Most mornings when the weather is decent, I come out here and read something to get my heart centered on God. I’m setting everything on my side table when my phone buzzes with a text from Caleb.
Caleb: Hey. How’s Jam Café for lunch? That is if you haven’t changed your mind about me taking you ;)
Mindy: Looking forward to it. Jam sounds great. Thanks.
Caleb: What are you wearing? Just kidding. I know you won’t answer that.
Mindy: Caleb Anders, you are awful! I wouldn’t tell you anyway. I’m about to do my devotional—run with Shannon—church after that.
You want to pick me up here at 12:30?
Caleb: You didn’t think I was so awful when I was showing off my dance moves last night. Tell the truth. I dance like the stars and you know it.
Mindy: It sure was something ;) You had me laughing at your version of the chicken polka. Gotta go. See you for lunch.
Caleb: K. See you at 12:30
That started my morning just right. I pull out my devotional and Bible. I’ve been reading through Psalm 23 and my devotional breaks the Psalm into separate thoughts to be considered. Today’s reading says:
When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we don’t need to fear evil. God is with us. His rod and His staff comfort us.
His rod and staff are actually two parts of the same stick the shepherd would carry with him as he herded sheep. Shepherds used a rod to protect the flock from predators or to reprimand unruly sheep that picked on others or were oblivious to danger. The crook of the staff led the sheep in the right direction and pulled them back to where they needed to go.
If you are facing hard times, you may feel alone. Your Shepherd has not left you. He is protecting you and leading you where you need to go.
I sit thinking about all the ways God leads me through hard times, how He cares for me and guides me. David, the Psalmist, was right. Comfort floods me as I remember God’s care. I sit in quiet prayer.
Looking out to the south from my big wicker chair, my eyes scan the Gallatin mountains. Kat may love to travel. I love the feel of home. I offer prayers of gratitude to God for all the blessings He continually pours into my life. I even talk to Him a bit about Caleb.
God, you know I’ve had my heart set on Caleb for so long. You are the only one I’ve shared my feelings with over all these years. If I am wrong, show me. That man is something special—and he’s funny and so kind. Protect him as he fights fires. Help us to find a way to something deeper if that’s what You have in mind. He sure makes me happy, God. If it’s meant to be, I leave it up to you to guide me there. Amen
After I finish praying, I take my teacup in to the sink, put on some running clothes and head out to the front of the Morgans’ property. Shannon said she would meet me for a run before church.
Running has always been a passion for me. I ran track in high school. I love feeling how powerful my legs can be as I carry myself forward. I even relish the feeling of being spent and sweaty at the end of a run. I’m a pretty short person, so I had to train extra hard to be a good runner when I was competing. Now I simply do it for the joy—besides, it helps earn me a free pass to chocolate when the craving hits. I do love my chocolate.
Shannon drives up and parks. I met her when I first started teaching 3rd grade at Emily Dickenson Elementary three years ago. She teaches the 4th graders, so we collaborate on field trips and I also give her a heads-up about children when they are moving up a grade. We eat lunch together most days, and a few mornings a week we meet for runs. Once Kat relocated up here from LA, I introduced the two of them. It’s been sweet spending time all three of us together. Shannon and I stretch together and head off down the road at a moderate pace.
“What are your plans for the summer?” I ask.
“Reading. Resting. Some regular hiking, for sure. Maybe a few days out at my uncle’s ranch riding. I miss being on a horse. I don’t have anything too firm. I just want to let this past year slip away and enjoy summer in Montana, you know? How about you?”
“I have to take that CEU course and I’m volunteering at the summer camp like I’ve done the past three years. Otherwise, a lot of downtime, like you said. Reading on my porch. Some coffee dates with you.”
“Sounds good. Are you talking about that four-week camp? I love that you do that.”
“It fills my heart, really. Those kids are amazing. I’m coordinating guest teachers. Let me know if you want to pop in one day. Maybe you could do an art project?” I look over at Shannon to see her reaction to my idea.
“I might just do that. I’ll let you know. So, what are you doing after church? Going to the retirement center?”
“I am, but I have lunch with Caleb first.”
Shannon gets this silly smile.
I say, “It’s nothing. We’ve been friends forever.”
“I’m just saying, friends don’t slow dance the way you were last night.”
“Whatever, Shannon. It was slow dancing. It’s romantic by default.”
Caleb sure did sweep me away, though. We never did go to any of the school dances together, so that was the first time I had ever been held by him—and I liked it more than a little.
IT’S 12:25 WHEN I HEAR a truck out in the driveway. Caleb hops out and strides toward my back house. He’s such a big man. It looks like a giant is coming through the yard—a sandy-blond giant who lifts trees for fun. He knocks on the screen door.
“Hey, Mindy. You ready?”
“Hi, Caleb. I sure am. Running on Sunday mornings makes me extra hungry by lunchtime.”
“You never stopped running, huh? That’s awesome. You plan on eating more than me?”
He chuckles.
“I won’t out-eat you. I promise. And, yes, running is one of those things that brings me joy. You know?”
“I do. Being outdoors does it for me. Lifting weights, hanging with the guys at the station, reading a good mystery novel, and dancing with you. Those things bring me joy.”
“Dancing with me, huh? So, I made the joy list?”
“Definitely. You made the list big-time.”
Caleb. He’s one smooth talker. I know he charms everyone he meets. The things he says to me almost make me blush, but I know he’s just being playful. He’s always been like that—charismatic, larger than life, and making everyone around him feel like something wonderful is about to happen just because he’s here. I have to remind my heart to filter most of what he says in light of those facts.
We pull up to Jam Café. There’s a little line to wait for tables, so we stand chatting.
I ask, “So, I haven’t heard much about your life since you went off to be a woodland firefighter. What’s it like for you?”
“I love it, but it’s nothing I can do forever. It takes a huge toll on a body to do what we do. Our job is an adrenaline rush and a lot like being on a sports team, combined with the military. We keep our days pretty structured when we aren’t on a fire. Right now, we’re off season, so we occasionally get called out around the state, or even to Mexico to help out. We’re coming up on summer. It’s going to get busy locally as the heat picks up. That’s when our part-timers come on board.”
I look up into Caleb’s bright blue eyes. They are so familiar, yet it’s been so long since we’ve been this close, not counting last night’s wedding. I could get lost in his eyes. I don’t want him to notice me staring, so I keep the conversation going.
“What kinds of things are you doing while it’s not peak season?”
“We’ve got some planned burns. We have to set the forest on fire, but strategically. That helps prevent fires we can’t control later. You know, fight fire with fire—that’s actually a thing. I’m in more of a leadership position because of my extra training and the few years I’ve been doing this. That means I do some planning the other guys aren’t in on—strategy, prep, stuff like that.”
I say, “I had no idea it was so involved. I just thought you played Xbox and hung around t
he station when you weren’t running headlong into flames. I mean, I’ve heard of preventative burns and some other ways forests are managed, but I never knew there was more to your job than that.”
At that he laughs.
“Yeah. Not a lot of Xbox time at the station, that’s for sure. Only a few of us live there and we have a rigorous two-hour workout every morning. You don’t get muscles like this without some serious discipline.”
He winks, flexes, and laughs at himself.
I giggle, but yes. Those muscles show how hard he works. I quell an urge to reach out and touch his bicep. He goes on like he doesn’t know I’m stuck on the thought of his muscles.
“... then it’s breakfast, shower, care for equipment, a little break, training, meal prep, supper, break, station care and cleaning, and bed down. Like I said, military style.”
The hostess calls us to be seated and put in our order. We find a corner booth. I get a plate of French toast with a side of fruit. Caleb orders a trio of eggs benedict three ways.
Caleb says, “You and I must have wished we had been able to have spent the early morning together since we both ordered breakfast food for lunchtime.”
Whenever he says things like this, my stomach gets a little tight and I feel warmth spread across my body.
Thinking of waking up in the morning with Caleb—that’s something I’ve imagined for years—being his wife, waking up and having breakfast together. But again, my heart travels roads my head knows better than traversing. Caleb and I won’t be having breakfast together as man and wife. At least we’re having this meal now.
Our conversation flows like it always has. Caleb puts me at ease, makes me laugh, and despite his occasional juvenile ways, he is an amazing listener with a lot of wisdom. Lunch is over way too soon. Caleb and I head out to the truck. He opens my door for me as I hop up to my seat. I love that about the Anders boys. Their mom taught them manners and respect.
Caleb looks over as we drive.
He asks, “What are you up to this afternoon?”
“I usually spend Sunday afternoons at Valley Village. Do you know of it? The retirement home in town? Then I join Mom and Dad for Sunday supper at their place.”
“Yeah. I know where that is. You never cease to amaze me, Mindy. You spend all week with those children, pouring out your heart into their lives, and then you take your day off to be a blessing to the seniors. Are you real?”
“You know me better than most, which means you know I’m human like everyone else. I just enjoy spending time there. It’s one of the highlights of my week. What are you doing this afternoon? You want to tag along? You’d turn some heads at the center, that’s for sure.”
He laughs and says, “I wish I could. I agreed to play chauffeur for Kat and Jack. I’m taking Brett and Patrice to the airport so they don’t have to pay an Uber. I would much rather hang with you, trust me.”
I’m thinking how I want to blow off my commitment and ride along with him, but I don’t want to be forward and impose myself on Caleb, so I just soak in the goodness of having this rare time together.
He’ll be off to Yellowstone tomorrow. Who knows when I’ll see him again. That’s the thing with Caleb and me. It’s not realistic to feel the way I do. He is unattainable in so many ways. Deepening our relationship isn’t feasible. Could someone send my heart that memo? Seeing him these past few days is going to make me miss him even more than usual.
chapter three
Caleb
I KNOW GOOD GUYS PITCH in and help out where they can. Mom impressed that truth on me and Jack through her words, but more than anything by her example. Still, I’m a bit grumpy about taking Brett and Patrice to the airport. It’s not them personally. If Brett lived up here, we’d probably be friends. I owe Patrice for giving up her seat last night so I could sit by Mindy. Unfortunately, driving them today meant bringing Mindy home after lunch, and I was nowhere near ready to say goodbye to her.
Patrice and Brett load into my truck. Once we’re on the road, I start thinking about how things went when I dropped Mindy off. I jogged around to her side of the truck and let her out. We walked to her porch and I told her how great it had been to see her this weekend. She said it was wonderful seeing me too—she said wonderful. So far, I got a “like that very much” and a “wonderful” from her in the past two days.
I didn’t get any inkling she was expecting a kiss. Mindy isn’t like other girls. I don’t think she’s done a lot of dating. She makes me want to be careful not to cross lines—and God knows I cross all sorts of lines for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, in my sleep too, I’m sure. But, around her, I’m restrained and self-aware.
So when she reached up and put her arms around my neck to give me a hug, I hugged her back and said I’d love to see her next time I’m in town, and then I left, even though I wanted to turn around, grab Mindy by the waist, pull her to me and kiss her. It might kill me if I don’t kiss Mindy soon. I’m either a chicken or a genius. Right now, I’m leaning toward the first option. I’m pretty sure that’s what Jack would say too.
“Caleb?”
I realize Brett is calling my name, so I look over at him.
“Huh?”
He asks, “Did you hear me? You seemed lost in your thoughts.”
“Oh, sorry, Brett. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were heading back to Yellowstone tomorrow.”
“Oh. Yeah. I am. We’ve got a planned burn to help prep for fire season.”
“Wow. Never dull for you, huh?”
“No, we do have downtime—sometimes too much of it. We’re either going hard up to sixteen hours a day or we’re training and waiting. It’s feast or famine for us. Sometimes we’re called in on other jobs around the state. It’s never the same thing twice, that’s a fact. But we do have some dull spaces in the mix. Even working a fire, there can be a lot of waiting.”
Brett asks, “So, what had you up in your head just then?”
“Nothing much. Just thinking.”
“About a petite bridesmaid with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes?”
“How did you know the color of her eyes?”
Brett says, “I’ve got a pulse, don’t I? But don’t get upset. I can tell you’ve got your eyes on her. I’m heading home to the woman I hope will notice me one day.”
“So, you know how it feels.”
“To be head over heels and wonder if the feeling is mutual? Yeah. Story of my life these days.”
I sigh and consider the reality of my situation.
“I don’t want to scare Mindy off. I mean, I’ve loved her for years. I don’t want to overwhelm her. What if she doesn’t feel the same? Besides, my life isn’t predictable. I’m not near enough to Bozeman. There are a hundred reasons this can’t work.”
Brett looks over at me.
“Look. I don’t know much about committed relationships, and Jack would tell you as much if he were here. I never wanted to settle down before I met Julie. What I do know is if you feel like you do, you can’t just give up. You’ve got to give yourself the chance. Give her the chance. Don’t go down without a fight.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
And then from the back seat, “I knew you had your heart set on Mindy.” Patrice. Great. I had forgotten she was there. I was so focused on talking with Brett. Well, she’s cool. She already showed me that.
“Yeah. I’ve got it bad. And I owe you for switching seats with me at the reception. Please don’t say anything to Kat, though my brother probably already did. I just want to be the one letting Mindy know how I feel. I don’t want her hearing things from a third party.”
“You’ve got my word, Caleb.”
“Thanks, Patrice.”
I help the two of them unload and get checked in. Bozeman airport looks like it could double for a lodge somewhere. We only have four gates. Brett and Patrice don’t need me sticking around, so I leave them and head back to Jack and Kat’s to spend the night.
I have half a mind to head on to the station, but I told Jack I’d check in on the house one more time before I go. Jack and Kat bought a place on a few acres outside town off a road called Lodgepole Canyon. It’s got four bedrooms. One they call mine for now—til they take my advice and make me an uncle. I’d rather be a dad, though. I’m not getting younger. I’m twenty-five and I know the woman I’d want to come home to after a few days at the station. The one I want to have a family with and grow old loving. Seeing her was like igniting a patch of dry August grass. Everything in me feels consumed and I can’t extinguish the thought of her.
IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK on the job. Less time for my mind to run rampant about Mindy. We’ve got a controlled burn scheduled and that involves a whole lot of planning. I’m considered a forestry technician—fire dispatcher. I get paid a little more substantial salary, my rank is higher, and I work full-time hours, which is hard to come by in wildland fire work. In my role, I lead teams and coordinate the planning on projects like this one.
I start the meeting this morning with a bunch of guys I literally trust with my life. “We’ve got to map out the territory, gauge the winds, and determine a whole lot of variables in order to contain this burn and keep all the men and women on the job safe.”
Everyone nods. Some of us have been doing this for a few years. Others are first timers. It takes the better part of three days to plan it out and organize the details. When we aren’t planning, we’re training the firefighters who haven’t been with us for past protective burns.
Jared and I run over to our house on the day we have off between planning and the actual burn. We combined some assets last year to buy this place as an investment. It’s a two-bed, two-bath home siting on a little land in the town of West Yellowstone. It’s only 90 miles from Bozeman, but that’s far enough to make visiting Mindy regularly pretty impossible with my fire schedule.
The Fireman's Perfect Match Page 2
