by J. R. Ward
The All-Nighter, as the place was called, was your standard diner, with a blinking sign outside and a row of bar stools at the counter inside. There was an annex that had tables, and waitresses who were bored and hostile, and a loyal clientele of which he was a member. On the menu? Free coffee, pie that was to die for, and breakfast around the clock--as well as a Reuben that could make you see God every time you bit down.
His normal table was in the back by the emergency exit, and the waitress who worked the night shift jerked her head in that direction.
Which was her way of saying, Hey, good to see you again. Your favorite spot's open, and I'll bring you your coffee ASAP. Oh, and glad you brought the wife with you this time.
Given everything that was going on, the lack of cheerful interaction was a serious bene.
He and Mary took their seats. Coffee was served in heavy mugs. Rhage got the banana cream, Boston cream, and a slice of apple. Mary got a second fork for sampling.
Before he dug in, he put his phone right out on the Formica tabletop. Just in case, you know, reception was bad in the pocket of his leather jacket.
They sat in silence, that cell with its unlit screen between them like a fucking black hole in space, sucking all matter and energy into it.
Mary sipped her coffee. Left that fork where it was on the folded-up paper napkin. From time to time, she looked around at the mostly empty tables.
"You know what I like about this place?" she murmured.
"The pie?" he said between bites. Which were all texture, no taste tonight.
"Well, yes. But it's so bright in here. Usually, at night, everything is dim. I never really noticed this until I came to live with you and started doing the night-is-day, day-is-night thing. Like, for some reason, humans tend to make the insides of all restaurants dim after sundown. Here, though, it reminds me of what it's like to be out during the day."
"Do you resent the changes?" he asked, wiping his mouth. "You know...in your life?"
"Not at all." Her eyes swung over to his. "I have you, and that makes everything better."
"Not in this situation with Bitty, it doesn't."
"Nothing could make that any better."
"Too right."
He pushed the banana cream plate away with half the slice still on it. He didn't know why he'd ordered the damn thing. He wasn't a big fan of bananas, and even with the crunch of the graham cracker crust, there was a uniformity of texture between the custard and the cream that kind of made him gag.
It was the reason he couldn't do key lime. Or chocolate mousse...
God, he was really hurting, wasn't he. If he was debating desserts in his head.
"You didn't like that?" Mary remarked.
"Not really. But I thought I'd try something new."
Yeah, 'cuz this was a night to expand your horizons. Or maybe try out the theory that there was a keep-your-daughter god who required you to override your gag reflex as tribute.
"I've been here to eat so many times," he said as he pulled the apple in for a landing. "For years and years. And I never thought it was going to be part of our story, you know?"
Because sure as hell, he was going to remember exactly where they were sitting now and what he was eating and how Mary looked until he was dead.
"I know exactly how you feel," she murmured.
As he set to work on his number two, he looked around at the other people, the two over there by the window, the three spaced out evenly on stools at the counter.
Who the fuck knew what was going on in their lives, good or bad. After all, there was a tendency to assume that the anonymity of strangers translated into calm, clear slates for their lives, but that was just bullshit. Everyone had drama. You just didn't know what it was if you didn't know them.
"What do they say about life?" he muttered. "Nobody gets out of this alive?"
Bing!
They both jumped, him dropping his fork on his plate, her splashing coffee out of her mug.
He leaned into his phone, entered his code, which was Mary's birthday, and waited for the cell to cough up the text. "Wrath says it's a go. We can proceed."
They both straightened and sat there for a moment.
Then, without words, he took two twenties out of his wallet, she mopped up what she'd spilled, and then they were making their way to the exit.
I don't know how to do this, he thought as they stepped outside.
I don't know how to look that little girl in the eye and tell her to go meet her uncle.
I don't know how to ever let her go.
In the GTO, he turned to Mary. "I love you. I don't know what else to say."
"I keep thinking I'm going to wake up, and take a shuddering breath...and become crazy-relieved that this was all a bad dream."
Rhage paused to give reality a chance to hop on that train.
When nothing changed, no alarm went off, no elbow from Mary nudged him awake...he cursed, started the engine, and headed out.
To have an impossible, lose-lose conversation with his daughter.
o where are you going?" Peyton asked from his reclining pose on his bed.
As Elise felt a flush hit her face, she hoped he was too drunk to notice.
"I just want to clear my head." She took her phone out of her pocket. "So you'll answer this if my father calls?"
"Are you seeing Axe?"
"Not right now." It was the closest she could get to any truth. "I'm not going into the university tonight. I really need to get my head straight and that is not going to happen if I go back home."
"So I'll ask again. Where are you off to?"
"I'm really not sure. But I'll be safe, promise."
Peyton raised a forefinger. "Don't you think if you don't know where you're going that it's especially important to have your phone?"
"Not if it has a GPS tracking program in it that your father had installed. Not if you don't want to get peppered with questions the instant you get home. Not when you simply want to take a deep breath and not get in trouble for it."
Peyton sat up off his pillows and then got to his feet. As he walked over to a table that ran along the back of the sofa, he weaved like there was a stiff breeze blowing around him.
"Take mine, then. The code is oh-four-one-one. It's only so you have something on you--and I'm not naive. I won't push you, but you're obvi not going home at dawn. Just be safe, okay? I don't want to find another body--and this time feel even worse because I enabled you."
"I'm going to be fine."
"That's my lie--I mean line." He came over and held out his iPhone. "And whereas you looked at me with pity as I said those words, I'm staring at you with something else. It's called warning."
"I'll be careful. I swear to you."
"Don't make me regret this," he muttered as he opened a window for her.
"I won't."
Elise gave him her own code and put his phone in the pocket of her coat. Then, with a quick hug and a final wave, she ghosted out of his suite, leaving him to his human football games and his bird vodka...and the shadows that haunted him.
Talk about not going far. She rematerialized out in the gardens of his estate, just so she could do what she had said and breathe a little. Snow was swirling around, not really getting organized into a proper fall, and the wind was bitter. As she looked over her shoulder at the Tudor mansion, she could see Peyton moving around in his bathroom, his blond hair catching the lights, his bare torso so powerful, she thought for a moment that he didn't look like an aristocrat anymore. He looked like a soldier.
Burrowing into her coat, she knew it was too early to go to Axe's. He'd told her the door was always open, but...
When the idea came to her, she didn't immediately dematerialize. After thinking things through, however, she ghosted out...
...and re-formed downtown, at the foot of a fancy high-rise.
Stepping back so that she was in the middle of the empty street, she counted the floors. The address on those papers she
'd found in Allishon's closet had listed an apartment number of 1403.
"Did you forget your key?"
Elise glanced to the left. A human female with an open face and an easy manner was on the sidewalk in front of the entrance.
"I'm here to see my cousin," Elise said. "She isn't answering the buzzer. She's on the fourteenth floor?"
Yeah, she was into honesty--but technically it was true: Allishon wasn't going to be answering anything, ever again.
"Come on in." The woman started for the door. "You can ride my coattails."
"Thank you."
Elise followed her into the lobby and made small talk by the elevator, and then on the ascent. The female got off on the fifth floor and Elise made the rest of the trip by herself. When the ding! announced she was on the right level, she got off and looked both ways. A little placard with apartment numbers on it pointed her to the left and she walked down the carpeted hall, passing countless doors.
When she got to the right one, she raised her hand to knock, but then dropped her arm--because, really? Reaching out, she tried the doorknob, and of course, it was locked.
Well, this was a great plan.
Placing her hand on the painted panels, she just stood there, replaying what Peyton had told her. In a sad way, she felt closer to her murdered cousin than ever before--even though it was too late for them to have a relationship.
God...she really wanted to get into this apartment, she thought.
And yes, Axe was correct. She was looking for a connection to her father, to her family, in the only avenues that were open to her. It was an imperfect quest, to be sure. But she wasn't going to stop.
Not until she had gone down every path--
As Peyton's phone went off in her pocket, she frowned and took it out. It was Peyton from her own cell.
"Hello?" she said as she accepted the call.
"Your boyfriend called." Peyton exhaled like he was smoking up. "You could have just told me."
Axe had called? "I'm sorry?"
"Troy. Your boyfriend? I told him you were out, that I was your cousin, and I asked if I could take a message. He wants you to call him. Guess he's been trying to get ahold of you. Elise, what the hell are you doing...that is not a vampire name."
She frowned. "He didn't say we were dating, though, did he. Because we're not. He's my professor and I'm his teaching assistant. I have no intention of ever getting involved with him. He's the reason I need Axe."
Well, one of them. And the only one she could bring up in mixed company.
Hell, to anybody.
"Just be careful," Peyton said after a moment.
"Always. Now, will you please stop smoking and drinking and start sobering up? At this point, you're going to need a month to get back to normal."
"Too right. Have a good night--but call me if you need me."
"I will."
As she hung up, her surroundings suddenly became clear to her. She was alone, in the human world, in a place where her cousin had been murdered.
The hall with all of the doors had seemed perfectly safe, but as the elevator dinged and a human male stepped free, Elise suddenly felt unsure of herself. If he decided to attack her with a weapon? Would anyone help her? And no one knew where she was other than Peyton--and going by the way he'd slurred his words, he was about two puffs away from passing out.
Elise put the phone up to her ear and made like she was speaking to someone. "Oh, really? And then what happened?"
Walking onward, she kept her eyes on the carpet and the human who was approaching her in her peripheral vision. He didn't seem particularly interested in her presence.
One benefit to wearing jeans and a long, puffy coat was that her body was totally hidden.
Still, she tensed up as they passed...but he simply kept about his way and so did she.
And then she was on the elevator, going down.
She couldn't wait to get to Axe's place.
--
Rhage was not in a big hurry to get home. But the distance from the diner to the Brotherhood mansion didn't change, and he was, as always, a very efficient driver.
Too soon, he and Mary were walking into the foyer.
Going by the laughter, they knew where Bitty was...and they found her in the billiards room. Bella was on the sofa, and their girl was playing hide-and-seek with Nalla among the pool tables.
Bit was so carefree, darting from one place to another, moving quickly, but not so fast that Nalla couldn't catch her and feel the triumph of winning from time to time. For clothes, the toddler was wearing a jumper with a big strawberry on it, her yellow eyes sparkling like sunshine, and Bitty had on one of Mary's blue fleeces, the thing so big, it flopped around her arms and torso.
As he and Mary watched the playing, the scent of their sorrow was so thick, his nose filled with the acrid burn of it--and Bella must have caught the stinging smell, because she looked around sharply.
Her face went from hopeful to resigned.
"Girls," the female said as she got to her feet. "I, ah, I think it's time for Nalla's bath. And Bitty, your parents need to talk to--ah..."
"Hey!" the girl said as she saw them. "How are--"
She frowned. Straightened from her tickling crouch. "What's wrong? I don't have to go back to Havers's, do I?"
"No, honey." Mary walked forward and gave Bella a brief hug. "But we need to speak to you."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No." Rhage nodded at Z's shellan as Bella scooped up her young and disappeared with sadness. "Not at all. You want to sit down with us, please?"
"All right."
And then the three of them were on the leather sofa that faced the big TV, Bitty in the middle. On the screen over the fireplace, an episode of Seinfeld was muted. It was the one with Kramer's Junior Mint ending up in the surgical patient. One of Rhage's favorites.
He felt like smashing the television to pieces.
"What is going on? You're scaring me."
Rhage cleared his throat and looked at Bit. When he came up with a big, fat nothing, he had to get to his feet and pace around. It was either that or find a baseball bat for that redeco job.
Mary picked up the slack, like she always did, and he hated the way he let her down. But her voice was admirably steady.
"Honey, do you remember...when you were talking about your uncle?" his shellan said. "You know, right after your mahmen went unto the Fade. You told me he was coming for you?"
"Yes, but I didn't really think he would." The girl's beautiful brown eyes went back and forth from Mary, who was beside her, to Rhage, who was making a lap around the nearest pool table. "I'd never met him. I was just...hoping someone wanted me. And then you two did and everything is okay now. I have my home."
Mary took a deep breath.
And when she stalled, Rhage knew he needed to man up; he couldn't leave this all for Mary to handle. Walking over, he knelt down in front of the girl.
"Well, actually, he contacted us. See, Mary tried to find him for you before you came to live with us, because it was the right thing to do. When there were no responses, we were sad for you, but happy for us."
Bitty frowned and edged back from him. "Wait...he's here. He's alive?"
Mary nodded. "He is and we just met him. He seems very nice and very sincere. And he's really interested in meeting you."
That frown on the girl's face became deeper and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I'm not going to. I want to live here with you guys, and the Brothers and Lassiter. Nalla, L.W., and Boo and George. This is my home."
Rhage rubbed his face. "He's your family, sweetheart."
"You're my family."
"Bitty," Mary started. "He's your mother's brother--"
Bitty burst up from the sofa and wheeled around on the both of them. "This is because of my arms and legs, isn't it. You guys don't want to deal with a kid who might be a cripple after their transition. You don't want me anymore because I'm broken--"
&
nbsp; "Bitty!"
"Not at all!"
But the girl wasn't hearing either one of them. "You want me to go away! Fine! Just throw me out!"
With that, Bitty ran out of the room. And damn it, he and Mary were right on her tail, scrambling in her wake as she hit the foyer and kept on going.
"Bitty, stop!" Mary said as they all headed for the grand staircase and started a frantic ascent. "Bitty, that's not what's going on--"
The girl stopped halfway up and turned around again. "You don't love me--you never loved me! You don't care--"
Rhage's voice thundered out of him, exploding so loudly, it nearly shook the house: "Lizabitte! You will not address your mahmen in that tone of voice!"
Hellllllllllllllo, inner father, he thought numbly.
And yup, that shut everyone up. Froze the females where they were, too.
Even made some poor doggen outside of Wrath's study drop her duster and duck for cover.
And apparently, he wasn't done laying down the hammer.
He took the steps two at a time until he was on Bitty's stair, and leaned down so that they were eye to eye. "I understand you're upset. We're upset, too. This was not part of the plan we had for any of our lives--but this is where all four of us are at. He seems like a nice male and he is your blood and you should meet him. I don't blame you for being emotional, and Mary and I are going to support you through all of this. But I will not have you ever thinking that we don't love you like you were our own. You are not defective. You are perfect and smart and a blessing to everyone who knows you. And we will love you forever."
There were so many other things he could say: You're the only child we'll ever have. I am dying on these steps just like my Mary is. We are going to be nothing without you.
But that was grown-up stuff. Things that he and Mary were going to have to work through.
They were not Bitty's problem and he was not going to make them her concern.
Abruptly, the little girl burst into tears. "I don't want to leave you guys...."
Mary wrapped her arms around Bitty. And Rhage wrapped his arms around both of his females.
As a unit, they sat down in the middle of the grand staircase...and cried.
xe ended up leaving Novo at The Keys after she found a likely candidate--in fact, it was that human woman Axe had been with a number of times, the one with the nipple piercings and the Cruella de Vil hair. Knowing that his fellow trainee was in good hands--namely, her own--he nodded at her, pointed to the exit, and got a nod in return.
