by A. M. Myers
The thing about pain is it makes you look inward, face some truths about yourself that you’d been avoiding and Chance breaking my heart revealed some things I had been hiding from for a very long time. Deep down, under the tragedy of my past and the layer of protection I had surrounded myself with, is someone who truly does want everything Chance offered to me. He’s changed me and there is no way I could ever go back to sleeping around like I did before. Which, if I’m honest with myself, never really worked for me anyway.
* * * *
“Carly,” Ivy calls out, standing from her table near the back wall of the restaurant and waving at me. Offering her a smile, I weave through the tables and wrap my arm around her in a quick hug before slipping into my seat.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” our waitress says, materializing out of nowhere with a wide smile and a notepad in her hand. “What can I get started for y’all today?”
Ivy orders her drink and meal before the waitress turns to me. I glance down at the menu that I haven’t even had a chance to open. I guess it’s a good thing we have the whole thing memorized.
“I’ll get a BLT with fries and a sweet tea.”
The waitress scribbles down our orders, flashing us another smile before she bustles back to the kitchen. I turn to Ivy, trying my best to maintain a happy demeanor so she won’t ask what’s wrong with me. It took twenty minutes and an ice pack on my face just to reduce the puffiness around my eyes from crying and if I let my mind wander to him, I’ll be right back in the same spot. It does occur to me though that the last time I was in this restaurant, I had just met him and in a way, it seems fitting I come here now that things are over. Although, I may never be able to walk in here without thinking of him or anywhere else, for that matter.
“Wow, you know what I just realized?” I ask her and she shakes her head. “You got here early. It’s the end of days, isn’t it? Do I need to look outside for flying pigs?”
“Ha ha, very funny,” she sneers, crinkling her nose at me and I laugh. “I forgot what a pain in the ass you are.”
“See, that wouldn’t have happened if you had shown up to Sunday dinner at any point in the past month.”
“It has not been a month,” she objects, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve only missed two.”
The waitress stops by our table with our drinks and I smile up at her before turning my attention back to my sister. “And how many times in the last ten years have you missed dinner?”
“Just those two.”
I nod. “My point, exactly.”
She sighs, rolling her eyes at me before meeting my stare. “Oh, whatever. It was just two dinners and I won’t be missing any more.”
“Care to share what’s been keeping you away from Aunt Dottie’s cooking? Are you still mad at her?”
“No,” she says, shaking her head.
“Vi…”
Shaking her head, she grabs her tea and takes a sip. “No, it’s really not that. Julian has just been super busy helping his dad with campaign stuff and he text me at the last minute to tell me he wasn’t going to make it.”
“Then why didn’t you just come?”
She lets out a sardonic laugh. “Yeah, right. Like I could show up without Julian after everything with Dottie. Besides, maybe I was still a little mad at her.”
“That’s it?”
“Yep,” she says and something about the tone of her voice doesn’t sit right with me.
“What’s with the radio silence then?”
She fidgets in her seat, refusing to meet my gaze as she plays with her nails and I arch a brow, continuing to watch her. God, she’s such a terrible liar. Once when we were kids, she broke a cup and all Dad had to do to break her was ask us who did it. She started crying and apologizing until Dad scooped her up in his arms and told her it was all right.
“I’ve just been busy,” she says, still refusing to look at me.
“With what?”
She shrugs. “Uh… just stuff.”
“Vi, do I have to remind you of the cup incident? You can’t lie to save your life so how about you just tell me what’s going on?”
“Well,” she mutters, glancing up at me with a sigh. “There is something I need to tell you, but I’m worried about how you’re going to take it.”
She nervously pulls down the sleeve of her sweater, distracting me, and I tilt my head to the side.
“How in the hell are you wearing that? It’s like ninety degrees today.”
Her shoulders rise in another shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I was just cold.”
“Do you need to go to the doctor?” I ask, reaching across the table and pressing my fingers to her forehead. She brushes my hand away and shakes her head.
“Stop it. I’m fine. I know you guys have been worried about me, but I promise I’m really okay.”
I hold up my hands in surrender as I relax back into my chair. “Okay. What do you have to tell me then?”
Ivy fidgets some more in her seat, playing with the hem of her sleeve.
“Out with it, Sweetie,” I prompt, my own nerves amped up by hers. What on earth could she possibly have to tell me? Of course, with her tendency to over exaggerate, it could be the most mundane thing that she has to hype herself up to tell me.
“Julian and I are engaged.”
My mind is painfully blank and as I stare at her, she raises her left hand, flashing me the giant rock she somehow managed to hide up until this point. She watches me eagerly, waiting for my reply, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t think of anything to say. There is a part of me that can’t stop screaming Chance’s name right now, my chest aching fiercely while I battle to push those feelings down. Besides the fact that I’ve yet to meet this man, I have no reason to believe this is anything but happy news, but warning bells are sounding in my head.
“Will you say something, please?” Ivy asks, her voice shaking and I open my mouth before snapping it shut again.
“I’m really not sure what to say.”
Tears well up in her eyes and I feel terrible for hurting her. That was never my intention but I’m having trouble ignoring the little voice in my head, telling me something isn’t adding up here.
“Anything. I just want to know what you think. Please,” she pleads and my eyes burn with tears of my own.
“I think I haven’t met him, so I can’t really tell you how I feel about this. Maybe it’s the best thing for you or maybe it’s not – I don’t know.”
She blows out a breath as she stares up at the ceiling, trying to dry her tears. “I understand but can you, at least, believe me when I say I’ve never been happier? That I love him so much and I’m so excited to spend my life with him.”
“I’m really trying, Vi.”
“I know you haven’t gotten a chance to meet him, but I promise you that you’ll love him. I’m really happy, Car, please just trust that.”
“Look, I’m not writing him off but I’m not welcoming him into the family either and I think that’s the best you can expect until I meet the man. This has all happened so fast and it seems weird to me that meeting your family isn’t important to him.”
Shaking her head, she reaches across the table and lays her hand on mine. “No, it is really important to him. He’s just been so…”
“Busy,” I say, cutting her off. “Yes, you’ve mentioned that. What I’m saying is that we make time for the things that are important to us, no matter how busy we are.”
“It’s not like that, Car. I promise. This campaign stuff is just so much work. Hell, I barely see him right now.”
Yeah, like that’s supposed to help convince me. I don’t know what it is yet, but something isn’t right here.
“That doesn’t sound any better.”
I start to pull my hand away, but she grips it tighter, refusing to let me go. “Please, just give him a chance. I’ll talk him into taking a night off this week and we can grab dinner with Aunt Dottie, too.”
Glanc
ing down at her hand, I’m about to respond when something just under her sleeve catches my eye. It’s a slight discoloration to her skin and when it clicks in my mind, I gasp, grabbing her arm, and yanking her sleeve back to reveal the bruise just above her wrist.
“What the fuck is that?” I hiss, anger and this deep aching sorrow battling for space in my mind. She tries pulling her arm back, but I don’t let her.
“It’s not what you think.”
Yeah, right.
“Why don’t you tell me what it is and we’ll see if I’m right.”
She shrugs, looking down at the table. “I was being clumsy and I slipped. Julian grabbed me, but he grabbed me a little too hard.”
“Bull. Shit.”
Her head whips up and she glares at me, ripping her arm out of my grasp. “Whether you believe it or not, that is what happened. I’ll text you about dinner.”
Before I can say anything, she grabs her bag and pushes out of her chair, storming out of the restaurant without once looking back. When she steps outside, I lean back in my chair and try to fight back the tears. I know now. Something is seriously wrong here and the only thing stronger than my heartache over Chance is my concern for my baby sister.
Chapter Twenty
Carly
“Dottie?” I call, stepping into her house with the smell of cinnamon rolls greeting me and I close my eyes, breathing it in for a moment as a feeling of calm washes over me. I remember when we were little and Aunt Dottie used to make us cinnamon rolls for our birthdays. It’s what I need after a hellacious few days.
“Well, this is a surprise,” Dottie says, poking her head around the wall to the kitchen with a smile on her face. “What brings you by? And shouldn’t you be at work?”
I nod. “Yeah, but I kind of needed a personal day.”
With a frown on her face, she studies me for a moment before nodding to the kitchen table. “Have a seat, dear. I’ll get us some coffee and rolls.”
As I sink into the chair and wait for her, I let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to diminish this headache. Although, if the three aspirin I took earlier didn’t help, I doubt anything will. The past two days have felt like weeks and I’m so incredibly lost. The bruise I saw on Ivy’s arm has been haunting me and I don’t know what to do to help her. There is a very large part of me that wants to rush in and drag her away from him kicking and screaming even when, rationally, I know it wouldn’t work for long. Before I could even relax, she would be back in his arms and I might just lose her forever.
Even though worrying about my sister has taken up most of my time, thoughts of Chance have managed to sneak in a time or two. And each time, it feels just as fresh as it did when I walked out of that bathroom. Of course, it doesn’t help that he hasn’t stopped coming around. I don’t know how many more times I can listen to him say that he wants me and he’s not going anywhere before I explode. Honestly, I just don’t understand. He’s married – why on earth is he still doing this? It doesn’t make any sense at all and I’m questioning everything that happened. Not that I’ll ever get any answers because I’ve vowed to stay away from him. If the past few weeks are any indication, I have absolutely no willpower around the man.
“Here you go, sweetie,” Dottie says, bustling into the dining room with a full tray in her hands. She sets it down between us and passes me a coffee and cinnamon roll before taking her own and dumping some cream and sugar in it. After setting my cinnamon roll down on the plate and adding a dash of each to my own cup, I stir my spoon through the tan liquid, lost in thought again. “So, what’s on your mind?”
“I had lunch with Ivy on Sunday,” I whisper, glancing up at her as her eyes widen and she nods.
“And? How is she?”
“She seems okay…”
Dottie places her hand over her heart and lets out a breath. “Well, that’s a relief.” Pausing to stare at me, she tilts her head to the side. “Isn’t it?”
“She’s engaged.”
“Oh,” she whispers, staring down at her coffee as she chews on her bottom lip. It’s something she only does when she’s really stressed and I haven’t even told her the worst part yet.
“There’s more.”
She nods, still not meeting my eyes. “Out with it, then.”
“She…uh, she has a bruise on her wrist.”
Dottie’s head whips up and the pain in her eyes makes tears well up in my own. “You think he’s hurting her?”
“I… Yes. I asked her about it and she said she was being clumsy and he grabbed her when she fell but I just don’t believe that,” I admit and hatred burns in my gut as I think about someone hurting my baby sister. I set my cup down on the table and lean forward. “What can we do?”
Dottie is quiet for a moment, staring down at her coffee as she absentmindedly stirs it, before letting out a sigh. “Years ago, I had this friend who met what we all thought was the most wonderful man, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that something was off. I suspected he was knocking her around and even though I had no proof, I just couldn’t let it go so I asked her about it. She straight up denied it and got mad at me for sticking my nose where it didn’t belong. It tore our friendship apart and I didn’t see her for nearly a year when she showed up at my house in the middle of the night, six months pregnant, with a black eye and a broken arm. I had been right, but it didn’t matter because she wasn’t ready to face the truth.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, horrified that she might actually be suggesting that we do nothing.
“I’m saying if he’s hurting her, his hooks are already in deep and if we say something, we might just push her away when she needs us the most.”
I stare at her with my mouth hanging open and voices roaring in my head. “You can’t be serious. I won’t just let him hurt her.”
“If we do this and she pulls away, she won’t have anyone to turn to when she is finally ready to leave. Believe me, child, I want to do whatever it takes to get her out of there, but I know this is something she has to do herself, even if it kills me.”
“So, we do nothing?”
She shakes her head. “No. You be there for her. You let her know that no matter what happens, you are always by her side because she will need you. Maybe not right away but someday, she’s going to need her big sister to be there for her.”
“I can’t believe this,” I mutter, dropping my head into my hands and sucking in a breath.
“I know it feels like everything that you shouldn’t be doing, Carly, and trust me, I briefly considered grabbing my gun and going for a drive, but it won’t fix anything. And even worse, Ivy would never forgive us.”
“At least she’d be alive,” I hiss, looking up at her.
She nods, taking a sip of coffee with an eerie calm settling over her. “We take this one day at a time, Carly, and if things get worse, we’ll be there to help her. But if you charge in now, you won’t be around and you won’t know if she needs you.”
“I hate it.”
“I know. I do, too.”
Silence descends over us and I take a sip of my coffee before taking a deep breath in an attempt to relax.
“So,” Dottie prompts, watching me with a raised brow. “Anything else on your mind?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Whatever happened with that boy of yours?”
After another sip of coffee, I set the cup down and sigh. “I took your advice and let him in.”
“And?” she asks as she fights back a smile.
“And, turns out the asshole is married.”
“No,” she gasps, shaking her head as she lays her hand on the table in front of her. I nod, my chest aching with all the things I’ve been avoiding as I look away from her. “Tell me everything.”
With a sigh, I turn back and step completely out of character as I spill my guts – telling her everything from the moment I met Chance until last night when he was pounding on my door and telling me he
couldn’t walk away from me. When I finish, she’s quiet – studying me intently.
“Could it be a mistake?”
I scoff. “No.”
“Did he confirm it? Did anyone else?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this.”
“So, it could all be a misunderstanding.”
“A secret wife is not a misunderstanding.” My phone buzzes on the table and I grab it, thankful for the distraction.
Ivy:
Julian has tonight off.
Family dinner at 6?
“Ivy wants to have a family dinner tonight at six and she’s bringing Julian,” I mutter, already uncomfortable with the thought of being in the same room with the man who I’m convinced is hurting my baby sister.
“Okay,” Dottie says, looking toward the kitchen. “I think I can scrounge something up.”
Me:
Sounds good.
After pressing send, I stand up and offer Dottie a smile. “I’ll see you tonight then, I guess.”
“We were still talking about your beau,” she points out and I shake my head.
“There’s nothing to talk about and I have an appointment to get my nails done. Hopefully, a little relaxation will help me forget this shitty week.”
She makes a noise of annoyance as she stands up and wraps me in a hug. “See you tonight, Sweetie.”
* * * *
“Ready to do this?” Aunt Dottie asks, looking a little pale herself, as we grab a few plates full of food and turn toward the dining room where Ivy and Julian are waiting for us.
“I don’t know. Are you?” I’m not feeling anywhere close to okay, but I have to keep a straight face and be polite to Julian for Ivy’s sake. After some time to think about what Dottie said this afternoon, I realized she was right. As much as I want to rush in and whisk my sister away somewhere safe, she has to make the decision but as soon as she does, as soon as she’s sure she wants to leave, nothing will stop me from helping her. I have to believe she’ll come to her senses eventually because Ivy is smart and it won’t take her long to come to the realization that this relationship isn’t good for her.
