by A. M. Myers
“Should we really be discussing this in certain company?” Moose asks, tilting his head toward Rodriguez, who scoffs.
“No, y’all definitely should not be talking about this in front of me… except that I’m with you on this one. He killed my girl.”
“Hold up… this is not who we are. We don’t fucking kill people,” I say, my mind spinning as I try to keep up with the conversation. Are they really suggesting that we throw away all the work we’ve done to change this club and Blaze’s vision?
“Times change, Streak,” Chance says, glancing back at the barn. “Can we risk letting the justice system handle this? What if it all goes to trial and he’s found not guilty? Then he’s free to come after us again and this time, he might just succeed in destroying all of us.”
“Yeah, that’s not fucking happening,” Fuzz snaps, shaking his head as he clenches his jaw. Silence descends over us until Storm clears his throat and meets Rodriguez’s eye.
“What did the BOLO turn up? Is there anyone that is gonna come looking for this fucker?”
Rodriguez shakes his head. “No. He hasn’t checked in with his parole officer in weeks and all of his family is gone. I think everyone has just assumed that he ran off.”
“And what are we doing with Caleb and Jake?” Fuzz asks, fidgeting as he waits for an answer. The tension in the air is making me fucking antsy, too, and I just want to get this over with so I can get back to my girl.
“We found an apartment in their name after Zane revealed their involvement to us and we searched it earlier this evening. We found enough evidence of everything to charge them with the five murders and Veronica’s kidnapping so they will be arrested shortly.”
Fuzz arches a brow. “So, no one will care if Evan just disappears?”
“Hold the fuck up,” I seethe. “I can’t believe you fuckers are actually considering this. We don’t do shit like this and you know it.”
“We’ve never been in this spot before, Streak,” Storm says, flashing me a look of understanding before shaking his head. “I think the only thing we can do is put it to a vote.”
If this conversation is any indication, I know exactly how this vote will go and my stomach churns, memories that I’d rather keep buried flooding my mind.
“This is fucking insane,” I breathe, running my hand through my hair as Storm turns to the rest of the group and nods.
“If you’re in favor of ending this fucker here and now, say “yay” and if you want to hand him over to the authorities say “nay”.
“Nay,” I snap, still shocked that we’re even voting on this, as everyone else around me calls out “yay” and I shake my head. Even if Smith and Henn side with me, it won’t fucking matter because it will only be three to five. Looking at my brothers, I blow out a breath.
“I can’t fucking believe y’all.”
Storm claps my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Streak. It has to be done. You’re welcome to leave, though, if you want.”
“No,” I growl, shaking my head. “I don’t fucking agree with the decision one bit but the vote was fair and I’ll find a fucking way to live with it.”
I hate every second of it but I will deal with it.
Storm nods and turns to the barn, squaring his shoulders. “Let’s do this then.”
We follow him and step into the barn before closing the door behind us and when I glance up, Evan grins at me, blood dripping from his mouth.
“Ah, Travis. I was so hoping you’d be here.”
“Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Henn snarls, clocking him across the face. My desire to make Evan pay and my need to not become a murderer wars inside me as his head snaps to the side. He’s tied to a wooden chair in the middle of the room and it looks like Smith and Henn have worked him over pretty well already. One eye is almost swollen shut and his lip is cracked right down the center.
Laughing, Evan spits some blood on the ground before looking back up at us. “Hello, boys. Long time no see.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Fuzz growls, pulling the gun from his waistband but Evan just laughs again.
“What? No foreplay? Don’t y’all want to know about all of the awful things I did? I know it’s been driving you crazy,” he teases as enjoyment flashes in his eyes.
“Sure. Go on and tell us all about your revenge plan,” Storm says, planting his feet in front of Evan and crossing his arms over his chest. Evan laughs again and shakes his head.
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Son of a bitch,” Kodiak seethes, stepping forward and slamming his fist into his nose. The chair falls back, taking Evan with him and he hits the floor with a thud but he just keeps laughing. Storm turns back to all of us and shakes his head.
“Fucking demented,” he whispers and I nod. This isn’t news to me since I’ve been dealing with Evan for weeks now but this is a whole new level. He has nothing left to lose now and it shows every time he cackles with joy at our frustration.
“Look, if we’re going to end this, then let’s just fucking end it.”
“Oh, boys,” Evan calls and we all glance back at him as he lies on the floor, unable to move. “Maybe I’ll give you a little hint.”
Moose arches a brow. “Yeah? And what’s that?”
“I had a part in everything. For the last two years, everything that happened in your lives was controlled by me!” he yells followed by maniacal laughter and we all turn back to face each other with wide eyes.
“We think he’s telling the truth.”
I shrug. “Who knows? That’s the whole point. He’s playing a game and fucking loving every second of it. He’s never going to tell us the truth.”
A scuffle pulls my attention back to Evan and I glance up just in time to see him stand up, the arms of the chair still taped to his arms as he punches Henn, knocking him to the floor. Once Henn is down, he grabs his gun off of the floor and points it at Storm. I react before I even realize what I’m doing, whipping my gun out of the waistband of my jeans and leveling it at Evan, pulling the trigger. His gun goes off, too, as he falls backward, his body hitting the floor with a thud that makes my stomach churn as my breath rings in my ears. I look down at the pistol in my hand.
Oh, fuck.
What the hell did I do?
“Motherfucker,” Storm hisses and I glance over at him as he clutches his shoulder and my eyes widen when I see the blood oozing through his fingers. He grits his teeth. “Stupid asshole fucking shot me.”
“He’s dead,” Smith calls, kicking the gun from Evan’s hand as he turns and meets my eyes. There is a sour taste in my mouth as I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, my mind swimming. My hands tremble as crime scene photos I’ve never been able to erase from my memory flash through my mind and my chest aches.
Goddamn it.
I’ve spent years trying to make things right and make sure I never turned into that monster and I just threw it all away with one bullet and now, I’m just like him…
Kodiak steps up in front of me and grabs my shoulder, shaking me until I meet his eyes. “You had to do it, brother. He was going to kill Storm.”
“Yeah,” I whisper as I nod, my entire body numb and my mind blank.
“Get him out of here,” Storm says through clenched teeth. “And someone clean this shit up. We don’t need this coming back on us.”
Henn, Smith, Fuzz, and Chance nod in unison as Kodiak grabs my shoulder and leads me out of the barn with Storm and Moose on our heels.
“Someone want to take me to the fucking hospital?” he asks, looking a little pale as he holds his hand firm against his shoulder and Kodiak nods.
“Yeah, ride with us.” At the mention of the hospital, my attention shifts back to Rowan and I suck in a breath, every other thought fleeing from my mind as I hand my gun off to Moose. All of this shit, all of the baggage I clearly need to sort through can wait for later. The most important thing is getting back to my girl.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Rowan
>
“Hey, Princess,” a voice whispers, a voice that reaches into my very soul and pulls me from the darkness and I can’t help but smile. I don’t know how heaven has the man I love but my heart squeezes at the fact that he’s here with me. Someone grabs my hand and my eyes fly open, blinking up at the white ceiling tiles and bright florescent lights above me. My brow furrows and my mind spins.
Where am I?
Pressure on my hand pulls my attention to my left and I suck in a breath, unable to stop my smile as I meet Travis’s green eyes. I pull my hand from his and reach up, trailing my fingers over his cheek as he flashes me a relieved smile.
“There you are.”
“You’re here,” I whisper and he nods, grabbing my hand again before bringing it to his lips.
“Of course I’m here, baby. Where else would I be?”
I glance at my hand and notice the tube snaking up my arm. I follow it up to an IV stand behind me and a monitor that shows the steady rhythm of my heartbeat. Turning back to him, I scowl. “Where am I?”
“In the hospital,” he answers with a grimace, kissing my hand again. “You lost a lot of blood and you needed surgery to fix your arm.”
“My arm?” I whisper, my scowl deepening before I glance down at the bed with a gasp. My eyes widen at the large cast wrapped around my entire arm, all the way to my shoulder and the memories come rushing back – the fire, the gunshots, running through the forest, Evan catching me, and Evan stabbing me. I gently touch my belly as I turn to Travis.
“Evan…”
He nods, running a hand through his hair as he presses his lips together into a thin line and reaches up to rub the back of his neck. I watch him, the hair on my arms standing on end as a wave of unease washes over me.
“What is going on?”
Sucking in a breath, he meets my gaze again. “Evan is dead.”
“How?” I whisper as a chill seeps into my bones and Travis sucks in a breath again, his knee bouncing like crazy.
“I killed him…”
I gasp.
“Rodriguez caught him after he left you in the forest and we took him to Kodiak’s property in the country. We were deciding on what to do with him when he got free and went after Storm. I didn’t have a choice…”
My mind drifts back to my time in the woods with Evan and I nod as I turn back to him. “Okay.”
“Are you upset?”
“Travis,” I scoff. “The man literally tortured me in the woods so no, I’m not upset… but are you okay?”
He sighs, telling me all I need to know and I pull on his hand, urging him to climb into the bed with me. Glancing up, he shakes his head.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me by being all the way over there,” I tell him and he studies me for a second before sighing and climbing into bed with me. He gently maneuvers around all of the wires and tubes all around me as he pulls me into his arms and buries his nose in my hair.
“What else is going on, Travis? I can tell that something is bothering you.”
“We, uh…” he whispers, laying his head back against the bed. “We have a lot to talk about, baby.”
I remember telling him I love him before I passed out and my stomach drops as I nod. “Right.”
This is it.
This is the moment that he ends things and I’m trapped in a hospital bed.
“Um… about what I said… we can just pretend I didn’t… I mean, I know this… between us… is casual and…”
He sits up, cutting off my words, and leans over me, pressing a soft, adoring kiss against my lips. I sigh, my eyes closing as I cup his cheek and lose myself in it. If this is going to be the last time, I want to savor every second of it. When he pulls back, he flashes me a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I love you, too, Rowan… even though I shouldn’t.”
I balk. “What do you mean you shouldn’t?”
“Listen,” he sighs, lying back in the bed as his body tenses and he cups my cheek like it brings him some level of comfort. “I haven’t been completely honest with you… about me… and I’m not good for you, Row. You deserve so much better than what I can give you.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
He sighs. “It’s kind of a long story…”
“Then start at the beginning,” I snap as my mind races and my heart thunders in my chest.
What is happening right now?
Is he breaking up with me?
Does he really love me?
“Okay… the beginning… I guess the beginning is when I was born.”
My eyes widen but I don’t dare say a word, silently encouraging him to keep talking. His hand shakes against my face and I grip it with my hand, holding him steady. He takes another deep breath.
“My dad… he was never what you would call warm and honestly, he never really even gave me the time of day but I never knew any different so it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
I open my mouth but he looks down at me and shakes his head.
“Just let me get this out before you ask anything, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“When I was fifteen, my mom picked me up from school one day and all of our shit was in the back seat. She said we were leaving my dad and I didn’t ask any questions, you know? I guess I didn’t really care because he and I never really had a relationship. Anyway, we got a little apartment in the next town over and we went on living our lives. When I turned eighteen, I wanted answers from my dad about why he was the way he was so I drove over to the house. He wasn’t there but I was determined to have it out with him so I sat in my car for hours, waiting for him to return but when he did…” His voice breaks and I glance up at him, my chest aching at the pain all over his face.
“What, Travis?”
He shudders. “When he came back, I watched him pull a woman’s body out of the trunk of his car. I was so fucking horrified that I couldn’t move and I just sat there, watching him, as he took her into the garage and closed the door.”
My chest feels tight as his story plays out in my mind and I look up at him, the man I love with every single cell in my body and a tear streaks down my cheek. He glances down at me and his face crumples as he wipes it away and presses his lips to my forehead.
“I was already pretty good at all of the computer stuff back then,” he says, holding me tighter as he continues. “So I started a full-blown investigation into my father and the things I saw… the things he has done… they still haunt me to this day, baby.”
I tip my head back and press my hand to his cheek, pulling his gaze down to me. “Tell me.”
“I… can’t. I’ve never fucking told anyone about this except the police and you… you are my shelter from all of this shit. I can’t put this in your head.”
I nod in understanding. “Then tell me what happened next.”
“It was all an incredibly slow process but over the next year, I managed to collect enough evidence of his crimes to go to the police. I showed them everything I had, everything that proved my father had started killing women who looked just like my mother two months after she left him, and then I waited for them to make their move and arrest him.”
“And did they?” I ask, my stomach churning and he nods.
“Yeah, they did… but not before he came after his true target – my mother.”
I gasp, more tears falling down my cheeks. “He killed your mom?”
“Yes,” he whispers, his voice barely audible as he nods his head before burying it in my hair again and my heart cracks wide open, breaking for him as I cling to his body, wishing I could provide him with something more.
“Oh, baby… I’m so sorry.” I try to move but the stupid arm cast gets in my way and I cry out as pain shoots through my shoulder. Travis’s head jerks up, his red rimmed eyes meeting mine and he leans down, claiming my lips in a kiss that screams of his pain. When he pulls back and presses our foreheads
together, I close my eyes and release a breath.
“What does all of this have to do with us, though? Why do you think you shouldn’t love me?”
He rolls his forehead across mine and tension fills the air as I hold my breath, waiting for him to answer me. I honestly can’t see any reason why this would change anything between us but I know this is his issue.
“I used to think I was in danger of becoming just like my dad, you know? Like one day I would just snap and start hurting people but my dad, he enjoyed what he did, and if the way I feel now after killing Evan is any indication, I’m not the same as him.”
I jerk back, meeting his gaze as I narrow my eyes. “Of course you’re not like him, Travis…”
“I agree but that doesn’t mean I’m not still damaged goods, baby. I’ve seen truly awful shit that would send most people into a corner to rock back and forth and I’m a moody fucking bastard sometimes and I lash out. I’m not the kind of man you deserve.”
“I don’t give a shit,” I seethe, shaking my head as I smack my hand over his heart. “I love you, Travis. All of you, every single piece – moody bastard or not. You’ve stolen my heart completely and I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”
His brow furrows. “How can you say that? Knowing who I am, where I come from?”
“Who you are? Travis, that’s what made me fall in love with you. You try to hide it but you’re so incredibly kind and sweet, you stand up for what is right and people who cannot stand on their own, you make me laugh every single day and you’re the one person I want to see when I’m happy, sad, angry, scared, annoyed… how can you think that what you’ve just told me changes any of that? If anything, I love you more now.”
“What?” he whispers, searching my eyes for any dishonesty but he won’t find it. This man lying in bed next to me is everything I want and more and there is no way his past is ever going to change any of that. The wariness flashing through his gaze kills me and I press my hand to his cheek again, dragging him down to me until his lips press to mine. He sighs and pulls me closer while being careful not to hurt me as the tension slowly seeps out of his body. When he pulls back, he beams at me, his eyes brighter and clear for the first time in weeks. “You really love me, huh?”
