by Nissa Leder
And I won’t let that happen.
Callum stops by my room Wednesday morning with another bag of herbs.
“This is the last bag left,” he says as he hands it to me.
“What do you mean last bag? Don’t they grow it in the greenhouse?”
“Yes, but it blooms in spring.”
“They have to have some more somewhere.” Dread swoops through me. If I run out, the visions will return. Not only will I probably get kicked out, but if my grandma finds out I can spy on her—even if it is unintentional—I’ll have even bigger problems.
“This is the last the school has. You’d have to find somewhere else to get it.”
“Can it be purchased?”
“Probably, but not from anyone you want to buy from.”
“I have to find it. You don’t understand.” I pace from my bed to my dresser. What if I asked Lucas for help? He’s the President. If anyone can get more, it’s him.
He won’t want a scandal, so he’d want to keep me from doing anything crazy, right? But what about what my grandma warned. I still don’t know how she became what she is. What if he knew about it and tried to have her killed?
I push my worry away and head to the first floor with Callum.
“We’ll figure something out, okay? Maybe there’s an alternative that won’t be so addictive,” he tells me as we walk down the stairs.
“Okay,” I say before we each head into our first-period classrooms. There’s no time to assure him it’s the fear of what will happen if I keep having visions that has me so desperate, not because I need some high to cope.
I pay absolutely no attention in Magical History, my thoughts too determined to find a solution to care about what Professor Simmons is saying.
Thankfully in second-period Dueling, our group has a break today. I spend the first half of class debating whether I can trust Lucas, and the second watching Callum’s group practice against another group.
Olivia casts a spell that strikes her opponent right in the chest. Micah grins at her approvingly before being hit by an immobilizing shot.
Callum laughs as Micah falls to the ground.
It’s down to Callum and Olivia against three others now.
As much as I want Callum to win, I’d like nothing more than to see Olivia get hit right in the face.
Not a very nice wish, I know. But we still haven’t spoken since the day after the bonfire, and I refuse to be the one to cave in. She’s the one who acted like I was a piece of trash that needed to be tossed away. And while maybe I could have worded things better, I meant everything I said about Jake.
He isn’t good for her.
Maybe someday she’ll see it, but until then, she isn’t the girl I became friends with.
Soon, it’s two versus two.
Callum hits an opponent with an illusion of a giant spider. The guy freaks out and backs up, right out of the dueling zone, before the spider even has to do anything.
Olivia high fives Callum.
She dodges a fire attack. It misses her, but her hand reaches outside the lines so she’s out too.
Now one versus one, Callum doesn’t mess around. The other girl sends fire at him, but he counteracts it with his own fire, creating a small explosion when the two spells collide.
Then he wastes no time and immobilizes her.
“What a battle,” Professor Lamberg says, practically drooling at Callum. It’s obvious he’s the favorite student.
I wonder what the teachers would think if they knew he’s so good because he’s already taken all of these classes.
Later in Incantations, we are taught a new spell.
“Everyone has been doing so well, I’ve decided to throw in an extra spell to test how far your individual magic can go,” Professor Belrose says. “You will each be given a rock to transfigure. Transfiguration is one of the hardest spells to master, but since each of you possess twice the magic of a normal Sorcerer, I have faith you will all be able to master it with practice.”
Rocks the size of my palm hover into the air from a large bucket next to her desk. One by one they float to each of us.
I take mine and set it on my desk.
“Transverto” is the incantation necessary. You must think of what you’d like the rock to mold into. It will be a temporary spell, and the more detailed the object you imagine, the harder it will be.”
The room goes silent as we all figure out what to try. At first, I consider turning it into some animal figurine or something cool, but I decide to start smaller. I glance at the pen sitting on my notebook to my right. I think it’s the right size, with a fairly simple shape but a few small details to make it fun.
I place my hand over the rock and close my eyes, picturing the pen as accurately as I can.
“Transverto,” I whisper. The better a Sorcerer masters a spell, the less verbalizing it aloud is needed. But this is brand new, so I have no choice but to speak it.
When I open my eyes, nothing has happened.
I glance around the room to see frustration on everyone’s faces. Even Callum, who’s sitting my row three desks down, looks annoyed.
I exhale and try again.
This time, I keep my eyes open and stare at the pen. “Transverto.”
I notice exactly where the tip begins to thin into a point, and how the opposite ends rounds into its own shape. I glance at the lid sitting next to the pen and disregard it. No need to make things too complicated.
When I look back to the rock, it’s changed shape. It isn’t quite as proportionately thin as the pen, but it’s definitely not a plain rock anymore.
“Fabulous, Wren.” Professor Belrose moves from Elaine’s desk in front of me to mine and lifts the rock-pen up for the whole class to see. “Our first success, everyone.”
Everyone stops their own attempts and glances to her hand. Callum winks at me, a playful smirk on his face. I wonder if this is a spell he hadn’t already learned.
Olivia presses her lips into a line as she looks at the rock-pen, completely avoiding my direction entirely.
As soon as the professor sets it down and continues to the group seated behind me, nauseousness strikes me.
My vision flickers from the back of Elaine’s head to the forest ground. The scent of the hunt fills, even when the flashes of forest cease.
I pull out my water bottle of tea and take a sip. The only way I’ve been able to up my dose is to drink it throughout the whole day instead of just in the morning. Today’s is already three-quarters empty, which means to calm the visions, I’ll have to up the dose even more.
Which is a huge problem because soon, I won’t have any at all.
Thankfully, everyone is too busy trying to mold their own rocks to pay attention to me, so I rest my head on my desk. The wood is cool against my cheek, subduing my queasiness just a little.
Within minutes, the tea kicks in and I’m feeling back to normal.
But without finding more poppy berry, I might never feel normal again.
Sixteen
Later that night, I ration out the rest of the poppy berry.
If I keep my dose the same as the past week, I have exactly one week left. Which means seven more days before I have no choice but to figure out a plan B.
It’s probably better to come up with some options sooner than later, but I decide to wait until Saturday to worry, giving me one last Friday night of fun.
Our group decides to hold a game night in the second-year common room. Elaine says it’s for team bonding, but really it’s to distract her from missing my brother. She hasn’t mentioned him since the night of the Halloween party, so I don’t know what their exact couple status is. But I know it isn’t good.
What starts out as a group hangout quickly becomes much more. Natalia asked to invite a couple of people who invited a couple more, which turned into more of a small party than a small hang out.
Usually, I’d have no issue with it.
But when Olivia walks in, I re
gret agreeing to allowing people outside of our group. By the time everyone has arrived, there’s my group, Olivia, Micah, their group member Daniel, and Callum and Zane.
Since I won’t actually leave, I refuse to let Olivia’s presence ruin my night.
We start out with a game of charades. So it doesn’t turn into our group versus everyone else, we draw random names to create the teams. My teammates are Zane, Micah, Natalia, and Garrett, leaving Elaine, Callum, Olivia, Van, and Daniel as our opponents.
I draw a card to act out first. I share the hint of “TV show” then read the card. Big Bang Theory.
All right. Not too bad. I start by stretching my arms out as far as I can.
“Wide!” Natalia says.
“Fat.” Micah guesses.
Close, but not quite.
I pinch my index finger and thumb together so they’re about an inch apart in front of my face.
“Small,” Natalia shouts.
I nod then widen my arms again.
“Big,” Garrett says, much less enthusiastically than Natalia’s guesses.
I nod and hold up a finger to signal it’s the first word.
As soon as I crash my fists together then split my hands apart, spread, Zane yells, “Big Bang Theory!”
“Yes!” I point to him. I lift my hands in the air twice. “Woot woot. Point for team awesome.”
Zane high fives me as I sit in between him and Natalia. “Remember when we had a Big Bang Theory marathon?”
“Yeah, the weekend my parents were supposedly on a business trip to Hawaii,” I say. I was so mad they didn’t take Beck and me with them. I didn’t understand. Beck was a senior and I was a sophomore, so they wouldn’t have had to babysit us the whole time. I grew up in a nice house, with drivers to take us places, and all the toys and clothes I ever wanted, but we almost never took family vacations like the other kids at my school.
“You were so determined not to care that you weren’t on a beach that we drank a whole bottle of tequila while watching the show.”
“Yeah and then we…” I stop, realizing I’m in a room full of other people staring at us. After enough shots of liquor, my need for revenge buzzed, so we went and had sex on their bed. And their bedroom floor. And shower. “Better get back to the game.”
I look away from Zane, who by his smirk clearly remembers that day perfectly well.
“Our turn.” Olivia grabs a clue and starts acting it out. She grabs imaginary hips and thrusts, and at first, I think she’s somehow making fun of me and my story with Zane.
“Sex and the City,” Callum says.
“That’s it.” Olivia claps.
We go back and forth until we’re ahead nine points to eight and it’s our turn. First person to ten wins. Since we went first, they would still have the chance to have one more turn, but if we get this answer correct, it’s impossible for them to win so the game would be over.
Zane stands up and picks a clue. The back of the card says, “song.” He reads it then grins.
Elaine starts the timer. “Go.”
Zane points to his eye, brings his hands together in the shape of a heart, then points at me.
“I love you,” Garrett guesses, clearly confused.
I freeze, not sure what Zane is saying or that I want to know what he’s saying.
He shakes his head then points to me again and pretends to dance with an imaginary partner.
He loves to dance?
Natalia makes a guess, but I don’t hear it. Eye, heart, pointing at me and dancing.
“I will always love you,” I yell louder than I mean to.
“You got it,” Zane says.
“The Whitney Houston song?” Elaine asks.
“It was the first slow song Wren and I danced to together at a school dance.” He doesn’t sit back down. “Now what game?”
We move onto CatchPhrase and play it for a while before Natalia and Van pretend to be tired. It’s clear they’re over games and want to move onto something else.
The eight of us remaining play Scategories for a bit, until it seems like most everyone is over it. We pick up and all head back to our rooms.
Not even a minute after I’m back to mine, someone knocks. I think it’s probably Elaine wanting to hang out or something, since she was the only one who didn’t seem ready to be done, but when I open the door, it’s Callum.
He moves toward me with no hesitation and kisses me.
His hands cup my face as he guides me backward. As his mouth devours mine, I give a quick flick of my hand and hear the door shut. Hand gestures aren’t required for spells, but I always find myself making them anyway.
“I didn’t like seeing you and Zane flirting.” His kisses move to my neck as he gently brings me down to my bed. “Picturing you two together drives me mad.”
“I don’t want to be with him,” I manage to get out as Callum’s hands slide underneath my shirt. “I want you.”
He nips at my neck as his fingers graze my ribs before moving up. One hand cups my breast while the other reaches around and unlatches my bra. He pulls me up enough that I take off my shirt and bra and toss them behind me. Then his mouth moves from my neck to my nipple. I close my eyes as lust consumes me.
My fingers find his hair and hold his face to my body.
Sensing my desire, his hand moves lower, unbuttoning my jeans and sneaking his hand into my panties.
It’s been so long since I’ve been this intimate with someone, and I’d nearly forgotten how much I crave it. I yank his shirt over his head and stare at his well-defined abs. Of course, he’s even sexier without clothes. I laugh and guide his chin up so I can kiss him again.
As my tongue grazes his lower lip, he lifts me up and tosses me to the top of my bed before pulling my jeans over my hips and down my legs.
“I’d forgotten how gorgeous you are,” he purrs as he takes in my nearly naked body. The only thing still in his way is my red lace panties, which he leaves alone. For now.
He removes the rest of his clothing, tossing them seductively to the floor.
I’d seen his good the night I got him off at the bonfire, but it was dark then. Now, having a full view of him, I have to say Callum might be a step-up from Sebastian.
He grins then grips my ankles and pulls me closer. He crawls to me, desire bright in his eyes until our lips are occupied again. After a few kisses, his mouth moves to my neck again, nibbling a path to my collar bone, over my breasts, and straight down my stomach until his teeth grip my panties and pull them off of me. Then he pleasures me until nothing fills my mind but my need for him.
My head falls back as I find my release. He doesn’t wait, entering me as my body enjoys the lingering effects.
When I finally open my eyes, I meet his lascivious stare.
I love this feeling. Being connected to someone else in the deepest way. Watching someone respond to my body with nothing but carnal desire. Knowing that right now, I’m the only thing in his thoughts.
His movement grows faster, taking me to another place as a new pleasure penetrates me.
My moans intensify with each thrust, and soon, with a final grunt, he surrenders.
He falls next to me, out of breath.
My heart still races as his arm brushes against mine.
“I didn’t realize how jealous you were.” I lean my head against his shoulder.
“Usually, I’m not. But you’re something else, Wren Jacobsen.”
I’ve always hated people calling me by my full name. It’s always made me feel boxed in. Like my most important characteristic was the family I was born into. And I’ve always wanted to be something else.
It’s why I’ve never cared about the stuff my parents wanted me to care about.
But now, as my name leaves his lips, another chill runs through me and I can’t keep my mouth from curling into a smile.
Seventeen
The last thing I remember from last night is dozing off next to Callum, my head on his bare chest.
When I wake up, he is gone, but there is a note in his empty spot saying what a great time he had with a sloppily drawn winky face.
I laugh and stick it on my bathroom mirror before hopping in the shower.
After I’m all cleaned up, I glance out the window and see the light gray clouds spread across the sky. I hurry to get a better view, and as I thought, snow covers the field below.
The first snow has always been one of my favorite things. By the time spring comes, I’m sick of the cold, icy weather. But there’s something exciting about the beginning of winter.
I stick on jeans, the most snow-proof boots I have, and a coat that’s spelled to keep me a toasty. On my way out of my room, I grab a beanie and slip it onto my head.
Soon, I’m in the courtyard with my face tipped toward the sky, letting the wet flakes crash into my face.
It’s only lightly snowing, but it’s wet enough to stick to the ground around me.
I extend my arms and spin around three times, a slight wave of dizziness washing over me.
I stop and wait for it to subside like it’s supposed to, but it doesn’t.
Instead, it worsens until the whole world moves around me like pieces of a puzzle floating in the air.
I hold my stomach and bend over, knowing I’m going to puke.
The last thing I see is the splotchy white ground before it all disappears.
I’m standing on a stage of some sort, looking out into a crowd of hooded figures. I reach my hand out to my side, and my creature presses its forehead into my palm.
“Things are going as we’d hoped,” I say.
Everyone below me drops to a knee and dips their heads in reverence. Pride quickens my heart rate. This is what I’ve been working for, and finally, everything is falling into place.
“Rise,” I command, and they all oblige. “Now, bring the sacrifice.”
A hooded figure drags a woman by a leash attached to the metal collar clipped around her neck. Her once pristine business outfit is covered in dirt from three days in the cell. She mumbles something from lips that have been spelled shut.
When her eyes find me, her fear deepens.
