He wasn’t known as the biggest flirt in town for no reason. Aiden was a player; what if I was just his latest conquest?
I shook my head to displace the thought, but it had lodged itself firmly in my mind and didn’t want to budge. Aiden seemed to like me, but who knew how he’d feel today or tomorrow. He said he’d been chasing me for years, but things might change now he’d caught me and all the excitement was gone.
A pool of dread curdled in my stomach. Last night had been perfect, but what would happen next? The thought was enough to make me want to lock myself in my room all day. I wasn’t sure if I could face Aiden and be rejected. I couldn’t exactly hide in my room for the rest of the pandemic though.
No, I was going to have to face him. Odds were that last night was a one-time thing. He’d gotten me out of his system, and now he’d want to move on. I needed to accept that even though a small part of me withered inside at the thought.
At some point, Aiden had weaseled his way into my heart. It had happened gradually and without me realizing it. I wished he’d come with a warning label so I could have protected my heart more effectively.
My phone lit up with an incoming call from Zoey. As usual, it was way too early in the day for a video call. I was grateful for once though, because I was in desperate need of a distraction.
I answered on the first ring, and her makeup-covered face appeared on my screen. She sometimes liked to cosplay characters for her YouTube channel, and today, it looked like she was made up as Harley Quinn.
“Wow, Zo, you look amazing,” I said when I saw her.
“Thanks.” She smiled. “It took me forever.”
I checked the time and scrunched up my nose. “It’s not even 9:00 A.M. How have you done a full face of makeup already?”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Because unlike some people, I happen to be a morning person.”
“Which is why I have to wonder how we’re friends. It’s weird.”
“Hey, I never complained about your obsession with horror movies, which is way weirder.”
“Maybe to you.” I chuckled.
“Maybe to everyone,” she replied. “Anyway, I tried to call you last night, but you never called me back…”
My expression sobered a little as I realized I was going to have to tell Zoey the embarrassing truth about why. I mean, I shouldn’t have felt embarrassed about being with Aiden—no other girl at school would be. I was embarrassed about how I’d done a complete one-eighty on my feelings for him though. I’d acted like he was the devil, but now I could see what a great guy he was. Zoey was going to think I was a total hypocrite.
“Lissa?” Zoey prompted.
I opened my mouth to tell her but then completely chickened out. “It’s my birthday in two weeks.” I blurted out the first thing I could think of to distract her instead.
I hadn’t really thought about my birthday since lockdown began, so I wasn’t sure why it had come to mind. It was probably because my party was supposed to be this weekend. It was the only weekend my parents weren’t scheduled to work this month, so we’d planned to throw my party early. It was strange to think how difficult it had been to find a free Saturday night in their schedule when now it was completely free. Thanks to the pandemic, most weddings were canceled. If only the wedding they shot in Mexico had been a few weeks later, they never would have got into this mess.
For a moment, Zoey looked slightly confused, but she quickly turned defensive. “Are you telling me that because you’re worried I’ll forget? I’m your bestie, Clary. Your bestie. Those other bitches we’re friends with might forget, but not me. I know that date better than my own birthday.”
She sounded really offended, so I rushed on. “No, I know you won’t forget. I was just thinking that it sucks I can’t have the party we’d planned.”
“Ugh, I know,” she agreed. “I’d prepared the best makeup look for you too. I don’t know why you wanted to have a Halloween party for your eighteenth, but I was going to make you look totally hot.”
“You know how much I love Halloween.”
“Yeah, but you like it for all the wrong reasons. You’re supposed to like it so you can wear cute outfits, not so you can watch scary movies that make it impossible to sleep at night.” I’d forced Zoey into watching a horror movie marathon with me a few years back, and she still hadn’t forgiven me.
“It’s going to be weird celebrating it without you,” I said. It was going to be even weirder to celebrate without my parents. I wished I could somehow stop time so I wouldn’t have to turn eighteen without them.
“I know,” Zoey replied. “But don’t worry, we’ll still have your party once lockdown ends. Your parents will be back by then, and it will be epic, I promise.”
“I hope so.”
I didn’t know how she could be so sure, but I appreciated her optimism. Zoey always knew the right thing to say, and it made me wonder if perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing to tell her the truth about what happened with Aiden. I needed to talk to someone, and I told my best friend everything. Now wasn’t the time to start keeping secrets from her.
“So, you mentioned I missed a call from you last night,” I started. “I might have missed it because something happened…” Man, this was hard. How did I even begin?
“Something?” Her eyes brightened with intrigue. “Something good or something bad?” she asked when I didn’t answer straightaway.
I couldn’t seem to respond.
“Clary…”
“Something like… I made out with Aiden!” The words burst from my lips, and I covered my face in embarrassment as Zoey started to squeal.
“Shut up!”
“Willingly,” I grumbled in reply.
“Shut up! You didn’t!”
I groaned. Admitting this was even more painful than I’d thought it would be. Zoey was completely freaking out with excitement.
“Are you messing with me?” she continued.
I slowly lifted my face from my hands to look at her. “No, I’m not messing with you. We kissed, and I think I want to do it again.”
She squealed once more, and I quickly lowered the volume on my phone. Her voice could probably be heard from Rosalind and Herb’s house across the street.
“How did you not tell me this the moment we started talking?” she asked when she finally managed to get herself under control again. “How did it even happen?”
“Well, after spending all this time with Aiden, I’ve finally started to get to know him. He’s kind of sweet and not at all like I imagined. I mean, he’s still annoying as anything and has the world’s worst pickup lines, but I actually kind of enjoy our banter. He told me he liked me last night, and it made me realize I had feelings for him too.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m dying here! This is the best lockdown news ever. I knew he liked you, and I knew you guys were perfect for each other. I knew it.” She placed a hand against her chest as she continued. “I feel like my life is complete now. My little Clarissa James has herself a boyfriend. So, tell me everything. Is he a good kisser?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I quickly corrected her.
“Not yet, but he will be.”
I didn’t argue. It seemed pointless when I knew Zoey wouldn’t listen anyway. A part of me hoped she was right though. That Aiden and I would end up in a relationship.
“And you didn’t tell me about the kiss,” she continued.
I slowly smiled as I remembered the moment. “It was pretty amazing.” Describing the kiss as amazing didn’t seem to do it justice though. It had been out of this world, but I was worried Zoey would think I’d turned completely sappy if I actually admitted that.
“And…”
“And that’s all I’ve got to say,” I said. “Who knows if it will even happen again.” I muttered the last part, finding it difficult to say it aloud.
“Of course, it will happen again. You told me he said he likes you.”
“Which could just be an
other one of his moves,” I replied. “Now that we’ve kissed, he probably wants to move on to someone new, just like he does with all the other girls.”
Zoey was silent for a moment as she looked at me. “Well, I don’t believe that’s the case. But there’s only one way to find out for sure.”
“Which is…”
“You need to talk to him about it.”
It wasn’t the advice I wanted to hear, but I knew she was right. I couldn’t hide in my room and hope for the best. I was going to have to face Aiden and ask him how he felt. I blew out a breath and nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Aren’t I always?”
“Don’t make me answer that,” I said with a laugh. “Anyway, I should probably get up and fetch myself a coffee. If I leave it any longer, I’ll get a withdrawal headache.”
“Is coffee just code for kisses with Aiden?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively.
“It’s not.”
“Are you sure?”
“Bye, Zo.”
She was laughing as I hung up the phone. Sometimes, it felt like my bestie enjoyed irritating me as much as Aiden did. She hadn’t been totally off base when she’d suggested Aiden was code for coffee though. The thought of seeing him again ignited the same jittery feeling I got whenever I needed another caffeine fix. I suspected the sensation was only going to get worse when I was face to face with him.
I checked myself in the mirror before slowly making my way downstairs to get some breakfast. I’d never been so nervous to leave my room. Aiden could be anywhere in the house, and a part of me was hoping I could get a coffee and return to my room without bumping into him. The other part of me wanted to see him more than anything though. My feelings were totally messed up.
When I reached the kitchen, I hesitated by the door. Aiden was already sitting at the kitchen counter. The nervous feeling twisting my stomach intensified, and my body refused to move forward. It wouldn’t move backward either, so I was stuck in the doorway.
Aiden’s arms were resting on the counter, and his eyes were focused on his phone. He looked so perfect with the sun streaming in through the window behind him. It made the fact we’d kissed feel even more unbelievable. Aiden couldn’t actually like me, could he?
Sensing my presence, he turned, and the brightest smile I’d ever seen lit his features. Aiden had the kind of smile that made the room behind him disappear when it was focused on you. And right now, he was all I could seem to see. His expression was hypnotizing, and it took a moment for my senses to come back to life. My nerves seemed to roar back with a vengeance too, and my stomach was fluttering as I slowly stepped into the room.
The fact Aiden was smiling at me was a good start. I’d half-expected him to immediately start joking around like last night had never happened. Still, I was cautious as I entered the kitchen. Since we’d kissed, we’d entered new territory, and I had no idea where I stood with him now. I knew how to handle Aiden the player—I was practically an expert now. But I was at a complete loss for how to act around the Aiden who kissed me. Especially since I had no idea if he even wanted to do it again.
“Hi,” I said. I stopped on the other side of the kitchen counter, too nervous to approach him directly.
“Hi.” His smiling eyes twinkled in response.
I wasn’t sure what to make of his expression, and I quickly busied myself with the coffee machine. My fingers were clumsy though, and my stomach quivered as I heard the scraping sound of Aiden’s chair pulling back from the counter.
I tried to ignore him as he moved around the kitchen island to approach me. It was almost impossible to pretend he wasn’t there when he leaned against the cupboards at my side. I glanced up and found him smiling down at me, a questioning look in his gaze.
“What you doing all the way over here?”
“Um, err, coffee,” I stammered.
He laughed and reached out to lightly tuck a stray strand of hair behind me ear. He seemed so at ease by how close we were, and his gentle expression made me cautiously optimistic.
“I already made you a cup.” He nodded toward the two mugs placed on the counter where he’d been sitting.
I frowned as I looked at them. “How did you know I’d be down before it went cold?”
“Because you always wander in around this time. And if it went cold before you got here, I’d have just made you another.”
“That’s really nice of you,” I murmured. I had to wonder if he was being nice because he was about to reject me. There was no apprehension in his eyes though, and he wasn’t looking at me like he was about to break my heart. I was trying to determine his feelings from a cup of coffee though, which really wasn’t a precise science. He could make me ten coffees, and I’d still have no idea what was in his heart. I needed to be brave and just ask him what he was feeling. It was much harder to do than it sounded though.
I hesitated as I stared at him. He had an easy smile on his lips, and it felt like questioning him about last night might ruin the moment. I wasn’t sure I could get through the morning without knowing for sure what he was thinking.
“Do you regret last night?” I blurted out. My voice was rife with uncertainty, and I’d said the words so fast I was worried he might not have heard them correctly. I’d treated the question a little like ripping off a Band-Aid. The quicker it was done, the sooner I could get over the pain.
“What?” Genuine confusion colored his gaze.
“Do you regret last night?” I made sure to speak a little slower this time so I wouldn’t have to repeat it again. My body was still stiff with apprehension and nerves as I awaited his response.
“Of course, I don’t regret it.”
The tension gripping my heart seemed to release at his words. He was still giving me a puzzled look though, like he couldn’t understand why I’d even considered that he might regret what happened.
“Why?” he continued, eyeing me warily. “Have you woken up and decided last night was a horrible mistake?”
Uncertainty flickered through his gaze, and I finally started to understand why he looked so confused. He was looking at me like he believed I was the one with regrets. That couldn’t be further from the truth though. I still liked him. I’d liked him more each day I’d been here. The fact he was so nervous meant he must really like me too.
I slowly started to smile. “Oh, it was definitely a mistake.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Yes, it was a mistake that we didn’t kiss sooner.”
Aiden exhaled a relieved breath, and he started to beam in response. “Maybe we should make it again?” His voice was low and slightly gravelly, and my stomach clenched in response.
“Maybe we should,” I murmured as I reached up on my tiptoes and sealed my words with a kiss. His arms came around me, and my body was pushed against the counter as Aiden deepened our kiss. Shots of desire rushed through me, and I had to wonder why I’d doubted the connection between us. I definitely regretted spending time talking with him this morning when we could have been doing this.
“MJ, what are you doing?”
I jumped out of Aiden’s arms and turned to find Elliot at the entrance to the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at us. My cheeks were already flushed, and I now felt them turning bright red with embarrassment. Aiden wasn’t the least bit concerned though as he took my hand in his.
“Nothing! We’re doing nothing,” I squeaked in reply.
Elliot shook his head. “Nothing? That looked like a whole lot of kissing to me.”
“Oh, that. Well, that’s because…” My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls. I couldn’t seem to spit the words out.
“Because we’re dating,” Aiden said.
Elliot’s mouth opened with surprise, and I was stunned into silence. I stared at Aiden, unsure what to say. I’d been overthinking everything this morning, and I hadn’t even been certain if Aiden would want to kiss me again. The idea he wanted to
date me wasn’t something I’d dared to consider. But he made it sound so simple. Like it was obvious.
“You want to date me?” I murmured to Aiden.
He smiled shyly at me. “If that’s okay with you…”
He was being so sweet, and I really wished we were alone. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t believe he wanted to date me. Aiden didn’t date anyone. Ever. From the look on his face though, I knew he was being sincere. Aiden really wanted to go out with me.
I didn’t get a chance to respond to him because Elliot interrupted. “My brother, MJ, really?”
I kept looking into Aiden’s eyes as I slowly started to nod. “Yes, your brother and I are dating.”
Aiden’s cautious smile grew, and he squeezed my hand. “Really?”
“Really.” I’d felt so uncertain coming downstairs this morning, but Aiden had thoroughly pushed those worries away. I was probably going to regret this decision, as Aiden was bound to break my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The feelings I had for him couldn’t be ignored, and if he felt the same, then I’d be stupid not to give us a chance.
Elliot let out a laugh, and I turned to him. “Ha! I knew this was going to happen. I should have taken that bet with Seth.”
Aiden scowled at his little brother. “What bet with Seth?”
“He bet me you wouldn’t have the guts to tell Clary that you love her. I told him that he clearly didn’t know you because you totally would.” Elliot approached the counter and stole a piece of toast from Aiden’s plate. Aiden was too distracted to notice though.
“And when exactly were you talking to my best friend?” he asked.
“Well, Mom forced me to go outside and ride my bike yesterday to get some fresh air. I saw him in his driveway playing ball, and we talked.” Elliot was speaking with his mouth full of bread, and his words were barely audible.
“All about me, clearly,” Aiden replied. “Remind me I need to kill my best friend when we get out of lockdown.”
Elliot swallowed his mouthful of food before he responded. “Will do,” he said. He was looking between the two of us and slowly started to smile. “What’s Mom going to say?” There was an evil glint in Elliot’s eyes as he realized he’d hit on an awkward topic. He was expecting there to be trouble if his mom found out about Aiden and me, and it seemed he couldn’t wait to witness it.
Stuck with You Page 19
