—and his own—to bring it up.
"Excellent." Jacen suddenly rolled her so they were on their sides together, and his glorious hands roamed freely over her breasts and waist, her bottom. She shivered at the touch and pressed herself tighter against him, aching and hot.
"You're gorgeous." His hand tickled between her thighs, and she found herself instinctively opening wider for him, seeking the delightful press of his fingers against her core.
"Yes," she murmured, licking into his mouth as her whole body shivered and tingled.
He smiled and tucked one hand under the waistband of her panties. Slowly, he dragged them over her hips. She lifted her butt to make it easier to get them off and, as they slid to the floor, a little jolt went through her that was part shock, part thrill. She was naked. With Jacen.
He eased away from her to get his own underwear off and she gazed at his long, thick manhood where it jutted proudly out from his hips. Her heart hammered a litt
le harder trying to imagine how that would feel inside her. Her nerves prickled with an alarm that she desperately didn't want to feel.
Jacen eased on top of her and brushed the hair back from her temples with his knuckles. He was between her legs, but he wasn't trying to get inside. "Are you all right, love?"
She sucked a deep breath in and met his gaze, so familiar and warm. His skin was hot against hers, and she traced her hands down the tapered muscles of his back. She wanted this, she'd wanted this for as long as she could remember. And yet. She swallowed and pinched her eyes closed, her cheeks heating. "I guess I'm a little…intimidated. By you."
He chuckled warmly and kissed her again, his tongue making slow, lazy circles. She felt herself relaxing again underneath him, and she let herself scoot farther down until the tip of him pressed ever so slightly at her core. He hissed against her mouth, and his hips bucked a little before he stilled. She felt so empty right now, as if her body were crying out for completion.
"New plan, sweetheart." He grinned a wicked smile then wrapped his arms around her and rolled.
She yelped in surprise then blinked to find herself on top and straddling him.
"You control how much and how fast, Liana."
A surge of desire rippled through her as she looked down at Jacen. Strong, powerful Jacen all stretched out beneath her. "Hmmm." She traced her hands over his chest and up his arms, then pinned his wrists to the bed as she massaged his tongue with her own. Her hair fell like a dark curtain around their faces, and she gave him one last, hard kiss that pressed him deeper into the bed.
Summoning her courage, she reached for his shaft and pumped up and down with her hand. He tensed beneath her, the cord of his neck standing out. "Yes."
Liana bit her lip, reveling in this newly discovered power. Still holding him, she tipped herself up and ever so slightly took him inside her.
He gripped her hips. "Go slow. It might hurt."
She nodded, still biting her lip in concentration. It did hurt, a slightly uncomfortable stretching, but it was starting to feel good too. She rubbed herself against just the tip of him, slicking him with her wetness. That made them both gasp with pleasure, and suddenly every nerve in her body seemed to be tingling. She took more of him, and more and more. Slowly, torturing them both. But it was worth it when she sank all the way down, their hips tight together, Jacen filling her up entirely. "Oh." She groaned and just sat there for a moment, loving the way he felt.
"Hey." Jacen touched her cheek, then cupped the back of her neck to pull her down for a kiss.
Her heart melted, and she traced his face with her hands, trying to memorize every line of him, every sound and smell, writing everything like a tattoo on the walls of her heart.
She sat back and caught his eye. "Ready?"
"Gods, yes."
She laughed at that, and then she started moving on top of him. She was slick and ready, and he was so hard, hitting some delicious spot inside her that almost immediately made prickles gather all along her body like sparks kindling a bonfire. She increased her rhythm, and he gripped her hips, helping to guide her. He was tense beneath her, breathing hard through his nose, the lines on his neck standing out.
"Good?" she gasped.
He could only nod and pant.
Her heart pounded, seemingly in time with the pulse from her core. She ground down, taking him as deep as she could, grinding on the same delicious spot again and again until she shattered entirely, the bonfire they'd kindled exploding outward like a burst of light, like the golden red fireworks of the new year.
Jacen worked her hips against him as she felt herself going boneless. Then he let out a shout, and she felt warmth spurt inside her.
She collapsed on top of his chest, and he slung an arm around her and brushed a kiss against her hair. Both of them were breathing hard and sweaty. Liana felt lazy and warm, like she'd been heated to her melting point and now she was going to ooze into a puddle of pure pleasure.
"That was better than I ever imagined," Jacen murmured, kissing her temple.
She pushed up on one elbow and grinned. "And just how much have you imagined it?"
He put his tongue in his cheek and pretended to think. "Um…pretty much all the damn time since we both hit puberty."
She giggled and climbed off him. "We should do it again sometime then. Soon."
He froze.
"What?"
"Nothing."
She leaned over him, seeking his warmth as reassurance. "Jacen?"
He wouldn't meet her eyes. "After we escape, after this is all over…I'm still banished, love."
Her heart went cold. "Surely my father will reconsider after everything you've done to get me safely home."
Jacen gave a dry, unhappy laugh. "And then I…what? Go back to being just your bodyguard? After tonight?" When he looked at her, his gaze was almost challenging.
She sat up and turned away, her pulse trip-hammering. "Not just my bodyguard."
"Your secret lover then? What about when it's time for you to get married and make all those lovely imperial heirs?"
She gritted her teeth, hating that they were talking like this, hating how all the warm, delighted butterflies she'd had after lovemaking were going cold like dead lumps in her gut. "Maybe…maybe I could go away with you."
"Sweetheart." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him so she could hear the way his heart was thumping under her ear. "I couldn't ask that of you. Or Pym. You'd never be able to go home again. And it would plunge the whole planet into chaos. Without you, the line of succession becomes awfully muddied."
Tears stung her eyes, and she burrowed against his shoulder. "I know. I know." But I love you. As if that mattered when there was power and politics and a whole world in the balance.
He petted her hair, making calming noises under his breath, which made her feel awful. He deserved to be upset too.
She eased back, combing her long hair away from her face. "What can I do for you? How can I help you?"
His face softened, and he made a show of thinking for a minute. "A ship of my own would be good, and some money for supplies."
"I'll make sure you get everything you need." She wished she could get him everything he wanted instead, everything she wanted, but the universe was a cold, cruel place apparently.
He brushed a kiss against her shoulder. "I'm going to go downstairs and review more of the footage."
Interlude over. She stifled a sigh of regret and instead popped to her feet with a bright smile, as if she wasn't dying inside. "Yes, let's work on The Plan to Rescue Pym."
"Exactly." He smiled, but it was sad and didn't quite reach his eyes.
It seemed they were both going to pretend with each other from now on. Maybe it was better that way, but it stung like lemon on a wound. Like a cold shoulder after the heat of lovemaking.
Their eventual plan had far too many variables that could trip them up, but they also had a limited amount of time. Liana had an…unconventional idea as a backup plan, but he let her mess with the ship's controls to her heart's content. She knew more about spaceships and autopilot than he did. And though he prayed to his worthy ancestors that he wouldn't need any kind of last ditch, reckless back up plan to see them all safely away, he didn't like their odds.
He'd already heard a report on the guard com channel that they were talking about searching the ships in the hanger bay to find the princess. He and Liana were running out of time and, if they wanted to escape with Pym and the princess safe, then it needed to happen soon.
Liana had printed them two guard uniforms on the replicator, not exact matches but close enough to fool casual observation, and he had rigged up some of the com equipment so he could talk to her and vice versa without their channel being accessible by Tatinas's guards.
Their first hiccup came when Jacen went to retrieve the glamour earrings and discovered that he had forgotten to set them on their charging station. They were dead. He fisted his hands i
n frustration. That kind of mistake wasn't like him, but he'd been distracted after he and Liana had returned from the casino, and he'd simply forgotten.
He apologized to Liana, but she waved him off. "I'll tuck my hair under a wig again and keep my head down. Besides, I need to wear these for our just in case plan." And she tapped a small, simple pair of earrings she already wore.
If she was panicking, she did a good job of hiding it. Or maybe Jacen was doing the panicking for both of them. He certainly felt like his nerves were about to vibrate out of his skin with terror.
They left the shuttle in the wee hours, and the metal halls of the station echoed with their lonely steps. They passed a few drunks or druggies unconscious in the halls, and one small group having an enthusiastic orgy in a corner of the casino as they entered. But no one looked at them.
The gilded cage with the caliba gleamed from the center of the casino, and Jacen shot a glance at Liana as they made their way toward it. She wore a red wig cut into a bob, the short fringe of the hair brushing her jaw and helping disguise its shape. Her steps picked up as the cage came in sight, and he could tell the moment she and Pym came in range of each other because the caliba perked his head up. Liana bit her lip, her eyes going shiny.
It was odd, but he caught a strange backwash of their feelings, something that had never happened before. At least, he thought it was their feelings. Hope and love and a strange, dark twisting fear that seemed unlike either Pym or Liana. Strange that he could feel it. Perhaps they were both just so upset their link was detectable even to those who didn't share it. An uncomfortable thought, but there was nothing he could do about it. Almost automatically, he found himself doing what Liana always described, beaming back reassurance and calm. It's all right. It's all right. He didn't know if he was reaching her or Pym, but it seemed to work because the cringing wash of fear lessened as they got closer to the cage.
