Instead, even though the thought disgusts me, I fill the vials with Constantine’s blood. It’s repulsive to even think about his blood circulating within her body, but if that is what it will take for her to come back to me… I am willing to do it. Constantine is dead. Her drinking my blood tethered her to me, but even if there is a tether between him and her, that fool of a vampire is dead.
Slowly, I make my way down to Romelia. My clothes are once again soaked with blood, now fresh, wet blood. Earlier, when I held her, my clothes had been dyed from the blood of vampires and werewolves alike.
Careful not to get any blood onto her wedding dress, I lift Romelia's head. Her head rolls toward me, and I expect and wait for her to open her eyes, but of course, she doesn't. She's not asleep, and she can't be woken. This isn't a nightmare. It's real life.
No. This is a living nightmare.
Although I have the vials of Constantine’s blood, I ignore them for now, instead forcing open Romelia’s mouth. Her fangs remain as sharp as ever, and I force her fang to pierce my wrist deeper than she ever bit me before.
Blood bubbles up from the wound, and I hold my wrist to her mouth, tilting her head back to allow the blood to fill her. I press against her throat to try to get her to swallow, but the blood just leaks out of the corners of her mouth.
In desperation, I try again, this time with Constantine's blood, but the end result is the same. No matter what I do, she isn't swallowing the blood. It's not working. Worse, it can't work.
Romelia truly is gone.
Her spirit is gone, not her body. Her mind is maybe sleeping. If we can bring her spirit back to her body, would that work? Would that save her mind? Or would she become some kind of zombie then? What else can I try, though? I need to talk to someone who is smarter than I am, someone with knowledge about demons and living vampires.
Is it even possible for her to be saved? Is this just a pointless, useless, wasted measure? As much as I love Romelia and can’t imagine a life without her, would she want me to spend my years trying to find a way to bring her back?
Years. That’s far too long, unfathomable really. I can’t go years and years without her. I’m not even certain I can go an entire day without her. If there is a way to bring her back, I have to find it and sooner rather than later. Otherwise, the chances of being able to save her become zero.
And that’s if the chances aren’t already zero.
“Romelia…”
As before, I cradle her to me. The blood I tried to give her, to bring her back to life dribbles out of her mouth, and I make sure to get the liquid on me so that she remains as pure as possible.
“I miss you so much already. I know that we agreed to part ways to try to save Mercy, and I hate that decision so very much. We should have tried to find a solution together. I never would’ve allowed you to take a potion to have the ailment or whatever it is transferred to you. You… I wish you had asked me first. I know there might not have been time, and who knows? Maybe you did try to call me, but I didn’t answer. I… I tried, Romelia, but I didn’t get anywhere. Constantine was always there, a step ahead of me, but not anymore. Never again. He’s gone. Dead and gone.”
I caress her face as tears begin to fall.
“I hope… I really hope he’s wrong, that your spirit isn’t in Hell. You don’t belong there. It doesn’t matter if you’re part demon. You’re good and kind and perfect, so very perfect. I’m sure you would disagree with me, think I’m absurd for saying you’re perfect, but you are. You were perfect for me, too perfect for this world, and that’s why you were willing to risk your life for a werewolf, a werewolf you didn’t even know, for my friend who fought your friend. My friend who could have easily killed your friend.”
My breathing becomes ragged, and I choke back a sob.
"What if… What if by killing Constantine, I've sent him to you? Sent him to… I didn't think about that. I just… I wanted him gone, and I didn't think… It never crossed my mind that you wouldn't… that you would go to Hell. And he even told me before we fought, but. I still… If I sent him to you, I am so sorry. I will find a way to get you out of there. I promise. It might be the last thing I do…"
She wouldn’t want me to give up my life for her like this. I know that. Even if she’s the only one who matters to me, she would want me to focus on stopping the war first and foremost, but right now, I’m just worried about what she might be facing down in Hell.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I murmur, hugging her to me. I hate how lifeless she feels, how she doesn’t hold me back. “You’re my rock, and without you, I feel lost, but I will do what I can for you, and if there’s no way to bring you back… I will move on and try to stop the war, but I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you, though. Even after I die, I will love you. My love will never stop, never end.”
My eyes close, and I try to reach for her, not her physical body, but for the part of her that I heard in my mind, the voice of her, the conscience. She’s not here anymore. Deep down, I know that, but I also don’t want to admit defeat. I don’t want to accept the truth of the matter that not only is she gone, but I might have made things worse for her.
I’ve failed her in so many ways, and I don’t know if there’s a way she can ever return to me. I might have lost my chance to be with her, and yes, we loved for a lifetime, for many lifetimes in the short amount of time we had together. That love was real, and nothing and no one can ever take that away from me, but she’s gone. She’s really, truly gone, and my heart aches. I can’t accept that I made the wrong choice in leaving her to try to save Mercy. I made another wrong choice by fighting Constantine the first time and then going to see her father instead of trying to find her. Tyra came to me. She tried to tell me that Romelia was dying, but I was too blinded by the drive and the need to be a leader. To be Mr. Hero.
And I wasn’t the hero to the one who means the most to me.
Despite my best of intentions, I might have been a villain by sending the one she hates directly to her.
"Romelia, I love you. I will always love you. I'll honor you always, and I swear I will do what I can to stop the war, but I don't know if I can. Even so, I'll try. I'll be Mr. Hero if it's possible, but I need you to… Watch over me, and laugh at me for my mistakes. Don't judge me for my failings. Be there to help me when I stumble. Just love me. That's all I really need is for you to continue to love me. I know you do, that you will. I just wish I could hear you tell me I love you one more time.”
I pause, listening hard, straining to hear something with my ears and my mind. I even try to slow my breathing so I can hear even the faintest of whispers, but there’s no sound. No voice. Nothing at all.
There’s not even the peace I always feel when I’m with Romelia. I think that’s what I miss the most. I felt so at peace with her, so comfortable that I could be myself around her and know that she wouldn’t ever judge me. She wouldn’t leave me. Flaws and all, she accepted me, and as much as she used to tease me and call me Mr. Hero, that might be my biggest flaw. I have a hero complex. I want to be the one to stand up for what’s right, and I want to be the one to save the day to the point of ignoring whatever else is going on around me.
And in this case, by focusing on Constantine and the war, I neglected Romelia for the first and final time because she died. My love died, and I wasn’t there.
“Did you feel abandoned? Were you scared? I hope you weren’t. You were always so brave and strong, but even if you had been frightened, I wouldn’t blame you. You can only be strong for so long. I love your strength, but even more so, I love your heart. Romelia, be my moon. Shine down on me always, and we will never be far apart.”
I lean down and kiss her forehead before cradling her to my chest and making my way out of the crypt. I carry her up the stairs and out under the moonlight.
If there's a way to reunite Romelia's body with her consciousness, with her spirit, I will find a way.
If there isn’t…
/>
Chapter 21
Romelia
There’s no bright white light. There’s nothing at all. One minute, I’m alive, and the next, I’m dead. I’m not breathing, and I can feel myself leave my body behind, yet when I’m next aware, I have a body again. There’s still blood all over me, and my wounds haven’t healed any, but I’m not seizing or vomiting, and I feel no pain.
In fact, I feel nothing at all.
Nothing, that is, until I look around me and realize that all I can see is red-hot rock and rivers of lava, and the heat is so immense that I try to curl up and shrink, wishing almost for a turtle shell.
Or Julian. I wish for Julian, for his arms to hold me and protect me from the fire all around me.
Hellfire.
I’m in Hell.
Of course I am. I’m part demon after all.
But I don’t feel fear, not because of my location. No, I feel love for Julian, of course, but I also feel sorrow and grief. I’ve lost him, my dear werewolf, my husband. We had been robbed of a long, happy life together. Our future… We never had set plans beyond getting married, and maybe this is why I never did figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Maybe deep down, I feared I wouldn’t live long enough to have my plans come to fruition.
“Julian,” I breathe.
A large bubble of lava pops, and red droplets spray everywhere. I’m on a boulder overlooking the lava rivers that all congeal together to form a lava pond. Several rocks float in the lava.
Behind me is a caved entrance to… where exactly I don't know, but I don't leave this spot. Maybe if I stay here, I can figure out a way back to Julian or, at the very least, a way for me to be able to see him. Yes, if I can just see him, if I can know he's all right, maybe then I can accept my fate down here. I just wish it wasn't so hot down here. Heat and fire and vampires really don't mix.
“Romelia Covenshade! By the moon, I thought it was you, but I’ll be. Let me see you!”
I still, frozen, immobile like a statue. That voice… It sounds exactly like Father, but it can’t be. Father isn’t dead.
My head slowly turns, and the demon heading straight for me has Father’s black hair and red eyes. They aren’t identical, no, but they look so much alike that they have to be brothers.
Which would make this mystery man my…
“Uncle?” I ask dubiously.
He halts a few feet from me. “Your father never told you about me, did he? That’s Magmar all right. Doesn’t surprise me in the least. After all, the demonic bastard did kill me. Oh, yes, his own flesh and blood and horns and all.”
“Horns?” I ask. “Father doesn’t—”
"He hides them in his hair, and he files them down, or else he figured out a way to retract them like his claws and fangs. But enough about me! No, not yet. I haven't even told you my name yet! Forgive me, Romelia. I am Argon. Argon Shade. It's so very nice to finally meet you in person. Well, in spirit, but you know what I mean, don't you?" He laughs before taking a step forward, his arms outstretched.
I make no move to accept his embrace.
He waves his hands. “Of course. I’m sorry. Just a bit excited, is all. It’s not every day that a demon has a relative join him down here. Not too many demons are trapped down here. There are some who can come and go to Earth as often as they please, but for me, in my case…” My uncle shrugs and holds out his hands. “Nothing much can be done. I’m stuck here.”
My stomach churns. I’m stuck here too. Any other place would be preferable to this. Hell. I’m in Hell.
“So,” Uncle Argon says, “tell me all about yourself.”
“There’s not much to tell.”
He tilts his head to the side. “Oh, I doubt that,” he says dryly. “I know only a bit about you. Care to fill in the gaps?”
“Uncle, I’m not really up much for talking.”
“Of course, of course. You did just die. It must be an adjustment to be here, but it couldn’t have come as much of a shock, though, right?”
I gape at him.
“You are shocked. And you didn’t even know about your father’s horns. You don’t seem to have much of a grasp on anything demonic. Don’t tell me… Did Magmar not teach you our abilities?”
I shake my head emphatically. “No.”
"No? Not one?" His jaw drops, and he grabs his horns. "That's preposterous! How could he have done that? There are so many things that a demon can do, that you can do even though you don't have a demon mother. Well, actually, I did meet your mother before your father killed me, and she is the most demonic vampire I have ever met. Is she still as wicked as she used to be?"
“She’s not,” I say. “At least I don’t think she is. I know that she killed a lot of…” I swallow hard. “A lot of werewolves.”
“There’s something there,” my uncle says, eyeing me critically. “I won’t pry. Your old life—”
“It’s not my old life,” I say hotly.
“Ah, now there’s a bit of life in you after all. I must say that I’m glad you aren’t wailing or gnashing your teeth or ripping out your hair. When some people show up here, they don’t take it too well, especially if they thought Hell didn’t exist or that they could never come here. You’re handling this all very well.”
I blow out a breath. “Not really. Not at all. I just… I left behind people I care about deeply, and I…”
“Not your parents.”
“No! My friends… my husband.”
“You’re so young to be married!”
“Love doesn’t require you to live a certain number of years. Yes, I found love, and I married him, and it didn’t matter to me one bit that he’s a werewolf.”
“You married a werewolf,” he says slowly.
“Yes, and I died because of helping another werewolf.”
“You really don’t subscribe to being either a vampire or a demon, do you?”
“I am what I am, but… No. I don’t like to drink from the vein, and I learned no demon abilities, and I… I guess you can say I am a little bit manipulative because I did purposely fail courses so I can go to summer school over the break between years of study at Blood Haven. It was the easiest way to ensure I could spend more time with Julian.”
“You really did love him,” my uncle says slowly.
“I really do,” I stress.
He chuckles and nods. "I envy you that. I really do. I never married personally. I thought I loved a demon. After all, she was beautiful, ruthless, cunning… She conned me. Took me and left me for dead. This was a few centuries before I actually did die. After her, I never recovered. I never trusted another female again."
“You seem to trust me just fine,” I say.
“You’re family.”
“Your own brother killed you.”
My uncle appraises me and slowly smiles. “You aren’t anything like him at all.” Without warning, he claps. “I will teach you,” he says, sounding almost giddy. “Let’s see… I’ll teach you teleportation, transformation, drain life, psychokinesis, and pyrokinesis.”
I gape at him. Honestly, all of this is so very surreal. It doesn’t seem real. Is this some kind of nightmare? That I’m stuck in Hell? Maybe I didn’t actually die, and I’m in a coma.
“No, my dear. You died. This is very much real,” my uncle says gently.
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re too nice to be here.”
He barks out a laugh. "No. Not so. I deserve to be here. Maybe not to have been murdered by my brother, but then again, life doesn't always go as planned. I've spent a lot of time here, too much time, and this place, it will change you."
“He murdered you,” I repeat slowly. “Why didn’t you turn into a ghost?”
“Not every murder victim becomes a ghost,” he states. “Now, are you ready to start to learn?”
I just shake my head. “I never learned about… Drain life? That sounds absolutely terrible.”
“Who knows? That might have saved you,” he says simply.
“But—”
“You were under the effects of reanimation, weren’t you?”
"Were you spying on me?" I ask suspiciously, and then my eyes open with relief. "Can I see those I left behind? Julian? Tyra? Mercy?"
My uncle says nothing, and I'm left wondering if that means you have to earn the right to see those on Earth, and if that's the case, you'll most likely have to do something dark in order to have a wish granted here in Hell. You'll have to do some kind of twisted favor most likely, and I don't know if I will be willing to pay that price. The darker things I do, the more entrenched in Hell I'll become until maybe there will be no way for me to leave this Godforsaken place.
My uncle eyes me, waiting, and I nod. “Yes, the effects of reanimation killed me.”
“Because you weren’t first already dead. Your body was trying to become reanimated, but you have to be dead. That’s why you died, but if you had drained life… The opposite of death is life, after all.”
“Why do you want to teach me anything?” I ask, trying not to be suspicious. “You seem to know so much about me, but I… I didn’t even know you ever existed.”
“I’m stuck here. Teaching you will help to pass the time, and besides, you deserve to have a teacher who will listen to you and take what you want to learn into consideration. I’m willing to bet my brother never gave you much of a choice.”
“Considering he never taught me anything…” I grin.
“I do admire your courage and your spunk. Standing up to him couldn’t have been easy.”
"No," I murmur, "but he would threaten me, and then nothing ever came about it. Maybe he did care for me in his own way."
“I doubt that, but if that helps you, continue to believe it.” My uncle scowls. “Magmar liked to keep to the shadows, affecting things right under people’s noses, pulling strings, trying to manipulate people into doing his bidding. If he didn’t directly affect you, then he affected those around you to complete certain tasks or acts that would affect you. His reach is long, very long, but it does not extend here. I am not going to teach you this because your father wanted you to learn how to become a demon. I am going to teach you so that no one here can try to take advantage of you. Hell is a dangerous place, very dangerous, and just because you’re already dead doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain. It doesn’t mean you’re protected in any fashion, and there are times when you might wish that you can die all over again.”
Blood Haven: Year Three: A Mayhem of Magic World Story Page 13
