by A. M. Myers
“Goddamn it, we have to be careful here. Rodriguez may be a friend but he’s a good cop, and he won’t protect you if shit goes down.”
I nod. “I know. But I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I have to do to protect my woman. This shit is not happening again.”
He studies me and I see the moment it clicks, the moment he realizes that I’m living a nightmare all over again, and he nods. “Understood, but we discuss it here before you do anything.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Alison
Dear Alison,
I’ve been seeing this guy for a little while, and I’m really into him but I can’t tell if he feels the same about me. He’s hot and cold, there one minute and gone the next like I mean nothing to him. I really want to be with him but I don’t want to waste my time or get my heart broken. What should I do?
Dazed and Confused
Did I write a letter to myself in my sleep or something? Jeez, it’s like someone plucked these exact thoughts from my head. Tossing the letter down on my desk, I sigh. It’s been over a week since I’ve seen Logan, and I never expected it to hit me this hard. Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and push those thoughts down. It won’t do me any good to wallow in this, and I just keep telling myself that there’s a reason for everything even if I’m not sure that I really believe that.
Sighing, I pull up a Word document and look over at the letter on my desk as I formulate a response in my head. Once I have a pretty good feel for where I’m going with this, I start typing.
Dear Dazed and Confused,
It’s been my experience that guys are usually pretty direct when it comes to what they want. If this guy truly wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t be writing me this letter. I know that kind of sucks, and I’m sorry that I don’t have a better answer for you but he’s showing you through his actions what he refuses to say out loud. And I think a part of you already knew that. You shouldn’t let this hurt you though. Just think, there’s probably some guy out there looking for you and he just doesn’t know it yet. There’s got to be more out there than being someone’s second or third priority. Hold on and have faith that when the time is right, he’ll find you and you won’t have to doubt how he feels because it will shine through in everything he does.
Sincerely,
Alison
I reread through my response several times before looking back over at the letter. It’s funny how I can give my readers such sound advice when my own love life is a complete mess. How can I expect people to listen to me when I can’t even take my own advice? Because if I did, it would stop hurting so damn bad that Logan just up and left my life without a word.
“Ali, there’s someone at the front desk for you,” Margie, our receptionist, says over the intercom, and I lean across the desk, pushing the button to respond.
“Thanks, Margie. I’ll be up in a second.”
I make sure to save my Word document and just as I’m standing to leave, Carly walks into my office with a smile on her face.
“Lunch today? We could try that new Mexican place down the street.”
My stomach growls on cue, and I nod. “Yes. That sounds amazing.”
“Okay, just let me finish something real quick and then we can go.”
I grab my bag off of the floor. “Actually, I have to go up to reception so I’ll just meet you there.”
She nods and heads back to her office as I look back at my desk, grabbing my phone before walking out and heading to reception. I can’t help but smile when I look at everyone running around working. They all seem so happy, and it’s such a contrast from the paper that it still surprises me at times. And even though things didn’t work out in my personal life, I’m still happy with this change.
As I step around the corner, the smile on my face slowly drains away, and my heart pounds in my chest. Logan is leaning up against the reception desk, talking to Margie. She says something, and he laughs, laying the charm on thick, and my stomach twists. Seriously? He disappears for over a week without a single goddamn word, and then he shows up here and flirts with Margie? I don’t want him here because even just looking at him hurts me.
I don’t want to love the way his jeans hug his hips or the perfect way his cut hangs off his shoulders. Envisioning walking up to him, grabbing the leather in my hands, and pulling him to me is a sure-fire path to disaster. And yet, here I stand, doing just that as my chest aches.
“What the fuck?” Carly hisses in my ear as she comes up behind me, and I nod in agreement. What the fuck, indeed.
“My thoughts exactly,” I whisper back and resist the urge to run back to my office and lock the door. Let’s be honest, he’d probably just follow me and make a scene. He turns to us and as soon as he sees me, his smile brightens, and his eyes warm, trailing down my body as he takes a step toward me, almost like he can’t stop himself. I shouldn’t let it get to me but the way he looks at me does all sorts of things to my traitorous body. I want to jump in his arms and slap the shit out of him all at the same time.
“Hey, Baby,” he says, smiling like he has every right to call me that.
“What did I tell you about that word?”
His brow furrows, and his smile drops a little. “What? Baby?”
“That’s the one,” I say, nodding, and he pushes off the counter, standing tall as he studies me.
“I thought we cleared this up already.”
I can hear his words in my head, telling me that I was his and he was mine. I loved that; loved the way that it felt to have someone I could call mine. “That was before you turned into Houdini.”
Sighing, he looks over at Margie, who is enthralled by our little display, before turning back to me. “Can we talk in private?”
“No.”
“Ali, please,” he pleads, and for a moment, I see Logan peeking through the Storm façade. It breaks me and I sigh, looking back at Carly. She’s glaring at Logan, and I wonder when she changed her mind about him.
“Outside,” I snap, pointing to the glass doors that lead out to the sidewalk, and he nods, following behind me. When we get outside, I pull my sweater tighter around my body and look back into the office. Carly hasn’t moved an inch, still shooting daggers at Logan and now Mercedes has joined the viewing party.
“What are you doing here, Storm?”
He shoves his hands in his pockets, and I’m glad because one touch and I’d be in danger of giving in to him. “Don’t do that.”
There is so much I want to say to him right now. I’d love to just start screaming at him; tell him how much he hurt me even if I was a little reckless with my heart when it came to him. But, I don’t say any of that because the only thing worse than him hurting me is him knowing how much he hurt me.
“What are you doing here?”
He opens his mouth and shuts it again, searching my face as he tries to grasp on to something to say to persuade me. “I want to take you to lunch.”
“Not interested,” I shoot back, turning to walk back inside, and he grabs onto my arm.
“Alison.”
I whip back around, letting him see just how fucking angry I am. “What? Where have you been for the last week, Storm?”
“Stop calling me that,” he growls, pulling me into his body and sliding a hand into my hair. It feels too good to be good for me. “Logan. You and only you call me Logan.”
“Where have you been for the past week, Logan?”
His grip loosens but he doesn’t release me. “I’ve been busy.”
“Bullshit.” My answer is immediate and resounding in the space between us. “Let me go.”
“No,” he says, locking eyes with me, and we’re in a battle of wills. He’s not willing to let me go, and I don’t want to stay.
“You remember when I told you that I didn’t want to play games?”
He nods.
“This is exactly what I was talking about. One minute, you’re here and the next, you’re gone without a word. Where were you all
week?”
He grits his teeth, not taking his eyes off mine as he says, “Busy.”
“And that prevented you from texting me?”
He doesn’t say a word, only dropping his gaze from my eyes to my lips.
“You couldn’t find five minutes in your day to just run next door and say hi to me so I would know that you meant all the shit that’s coming out of your mouth?”
He looks up, his turbulent gray eyes meeting mine, and just like that, everything inside me wants to lose myself in him. “If I talked to you or spent five minutes with you, it would just make it harder to stay away, and there was shit I had to do.”
“Bullshit,” I say again, and his grip tightens, pulling me in, but he doesn’t say anything because we both know I’m right.
“Tell you what, Storm,” I sneer, tears threatening to fall. I fucking hate that he keeps making me cry. “Why don’t you come find me when you’re ready to get real. Until then, I’m fucking done.”
He releases his grip on me, and I despise the fact that it hurts when he lets me go. Without a word, I turn and march back into the office where Carly envelops me in a hug.
“So, totally a bad time, I know, but who is that yummy man out there?” Mercedes asks, and I laugh through my anger.
“Uh, that would be Logan. You’ve met him before, right? The day he came looking for me?”
She shakes her head. “No, Honey. I definitely would have remembered him.”
I scowl and look behind me where Logan is still staring at me through the glass. Carly nudges me, and I turn back to look at her.
“Let’s just order the really yummy soup from the place next door,” she offers, and I force a smile to my face as I nod.
“Is he still out there?”
She looks behind us and nods. “Yeah, he is. By the way, I’m totally on your side now.”
It’s so ridiculous that I just start laughing, and she grins at me as she hooks her arm over my shoulder and leads me away from the door to my office. She closes the door behind her when we get inside, and I sit down on the couch Mercedes insisted I needed.
“I’m so stupid, Car,” I sigh, and she spins to me, her phone in her hand, and a shocked expression on her face.
“What? No, you’re not.”
“I met him three weeks ago. Only three weeks and I was thinking there was something serious between us. I’m an idiot.”
Her gaze softens, and she sinks down into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “You can’t control your heart, Ali. Three weeks or three years – no one can tell you how quickly you’ll fall for someone. And for the record, I think there is something real between the two of you but he’s an idiot.”
I sniff, wiping away a tear as I crack a tiny smile. “Thank you.”
“What are friends for?” She shrugs before turning her attention back to her phone to order our food. I stare out the window and wonder if he’s still out there. There was something different about him today. He seemed freer than before, like maybe the things that were holding him back have finally released him. I shake my head and sigh. I can’t think like that. It’s a guaranteed way to make sure my heart gets broken into a million little pieces.
“You okay, Hon?” Carly asks, looking up from her phone, and I lift my head and nod at her.
“Yeah, I’ll be all right.”
“Is it wrong to say that I’m still kind of hoping that he pulls his shit together?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, you go ahead and hope for the both of us because I can’t.”
“Done and food will be here in fifteen.”
I nod and start to ask her a question when someone knocks on the door. I call for them to come in, and Margie appears in the doorway holding a single rose in a vase and a teddy bear.
“Someone’s popular today,” she says, and I force a smile. She sets it down on my desk and hands me a card before leaving. I look up at Carly and then down to the card in my hand.
“Doesn’t really seem like Logan’s style,” she says, eyeing the flower and teddy bear.
“No, it doesn’t.”
She meets my eyes before looking down at the card that I’d honestly forgotten I was holding. “Well, open it.”
I glance down and flip the card over, sliding my finger under the flap, and it comes apart easily. On the front of the card is a bear just like the one sitting on my desk with a little speech bubble that says, “I love you beary much.” Uneasiness washes over me, and I look up at Carly.
“What does it say?” she asks, looking as weirded out as I feel. I open the card and read it to myself.
Alison,
I wanted to say congratulations on the column. I’ve read every single one, and as predicted, you are brilliant. But you already knew that. My sweet Ali, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to see you, and the only comfort I’ve had is your beautiful words. Why are you hiding from me? You wouldn’t even believe how much I miss you. I hope you like the bear and the flower, and I hope they serve as reminders of me while you’re hard at work until I see you again, my love.
See you in my dreams, Sweetheart.
Chris
My stomach rolls as I pass the card to her with shaky hands, trying to process what the hell I just read. I’m officially weirded out by this Chris guy, and I don’t understand what he wrote at all. He talks like we’re in a relationship and I’ve been ignoring him for work. He talks like he knows me intimately. A shiver works its way down my spine, and I kind of feel like I’m going to be sick.
“You dating someone else I don’t know about?” Carly asks, looking up at me when she finishes reading, and I shake my head. “Hey, wait… Chris – isn’t that the same guy that sent you the letter and called into the radio show?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
She hands me back the card, and I look at the flower and teddy bear on my desk, baffled.
“What should I do?”
She looks over the things on my desk before grabbing the vase and teddy bear. She drops them in my trashcan and takes the card from me and slips it into the paper shredder. “Ignore him. When you don’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll go away.”
I nod, hoping she’s right.
* * * *
The doorbell rings just as I’m settling in for some trashy TV with a big glass of wine, and I sigh, looking over at the door as I consider just ignoring it. After everything that happened today, I don’t want to deal with anything else except whatever is making Kim Kardashian ugly cry this week. Whoever is on the other side is persistent, though, and they ring the bell again before knocking a few times. Setting my glass down on the coffee table, I climb off the couch and march over to the door, determined to get them out of here as soon as possible. As soon as I fling open the door, I groan in annoyance.
“I’m really not in the mood to do this with you again, Logan.”
He steps past me without waiting for an invitation, and all my hopes of going back to my comfy spot on the couch die. “Too bad. We need to talk.”
“No, we really don’t,” I say, even though I’m closing the door.
Instead of responding, he reaches out and wraps an arm around my waist before pulling me into him, hard. I collide with his body, and my eyes close, not willing to give away how good it feels to be in his arms again.
“Open your eyes,” he rasps, and I’m powerless to deny him. My eyes blink open, and he stares down at me, all his intensity focused on me. “You are mine, Ali. From the very fucking moment I laid eyes on you, you’ve been mine. I’ll explain everything to you but it doesn’t change that fact.”
“We’ll see.”
“No, we won’t. You can run all across this world and I’ll burn it down looking for you. This is fucking real, and I’m done avoiding it.”
I narrow my eyes at him, studying the way he’s looking at me and looking for any sign of deception. “I don’t believe you.”
“Yes, you do. Look in my eyes, Ali. You own me
. Can’t you see that?”
I shake my head, pushing away from him, and he releases me. “I thought I saw a lot of things that weren’t true.”
“Don’t do that. I fucking know I screwed up before but I’m being real with you now.”
I look away from him to the door before reaching over and opening it again. “I want you to leave.”
“No.” He seems to grow even taller than he already is, and I can see that he won’t leave until he’s talked to me. Slamming the door, I march over to the couch and sit down, taking a sip of my wine.
“Fine. Talk, then.”
He sits down next to me on the couch, and just as I set my wine back on the coffee table, he grabs my wrist and pulls me into his lap so I’m straddling him. I open my mouth to yell at him when his hand smacks against the side of my ass.
“Stop being a brat and listen.”
I’m stunned speechless as he wraps his arms around my back, holding me firm on his lap. He hesitates for a moment before meeting my eyes and clearing his throat. “When I met you, I was in a fucking bad place.”
Pain floods his eyes, and it’s obvious that this is hard for him to say. Something deep down inside me wants to comfort him. I reach out, placing my hand on his chest, right by his heart, and he lets out a relieved breath.
“My life was so dark and bleak for so long, and I’d accepted that. I’d become accustomed to living my life like that but then Bear got out of the yard and found you.”
He grins, and I fight back a smile of my own as I remember that day.
“You hit me like a ton of bricks the moment I looked into your eyes. You came out of nowhere, and I wasn’t ready for it. I don’t deserve you but I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“Why?” I whisper. He looks away, blowing out a breath before focusing back on me, the pain in his eyes so fresh and so potent that my own chest aches.
“It’s been so long since I’ve done this – been in a relationship. The last time was six years ago, and when it ended, I was destroyed.”
