Sweet Like a Psycho

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by Ivy Smoak


  “We both know you can fix anything wrong with your car by yourself. Besides, I saw you drive up today. I have better things to do than chauffeur your lying ass around town.”

  “I’m only lying because you are. We’re off the case, man.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you?” He dropped his feet from his desk and leaned forward in his chair. “You’re already on thin ice around here. If you keep pressing this, it’ll be the last straw they need to kick you to the curb.”

  I knew that. But I also had a feeling in my gut that I was about to solve the damned thing, which would do the exact opposite for my career. “I know what I’m doing.”

  “No one knows what they’re doing when beautiful women are involved.”

  “Touché.”

  “Just don’t believe anything Violet says. She’s cra…”

  “Crazy. I know.” But she didn’t seem crazy to me. She seemed…lonely. Whenever I talked to her she threatened me to get off her property. But I was pretty sure her eyes had been begging me to stay. Tonight I was going to up my flirting game. Besides, Damien’s constant pestering reminded me that it had been quite a while since I had been on a date. This would be good practice. Not real flirting at all. Just practice for when I got back out there.

  “Please just go home. And if you do decide to be an idiot and go to her house, call me so I can be your backup!” Damien called after me as I headed toward the door.

  I didn’t respond. I just waved my hand in the air to say goodbye. Having him with me was not part of the plan. How was I supposed to worm my way into Violet’s good graces if Damien was scowling at me the whole night? Or worse…hitting on her. I wasn’t sure why the thought made me angry. It wasn’t like I was actually going to be hitting on her tonight. Just innocent, fake flirting.

  ***

  I put the car in park, ignoring every part of my brain telling me to turn around. Fake flirting was going to be difficult when Violet was bent over her air-conditioning unit with her perfect ass jutting up into the air. I stared at the black leggings she was wearing. A very perfect ass. She might as well have had a neon sign on her saying, “Trouble.”

  I ran my hand down my face and over the scruff on my chin. I was a detective. Not a horny teenager. I could keep it in my pants for one night. This was going to make or break my career.

  She bent over even more as she examined the air-conditioning unit.

  I groaned. She’s crazy, I tried to tell myself. But I didn’t believe the words. She blew up a house. I wasn’t sure I believed that either. So what the hell am I doing here? I grabbed the bags of take-out before I could change my mind.

  My car door slammed and Violet jumped, hitting her head on the side of the unit.

  “Ow,” she mumbled. But then it was like she slowly registered what had caused her to hit her head. She quickly spun around and stared at me. There was a spot of grease right beside her nose. She was holding a hammer in her hand. A hammer that had no business being anywhere near her air conditioner.

  “You again,” she seethed and pointed the hammer at me. “How many times am I going to have to ask you to get off my property?” But before I could respond, she sneezed in the most adorable way, and then proceeded to wipe the grease spot across her cheek, smearing it everywhere.

  I would have laughed, but for some reason it made her look even sexier. “You’ll probably have to ask me a few more times,” I said with a smile. “It just so happens that I like coming around to see you.” This flirting thing was easy. I wasn’t out of practice at all.

  She squinted her eyes at me. “Okay. Then let me ask you a few more times. Get. Off. My. Property. Get off my property. Off. Now.” She pointed to my car. “Go.”

  I ignored her and walked closer. “I noticed you weren’t feeling well earlier. I brought dinner for us to share.” I lifted up the take-out bags. “Together this time, though.” I gave her my most charming smile.

  For one second, her gaze dipped to my smile. But then she immediately snapped her attention back to my eyes. “Go to hell.” She started to storm past me.

  “Whoa.” I caught her arm. “I’m not here on business. I’m here to have dinner with you. You know…like a date.”

  She looked down at her arm and then back up at me. Her left eyebrow rose. “Like a date?” She laughed. “Look, you’re clearly from out of town, so let me help you out. I’m insane.” She pulled out of my grip and then gestured her hands around her head in a comical way, although it was a little intimidating since she was still holding the hammer. “People stay away from me. Be one of those people, Detective Reed.”

  “You can call me Tucker.” I smiled again, ignoring her lame attempt at scaring me away. And I couldn’t help wondering why she so desperately wanted to be all alone. I certainly didn’t like being single. Four months of moping around were enough for me.

  She sighed and looked down at her hammer. “You’re not supposed to be here, Tucker.”

  I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Here in the woods? Here with her? Here in this stupid town? She was probably right about all three of those things, yet…here I was. I shrugged. “Where am I supposed to be then?”

  “Anywhere but here.” She absently tapped the hammer against her thigh a few times as she glanced at the bags of food.

  “It’s a little too late for that, I can’t eat all this alone.”

  She scrunched her mouth to the side in thought.

  “Plus, I can fix that for you.” I nodded to her air-conditioner.

  She still didn’t respond.

  This wasn’t a hard decision. She was sick. There was no way that she was in the mood to cook tonight. Plus I was offering her free repair services. I was going above and beyond. “You know what? You’re right. You are crazy…” I knew I had her where I wanted her because a line in her forehead I didn’t know existed suddenly appeared. “…because you care about fixing your air-conditioner even though it’s freezing out. No wonder you’re sick.”

  She frowned. “I’m trying to fix the heater.”

  This time I did laugh. “That’s not your furnace. That’s the air-conditioning unit.”

  She sneezed. “Ugh. I’ve been out here for thirty minutes trying to figure out how to open up the wrong thing?” She sneezed again.

  “Let’s get you inside.”

  She didn’t move, she just looked back down at the bag. “There’s really too much for you to eat alone?”

  “I probably have enough food here for four people honestly. I went a little overboard because I didn’t know what you like.” The smile on her lips was small, but it felt like a win for me. “What do you say?”

  She sighed. “No.”

  What? Seriously? “I didn’t want to hang this over your head, but technically you did steal from a detective earlier. You can get into all sorts of trouble for that.”

  “You gave me your jacket. I didn’t rip it off your back.”

  “True. Scratch the petty thievery. But dinner’s getting cold. And I’m good at distinguishing between an air-conditioning unit and a furnace. What does a guy have to do to win you over?”

  “Okay. Fine.” She pinched her eyes closed like she immediately regretted her decision. “You can stay.” She opened up her eyes again and pierced me with an intense stare. “But you have to fix my heater because the repair guy can’t come for two days and…” her voice trailed off when she sneezed again. “And this isn’t a date. Just give me three minutes.” She put up three fingers like she was talking to a child and then ran up to her house, her hammer gripped tightly in her hand.

  My eyes gravitated back to her ass. She was wrong. This was most definitely a date. A fake one. Absolutely, 100 perfect fake. So stop staring at her ass.

  Chapter 7

  Violet

  What the heck did I just agree to? I sneezed as I wiped down the counter once, twice, three times until every remaining spot of flour was gone. But a clean counter didn’t help. The rest of the kitchen wa
s a mess. The rest of the house was even worse.

  Zeke and I had spent most of the day playing hot lava, which entailed pulling off all the couch cushions and pillows and putting them on the floor to hop on. I had melted in the lava way more times than Zeke thanks to my constant sneezing in between jumps.

  “Mommy.” Zeke pitty-patted my leg. “What are you doing? It’s your turn to make it through the lava course.”

  “I’m just…” I let my voice trail off. Screw it. I tossed the washcloth back down on the counter. My house was a disaster. And freezing cold. Zeke was dressed in his snow-pants and layered up in a few sweaters. The only reason I had agreed to let Tucker in was so that he’d fix the broken heater. Who cared what he thought of my house? This wasn’t a date. I wasn’t trying to impress him. We both knew why he was really here. He was fishing around for information. And my lips were sealed. And I was only going to open them to eat the food he had brought. If I hadn't been exhausted, I would have turned him away.

  I tucked a dreadlock behind Zeke’s ear. “You know my friend who brought us doughnuts earlier? Well…he brought dinner for us too.”

  Zeke’s eyes grew round. “More doughnuts for dinner?”

  “No, not doughnuts.” Honestly I didn’t know if that was true. He may have brought doughnuts for dinner. He was a cop after all. It may have been the only thing he ever ate for all I knew. “I don’t know what he brought, we’ll have to see when he brings it in.”

  “Doughnuts!” Zeke took off toward the front door.

  Abandoning my lame attempt at cleaning up my house, I followed my son.

  Zeke threw open the door and yelled “doughnuts” to a very confused looking Detective Reed.

  He looked at me and then back at my son.

  I assumed he knew I had a kid. I had told him I didn’t live alone. And he had known my name without me offering the information. He had clearly done some digging on me. But the way he was looking at Zeke made me think he wasn’t very good at his job. Because he sincerely looked surprised. Or maybe I had this all wrong. Maybe he wasn’t digging at all. And this was a real date.

  Which meant that letting him come in was a terrible, awful idea. I put my hand on Zeke’s shoulder and stared at Detective Reed. I was about to tell him to go when he crouched down in front of my son.

  “You know,” he said. “I didn’t bring doughnuts this time, but I did bring dessert. How about we eat dinner first and then you can have that?”

  “Or…we could have dessert first.” Zeke looked at him hopefully.

  “Or we could have dinner first.”

  Zeke sighed. “Fine. But we have to get away from the lava fast or else we won’t be able to eat anything because we’ll be dead. Hurry, your feet are burning!” Zeke started to hop from foot to foot like his feet were on fire.

  “You better hurry! Or the lava will get you!” I grabbed the take-out bags from Detective Reed’s hands and watched Zeke pull him toward our family room.

  Zeke looked so happy. It made me realize just how much I was failing as a mother. He never had friends over. It was always just the two of us. I knew some of the kids at school picked on him, but did he not have any friends? Or was he just embarrassed to have them come here? Or maybe his friends’ parents wouldn’t allow their children to come play here. All three options stung.

  His laughter drifting from the family room eased some of the pain in my chest. We were happy just the two of us. We had been playing hot lava all day and laughing just as much as he and Detective Reed were. And I was a trooper because I felt like I was five seconds away from passing out.

  I set the table for three, which was a first in this house. I tried to ignore the warning bells in my head. There was a detective in my home. One that seemed dead set on tying me to a crime I didn’t commit. So why did I feel excited? It had just been too long since I had been around a single man. That was all. But it didn’t stop me from tidying up the kitchen just a bit more.

  I started to remove the take-out containers from the bags Detective Reed had brought. My fingers wrapped around a bottle and I pulled it out. It was just a simple bottle of Nyquil, but when I looked down at it, I felt the oddest sensation overcome me. My whole body felt warm, but it wasn’t from my fever. He brought me Nyquil? I felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes. This morning Zeke had offered to make me pancakes. And now a complete stranger had brought me medicine for my cold? I wasn’t sure I had ever felt more loved in my entire life. I immediately shook away the thought. Love? Detective Reed was just trying to butter me up. But my mind couldn’t convince the rest of me. I felt…cared for.

  “I thought you’d appreciate that more than a bottle of wine tonight.”

  I looked up to see Detective Reed leaning against the doorjamb. His shirt was a little off-center and his hair was askew. Zeke had probably jumped on him at some point during the game. And his cheeks were slightly rosy either from how cold it was in here or because he had been running around. He had also ditched his shoes somewhere because he was in his socks. He looked so comfortable and at home. I had never seen a more handsome sight.

  “Yeah. Thanks.” I cleared my throat because the words had come out weird and squeaky. “Thank you, Detective Reed, I…”

  “Tucker.” He smiled, making his appearance that much more handsome. “I’m off duty.”

  “Tucker. Right.” I looked back down at the bottle. “I really appreciate this.” It was sweet and thoughtful. I sneezed.

  “Bless you. There’s actually a box of tissues in there too.”

  My knight in shining armor. I grabbed one of the tissues and blew my nose. When I lowered the tissue, Tucker’s smile looked even bigger. “What?” I touched my face, worried that I had just trailed snot everywhere.

  “You have a little grease spot right there.” He tapped his right cheek.

  I grabbed another tissue and mimicked him, wiping off my left cheek.

  He laughed. “No, opposite.”

  I could feel my face turning red as I wiped off the correct cheek. There was a lot of black residue on the tissue for it just being a tiny spot. My whole cheek was probably covered in grease. I continued to wipe it. “Is it gone yet?”

  “Yeah. You got it.” He cleared his throat and looked around the room. “Is your furnace in the basement? Just point me in the right direction, I should probably get started on it so you don’t have to sit here shivering while you’re sick.”

  “Let’s eat first, before it gets cold.” I gestured to the seat that was always empty at the kitchen island. For once in my life I was happy I loved to do everything in threes. Or else I wouldn’t have a seat for him.

  Tucker may have been expecting a romantic night for two, but an extra seat was all I had to offer him. I didn’t even have a dining room table. I also had a son that he hadn't known about. And I was sick. Yet Tucker was still looking at me with a smile on his face. Like somehow this was his idea of a perfect night regardless of the weird surprises. I looked away.

  “Zeke! It’s dinner time!”

  He came running into the room, sliding in his socks across the wooden floorboards. “You’re both dead. Which means I get dessert first.” He scrambled into his usual seat, the one in the middle, with a big smile on his face.

  I sat down on the other side of him. “Nope, we’re still alive.” I sneezed again. “Sick, but still breathing.”

  He sighed like that was the most disappointing thing in the world.

  I opened up the container closest to me and then closed it again. And opened it. And closed it. I started to do it one more time when Zeke put his hand on my wrist to stop me.

  “Mommy, you’re doing that thing again.”

  I pressed my lips together and set the container down. Normally I loved when he pulled me out of my funk. But in this one rare case, it felt like he had highlighted my issues to the whole world. I could feel Tucker staring at me, but I ignored it as best as I could. “Thanks, bug. You know what? You serve everyone.” I slid the contain
er toward him and handed him a serving spoon. “I’m going to have a bit of Nyquil.”

  I grabbed the bottle and turned my back to the two of them. Now I kind of wish he had brought a bottle of wine. Although, I hadn’t had a drink in ages. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a drink. There wasn’t any alcohol in the house. For all I knew, it would make my issues worse, not better. I twisted off the cap of Nyquil and took a huge sip instead of taking the time to measure it out. Hopefully this would at least help with my cold symptoms. I immediately sneezed after swallowing the sweet liquid. Ugh.

  The two of them laughing made me turn back around. They both had dessert on their plates instead of the delicious chicken parm Tucker had brought. But in their defense, they both had adorable grins on their face that made it impossible to reprimand them. Plus the dessert looked pretty amazing too. It was some kind of ooey-gooey chocolatey goodness that I definitely would have chosen myself.

  “You’re going to be up all night,” I said and kissed Zeke on the top of his head as I sat back down.

  “So? It’s a three day weekend!” He shoved a spoonful of dessert into his mouth.

  “Three day weekend?” Tucker asked. “I feel like kids get off for holidays I don’t even know about now. What is it this time? National Puppy Adoration Day?”

  Zeke shook his head. “No, I just earned it.

  Tucker moved his gaze to me but I looked away.

  “This looks amazing.” I grabbed the container of dessert and put some on my plate. “What is it?”

  “Chocolate bread pudding. I hope you like chocolate.”

  I took a bite and held back a moan. “It’s amazing.”

  “She loves chocolate,” Zeke said. “She has a whole drawer of it in her bedroom that I’m not supposed to eat.”

  Zeke. I didn’t even know that he knew about that. “It’s dark chocolate. You wouldn’t like it.” I tickled his side.

  His spoon clattered onto his plate as he fought a fit of giggles. “I love all chocolate too. Almost as much as hot lava! It’s your turn, Mommy.” He scooted off his chair.

 

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