Thump! A loud crash as a ball of fur and muscle slammed into the stone wall. Dust and pebbles rained from above Todd. Glancing down he couldn’t see Mark anywhere, but a puddle of red spread out from under the bear. The creature shook it’s head back and forth as it focused on burying its face into something. Looking back upwards, Todd tried to focus on climbing.
A roar from below, then the rope jerked. Reggie screamed out in pain. Todd gripped his rope tight and squeezed the tears from his eyes. He couldn’t block out the squishing sounds, nor the bubbling screams from below.
“Reggie!” Hunter called out above, Todd looked up to see a horrified expression on his friend’s face.
“Keep moving!” Todd called out.
Hunter resumed climbing. Her right foot slipped, the stone under her left foot fell, causing her to fall a few inches until she stopped her fall. She slid a few inches down, trails of crimson ran down the rope.
As if sensing the predicament, the bear below them roared and the rope jerked. Hunter reached a hand up but her blood slicked hand wasn’t able to hold onto the rope. As one hand slipped, the other held for a split second more before being jerked away.
Todd tried to reach a hand out to grab Hunter. She missed his hand but managed to grab a hold of his backpack.
Success! Physical Roll 5d10; 9, 9, 3, 8, 10. Four Successes; Skill Physical - Climbing gained 4 Experience.
Skill points to the next level, 5.
Todd gasped, not realizing he had been holding his breath, once she had a good grip on his pack. Looping his right hand and foot around the rope, he lowered his left towards his friend.
RIP! The stitching on the backpack started tearing. The strap came loose, the backpack now only held on by a single strap. Hunter swung below, yelling, “No!”
Reaching down, Todd grabbed Hunters hand as the other strap tore. Hunter swung into the cliff. Gripping his friends’ hand tight, Todd tried to pull her up.
Failure! Physical roll 4d10; 1, 4, 6, 1. Zero Successes; Skill Physical - Strength failed.
The tighter Todd held, the more Hunter seemed to slip from his fingers.
“No!” Todd screamed as her fingers slipped through his. Todd closed his eyes to avoid the sight of Hunter falling into the waiting maw of the bear. Her screams he couldn’t block out.
Success! Physical Roll 5d10; 1, 3, 7, 7, 9. Three Successes; Skill Physical - Climbing gained 3 Experience.
Skill points to the next level, 2.
Slowly Todd climbed up the rope until he got to where it was anchored. A dagger had been tied around the end of it. Somehow one of his friends had managed to wedge the dagger between some rocks when they tossed the rope up. Sitting on a small overhand, Todd pulled the rope up, the bottom five feet were shredded and coated in blood.
Todd leaned his head against the cliff and closed his eyes. Taking several deep breaths he tried to block out his friends deaths and rest a moment.
Success! Mental Roll 2d10; 8, 2. One Success; Skill Mental – Unconscious Awareness gained 1 Experience. Skill Mental – Unconscious Awareness has reached Rank 1! Skill points to next level, 10.
Suddenly awakened as he rolled over, Todd woke up lying on the ledge, his head looking straight down at the feasting bear. Jerking backwards, he pressed himself against the stone. Upward the cliff continued another twenty feet.
Swinging the knife end of the rope in a circle, Todd toss it up the cliff wall. The dagger hit some stones and came falling back down a few feet from Todd. Reeling in the rope, Todd tried again.
The fourth time, the dagger caught on something above and didn’t come down when the rope was tugged.
Success! Physical Roll 5d10; 5, 6, 4, 6, 10. One Success; Skill Physical - Climbing gained 1 Experience.
Skill points to the next level, 1.
Gripping the rope Todd put his weight on it. For a moment, it held, then something moved, the rope became slack. The dagger tumbled down, Todd watched it fall as he started to wind the rope.
Attack! 3 Damage from Falling Stone.
A large rock fell and smacked Todd on the back of the head. He dropped the rope and collapsed to the ground. His vision wavering as he tried to stay on the ledge. More smaller stones fell, none hit him.
Dust settled and Todd looked upwards. The cliff still stretched upwards. Below him, the bear paced, it’s black coat covered in dust and dirt. The rope, dagger, and his pack lay on the ground near the half eaten foot of Hunter.
“I fucking hate this game.” Todd said. Standing up and closing his eyes, he leaned backwards until he fell off the edge of the cliff.
His last thought was him hoping he managed to respawn with his friends.
The End.
This is the second version of the same story. Previously was the Crunchy version, which has notable game rolls and skill tests included in the text. This information is presented to the reader and immediately visible to the characters in the story.
The next pages reflect the Non-Crunchy version in which that information is ommitted. I hope one or both versions entertain you.
Non-Crunchy - Chapter 1
I Hate This System
Name: Todd Longfellow, Race: Human
Height: 5’6”, Weight: 130, Sex: Male
Archetype: None
HP: 4 / 4, Mana: 0 / 0
Stats:
Physical: 2, Moxie: 2, Spiritual: 2, Luck: 2
Agility: 2, Magic: 2, Mental: 2, Energy: 2.
Relevant Skills: Concentration - Contemplate Football, Knowledge - Lawyering Demonic, Physical - Weapon Flourish.
_________________
Bright light burrowed its way into Todd’s skull. ‘How much did I drink?’ Todd mumbled to himself as he slowly opened his eyes. None of the queasiness or thirst from a hangover. The feeling grass against his skin, cool soft earth against bare ass, and an open sky above greeted him.
‘Did I go streaking?’ Ran through his mind as he sat up and covered up his genitals. Something didn’t feel right, and Todd looked down. His hairy chest now wispy and with a few dark hairs. His tanned skin, now darker more bronze than he remembered. The scar from his appendix removal was also missing.
“The fuck!” a male voice said from behind Todd.
Todd turned toward the voice, a young naked man with both hands covering his groin, standing a few feet away Todd didn’t recognize where he was, in the middle of a clearing surrounded by trees. The faint rushing of water was off in the distance, like a stream. The white bark was unfamiliar.
Doing a double take of the stranger, who had same dark skin as what Todd now had. Muscle definition visible, similar to Todd’s football team mates. He guessed they were eighteen like Todd or maybe a few years older.
Glancing away to make sure his eyes didn’t noticeably linger, Todd glanced over the two other men and a young woman lying on the grass. All the guys almost looked the same, as if they were brothers or clones of each other, each with average physiques and wispy brown hair on their chests. The woman was in shape as well, breasts small mounds on her sleeping form. Looking away from the sleeping forms, he stood up and faced the stranger.
“Where am I?” Todd said, making sure his eyes were focused on the guy’s head which was a couple of inches higher than his. He focused on remembering football plays to distract himself: ‘Right 32b, QB fakes to RB, looks right, then throws left’.
“Fuckity fuck, fuck,” the man said, his head turning around quickly as if he was trying to look everywhere.
The phrasing reminded Todd of a friend. He focused on the stranger’s face. “Mark?” Todd said.
As soon as he said it, the stranger turned directly to Todd.
“Who are you? Where am I?” Mark said.
“It’s me, Todd,” Todd said. A shiver ran through him as he looked up into Mark’s eyes.
“Can’t be, he’s taller,” Mark said as he took a step backward and tripped over one of the other naked men. His hand went down to brace his fall, and he grabbed the man's right thigh.
“No, don’t touch me!” the figure called out. The newly awakened person started swinging his balled up hands. Hitting Mark repeatedly in the chest, a few hits even landing on Mark’s face.
“Fuck!” Mark yelled as he rolled away from the storm of fists.
“Where are my clothes? I swear to God I’m going to the cops, and they’ll listen this time.” The strange man stood up, fists at chest level, his nakedness forgotten.
“Dude, we’re all wondering the same,” Todd said, taking a step back and raising his hands in the air. “Todd, and he is Mark.” He pointed a thumb at himself, then a finger at Mark still lying on the ground.
“Lying won't keep you out of jail. Todd’s six-three louzer,” the guy said stringing out the word loser.
“Six-four,” Todd corrected, “Jax?” Todd lowered his hands and took a step forward.
“Believe it, Jax,” a female voice said a few feet from Todd. Todd turned around to see the naked woman, standing. Her skin was darker than everyone else, her features shapely, one arm covering her breasts, a mass of public hair covering the other bits. Todd looked her in the eyes and raised an eyebrow.
“Hunter you’re in this crazy dream?” Todd said.
“Well, if this is a dream, I wonder why I didn’t include some beer?”
“Prove you’re Hunter,” Mark said, slowly standing up and circling around Jax.
“Remember when I showed you the old TSR ‘Women of Fantasy’ calendar of my dad’s?”
“No fucking way,” Mark said. He glanced around, pausing to meet everyone's eyes. “What is the last thing people remember?”
“I remember being black. Seriously, what is going on?” another male voice said, stepping closer. Todd moved back a little to allow the new person a place in their circle.
“Reggie?” Todd said, glancing at the man; he was built the same as the other guys as well. They all could be brothers and sister.
“Yes. Can someone please explain what is going on?” Reggie said.
“Gonna sound crazy, but please allow me to finish,” Mark said, looking at everyone, meeting their eyes one by one. “I think we are in the game.”
“That’s impossible numbnuts,” Jax interrupted, and Mark held up a fist.
“One, Reggie is the same color as us.” Mark raised a finger with each point. “Two, Hunter is female. Three, Todd doesn’t tower over us. Four, I don’t need my glasses.”
“The fifth point?” Jax said. He relaxed and a hand moved to cover up his manhood.
“Don’t have one, at the moment.” Mark lowered his hand.
“Alright, joke is done, I need to go home.” Reggie glanced at everyone, his eyes lingering on Hunter before looking around the clearing.
“I don’t know how to do that. Fuck,” Mark shrugged. “but I’d end this if I could.”
Todd tried looking for the mountains, to get his bearings, at least he would know where east was. At the edge of the clearing, a pale old man with long white hair and a beard was walking towards them. He held a pitchfork in one hand and was dressed in worn leather pants and a jacket. No shirt was under the jacket, and little white hairs on his chest stuck out.
“Guys, someone is coming,” Todd pointed towards the approaching old man with one hand. He switched hands, covering with his left, leaving his right hand free if they were attacked.
The group immediately shut up and turned to stare at the old man. Each taking a stance similar to Todd as they waited for him to walk up to them.
“Greetings, my name is Sir Furcas,” the old man said. Mark and Todd stepped forward, standing between the group and the old man.
“Where are we?” Todd said. The old man smiled and cleared his throat. The sky darkened as if a thundercloud had rolled in. A shadow rolled through the clearing, as it hit Todd, he shivered..
“Once I shall speak, may too the truths be told, thrice you may beseech, go forth if you are bold. Five demands I’ll accept.”
A fire burned in the old man's eyes. His skin looked almost a dark red in the shadows. As he smiled, the sun reappeared and the world returned to normal. He held up his left hand with five fingers outstretched on it.
“Why can’t I remember anything?” Mark said.
“Alas, to prevent meta-gaming, each beginning, the memories of the previous sessions are withheld,” Furcas said. He held up a hand with only four fingers on it.
“Fuckity fuck,” Mark said.
“If that is the demand,” Furcas said, taking a step forward.
Mark shook his head and threw up both hands in front of him. Todd moved between them.
“How do we get back home and to our normal lives?” Todd said.
“Five weeks to the east, for if you are bold, three kings, you’ll seek, two have grown old; one is the ticket home,” Furcas said, lowering another finger.
Todd allowed the words to run around his head. Reviewing them over and over, working on some hidden meaning. Small amount of pressure behind his eyes. The feeling of being stupid, was replaced with anger.
“Can’t you just tell us in plain English and not some sing-songy crap that doesn’t even rhyme very well?” Todd said, taking a step toward the old man. Furcas lowered a finger and nodded his head.
“Is this a game, and what are the rules?” Mark said, taking a step forward.
“The game is the game you guys wanted to play. Character sheets will be provided, and you can choose your archetype, but skills you will have to gain in person.” Furcas lowered another finger, leaving one left. With his other hand, he cast it toward the grass in the middle of everyone. Five backpacks and five sheets of paper appeared on the ground.
“What do you mean by previous sessions?” Mark said after he glanced at the appearing backpacks.
“Each time you die, you are brought back here. Your memories are withheld until completion of the game.” Slowly, Furcas lowered the last finger and bowed to the group. “Good luck.” The old man turned around and started walking away.
Mark took a step toward him, but Todd placed a hand on his shoulder. Todd looked up into Mark’s eyes.
“I believe you now tell us everything you remember about the game,” Todd said.
Mark nodded his head and turned back toward the group. One of his hands resuming it’s place covering up his crotch.
“Remember a few months ago when I started talking about Skills, Archetypes, and Demons?” Mark waited for a couple of people to nod. “My complaint with other systems is I felt you shouldn’t magically gain power after killing someone or something. This system doesn’t reward killing; it rewards using skills. So, if you want to get better with a sword, you practice with it for hours and hours.”
“How many hours?” Hunter said. She stood near Mark and Todd, both arms wrapped around her chest covering up her breasts.
“Remember the adage it takes ten thousand hours to master a skill?” Mark said.
“I don’t want to be in here for years,” Todd scratched his chin after speaking, maintaining eye contact. “What about archetypes? Is it in the name—is that like classes?”
“Yeah, each archetype has a set of stats they are more apt to, like Fighter is Physical, Wizards are Mental.”
“Yeah, yeah, what does that mean? In game terms?”
“Game works on numbers of successes. Each roll you do, the successes matter. If your skill uses a favored attribute of your class, your success is any roll 7 or above. Non-favored attribute is a roll of 8 or above.”
“Guys, I think these bricks are edible!” Reggie said; he had been digging through the backpack as Todd and Mark were talking. Everyone else took a remaining pack and dug through it.
The leather packs were larger on the inside than they should have been. Each bag contained fifty feet of rope, some woolen clothes, seven little rectangle squares of dried fruit and oats that could double as bricks, two water skins, four torches, flint, and tinder. A sword held inside a wooden sheath was impossibly nestled in the bottom of Todd’s p
ack.
Todd grabbed the sword and pulled it out. Tossing the sheath aside, he held it up into the air.
“By the power of Greyskull!” Everyone laughed except Mark, who was staring at one of the sheets of paper.
Todd swung the sword around several times. It was heavy but not unwieldy. A scene from the movie ‘Willow’ came to mind. Todd tossed the blade, flinging the hint out and away from him.
The sword did a 360 in the air, and by some miracle, he caught the hilt.
“Holy fucking shit, guys! This was awesome, check it out!” Todd said, amazed he had caught the sword and repeating his actions, throwing the sword up with the hilt out, then as it did a three-sixty, reaching to grab the hilt.
Thump! Todd reached for the weapon a little too soon. The tip of the sword sliced deep into his wrist, lopping his hand completely off.
“AAAHHH!!!” he screamed.
Everyone else stood there unmoving, as blood pumped out of Todd’s arm. Todd stared at the stump as he screamed, more out of panic than pain. Modesty forgotten as he grabbed the bleeding limb and tried to stop the blood flow.
Highly Unbearable Page 4
