I’m not tired in the physical sense. But another part of me is worn down. When I first came to Magnolia, I loved my work there. I was hired to push boundaries, creating desserts grander and showier than any other restaurant in Chicago.
I perfected my bourbon caramel sauce and created the perfect recipe for strawberry-lemon meringue cake. My chocolate baskets have a devoted following that reaches outside of the city and even the state.
But lately, I’ve started to feel like I’ve reached the top of the mountain. Everything I’ve ever wanted to do in this job, I’ve done. And while I’ve loved it, I’m longing for something more.
My favorite work days are the ones I spent at the shelter, teaching women how to cook and being a tiny part of their growth. Last week I taught a fifteen-year-old boy whose mom is disabled how to cook a few dinners on a budget. He told me about his family’s sad path to the Women’s Mission as we peeled and chopped. The look of pride on his face when he served his mom and sisters the beef stew I taught him to cook brought tears to my eyes.
I did that, I thought as I watched them eat their meal together. It was a better feeling than any culinary award or five-star review. I helped people who needed it. And somehow, it ended up helping me more than them.
Going back to work the next day at a place where dinner for two costs at least $300 was a hollow feeling. I had a revelation as I zested a lemon that I no longer want to use my baking skills to be the best pastry chef I can be. I want to put my experience to work becoming the best person I can be.
Which means going to New York. But then I’d have to leave Knox. And as much as his offer of a long-distance relationship means to me, it’s not what either of us really wants.
Eric was always reminding me that he needed space. Space to be alone, space to be with just his friends, space to catch up on work. But Knox wants to be with me. Sometimes we snuggle on the couch and neither of us says much. It’s kind of like being alone together, I guess. And if he has plans with friends, he always asks me to come.
Being in love with Knox—with anyone—is scary for me. But I don’t want to run away from it anymore. Since I met him in Hawaii, I’ve been assuming it couldn’t work for so many reasons. He’s a pro hockey player, he travels all the time, and now…I’m most likely going to New York.
But at work today it dawned on me, clearer than anything ever has. It’s because of all those things that I belong with him. Instead of going the easy route, he’s choosing the hard route with me. He’s willing to travel across states to see me if that’s what it takes.
And it’s because of that that I’m having such a hard time getting excited about going to New York. I’m crazy excited about two things in my life—this new job and Knox. I don’t want to have to choose between them.
A voice in the back of my head is telling me there will be other job opportunities, but there’s only one Knox. I’m absolutely torn about what to do.
The glass of wine goes down smooth and fast. I realize then how hungry I am. I was so eager to get all my work done and get out of there for the day that I never had anything to eat.
I’m on my way into the kitchen to find something for dinner when there’s a knock at my door. I set my empty wine glass on the counter and walk over to answer it.
Knox is standing there, dressed in jeans and a black wool coat. He’s holding a box with the emblem of my favorite cupcake bakery on it, sized perfectly for a dozen cupcakes.
“Hey,” he says, his eyes sparkling with happiness.
“Hi, this is a nice surprise.”
“Me, or the cupcakes?”
I laugh and say, “Both.”
He comes inside and hugs me with his free arm. The familiar scent of his soap makes me snuggle a little closer to his chest. I already miss him when he’s traveling—how will I manage if I only get to see him once every couple weeks?
“You’re habit forming, you know that?” I say.
“I’m glad you think so.”
I sniff. “Is that…cream cheese frosting?”
“You want one of these?” he asks, holding the box up too high for me to reach.
I jump anyway, coming close because nothing motivates me like a carrot cake cupcake from Sweet Stuff. Knox takes the box over to my coffee table and sets it down.
“I was just about to see what I could find for dinner,” I say, bending down to open the box.
Inside there are a dozen assorted perfect cupcakes, each a different flavor. The smells of chocolate and cream cheese fill the air as I survey the twelve little cakes, eleven with cherries on top and one with…a glimmering diamond ring.
I let out a little yell of shock and cover my mouth with my hand, standing up. Knox gets down on one knee and looks up at me, looking so hopeful and worried that tears fill my eyes and immediately spill over.
“Reese, I know it’s soon. I know you’re scared of being hurt again. But I love you and I want to be with you more than anything. When you find someone who makes everything make sense…you can’t let go of that.”
“Knox…”
“Please say yes. I don’t think there’s anything we can’t do together. Just believe in me like I believe in you, and—”
“Yes.” I lean down and cup his face in my hands, unable to watch him suffer anymore. “As long as you’re absolutely sure—yes.”
His face transforms with a huge smile. “Of course I’m sure.”
He takes my hand and slides the ring onto my finger. I get my first good look at it, my mouth falling open in shock when I see the huge cushion cut solitaire on a white gold band lined with small diamonds.
“If you don’t like it—”
“I love it.” I wipe away the tears on my face, making way for new ones. “I can’t believe this.”
Knox stands up and wraps his arms around me, picking me up and hugging me.
“I can’t believe it, either,” he says, his voice catching with emotion. “You just made me the happiest guy in the world, Reese.”
He kisses me and sets me on the ground. As soon as my feet touch the wood floor, I make a decision.
“I’m not going to New York. I need to be here with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to make you stay here,” Knox says, his brow crinkled with concern.
“I know, but you can’t just move to New York because of your job, and I’ve got my classes and work at the shelter here a couple days a week. Maybe I can find a way to do more there.”
Knox takes my hands in his. “I had lunch with the owner of my team today so I could ask him to trade me to New York.”
My dainty proposal tears turn into a full-on ugly cry. “Are you serious? Because of me?”
He grins. “Because of us.”
“Knox, no. You love your team. You’ve worked so hard. Don’t--”
He stops me, saying, “I’m not going to New York. Durand had a better idea…at least, I thought so. I hope you will, too.”
My heart is pounding like I just finished an Olympic-level floor routine. I’m not sure I can take much more excitement without needing to sit down. But I’m dying to know, so I ask.
“What is it?”
Knox takes a breath before diving in. “He said you can start your own place like the New York one, but here in Chicago. He’ll back it financially.”
“Oh my God, are you serious?”
“Completely. Durand’s a billionaire business guy, he’s got the money.”
I think about my excitement over the New York shelter, and it grows when I imagine doing it right here. In Chicago, where Knox is. No worries about Gabe hitting on me. I could expand my classes for homeless and abused women and offer even more.
“You’re making me cry more than I’ve ever cried in my life,” I tell Knox, wiping my fingertips beneath my eyes again.
He puts his arms around me and says, “We’re meant to be. Salty and sweet. Isn’t that a perfect combination?”
I laugh at that. “I’d better be the sweet one.”
/> “You are.” He shrugs. “Most of the time.”
“So…wow. We’re getting married.”
“When do you want to do it?”
I think about it, still stunned it’s real. “I don’t know…do you think summer? During your offseason.”
“If you want a big wedding, we’ll need to wait until then.”
“I don’t know…what do you want?”
“I just want you to be my wife. The rest doesn’t matter to me.”
I remember all the planning that went into making my “perfect” wedding. Coordinating invitations and décor and colors. Finding the perfect venue. Trying on dozens of dresses at dozens of stores. And in the end, it wasn’t so perfect at all.
“The rest doesn’t matter to me, either,” I say, smiling at the realization. “I don’t care about the fanfare.”
Knox grins. “I’m so glad to hear that. Because I was thinking maybe we could get married soon.”
“How soon?”
“As soon as possible.” He kisses me, and when he pulls back, there are tears in his eyes as he says, “My dad would’ve loved you.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Knox
“Getting married?” Silas gapes at me. “You?”
“Yeah, me. What can I say? I found the one.”
“Wow.” He breaks into a grin. “Congrats, man. I’m happy for you.” He turns and cups his hands around his mouth, yelling to the entire locker room. “Hey, Knox is getting married!”
There are yells of congratulations, back slaps and a few shocked comments.
“That’s gonna break many a puck bunny’s heart,” Victor says.
Luca reaches out to shake my hand, saying, “Your first kid better be named Luca since you guys met when you were visiting my place.”
“Yeah, don’t bet on that.”
Anton looks up from his spot on a locker room bench, where he’s seated with his knees apart, elbows on his knees. He hasn’t said a word since I walked in here a few minutes ago.
“Congratulations, Knox,” he says. “I’m happy for you guys. Reese seems like a great girl.”
“Thanks.” I sit down next to him, concerned by his forlorn expression. “Hey, you okay?”
“Didn’t you hear?”
I shake my head. “What happened? I’ve been pretty wrapped up with Reese since yesterday.”
“Alexei’s in the hospital. He got into a drunk driving accident.”
“Shit, man, I’m sorry.”
Anton sighs heavily, scrubbing both hands down his face.
“Where is he?” I ask.
“Austin.”
“Are you gonna go there and see him?”
The corners of Anton’s lips tilt down as he shakes his head. “I talked to one of the doctors, he’s gonna live. He’s just banged up really bad. If I go there, I’ll lose my shit on him. I’m just done.”
“He’s been on a collision course for a while.”
“Yeah, and as soon as he can, he’ll get right back on it. Alexei takes the biggest opportunities and just shits all over them. And other people work their asses off and never even get the chances he has. I’m fucking over it.”
After a few seconds of silence, I say, “I get it. I’d probably feel the same way.”
“Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rain on your good news.”
“Nah, it’s okay.”
“Have you guys decided when you’re getting married?”
“Soon.”
“Mia and I want to host an engagement dinner for you guys.”
Quirking a brow, I ask, “You sure about that? You don’t want to check with her first?”
“Mia will be all over it. She loves that stuff. Taking over as head of the foundation has really gotten her into hosting.”
Mia took over after the sudden death of Lily, Jonah’s wife. Lily left big shoes to fill, but Mia has stepped up and done well.
“Well, if it’s okay with her, then okay. Thanks,” I say.
“Big Dog’s getting hitched?” A loud voice booms across the locker room.
Dante. He continues to grate on my nerves like no one else. He walks over to me and Anton with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Somebody else on this team better be getting married,” I say with a scowl, “because I know you’re smarter than to call me Big Dog.”
He laughs, though it’s more like a cackle. “Who’s the lucky lady, boss?”
“My girlfriend, dipshit. You think I just chose someone at random?”
“That hot little baker?”
My muscles tighten with tension as I look at Anton and say, “I’ve never wanted to tune up a teammate before him.”
“You don’t like me cause I’m younger and faster,” Dante says with a grin. “But I’ll grow on you.”
I cringe. “You’ve grown on me like a pimple on my ass. And you better learn to keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Coach calls everyone over for a pregame talk, saving me from Dante. He calls Anton over after and I hear him ask how his brother is.
“He’ll be okay,” Anton says. “Thanks for asking.”
I’ve never heard Anton sound so detached when talking about his brother. Maybe he means it about being done.
I remind myself to tell Reese about Alexei later. I promised to work on being better about telling her things, and I plan to. I never want her to feel hurt or left out again. Of course, she’ll be coming to my dad’s celebration of life service with me.
She’ll get to see all my childhood photos and hockey trophies. I’ve never shared any of that with any woman, but Reese is different.
“Dude, I’m coming to Kauai next summer,” I hear Dante say to someone. “Maybe some chick will take her top off and shake her titties just to meet me.”
I grip my stick hard, wanting to pound him with it.
“Go to your happy place,” Silas tells me when he sees I’m about to lose it.
He’s right. I can’t kick my teammate’s ass in the locker room, much as I’d like to.
Instead, I put in my headphones and zone out with music, thinking about the moment Reese said yes. That will always be a happy place for me. I’ll just have to switch back to thinking about Dante right before we hit the ice.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Reese
Knox gives me a tender look as I show off the pearl brooch pinned to my dress.
“This is my something old. It was my grandma’s,” I say. “Grandma Jan, the one who first taught me how to bake.”
“And then it’s something new, right?”
I give him a sly grin. “The bra and panties I’m wearing. You can see them later.”
“I’m gonna do more than just see them.” He kisses me, long and slow, and I can feel his promise of what’s to come tonight—our wedding night.
But we’re in the Cook County Courthouse, so our kissing can’t lead to more just yet. We’re meeting my dad and Knox’s mom outside the room we’re getting married in by a courthouse officiant. But before we do that, we wanted a last private few moments before we’re married, so we’re standing together in a little out of the way corner.
“And let’s see…” I try to get my senses back after that kiss. “Something borrowed…” I hold up my small bouquet of calla lilies and show him the white scrap of fabric I have wrapped around the stems. “Angelia loaned me this handkerchief that’s special to her.”
“Did she tell you why?”
I lower my brows. “I don’t want to darken the mood on our wedding day.”
“You won’t.”
I look up at him. “When her ex-husband attacked her the final time, when he beat her and threw acid on her, the first police officer on the scene gave Angela this handkerchief from her pocket. She told me she was sure she was going to die, but he kept telling her everything was going to be okay, and she just held on tight to that handkerchief. Now she holds it when she needs a reminder that everything will be okay.”
Knox’s
eyes swim with emotion. “Wow. That’s powerful. It must mean a lot to you that she wanted you to have it with you today.”
“It does.”
Knox and I talked about inviting our closest friend and family here to witness the ceremony and celebrate with us after, but the more we talked about it, the more people we felt like we had to include, and it stopped being the intimate occasion we wanted. So we decided on just my dad and his mom.
I smile at Knox and take a step back, doing a small twirl in my pale blue dress. It’s simple, but pretty. And with my hair done in a knot at the nape of my neck, I feel more beautiful than I ever have.
“Something blue,” Knox says, his gaze reverent. “You look stunning, babe.”
“Thank you.”
He takes my hand. “Ready?”
“I am.”
As we make our way through the busy courthouse, people look at us and smile. I squeeze Knox’s hand, amazed by how different it feels this time. I’m not nervous. I’m not worried about a single thing. I’m just happy. Happier than I ever thought possible.
“That’s Knox Deveraux,” someone says as we walk by.
As much as we wanted this day to be private, we knew people would sneak photos if they recognized Knox. Or rather, when. Everywhere we go in this city, people want to shake his hand and take selfies with him. It makes me feel proud when he graciously accepts every single time.
When we’re almost to the office we’re walking to, Knox’s mom, Diane, stands up to greet us. She’s beaming, tears glistening in her eyes, which are the same milk chocolate shade as Knox’s.
“Reese, look at you. Such a beautiful bride.”
She kisses me on the cheek and hugs me, then does the same to Knox. I met Diane over dinner at Magnolia last night, after her flight landed Chicago. She’s nice and easy to talk to, and to my relief, she’s not upset in the least that Knox and I are getting married so soon, and without a big, formal ceremony.
Knox: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 15
