Her soft, warm hand reaches up and grabs my wrist. "Maybe he tried to make me happy, but it wasn't real. He gave me the relationship he thought I wanted, but it was just a facade. He was cheating on me for a long time. Since Christmas or maybe even earlier."
I mask my inner struggle by stepping away and creating distance between us. "You don't know what you're talkin' about, Monika. Trey loved--"
"Stop!" she screams. "Trey Matthews was not the saint everyone thought he was." Her hands ball at her sides. "He manipulated me into thinking he was faithful, but he wasn't. He made me promise to keep his secrets, but kept a big one from both of us. Yes, he was smart and seemed to have it all. But it was fake as hell. And now I'm having these feelings for you, and I want to act on them."
"My world is a dark place, Monika. You don't want to go there with me."
"Maybe I do." Desire shines in her expressive eyes. "Take me away from reality, Vic. Make me forget that I'm drowning in the questions and lies and deceit."
"I'm not the guy to do that." I'll be too wrapped up in her softness and beauty. I won't want to let her go.
She closes the distance between us. "Let me escape and enter your world. Please. No drama, I promise."
Oh, hell.
She's watching me intently, waiting for my response. "Make love to me, Vic. Show me that I'm not alone. I feel so alone."
I almost chicken out, but then I clear my throat and stare at the creamy expanse of her neck and the hint of cleavage peeking out of her shirt. I want her so damn bad, for so many reasons. Who the hell am I kidding? I wouldn't be able to resist her any day of the week.
"You sure you want this?" I ask.
She swallows, hard. "Yes," she says in a breathless whisper.
Hell, I'm trying to keep my cool and pretend like this is just a favor I'm doing for a friend. Truth is, my emotions are a jumbled mess right now.
I'm going to shower her with passion, love, and affection tonight.
I just hope in the morning I can let her go. She asked me for an escape. She didn't ask for forever.
Chapter Forty-six
MONIKA
I can't believe this is going to happen. I'm excited and nervous and my legs are shaking, but I want this. Vic is the perfect person to hold me and make me feel like everything will be okay. I always feel safe when he's near and I know he won't hurt me.
He leans in and says in my ear, "Just relax and let me take care of you."
With him so close I can practically feel the electricity between us.
"Thank you," I say, trying hard to stop my voice from quivering.
He leans back and cocks a curious brow. "Thank you?"
"I mean... I didn't mean thank you. I meant yes, that's what I want." I slap a hand over my face. "I'm such a dork. I don't know what to say, Vic. I'm kind of out of my element here."
My heart races as his hand reaches for mine. I notice his raw knuckles from a fight he must have had at Club Mystique the other night when he confronted Bonk with his sister.
His gaze drops from my eyes to my chest and lower, making me wish he were holding me up because my body has become one big blob of nerves. Vic is confident and startlingly good-looking. I always knew it, but I just didn't look at him that way. Now I do and I'm suddenly feeling super self-conscious.
Just the anticipation of Vic touching me intimately makes my body lurch in excitement.
I try to keep my breathing steady, because I know this can mean everything to both of us if we let it.
"Follow me," he instructs, his voice full of desire.
My pulse quickens and I freeze. "Where are we going?"
"You didn't think we were gonna do it on the floor, did you?"
"I don't know," I say sheepishly. "I didn't really have a plan."
"Obviously. Come on," he says, taking my hand and leading me up the stairs to Isa's private apartment above the garage. It's not a big place, but it's cozy and cute. It's decorated with pictures of flowers on one wall and a bunch of pictures of people on the other. There's a picture of Vic and Isa in the shop. She's got a wrench in her hand, and she's holding it over him as if she's about to whack him with it. He's just got his arms crossed on his broad chest, unamused. It's so Vic.
He guides me in front of the couch and has me face him. His tawny skin is flawless, and his rippling muscles bulging from his T-shirt are a reminder that he's an incredible athlete who is strong and capable. I'm suddenly aching for his touch and my attraction to him is overwhelming.
Can he tell I'm more than ready to escape reality with him?
"Close your eyes," he says in a soft but demanding voice.
I feel dizzy, so I reach out for him. "You want to take away one of my senses?"
"You want to escape reality, don't you?" I feel the lightest tickle of his hands on my wrists, making little patterns with his fingertips. My skin tingles with each touch, making the dull pain of my arthritis fade away.
He lets go of my wrists and trails a path up my arms and shoulders to my neck. His touch is whisper-soft, almost like a feather. And when his fingers travel from my lips down my chin to my neck and then dip lower into my cleavage, my body is suddenly on fire.
"Vic, that feels amazing."
"Want me to keep going?" he asks, his breath a whisper away from my ear.
"Yes."
While his hands are tickling my sensitive skin, I feel those warm lips brush against mine.
"You like giving up some control?" he asks, kissing me once. Twice. When my tongue reaches out searching for his, suddenly his lips aren't there. He's pulled away.
It's torture.
"Kiss me," I order. "Now, please."
"Be patient. Don't rush this."
I feel the touch of his fingers as they circle one of my nipples over my shirt. His hand moves to the other one. Passion, like fire, whirls inside me and a moan escapes from my mouth.
"You like that?" he asks.
"I'm not telling," I answer, trying to muffle the little moans of pleasure as he gently flicks each sensitive tip.
"Your body is answering for you," he says, amusement in his voice.
He kisses me again.
And again.
This time I can't help it. The moan that escapes from my mouth echoes in the room. I'm glad nobody is downstairs because I'm sure if they were they could hear me.
When my tongue reaches out this time, his sweet mouth is right there waiting. We deepen the kiss.
"You taste so good," he whispers against my lips.
His sensual kisses are intoxicating, and his hand on the tips of my breasts, gently rubbing one then the other over my shirt, makes me want more.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, as he sits on the couch and guides me to straddle him.
I feel his unfamiliar, powerful, well-muscled body against my thighs. My mind is foggy from passion and desire, but I know that right now I want to be close to him and be held by him.
Nobody else.
I've suddenly forgotten about all my issues and troubles and everyone else. For the first time in a long time, I feel free. I want to focus on the here and now and not think about the world outside this little upstairs apartment.
I know this is Vic, the boy who wants to escape life and run away. But right now he's everything I want and everything I've been missing. I want to escape with him. Together we can find peace and feel a real connection, even if it only lasts this one night.
He sits almost motionless, except I can hear his rapid breathing. I want to affect him, to make him lose that control that he values so much just as I'm losing my control. I put my hands on his shoulders, bracing myself, then feel his muscles as I explore his body with my fingers.
"What are you doin'?" he asks, his voice ragged and slow.
"I'm taking control," I say, moving my hips against him the slightest bit. I can feel the heat of his body through my jeans.
He groans as I feel his hardness. "You're killin' me."
&n
bsp; Leaning forward, I whisper into his ear, "Why? Because you're afraid to admit you like it?"
"I'm not afraid to admit it, baby," he says. "I fuckin' love this. You're killin' me 'cause I'm holding back."
I can feel his heart beat hard and fast as I move against him at first slowly, then increase the pace. It feels good not to think about anything but this.
"Don't hold back anymore." I stop moving my hips as I roam my fingers over his biceps. "Touch me, Vic. Make me forget everything but being here with you."
He stills, as if thinking about it. "I want to do this," he says. "You have no clue how much I want to do this."
I grab him. "So don't hold back. Don't worry, I won't expect anything after tonight. We're just escaping reality, right?" My body is desperately aching for his touch. With one swift movement, I lift my shirt over my head, then take his hands and wrap them around my waist.
I lean in close so our lips are touching, because I love kissing this boy. He's got me in a trance and I don't want to let the feeling go. "Touch me, Victor Salazar."
He swears underneath his breath, then his hands are suddenly around my butt, urging me closer, as he sets the rhythm. Leaning down, I bury my hands in his thick hair and throw my head back.
His mouth is on the hollow of my throat, licking my pulse then kissing it. I can't remember my body ever tingling so much with excitement, especially when his tongue slides against my hot skin and moves lower... and lower.
"Tell me how much you like this." He groans the words against my skin.
When I feel his tongue trace a path outlining the edge of my bra, I start panting for more. "I wish you'd never stop," I tell him, urging him on as he reaches around my back. With one swift motion of his fingers, my bra is unhooked and falls to the floor. His back braces my spine, supporting me so my joints aren't tense.
His tongue travels up to my sensitive earlobe, then down to lick the parts of my body that feel like they're on fire.
Before I know it, my clothes are on the floor along with his, and we're naked.
"Look at me," he says, cupping my cheek in his hand. For an intense moment, I swear I can see his soul through his eyes.
It's suddenly too intense, too real.
I want to close my eyes because I'm feeling more vulnerable than ever. Emotions I didn't know existed threaten to come flying out in the form of tears.
I can't let that happen.
I swallow the wave of emotions running through me and will them to disappear forever. "Let's do this," I say.
His lips meet mine. At first, they're soft and sweet. My tongue reaches out for his, and I can't help but move my hips against his in a matching rhythm. He kisses me with a fierce determination that brings me to a higher level emotionally and physically. I've never felt like this. His tongue is wet and slippery against mine, and the sounds of our moans mingle with the night air.
I'm totally absorbed in the moment. I'm dizzy and lightheaded all at the same time, but it feels good like this. I feel alive. My worries and troubles seem to have disappeared.
"Are you okay?" he asks. "Can your arthritis handle this?"
"I'm good. More than good," I whisper.
I lift my body above him and am about to take this to the next level. I feel the pressure--there's no turning back now.
"Wait," he says in a strained voice. He grabs my waist and stops me. Reaching for his pants on the floor, he pulls out his wallet from the back pocket. Inside is a silver-foiled condom wrapper.
"Sorry I forgot about that," I say, hoping he doesn't notice that my voice is shaky.
"It's cool." He guides me over himself, this time with protection. "You're perfect," he says.
I lower my body over his as those sweet words seep into my soul.
But when I cringe as I try to move again, he pauses. "What's wrong? Am I hurtin' you?"
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothin'. It's your arthritis. You set the pace, baby."
He lets me figure out a rhythm until the pain eases and pleasure builds up right behind it. Vic's mouth is on me, and his hands roam over my skin, making me crazy with passion. His breathing is ragged as he moves slowly with me and caresses my back then moves his hand between us.
Oh, my. I've never... he knows his way around a girl's body, that's for sure. I can tell he's trying to support me with his hands so my joints aren't feeling so much pain.
Soon we're panting and sweating, and our hands are all over each other as we move together in sync for what seems like forever. I don't ever want it to stop.
I feel no pain. Just pleasure.
"I'm waiting for you," he whispers in my ear in a strained, controlled voice. "Don't hold back now, baby. Let go with me."
"I'm scared, Vic."
He laces his fingers through mine. "Don't be scared. We're here together. You're not alone."
His words hit home. I'm not alone. He's here. He'll protect me even when I forget to protect myself. I give up control up and let myself go.
Vic winces and I can feel him tense up. I look into his eyes. My body shudders uncontrollably as I fly to the stars and slowly come back to earth.
Wow.
I never knew it could be like that.
Our heavy breathing fills the air.
"I can't believe we did that," I mumble against his lips as my body starts to calm down. "I'm shaking."
"Me too." He brushes my hair out of my face. "That was intense."
My response is a satisfied sigh.
After lying in his arms for a few minutes, he sits up. "Don't tell anyone, okay?" he says.
"What do you mean?"
"I just don't want people knowin', that's all."
My heart sinks into my chest. "I'm not a kiss-and-tell person, but what if this wasn't a one-night thing?"
He looks at me sideways. "It has to be a one-night thing."
Those words cut right through me. I quickly stand. "You were right all along, Vic. You're a jerk. Asshole is more like it though."
He throws his hands up. "What do you want me to say? It's not like we can be boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Right. I don't want you to say anything," I exclaim with irritation as I pick up my purse.
"Fine. Great." He turns away, as if looking at me will make him regret everything that happened tonight.
"Listen, Vic, I didn't ask you to be my boyfriend or make some commitment to me if that's what you're worried about."
"I'm not worryin' about that, but..." He walks farther away, the distance between us growing with each step he takes. "There's no way we can be together. Trey was my best friend."
I feel like my oxygen is about to be cut off. "What about me being your friend? Trey is gone, Vic. I'm here. I'm your friend."
He turns to me now, his jaw clenched and his body stiff. "I don't make it a habit to fuck my friends. Or their girlfriends or ex-girlfriends."
"Because you have so many morals?" I roll my eyes. "You didn't have to have sex with me, Vic. Sorry I made you feel obligated. My bad."
In an attempt to regain what small amount of dignity I have left, I hold my head high and leave the little apartment and head down to the body shop. Vic struggles to put on his jeans as I hurry through the garage, heading for the front door. As I'm about to reach for the handle, someone suddenly opens the door, startling me.
It's Isa.
"What the fu--" she says, then immediately turns on the light and sees me and Vic standing in the shop. Vic is shirtless and his pants are still unbuttoned. I'm sure I look like a hot mess. "You scared the shit out of me, guys."
"Sorry. I stopped by because I wanted to talk to Vic... and, umm...," I say, sputtering out the words.
"I'll bet," she responds, then looks from him to me. "You guys okay? You both look like you're pissed at the world, or each other. Or both. You can stay here and work things out."
"I'm leaving because Vic doesn't want me here," I explain.
"That's not true," he chimes in, his voice as tens
e as his stubborn jaw.
I whip myself around. "Yes, it is. Don't lie."
"So everything's not really fine," Isabel says. "Why don't we all sit down and talk about it, shall we?"
"There's nothin' to talk about," Vic says as if he's a martyr who's sacrificing everything to aid me in my hour of need. "I already told her I'm sorry about everythin' that happened tonight."
Isabel's hand flies to her mouth and her eyes go all wide. "Whoa. What does 'everything' mean?" she asks in a muffled voice with her hand still over her mouth.
Vic doesn't acknowledge Isabel's question. Instead, he says, "I mean, you wanted me to hold you and help you escape. You said it would be this one night. You wanted this--"
Isabel walks over to Vic and waves her hand in front of his face. "Yo, Vic. Maybe you should stop talkin'."
"No, keep going," I say sarcastically, wanting nothing more than to slap his bitterness away. "You're on a roll. Why stop?"
He shakes his head. "I'm done."
"You sure?" I ask.
He nods. "I'm sure."
The last thing I want is for Vic to pity me or make me feel like I manipulated him into fooling around. But did I manipulate him into it? A wave of panic washes over me, because I didn't tell Vic the truth. I don't tell him that lately when I want the stress to go away I'm tempted to call him. I don't tell him that when I'm with him, everything else just seems unimportant. I don't tell him that a portion of me was relieved when I found out about Zara Hughes.
I poke his chest with my finger. "I'm not a charity case, Vic. I can do anything and everything on my own from now on."
"Obviously," he says as he looks down at my finger. "Hell, this was a one-night stand. You said it yourself."
"You keep telling yourself that," I say, then storm out of there.
Chapter Forty-seven
VICTOR
After Monika leaves the shop, Isa gives me one of her I'm-annoyed-with-you looks.
"What?"
She points to the sound of Monika's car. "Go after her."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
There are so many reasons why I can't follow her or lure her back here. "She wanted a one-night stand, Isa. An escape from reality. I was the dude she chose, but it's over. End of story."
Isa rolls her eyes, her Latina attitude coming out in all her gestures and body movements. "You're an idiot, Victor Salazar. A complete and utter idiot. You could actually write a book on it. The Idiot's Guide to being an Idiot."
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