by Daniel Defoe
to secure my wealth and to keep whatI had got; for I had greatly added to this wealth by the generous bountyof the Prince ----, and the more by the private, retired mode of living,which he rather desired for privacy than parsimony; for he supplied mefor a more magnificent way of life than I desired, if it had beenproper.
I shall cut short the history of this prosperous wickedness with tellingyou I brought him a third son, within little more than eleven monthsafter our return from Italy; that now I lived a little more openly, andwent by a particular name which he gave me abroad, but which I mustomit, viz., the Countess de ----; and had coaches and servants, suitableto the quality he had given me the appearance of; and, which is morethan usually happens in such cases, this held eight years from thebeginning, during which time, as I had been very faithful to him, so Imust say, as above, that I believe he was so separated to me, thatwhereas he usually had two or three women, which he kept privately, hehad not in all that time meddled with any of them, but that I had soperfectly engrossed him that he dropped them all. Not, perhaps, that hesaved much by it, for I was a very chargeable mistress to him, that Imust acknowledge, but it was all owing to his particular affection tome, not to my extravagance, for, as I said, he never gave me leave toask him for anything, but poured in his favours and presents faster thanI expected, and so fast as I could not have the assurance to make theleast mention of desiring more. Nor do I speak this of my own guess, Imean about his constancy to me and his quitting all other women; but theold harridan, as I may call her, whom he made the guide of ourtravelling, and who was a strange old creature, told me a thousandstories of his gallantry, as she called it, and how, as he had no lessthan three mistresses at one time, and, as I found, all of herprocuring, he had of a sudden dropped them all, and that he was entirelylost to both her and them; that they did believe he had fallen into somenew hands, but she could never hear who, or where, till he sent for herto go this journey; and then the old hag complimented me upon hischoice; that she did not wonder I had so engrossed him; so much beauty,&c.; and there she stopped.
Upon the whole, I found by her what was, you may be sure, to myparticular satisfaction, viz., that, as above, I had him all my own. Butthe highest tide has its ebb; and in all things of this kind there is areflux which sometimes, also, is more impetuously violent than the firstaggression. My prince was a man of a vast fortune, though no sovereign,and therefore there was no probability that the expense of keeping amistress could be injurious to him, as to his estate. He had alsoseveral employments, both out of France as well as in it; for, as above,I say he was not a subject of France, though he lived in that court. Hehad a princess, a wife with whom he had lived several years, and a woman(so the voice of fame reported) the most valuable of her sex, of birthequal to him, if not superior, and of fortune proportionable; but inbeauty, wit, and a thousand good qualities superior, not to most women,but even to all her sex; and as to her virtue, the character which wasjustly her due was that of, not only the best of princesses, but eventhe best of women.
They lived in the utmost harmony, as with such a princess it wasimpossible to be otherwise. But yet the princess was not insensible thather lord had his foibles, that he did make some excursions, andparticularly that he had one favourite mistress, which sometimesengrossed him more than she (the princess) could wish, or be easilysatisfied with. However, she was so good, so generous, so truly kind awife, that she never gave him any uneasiness on this account; except somuch as must arise from his sense of her bearing the affront of it withsuch patience, and such a profound respect for him as was in itselfenough to have reformed him, and did sometimes shock his generous mind,so as to keep him at home, as I may call it, a great while together. Andit was not long before I not only perceived it by his absence, butreally got a knowledge of the reason of it, and once or twice he evenacknowledged it to me.
It was a point that lay not in me to manage. I made a kind of motiononce or twice to him to leave me, and keep himself to her, as he oughtby the laws and rites of matrimony to do, and argued the generosity ofthe princess to him, to persuade him; but I was a hypocrite, for had Iprevailed with him really to be honest, I had lost him, which I couldnot bear the thoughts of; and he might easily see I was not in earnest.One time in particular, when I took upon me to talk at this rate, Ifound, when I argued so much for the virtue and honour, the birth, and,above all, the generous usage he found in the person of the princesswith respect to his private amours, and how it should prevail upon him,&c., I found it began to affect him, and he returned, "And do youindeed," says he, "persuade me to leave you? Would you have me thinkyou sincere?" I looked up in his face, smiling. "Not for any otherfavourite, my lord," says I; "that would break my heart; but for madamthe princess!" said I; and then I could say no more. Tears followed, andI sat silent a while. "Well," said he, "if ever I do leave you, it shallbe on the virtuous account; it shall be for the princess; I assure youit shall be for no other woman." "That's enough, my lord," said I;"there I ought to submit; and while I am assured it shall be for noother mistress, I promise your Highness I will not repine; or that, if Ido, it shall be a silent grief; it shall not interrupt your felicity."
All this while I said I knew not what, and said what I was no more ableto do than he was able to leave me; which, at that time, he owned hecould not do--no, not for the princess herself.
But another turn of affairs determined this matter, for the princess wastaken very ill, and, in the opinion of all her physicians, verydangerously so. In her sickness she desired to speak with her lord, andto take her leave of him. At this grievous parting she said so manypassionate, kind things to him, lamented that she had left him nochildren (she had had three, but they were dead); hinted to him that itwas one of the chief things which gave her satisfaction in death, as tothis world, that she should leave him room to have heirs to his family,by some princess that should supply her place; with all humility, butwith a Christian earnestness, recommended to him to do justice to suchprincess, whoever it should be, from whom, to be sure, he would expectjustice; that is to say, to keep to her singly, according to thesolemnest part of the marriage covenant; humbly asked his Highness'spardon if she had any way offended him; and appealing to Heaven, beforewhose tribunal she was to appear, that she had never violated her honouror her duty to him, and praying to Jesus and the blessed Virgin for hisHighness; and thus, with the most moving and most passionate expressionsof her affection to him, took her last leave of him, and died the nextday.
This discourse, from a princess so valuable in herself and so dear tohim, and the loss of her following so immediately after, made such deepimpressions on him that he looked back with detestation upon the formerpart of his life, grew melancholy and reserved, changed his society andmuch of the general conduct of his life, resolved on a life regulatedmost strictly by the rules of virtue and piety, and, in a word, wasquite another man.
The first part of his reformation was a storm upon me; for, about tendays after the princess's funeral, he sent a message to me by hisgentleman, intimating, though in very civil terms, and with a shortpreamble or introduction, that he desired I would not take it ill thathe was obliged to let me know that he could see me no more. Hisgentleman told me a long story of the new regulation of life his lordhad taken up; and that he had been so afflicted for the loss of hisprincess that he thought it would either shorten his life or he wouldretire into some religious house, to end his days in solitude.
I need not direct anybody to suppose how I received this news. I wasindeed exceedingly surprised at it, and had much ado to support myselfwhen the first part of it was delivered, though the gentleman deliveredhis errand with great respect, and with all the regard to me that he wasable, and with a great deal of ceremony, also telling me how much he wasconcerned to bring me such a message.
But when I heard the particulars of the story at large, and especiallythat of the lady's discourse to the prince a little before her death, Iwas fully satisfied. I knew very well he had done nothing but what anyman must do that had
a true sense upon him of the justice of theprincess's discourse to him, and of the necessity there was of hisaltering his course of life, if he intended to be either a Christian oran honest man. I say, when I heard this I was perfectly easy. I confessit was a circumstance that it might be reasonably expected should havewrought something also upon me; I that had so much to reflect upon morethan the prince; that had now no more temptation of poverty, or of thepowerful motive which Amy used with me--namely, comply and live, denyand starve; I say, I that had no poverty to introduce vice, but wasgrown not only well supplied, but rich; and not only rich, but was veryrich; in a word, richer than I knew how to think of, for the truth of itwas, that thinking of it sometimes almost distracted me, for want ofknowing how to dispose of it, and for fear of losing it all again bysome cheat or trick, not knowing anybody that I could commit the trustof it
