That was what he didn’t know. She loved him.
Now she needed to somehow convince him that the woman he wanted could also become the wife he needed. The wife who could show him how to love again. He didn’t need to marry someone from some dating agency, or any other woman for that matter. He needed to marry her. She knew him. Understood him. And more important, she loved him.
It was time she fought for the man she loved.
Now she needed to come up with a strategy to make things work in her favor. For the past five years she’d worked for Garth as his private pilot. Those times she doubled as his private chauffeur, she’d had a listening ear to how he transacted business while in the back seat of a limo. He was a brilliant strategist, so she’d learned from the best. Now she could put that knowledge into action.
She would use his desire to her advantage. She’d build on his desire and go from there. Regan was about to embark on one of the most important missions of her life. She had never seduced a man before, but she’d read enough romance novels to have an idea about how it was done.
What if she failed? What if he never loved her? Knowing Garth, he would still do all the things that would truly matter, for the woman he chose as his wife. He would respect her, be faithful to her, honor her and protect her. In his own way, he would even adore her, although he might not ever truly love her.
Regan decided then and there that even if Garth never fell in love with her, she had enough love for the both of them.
* * *
Garth paced his bedroom knowing he’d blown things with Regan. It wouldn’t surprise him if she was in her bedroom packing. How could he have been so stupid to admit something like that to her in the name of being honest.
No matter how he’d tried explaining things to her, it had gone from bad to worse. He wouldn’t be surprised if she took Harold Anders’s job offer now. Hell, it would serve Garth right if she did.
He stopped pacing. He needed to talk to someone, confess to being stupid and have that person agree with him. Pulling his phone out of his back pocket, he called Walker.
“Hello?”
“You awake, Walker?”
“Awake? Man, it’s daytime here.”
Garth had forgotten about the time difference. “I forgot.”
“Whatever. And since I know it’s nighttime there, is there a reason you’re calling me and not in bed with that woman? The one you met through the dating service?”
“She didn’t show due to a mix-up in dates.”
“Oh. So now you’re alone and bored with nothing to do.”
“I’m not exactly alone. Regan’s here with me.”
“Regan is always with you, Garth. She’s your pilot.”
Walker didn’t get his meaning. “Regan was to leave after dropping me off and then come back for me in two weeks. I convinced her to stay.”
“Oh.”
He still wasn’t sure Walker got it. “I want her, Walker. I want Regan.”
His best friend laughed. Walker was honestly laughing.
“What the hell is so funny?” Garth asked.
“You. It took you long enough to figure that out, Garth. You don’t think I haven’t noticed that you want Regan? Hell, even Bailey noticed it. Why do you think she suggested you invite Regan to the Westmoreland Charity Ball?”
Garth rolled his eyes. “That’s not possible. I only started wanting Regan at that ball.”
“Wrong.”
Garth frowned. “Wrong?”
“Yes, wrong. I began noticing how taken you were with Regan long before then. It might have been the night of that charity ball before you finally admitted it to yourself, but trust me. It’s been long before that night. A year or so before. Maybe even longer.”
Garth’s frown deepened. Had it? As if Walker could read his mind, he said, “Trust me, Garth. I’m your best friend. I notice things, especially when they concern you.”
“Then why the hell didn’t you say something?”
Walker chuckled. “It wasn’t my place. Besides, I was dealing with my own issues with Bailey. If you recall, I was fighting my own battles against falling in love. I didn’t have the time or inclination to take on yours.”
Garth leaned against the dresser in his room. “Love? Who said anything about love? I want Regan. I didn’t say anything about loving her. You of all people know I could never love any woman but Karen.”
Walker didn’t say anything for a minute. “So, why are you calling?”
Garth rubbed his hands down his face. “I told you. I want Regan. Desire got the best of me. With us under the same roof, I told her I wanted her.”
“And?”
“And I also told her all I wanted was an affair and nothing more.”
“Okay. That’s fair. You told her what to expect and what not to expect, which is what all men should do with women. So, what’s the problem? Regan is a grown woman. She either agrees to the affair or she doesn’t.”
“That’s not all I told her.”
“What else did you say?”
“I told her that the woman who didn’t show up here, the one from the dating service, was someone I had contemplated marrying.”
“And?”
“And that although I wanted Regan way more than I wanted that woman, I could not consider marrying her.”
“You actually told Regan that?”
“Yes, but I tried to explain why. I don’t want Regan to settle for a loveless marriage. She deserves more.”
“I agree Regan deserves more, but I think you made a mistake in telling her that. Think about it, Garth. You’re willing to marry a woman you’re not even sure you’d want. Yet you know you want Regan, but aren’t willing to marry her.”
“I told you why.”
“Yes, and if you’ll recall, after Kalyn, I swore I would never fall in love again, either.”
“Our situations are different, Walker.”
“I’ve discovered a person’s heart can expand to include others if they’re willing to let them in.”
Garth threw his head back and closed his eyes. Those would be emotions he never wanted to feel again. Emotions he doubted he could feel. “I can’t.”
“You can’t, Garth? Or you won’t? Think about it.”
Thirteen
“Good morning, Garth.”
The hot coffee nearly scalded Garth’s tongue. Regan had entered the kitchen wearing a pair of skintight leggings and a long pullover top. Her hair was pinned up on her head with a few ringlets around her face. Why did she have to look so desirable this morning? So darn refreshed? On top of that, she smelled so darn good. She looked nothing like he felt, which was absolutely lousy.
After talking to Walker, he hadn’t gotten much sleep. He felt even more like an ass for asking her to sleep with him when there would be no benefit for her other than the promise of great sex. Regardless of what Walker had insinuated, only one woman could or would ever have his heart.
“Good morning, Regan. I hope you slept well,” he said, studying her and trying to decipher her mood.
“I slept great. I see Paulo’s been here,” she replied, checking out the platters of food Paulo had left warming on the stove.
He was about to answer when she moved to lift a lid and a shaft of sunlight came through the window blinds. The ray of light seemed to shine directly on her. She looked even more beautiful then. He couldn’t help noticing the shape of her face from this angle, how refined it looked and what a graceful pair of shoulders she had. He had noticed those same shoulders last night and had wanted to place kisses all over them. He still did.
She’d obviously expected him to say something. But when he didn’t, she glanced over at him and caught him staring, and he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t been.
Lifting a brow, she asked, “Is something wrong, Garth?”<
br />
He swallowed deeply. So much for trying to maintain his control with her today. “No, nothing is wrong.” Then trying to regain his common sense, he added, “You might want to try the baked cinnamon apples. They’re good.”
“Um, I think I will.”
He broke eye contact to resume eating, but he was aware of every move she made around the kitchen. She finally came to the table and sat down, taking the same chair she’d sat in last night.
“I guess you didn’t go hiking after all,” she said, after saying grace.
“No. I decided to put it off for another day.” He was trying like hell to decipher her mood. He was convinced that when she’d left him in the kitchen last night, she’d been madder than hell. Now it was as if their conversation had never taken place. As if he hadn’t proposed having an affair with her. Was she going to pretend it had never happened?
“About last night, Garth...”
Maybe she wasn’t.
“Yes, what about it?”
“Your proposition. What time frame are you talking about for the affair, Garth?”
Did that mean she was considering it? A certain part of his anatomy wanted to leap for joy, but he refused to let it. “That will be up to you, Regan. Whatever you decide. However, if you decide to extend it beyond our time here, there’s something you’ll need to consider.”
“What?”
“Are you willing for the affair to go public? You work for me and the last thing I want to do is to tarnish your good name. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“So, you would want us to sneak around?”
He could tell by her accusing tone that was honestly what she thought. “No. It wouldn’t bother me if anyone knew we were seeing each other. I was merely thinking of your reputation, Regan. I don’t want to hurt you in any way. I feel like a selfish ass even suggesting we have an affair, but...”
“But what, Garth?”
“I desire you more than I’ve ever desired any woman before. I should be able to walk away, but I can’t. And that kiss we shared last night only made things worse.”
“You said that last night and that’s what I don’t understand. You claim you desire me more than any woman before. Does that include Karen?”
He didn’t say anything for a long while. She had every right to ask that. Hopefully, he would be able to explain and do a better job than he had last night. “Karen and I connected on a level beyond sexual chemistry. The desire was there, but not of this magnitude. When you’re somewhere defending your country, desire and passion have to be placed on the back burner.”
He paused. “There’s nothing sexy about combat uniforms and fatigues. Karen and I managed a few stolen moments, but not many. We knew our situation was only temporary and there would be more time for the physical once our deployment ended and we returned to the States. That never happened, but there is no doubt in my mind that had Karen lived, and we had married, my desire for her would be a hell of a lot greater than what I feel for you, because she would have been my wife.”
She didn’t say anything, just continued to look at him. He couldn’t help but wonder if his explanation had made things even worse.
“Thanks for explaining that, Garth. I fully understand now and I’ve made a decision.”
He swallowed. “And what have you decided?”
“I will have an affair with you, Garth. However, it has to be short-term, only while we are here. Like you said, I have a reputation to protect.”
He nodded. “Can I ask how you reached your decision?”
“Yes. You want me, and I want you, as well. More than I’ve ever wanted any man. I know what we’re feeling is just a physical thing based on sexual need. Therefore, I need to get it on with you and move on.”
Get it on with him and move on?
Move on to where? To whom? Did it matter as long as he spent time with her? If she could handle the type of relationship he’d proposed, shouldn’t that be all that mattered?
“Are you sure about this, Regan?”
A smile touched her lips. “I’m sure. But I do need the name of that dating service you used.”
He nearly choked on his coffee. “Why?”
“I’m thinking of giving them a try,” she said, biting into one of the baked apples.
“Clearly, you’re joking.”
“Why would I be joking?”
“Because I told you about the women who apply to that agency.”
She nodded. “Yes, women looking for a future with a man who would suit them and vice versa. I found the whole thing fascinating. I did online dating a few years ago and it was a total disaster. The guy wasn’t at all what I thought he would be.”
“Then why try it again?”
“Because according to you, this dating service is good at vetting people and they have an exclusive clientele. That’s what I want. It sounds like their male clients would be of the caliber I’d like to meet.”
He scoffed at that. “You need to meet someone who will fall in love with you, Regan.”
“Is there a reason you think I won’t? Do you think a man can’t fall in love with me?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” he said, trying not to grit his teeth.
“Then what are you saying, Garth?”
That was a good question. “Nothing.”
She frowned at him. “No, I think you were trying to say something.”
Garth broke eye contact with Regan. The last thing he wanted was to make her mad with him. He knew she dated, so why would it bother him how she went about obtaining those dates? She had every right to use that dating service if that was what she wanted to do.
“You know what I think, Garth?”
He looked back over at her. She was still frowning. “No, Regan, what do you think?”
“I think you assume I’m not good enough to go through that agency. That the women who do are polished, refined and sophisticated and you can’t see me as any of those things. You can’t see me as a wife to any of those men.”
“That’s not true.”
“I think it is. Need I remind you that I went to an all-girls private school until I was sixteen, and that I can play the piano, speak six languages fluently, and I’m an ex-model, so I know a lot about fashion and poise. I can fly a plane, ride a motorcycle and shoot very well. I also like camping. I think I have a lot going for me and can hold my own.”
He of all people didn’t need to be told about her many skills and attributes. He knew them well. The one he didn’t know about was her skill in the bedroom. That was the only one he was interested in right now.
“Of course, you can hold your own, Regan. All I’m saying is that most men who use that dating service might be looking for a wife, but they aren’t looking for love. Are you willing to marry someone who doesn’t love you?”
“I would think any man is capable of falling in love if the right woman came along, Garth. Except for you, and you’ve explained your reasons. Any man of wealth and influence has access to a variety of women if all they want to do is date or take care of their physical needs. A man using that caliber of dating service is looking for more and that’s what I want, too. Just because you’re not looking for love in a marriage doesn’t mean every man who uses that dating service feels the same way.”
She had a point there. Other men might not have an aversion to falling in love with the woman the dating service selected for them. There was no doubt in his mind that any man who chose Regan would be wowed by her. She was beautiful and accomplished. He could see any man falling in love with her.
“So when we return to Fairbanks, I’d like the information for the service so I can contact them before the holidays.”
He pushed his plate aside, trying to hide his annoyance. “Why the rush?”
“No rush. I just figure that like most co
mpanies, they will have limited hours around the holidays. If I get my information in now, maybe by early spring I will have viable prospects. I will be twenty-nine by then. It would be nice to have someone special to celebrate my birthday with.”
For some reason he felt a chill at the thought of her spending her birthday with anyone other than his family, like she had this year. Since Franklin had moved to Florida, Charm had known it would be Regan’s first birthday without her father, so Charm had hosted a dinner party in Regan’s honor at the Outlaw Estates. Even Bart had joined them.
“I’ll make sure you get the information when we return to Alaska.”
She smiled over at him. “Thank you, Garth.”
Why did she have to sound so happy about it, and why did he feel like a selfish ass again? He wanted to have an affair with her with no promises of a future, but he was getting annoyed that she wanted to meet someone who could give her the love he couldn’t.
He pushed the negatives to the back of his mind and decided to concentrate on the positives. Right now, the main positive was that she’d agreed to have an affair with him.
“What are your plans today?” he asked.
She shrugged. “It’s too late to go hiking, so what do you suggest?”
He would suggest they head straight to the nearest bedroom, but as much as he desired her, he wanted her to decide when they would become intimate. “Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I told Paulo that he didn’t have to return for the rest of the day. That means I’ll be doing all the cooking today,” he said.
“I’ll help,” she said as she stood to take their plates.
He watched as she walked over to the counter, loving the way her knit sweater fit over her leggings and across her backside. After placing the dishes in the sink, she turned and caught him staring again.
A smile touched the corners of her lips. “I just thought of something I’d like to do today.”
“You did?” he asked in a voice that sounded almost too deep to be his own.
“Yes.”
The Wife He Needs Page 10
