by Sarah Hope
‘And how about Luke? How’s he doing?’
Chrissy followed Laura’s gaze as she looked at a family photo above the sofa. She’d not noticed it before. It must have been taken a few years ago. Kane was just a baby, even Luke looked a lot younger as he held his youngest nephew up next to a Christmas tree. The way both the boys were clutching presents, it looked as though they had been to visit Santa.
‘He’s fine. Still living around the corner. He’s doing well building his property business.’ Natalie picked Poppy up from her playmat where she had begun to grizzle and placed her in her bouncy chair.
‘That’s good then.’ Laura looked down. ‘I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I’d stayed with him and not gone back to Phil.’
Stepping back, Chrissy refilled her pin cushion. She touched the back of her neck where Luke had last kissed her and ducked her head, hoping to shield herself from the blush she could feel rising. Laura still had feelings for Luke then, Gina had been right. She glanced quickly across at Natalie whose eyes were fixed on Poppy. Natalie knew this too. Did Luke still have feelings for Laura? What man wouldn’t? Look at her. She was every man’s dream.
‘These things happen for a reason though, Laura.’
‘I know, Nat. It just feels like the only reason me and Phil got back together was so he could waste some of what should have been the best years of my life, before publically humiliating me by refusing to marry me when I proposed to him.’
‘You proposed to him?’ Gina looked up, her gossip radar on full alert.
‘I did. I had waited years for him to pop the question and had convinced myself that he just didn’t know how, so I took the matter into my own hands. I had planned everything meticulously, I took him to a posh restaurant near where we lived and asked the waiter to put the ring in the fondue. You know, how they do in the movies. Everything was perfect, or it would have been if he hadn’t almost thrown up at the idea and stalked out of the restaurant leaving me on one knee and a violin quartet playing the Bridal Chorus.’
Gina passed her a tissue, which she used pat her eyes with. ‘That’s awful.’
‘I know. By the time I got home, naturally after a detour of all the pubs on the way, he’d moved out. He’d taken what he needed for the next few days and left a note.’
‘What did the note say?’
‘’Sorry’. Just ‘sorry’. Pathetic really.’
‘He’s the pathetic one, not you.’ Standing up, Natalie wrapped her arms around Laura’s slight frame.
‘That’s what everyone says, but it doesn’t stop me feeling the stupid one for not realising something was wrong.’
‘Sometimes you just don’t notice though. They hide it too well. Chrissy, tell her about your ex.’ Gina crossed her legs, settling back against the sofa cushions.
‘Not much to tell really. We split up after he had an affair with an old school friend. I didn’t know until he said that he wanted us to sell the house because he was leaving me for her. He’s moved in with her now.’
‘That’s shocking.’ Laura placed her hand on Chrissy's arm. ‘How awful for you.’
‘To be honest. I’m slowly realising it was the best thing that could have happened. I’m so much happier now.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. It’s only now, being apart from him, that I realise what he was really like. He was quite controlling and now, well, I’m in control. I decide what we do. I manage the money. It’s all down to me, and it's quite liberating really.’
‘That’s really inspiring. I wish I could feel the same about my split from Phil.’
‘It took some time, don’t get me wrong. For ages I felt as though my world had been torn apart and shaken, but now, things are good.’
‘See, so there is hope, Laura. You just need to believe in yourself a bit more.’ Natalie sat back down on the floor next to Poppy’s bouncy chair.
‘That’s what everyone says but I don’t know if I’ll ever get over how he treated me.’
‘You will. Just give yourself time.’ Natalie smiled. ‘Anyway, we’ll find you a new man on Friday night.’
‘I don’t think I can...’
‘Oh, you can make it. All of the wedding party are coming. You’ll come too, won’t you, Chrissy?’ Natalie looked across at Chrissy and smiled.
‘Sorry?’
‘We’re all going out into town on Friday. I’ve booked out a room at that posh restaurant down the High Street and then we’re going to hit the clubs. It’ll be a laugh. Most of us haven’t set foot in a club since we were teenagers!’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Go on, please? I’d be wearing a bin bag to my wedding if it wasn’t for you. You must come, your ex has the twins this weekend, right?’
‘Yes, but...’
‘No excuses then. From either of you.’ Natalie looked from Chrissy to Laura and back again.
Chrissy smiled and carried on pinning the bodice. It was nice of Natalie to see her a friend and include her, but she hadn’t been out properly in years, not even to a nice restaurant. She shrugged. She should force herself to go, to step out of her comfort zone. She might actually enjoy herself. Besides, Luke would presumably be going. It would be nice for them to spend some time together.
‘Is Luke going?’ Laura looked across to Natalie.
Jerking her head up, Chrissy pricked her finger with a pin. Laura did want Luke back.
‘Of course, he is her brother!’ Gina giggled. ‘I take it you want him back?’
‘No, I...I just wondered. I haven’t seen him in ages and it would be nice to catch up, that’s all.’
‘Ok, whatever you say.’ Gina laughed and rubbed her bump.
‘Right, that’s the bodice done. Is there anywhere else that you want altering?’ Stepping back again, Chrissy could see there was no comparison between her and Laura. If Laura wanted Luke back, she’d get him. She’d only have to bat her mascaraed eyelashes at him and he’d be straight back to her. Chrissy bit down on her bottom lip, she wouldn’t think about it now.
‘No, I don’t think so. It looks a hundred per cent better already.’
‘Well, if you’re happy with it, you can change back, just go careful with the pins, and I’ll make the adjustments. If you’re back here at the weekend, I’ll get it done before then and if you’ve got a spare ten minutes you can try it on and check you’re happy with it.’
‘That sounds great, thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
CHUCKING ANOTHER LOG on the wood burner, Chrissy sat on the rug in front of it and watched the fire dance around the new log before clutching it into the orange flames.
It was probably for the best, Laura wanting to get back with Luke. It was probably too soon for Chrissy herself to be falling for someone anyway. Yes, Andrew had, but he had been having an affair with Susan so obviously the marriage vows they had taken were meaningless to him. Chrissy wiped the back of her sleeve across her face, they had meant something to her. She had never expected to be left as single mum struggling to provide a safe and stable home for her two daughters. She and Andrew had meant to grow old together.
Running her fingers through the long pile on the rug, she let her fingers sink into the warmth of the wool. That wasn’t going to happen now though, and if she were honest with herself, the thought of spending any longer in a partnership with Andrew, let alone growing old with him, made her feel sick. No, she was better off on her own. She felt far less lonely than she had when she’d been in a relationship with him anyway. It was just going to take some time to adjust to the fact that what she thought her future had looked like didn’t belong to her any more.
And, after Luke met up with Laura again, he wouldn’t be interested in Chrissy anymore. Laura was everything she wasn’t, beautiful, a successful businesswoman, independent. When Luke realised Laura wanted to get back with him, he wouldn’t look twice at Chrissy. Why would he settle for someone who had just as much emotional baggage as physical baggage? The not
-been-cut-for-three-years hair which often got so knotty in the morning she had to tie it up in a loose bun hoping nobody would look too closely, reflected the part of her that believed she was not worthy of spending money on. She was trying to claw her way off of a future on benefits and begin her dressmaking business, but it would never earn her what Laura clearly earnt. And, yes, she was independent, but after years of being led to believe she wasn’t capable of filling up the car, driving in the dark or making any decisions, she was still a long way from viewing herself as the strong, single mum she aspired to be.
No, Luke would be daft to choose her over Laura and he clearly wouldn’t. Plus, Luke clearly still had feelings for Laura, he’d acted strange earlier when she’d popped round his for coffee and he hadn’t wanted to say Laura’s name when he’d been talking about the dress fitting.
Standing up, Chrissy grabbed her coat and gloves. Looking in the mirror before she went outside, she patted her cheeks dry. Why did she feel more upset over the thought of losing Luke than she had when Andrew had told her he didn’t love her anymore? She shrugged, she guessed she’d seen it coming with Andrew, whereas Luke had seemed perfect.
Chapter 16
‘Mum! We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up!’
Wiping her mouth with a tissue, Chrissy stood up. ‘One minute.’
‘Come on.’ Even Evie sounded impatient. They weren’t usually this eager to get to school.
It was no good, Chrissy leant over the toilet bowl again and heaved. She must have caught a bug, even the smell of the twins’ breakfast cereal had sent her to the bathroom earlier. And she’d had to give up trying to make their packed lunches, she’d have to root around for some change for school dinners instead.
‘LOVE YOU, EVIE. LOVE you, Sophia. Have a good day.’ Waving them into the school office, Chrissy turned and pulled her gloves back on.
‘Hi.’
‘Luke. Hi.’ Looking behind her, she contemplated making up some excuse as to why she had to go back into the office. She shook her head, she recognised the parent stood talking to the receptionist as the head of the PTA, if she did go back in she’d be there ages waiting to be seen. Plus, she couldn’t avoid Luke forever. The village was only tiny, they would be constantly running into each other, until he moved back to London with Laura of course.
‘Are you ok? You didn’t answer my messages last night.’ Touching Chrissy on the arm, Luke looked at her.
‘Sorry. I’ve just not been feeling too good. I think I must have caught some bug or something.’ Glancing down at her trainers, she looked back into his eyes, the pale blue pulling her closer. He deserved to know what was going on and so did she. ‘Actually, have you got a couple of minutes? Can I have a quick word?’
‘I've always got time for you, you know that. Here, come back to mine, I want to get your opinion on the suit Graham wants me to wear to their wedding, but don’t laugh. It’s a bit old-fashioned.’ Luke frowned, his ash blond hair momentarily covering his eyes before he blew it away.
‘I WANT YOUR HONEST opinion, ok? Don’t say it looks nice just so you don’t offend me. I’m a big boy now, I can take criticism and I’d rather know if I’m going to be looking a numpty all day than thinking I look like James Bond, ok?’ Holding her hand, Luke guided her upstairs and into his bedroom. ‘Sit down and get comfy.’
Chrissy lowered herself to his bed, slipping out of her coat. This was going to be so hard, but she needed to know where she stood with him. She picked at a bit of fluff on his navy blue duvet cover and rolled it around her fingers as he disappeared into the ensuite to change into his suit.
‘Close your eyes.’
Doing as she was asked, she took a deep breath in, she could smell his distinctive aftershave as he came through the door.
‘Now, remember you promised not to laugh, so no going back on a promise. I don’t want our relationship to be based on a lie either though, so be honest about how it looks, ok?’
Nodding, Chrissy could hear the suppressed laughter in his voice. She almost found it funny herself, only it wasn’t quite so funny when she thought about him choosing Laura over her.
‘Open!’
Opening her eyes, Chrissy smiled, the dark grey suit highlighted the blue of his eyes and the red cravat empathised the blonde of his hair. ‘You look gorgeous.’
‘Even with the top hat?’ He balanced a black top hat on his head, the wave of his hair flicking out from underneath.
‘Even with the hat.’
‘And the tails? The tails are too much, aren’t they? I feel like I’ve just stepped out of a Charles Dickens’ novel.’ Spinning around, the tails from his suit jacket flapped against the top of his legs.
‘No, they’re just right. You look really sexy.’
‘Then why do you look as though you’re worrying about something rather than trying to rip my clothes off?’
Shifting on the bed, Chrissy scratched the back of her neck.
‘Chrissy?’ Joining her on the bed, he put his arm around her.
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘I do indeed.’
‘Ok, well, yesterday I altered your ex’s bridesmaid dress.’
‘Laura’s? So?’
‘Luke, it’s not that difficult to work out.’ Chrissy pulled away from his arm and twisted herself on the bed, bringing her legs up beneath her.
‘Ok, maybe I’m just being daft, but I don’t know where you’re going with this.’ Holding his hands up as if to surrender, he frowned, his forehead crumpling.
‘She’s beautiful.’ She coughed.
‘Yes, she is, but so are you.’ Turning around, he looked her in the eyes and smirked. ‘Are you feeling insecure?’
‘No, of course not. It’s hardly serious between us yet anyway. Why would I?’ Looking away, Chrissy chewed on a jagged nail, Laura wouldn’t have jagged nails.
‘Well, that’s me told, I guess.’ Standing up, Luke loosened his cravat.
‘I didn’t mean I didn’t want it to be. I just meant...’ Placing her thumb and forefinger on her temples, she pressed down, hoping it would relieve a little of the tension.
‘I know. I get it. You’ve been hurt before. Your husband left you for his ex-girlfriend. You’re probably thinking I’m going to get back with Laura but, if you think about it properly, don’t you think I would have got in contact with her when her boyfriend, Phil, left her?’
Chrissy looked at the floor before looking back up at him. ‘I guess so. I didn’t think about it like that.’ But did he know she was interested in him? Should she tell him or would she just be feeding him straight into her hands?
‘I’m honestly not interested in her in the slightest. You, on the other hand, I am very interested in and I thought things were getting serious between us? I know we can’t tell anyone because of your girls, but I am falling for you.’
‘I’m sorry I guess I just said that because I wanted you to feel like you could back out of us if you wanted to get back with her.’ Chrissy drew a star with her finger on the duvet.
‘I don’t want to back out of anything. Now, come here and help me get out of this suit.’ Luke pushed her down gently on the bed, kneeling over her.
Swallowing, Chrissy tried to stop the bile rising in her throat. It was no good. Rolling out from underneath him, she ran to the ensuite.
‘I’M SORRY.’ SINKING her back against Luke’s chest, she wiped her mouth with a tissue.
‘And I thought you said I looked sexy in this suit.’ Gently touching her forehead, Luke kissed her on the top of her head. ‘You don’t feel as though you’ve got a temperature. Have you got a stomach ache or anything?’
‘No, I just keep feeling sick. I’m sorry to kill the mood.’
‘Nah, we’ll just have to make the most of the suit at the wedding and find a quiet spot somewhere.’
Chrissy smiled, trust him. ‘Very funny.’
‘Have you had any breakfast? Maybe its because you’ve not eaten.’
‘No, don’t.’ Holding her hand over her mouth, she took a deep breath and tried to imagine the rain pelting down outside. ‘Even the thought of food...no. I’ll be ok. I think I’m just going to go home and have a lay down.’
‘Good idea. I’ll get changed and walk you back. You need to be on top form tonight for the carol service.’
‘Oh yes, I’d forgotten about that.’
‘OFF YOU GO TO THE FRONT then, girls. Just say excuse me please and people will let you through. Love you both.’ Standing on her tiptoes, Chrissy watched as Evie and Sophia made their way through the crowds to the stage set up in the middle of the green.
‘Hi there, I grabbed you a hot chocolate from the stall over there.’ Sidling up to her, Luke held out a Styrofoam cup.
‘Hot chocolate? This village certainly knows how to organise a carol service.’ Slipping her gloves off, she wrapped her hands around the cup. ‘Thank you.’
‘Hi, Chrissy.’ Natalie and Graham joined them, Poppy strapped to Graham’s front in her baby carrier. ‘It’s always a good show. The kids love it too, especially when the Christmas lights get turned on at the end.’
‘Oh, I didn’t realise that.’
‘Yes, they started it a few years ago now, when Kane was a baby, I think.’ Natalie looked across at Graham who nodded in agreement. ‘They started off picking someone from the audience to turn them on but now they choose a couple of school kids to do it.’
‘Where we used to live they always tried to get some z-lister to turn them on, you know someone who had been on some reality TV show once ten years earlier or something. It’s nice that they let the school take charge of switching on the lights, it keeps it as a real village celebration.’
‘Exactly.’ Natalie turned to Graham, placing her hand on top of Poppy’s head. ‘Do you think she’s warm enough?’
‘Are you feeling any better?’ Leaning towards her, Chrissy could feel the warmth of Luke’s breath on her cheeks.
