She thought she could fight the attraction between us, thought she could evade it, but there was no avoiding your fate.
It was an unfair disadvantage, and while she was squirrelly enough to make me wish it wasn’t the case, because I knew she wouldn’t appreciate the lack of free will, I wasn’t about to argue with how things had worked since the first shifters had roamed the earth.
“So, let me get this straight, if Austin died, Sabina would die as well?”
I nodded. “That’s how it works. When, in the aftermath, Sabina died, Ethan and Eli would too. But don’t worry, she wouldn’t want to live without them.”
Her eyes bugged out at that, and I instinctively recognized that was the wrong thing to say.
Even though I cursed myself when she snapped her hand away from mine and leaned away from me, I muttered, “A mate bond isn’t something you can live without once you’ve had it. And as years pass and it cements itself deeper into your being, it’s not something you can exist without. Until death isn’t something to fear, but the promise of peace.”
Her gaze on her drink, she mumbled, “That’s how my mom was with my dad.”
“No, it isn’t,” I denied, the idea that she could compare the joy of the mate bond with her parents’ foul relationship was abhorrent to me.. “They’re human. There’s no comparison. She might have been obsessed with him, she might have been submissive to him, but it wasn’t a mate bond.”
“How do you know?”
“He hurt her, didn’t he?”
Her mouth tightened. “Yes.”
“Well, there you have it. Even Kingsley, who was a bastard, whose rages were known from this pack to the next, never beat on his mate. His son, he did. It’s how alpha whelps were reared in his line, which is what made him the sick son of a bitch he was in the first place.” I ground my teeth. “It’s to my dying shame that I let that go on, but until my father died, I didn’t have—”
She tilted her head to the side when my words waned. “You didn’t have what?”
Knowing she wouldn’t get it, I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does.”
I worked my jaw at that, hating that I’d backed myself into a corner, but I explained, “I’m not like the wolves around this pack.”
“Why?”
“Because my line is Korean.”
“Wolves are wolves, aren’t they?”
“No. They’re not,” I hedged, before I cleared my throat. “Anyway, as I was saying, everyone was free game, but Kingsley never beat his mate. He was insane. A psychopath. And though there were rumors, if anyone would have seen Lina hiding bruises, it would’ve been my family. We were in the inner circle because we had to clean it,” I grumbled.
She reached for her glass then, sucking on her straw, evidently processing what I had to say, before she asked, “Do you mind being my Wikipedia?”
“Of course not. Whatever you want to ask, ask. But first… why did you wince when you sat down?”
Pulling a face, she muttered, “You know I was attacked by a hyena, don’t you?”
My nose crinkled. “Yes.”
She frowned, then wafted a hand at me. “What does that mean?”
“You smell of it.”
“Of the hyena attack?” Her mouth dropped open. “Oh crap, why? I’ve showered a bunch of times since then.”
I shrugged. “Did they get close to you?”
Her eyes narrowed at me, before she muttered, “Yes. I was attacked because I ran over what I thought was a cat that darted out onto the road. It wasn’t. It was a hyena. And her mate was there, he saw it happen, and that’s how he knew it was me who’d done it. He got a couple of good licks in.”
“You’re lucky to be alive,” I told her gravely, wanting to reach out and hold her hand once more but knowing she wouldn’t appreciate it.
She had a ‘hands off’ sign all over her, and I wasn’t going to breach that until she was ready.
“I know I am. If Sabina hadn’t helped me, I’d be dead.” She sucked in a breath, and I knew, point blank, she was about to change the subject. “Sabina told me that only mated shifters can have children together. Is that true?”
“Yes.”
“Are all mates the same?”
“No. What makes you ask that?”
“Well, the hyena died, and the man didn’t die immediately.”
“It’s not an instant process. Merinda, Eli’s mother, lingered on for two years, although that’s an aberration. Mostly it’s a couple of months. But hyenas are different anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Each animal shifter has a different means of finding their mate,” I explained.
“No way!” she retorted, but she sounded enthused, like she was intrigued, and I knew I’d keep her so informed with the random shit that was unique to our world if it meant watching her bounce on her seat, and keeping her with me all night.
“Yes way,” I teased her gently. “Hyenas don’t sense their mates like wolves, bears, and foxes do.”
Her brows rose. “There are so many different species?”
“If it’s a predator, it’s likely there’s a shifter.”
“What about a great white shark?”
“Never seen one, so I can’t say. I think they’re our version of Bigfoot,” I joked.
“How about mosquitos?” she questioned, her eyes twinkling.
I grinned at her. “If only. But I don’t think so. We wouldn’t have seven billion people on earth if that was true.”
“Shame. We could kill all the mates and then eradicate them forever.”
I snorted before I began explaining, “Shifters are mammalian. But not every race is the same—some cats, lions, for example, hyenas too, they have different means of finding a mate.”
“How?”
I tapped my nose. “They can scent if a woman is genetically viable to carry their child. They focus on numbers, we focus on a soul deep connection.”
“Huh?” she whispered, gaping at me with surprise.
I nodded, but my smile held a trace of whimsy as I told her, “Strange, isn’t it? Our way is far more romantic.”
“Well, I dunno about that.”
“I saw you in the forest, and the second I did, I knew what you were to me. And you did too. You approached a circle of wolves, in a vulnerable state, and you came to me, moved from your sister’s pack into my pack’s circle, and you reasoned with me. You wouldn’t have done that unless we were tied.”
“Of course I would have,” she scoffed. “You were trying to take Daniel away from Sabina!”
That was said on a hiss, but I felt the shift in the diner at her words and sighed. “Did you have to say that out loud?”
“They can’t hear,” she retorted dismissively.
“Yes, they can,” I corrected. I’d chosen the corner booth so that I could look over the diner, make sure there’d be no out-of-the-blue attacks on a wolf whose scent belonged to another pack, and I called out, “His father killed mine. His father destroyed my family. I asked only for what pack law declared my right. But, after speaking with my mate, she persuaded me that the punishment wasn’t Daniel’s to pay.”
Interest stirred at my words, but I ignored it, knowing I’d pacified them with gossip about my finding my mate. Lara, on the other hand, was pissed.
“You had no right to tell them that.”
“They’ll know soon enough. The more time you spend with me, the more you’ll scent of me.” And not goddamn hyenas.
Their stench was peculiar to their race, and it was strong, enough to make my nose curl again.
I’d been surprised by it the first night of our meeting, especially when she’d approached me in wolf skin, but for it to be unchanged was a clear sign that she’d been hurt by the hyena who’d attacked her. Maybe a bite? Definitely more than a ‘couple of good licks’.
I wanted to kill the bastard for daring to hurt her, because if he had, I’d never have
met her, and I’d have lost my chance at being with this beautiful woman before I even had a moment in her company.
Two dishes were plunked down on our table by a scowling Maggie May, and I told her, “Your table service, as always, is stunning, Maggie.”
“I certainly try my best, Todd. Now, what’s this about forcing that boy back to your pack so you can toss him out like he’s trash?”
“You can’t be surprised by it,” I retorted with a scowl. “I’m surprised his presence hasn’t caused issues.”
“It did. At first,” she admitted. “Especially with the old council. But those stuck-up dicks would have argued with themselves in the mirror if they could have.”
“Maybe they did,” I half-teased.
“Wouldn’t be surprised.” She squinted at me. “He’s a good boy. He deserves a second chance—”
“Why a second chance? Far as I can tell, he hasn’t done anything wrong,” Lara interjected.
“He’ll bear his father’s shame for the rest of his life,” Maggie told her, calmly but sadly. “The least we can do is help the boy. He’s shifted already. Sending that out into the human world is a recipe for disaster.”
“As I said, my mate helped clarify the situation. I’ll leave him alone,” I informed her, well aware that I was informing the diner as a whole too.
Maggie eyed Lara with a mite more respect than she’d shown earlier. Not that she’d been disrespectful, just distrusting. “Good to hear you’ll have a strong and sensible woman at your back, Todd. Behind every great man, there’s a great woman.”
My lips twitched. “I’m well aware of that.”
“Good. Now, enjoy your food.”
I stared down at my burger and not at my mate as Maggie retreated, but when I dosed my dish with ketchup, I felt her attention on me.
My skin prickled, and everything inside me stood up with awareness as I acknowledged the power she had over me.
Grandfather had warned me of this, and while I was prepared, I wasn’t truly. We did things differently in my world, more differently than I could even share with her until she was mine in earnest. I hated the subterfuge, but she couldn’t understand because she didn’t understand how things worked on a normal basis—so the uniqueness of my situation would be further lost on her.
“Do hyenas force their mates to be with them?”
“Yes and no,” I replied, gaze still on my food. I picked up a fry, munched on it, and told her, “The term mate is different with them. When they sense genetic compatibility, a bite during sex is all it takes to impregnate a woman. But that’s only a physical connection. They’re just baby mamas.”
“Not mates?”
“No. Their mates are chosen, just like in the human world. The term is interchangeable though.”
“That’s pretty disrespectful, isn’t it?”
I shrugged. “They’re disrespectful people. Especially where women and the kids they beget are concerned. A lot of times, the women they’ve bitten don’t even know they’re carrying hyena spawn.”
Though her eyes flared wide with disgust, she just mused, “Interesting.”
There was that word again.
I figured if she was interested, then the date was going well.
Deciding to keep that up, I informed her, “Hyena males can shift from birth. Their females need to be bitten during sex to trigger the shift—even those who are born. That’s why, during a claiming like with a wolf shifter, there’s no biting.”
“To represent a lack of force?”
“Exactly.” I looked at her then, imbued that look with meaning. “There’ll never be any force.” She took my promise with a stony glare, but I could see she was pensive. Could sense her concern, and because I wanted to help her, I asked, “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I help?”
She gulped, but picked up her burger and took a large bite. Deciding she wanted to be left to her thoughts, I gave her the freedom to just eat without expecting a conversation, and by the time she’d finished her fries, I was rewarded with another question.
“What’s the covenant? I heard Ethan and Daniel talking about it earlier.”
Of course, her question couldn’t be a simple one to answer, could it?
“Have you heard anything about a totem?”
“Like a Native American one?”
“Yes.”
She shook her head.
“Makes sense because you’re not pack, I guess. But all packs, clans, tribes…whatever, they all have a totem. It’s where we gather as a unit. A safe space for meeting as a collective. It’s overseen by our…” I shrugged. “Some might say it’s the Mother herself, others might say it’s someone who speaks on her behalf.”
“Okay,” she voiced slowly. “What about it?”
“Well, whoever it is, on the covenant, we’re taken to the totem and we speak with whoever it may be, and we’re informed of our destiny.”
“That’s pretty cool,” she whispered, eyes round.
“It is. In my pack, it’s not been that way for a long time, because the Rainfords stopped letting us meet there. The Mother’s will interfered with their own desires.”
“They sound like jerks.”
“They were. Trust me.” My smile was tight. “So, at the covenant, we’re informed what rank we’ll be, what the Mother sees in our future, and if we’re granted a mate.”
“So, you never had a covenant?”
“No. Never. But even if I had, because you’re human, I’d never have been warned about you by the Mother.” Her cheeks turned pink at my cavalier mention of what she was to me. “Mates who are wolf children, that’s people who are turned into wolves like your sister, aren’t recognized by the Mother.”
“That sucks.”
“It does.”
“Even if it’s basically taking away free will.”
And because I knew how important free will was to her, I just told her, “Where mates are concerned, free will goes out of the window. Not because it’s a way of controlling another person, but because living without a mate, which some people have to do, is a fate worse than death.”
My words resonated, probably more than she’d like.
She dumped her burger on her plate, then reached for her glass. “I’m sorry about all the questions.”
“Don’t be. I’m here for you, Lara. In ways you’re not ready to accept,” I told her, my voice soothing. “But when you are, I’ll still be here, and there’ll still be no force.”
Her eyes turned wary. “Why do I believe you?”
“Because you’re supposed to. You were fated to believe me, fated to believe in me.”
She dipped her chin. “Sabina says we didn’t share a father.”
That she’d unlocked a door between us filled me with relief. She could have started the conversation just to change the subject, but I didn’t think so, and merely said, “If he was cruel, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I suppose.” She bit her lip. “I’ve had all these talents for years, Todd, and everyone always thought I was crazy because of them. Me included. But here I am, everyone listening to me, acting like I’m not nuts, and it’s when everything goes to hell.” Her gulp was nerves, pure and simple. Her gaze caught mine at long last, and she whispered, her voice so quiet I could barely hear it, never mind the people in the diner, “Why, when I look at you, when I look into you, do I see a fox? And not a wolf?”
My lips parted, because whatever I’d expected her to say, it wasn’t that.
And for the life of me, I had no idea how to answer, because the truth of my heritage wasn’t something she was supposed to learn until she was my mate.
Until we were bound.
Until I’d gifted her with the knowledge.
“Don’t lie to me,” she rasped. “I can see you want to.”
I shook my head. “No. Not at all. I don’t want to lie to you. I-I, well, you have to see I can’t answer that h
ere.”
She nodded her understanding. “But you’ll tell me?”
“Of course I will,” I vowed, even though the truth might have her running for the hills, she deserved the truth. The full truth.
Mother help me.
Thirteen
Eli
“We can’t just keep him locked up in there all the time. Christ, prisoners get more freedom,” Austin rumbled.
“What are we supposed to do?” Ethan questioned. “I swear to you, he took over my mind somehow.”
“You realize that changes what Leon did, don’t you?” I replied, my voice pensive, soft with reflexive thought.
“Yes. It does. We thought he attacked Maribel because he was a dipshit,” Austin answered. “What if Seth made him do it? What if he triggered the attack?”
“I swear, I’ve never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt him, guys,” Ethan rasped, and I could hear the torment in his voice at that. Could hear the pain and anguish.
Sabina, who was sitting on his lap, evidently aware that he needed her the most right now, turned into him and nuzzled her face against his throat.
Watching her, watching Knight feed, I lifted my legs so that I could rest them on my desk, then plunked my hands on my belly as I contemplated what I was learning.
It had been a shit day. What with Ethan’s attack, my useless conference with the Mother, learning the Kinsdale Alpha had let hyenas into his territory and that Lara hadn’t known she’d been at the center of a hyena manhunt… things couldn’t be worse.
Then there was Sabina.
Lara had somehow managed to offend her, which meant she was quieter than usual, and at a time when I needed her at full working order because what we were discussing was unprecedented.
On top of that, she didn’t have to say a word for me to know she was missing Berry. Hell, I missed the she-wolf too. Before things had grown so complicated, she’d been a good companion, and I’d always known my woman was safe with her around.
Without the pups and Berry, things were different. I was used to the pups managing to knock all the furniture over and causing chaos wherever they were, Berry nipping at them and her low growls rumbling through the packhouse as she tried and failed to corral them…
Moon Child: A PNR Shifter Romance (The Year of the Wolf Book 2) Page 20
