by Tara Wimble
This isn’t over. They haven’t come this far to lose now.
This time it’s Bella crouching by Oliv and passing her water to drink. Building each other back up again.
John brings them back to their goals. What they need to do out there. Be fast on the counter. Make good passes. Believe that they can beat this team.
If they don’t believe it then they have no chance.
That’s what they take out into the second half. John seems calmer on the sidelines as they start with the ball. Oliv and Whemb get a few more chances in than they would of and the second John calls down the line for her to sub in for Kathryn, something beautiful happens.
Beautiful being that Cramer completely falls for Carla’s turn and leaves her wide open to streak forward and get off a cross that Oliv dives for. Angerer pushes off to meet her and comes off second best.
The ball is across the line before Oliv has even hit the floor.
Everyone is on their feet jumping and screaming so much that Bella is forced to wait three minutes before she can even get subbed in.
The fight back is on.
Kathryn slaps her hand and then she’s running out onto the turf. She feels good about this. Angerer is at the other end of the field and though she’s still haunted by the last game, it’s not going to get in her way this time. She swears it.
Bella drops into the top of the midfield with Carla, just below Whemb and Oliv, as Angerer takes her goal kick. Her first glimpse of the ball on the field come searing past her cheek when a pass from Keßler goes awry. She’s not going to be impressed if she ends up walking off this field with another nose injury.
The first few minutes she’s on is spent running back and forth trying to outplay the dominant German midfield. She wears the frustration she saw Carla come into the locker room with as each move she makes is parried and turned on her.
But the pressure was always going to fall on her side and with every failed chance, the midfield begins to doubt their ability dodge her the next time.
It comes with a drumming roar from the crowd when she finally breaks through. Her tackle is short and sweet but it gets the ball from Keßler and manages to keep it away from Goeßling well enough for Sophie to run on the attack with it. She gets a second back to catch herself. That’s all her confidence needs.
Ansar to Schmidt, to Ross, to Whembly, back to Angerer-
In the end they were never going to make it easy for themselves. Niav takes down Lotzen in a tackle close to being called and flies with it. It’s pure luck and the fact her legs haven’t given out yet that sees Bella sprint ahead of the pass Niav gets off to her, chasing it down towards the end line.
She has seconds before a defender gets to her and Bella looks for her target. The momentum is there and just as Cramer comes down on her she crosses the ball across the box.
Whembly- Whembly-
GOAL.
She’s stumbling back over the end line and sprinting. Equalizer!
It’s not the first time she’s pulled off an assist for Whemb and there’s no way it’ll be her last but it’s in front of the biggest crowd they’ve ever played against and Bella isn’t thinking about turf burns when she skids to the sideline in front of a roaring home crowd.
There’s a second of ringing bells and glory. Seeing the faces of nameless fans screaming joyfully as Whembs’s put them two up and then there’s a body on top of her.
Jacque tries to yell over the sound of the crowd but Bella can’t hear anything other than that. She smiles so hard that she feels like her face is going to split as Jacque cups her face and laughs down at her in disbelief. It’s such a perfect moment that she doesn’t even think that this image of them, tangled together on the turf, is being broadcast worldwide.
“You beautiful, beautiful person!” Jacque shouts.
Then Bella almost does something completely stupid and kisses her. Her saving grace is how quickly her teammates catch up to tackle and dog pile on them as well.
They’re pulled up together, Bella has her hands fisted in the front of Jacque’s jersey until Jacque wraps her in a tight hug despite the referee’s call for them to stop delaying the game.
Jacque presses a firm kiss to her forehead. A response before they have to part and take the stage again. “Go win this thing.”
Bella accepts that this is all that they have time for. Cameras click away and whistles blow. “Defend the turf, alright?”
Ninety closes out with a draw and although no one wants to hear that they’ve failed to end the match in regulation time, extra time gives them another chance.
John has two subs left and tells them to give as much as they can in the next half an hour.
It feels like the same advice has been given a bench down as well.
Bella feels the push and pull. The bruises forming under her shirt and the crunches that her body makes when she tumbles to the turf with other players. They’re all going through this together. Winning or going down fighting.
Kadeisha comes on for the second half of extra time for Jan giving them a huge boost in the defense. Jan limps off to an appreciative cheering from the crowd.
Kadeisha helps shut Germany out for the remaining extra time. Just as Germany keeps them out as well.
If they were tired before extra time, they’re exhausted at the thought of penalties.
Bella grabs the nearest water bottle she can find and sprays it over her face and the front of her jersey. It doesn’t make a lot of difference.
She’s not sure if she’s sweating through the shirt or bleeding through it. The trainers are crouching at her knees when she hits the sideline and dabbing up the blood on her shins and socks so they can tape what needs to be taped before they decide this game on penalties.
Fucking penalties. Angerer’s face is in her mind again.
She’s not the only one looking at this with a grim face. Sophie’s hair is soaked through and sticking to her forehead as she tries to catch her breath. The order for this situation was decided weeks in advance and Bella knows her name is up fourth. It makes her a little sick to think about.
But John doesn’t differ.
Carla, Oliv, Sophie, Bella and then Whemb. That’s the order that they will take the penalties.
If Kathryn was in she’d be fourth but the sub was made so this is how it’s going to go.
She’s shaking a little. Her hand trembles when someone asks if she wants a clean jersey to swap out. She shakes her head and then wipes her face with the front of it. Her undershirt is soaked too.
Time is running out on them before they have to walk out and line up at midfield. Bella doesn’t turn to anyone for fear that they’ll shake her nerves even more and throw her off. John talks and Bella closes her eyes. She sends a small, hopeful prayer that she can hold her nerve through this and that someone up there will be watching her back for the next few minutes. There’s no time to touch the ring hidden under her shirt now.
“You all want this?” John asks. “Then now is the time to take it.”
They walk to the line.
It’s a crowd on their side that sees them lose the toss and get forced to shoot first. Bella only glimpses at the German keeper for a moment.
She can’t give any time to Angerer. Bella only watches the first that they score. Carla isn’t short of the experience thanks to her time at Washington and even though Angerer saw where she was putting the ball, her hands didn’t get to it as Carla slots it home into the left corner. Standing in the line she bows her head and relies on Carla next to her when she comes back.
1 - 0 Canada.
Carla huddles next to her and Bella asks.
“They’re sending Behringer.”
1 - 1.
Oliv moves away from them. The cheer is all she needs to know.
2 - 1 Canada.
“Maro.”
2 - 2 Germany.
Sophie pushes her hair back before she leaves.
3 - 2 Canada.
Carla si
ghs. “Mittag.” She doesn’t miss.
3 - 3 Germany.
Then it’s her.
Then it’s her heartbeat in her throat, sweaty palms and heavy shoulders walking towards the spot. Everything about her screams that she’s going to miss again. Everything in Angerer’s slow return to her line tells her she knows it too.
She places the ball down and steps back, not turning around this time as she hopes her prayer reached someone, to look at Angerer.
Bella tries to think of where she hit it last time. It was near post, enough for Carla to catch the end of it. She tries to think of penalties taken by other people against Angerer, where she’s weak and where she’s comfortable. They’ve seen it all on the tapes.
Then she finds her comfort spot. Other penalties. Other games. Wayne Rooney.
His name comes up and she almost laughs. Where did that even come from?
A crease of amusement appears in her face and it must make her look mad. Or, from the way Angerer bears down, confident.
That’s all she needs her to think.
Curling left post. Bella runs, breaking quickly with a pause that betrays Angerer going right, and she fires.
“GOAL!”
Crippling humbleness has her restraining the leap she wants to make for a fist pump to the sky as she runs back to her team. It just takes one.
4 - 3 Canada.
On the back of her success Sadie steps up and Bella finally watches, unafraid, as Lotzen tries to fake Sadie as Bella had and falls to her knees as it fails.
It just takes one and Sadie’s just made it.
4 - 3 Canada.
Hands grip the backs of jerseys. Bella has her hand against Carla and reaches for Jacque to come next to her when Whemb leaves for the final walk. It’s all on her shoulders once again, as always, and Bella needs Jacque steady next to her for this.
Angerer, determined not to make the same mistake again, spreads herself wide. Whemb appears with the ball over the spot. Never looking up. Never faltering.
When Whemb takes her steps back, Bella holds her breath with the rest of the team.
One. One. One.
Please.
The drums fall silent.
The whistle blows.
It feels like blacking out. An overwhelming sound. A crash.
Christina Whembly.
5 - 3 Canada.
Edmonton seems to explode. The atmosphere has turned into a victory parade. The red shirts become red streamers. There’s no limit to the banners being tossed and the drums leading in an earth quaking celebration.
They won.
They -won-.
They’re through to the finals of their home hosted World Cup and Bella is staring at Jacque from the opposite end of the field. She knows that someone is training a camera on her, even with Sadie picking up Kathryn and Whemb running to the bench to jump on Imogen, as she starts to jog.
This wasn’t the endgame she had in mind. The plan was simple; play on the national stage, show people she can win, that she can be the game changer, a player that can make all the difference no matter what team it was that she played for.
Jacque was the means to that end. She was the gatekeeper to the Canadian team, a friend that she’s taken with her on this through obstacle after obstacle and unintended pain. As well as some things that she left in a room in London.
Bella can see Jacque letting go of Niav’s shoulders as she spots Bella coming towards her.
It makes her want to run a little faster. She can’t believe this moment. Actually being here, on top of the world, looking at Jacque feeling the same thing she feels. Especially since it feels like they’ve just started getting things so right again. Especially since it’s been almost two full years since their divorce was leaked to the public, and God, this is so confusing. But she can’t find it within her to care about other people right now.
Especially since the only sure thing Bella knows about this is that it’s only for Jacque. It’s only with Jacque.
She’s sprinting now. Tripping up little bits of turf on the ground as she streams past the heartbroken German players with such a momentum that the only thing Jacque can do is plant her feet and catch her when she collides.
It’s stupid but her heart skips gratefully when Jacque does catch her, a second of fear that she wouldn’t passes, and Jacque takes her build up to swing her round. Bella squeals when her feet don’t brush the turf as expected even after Jacque has slowed her swinging.
“Leave it to you to score on a PK.” Jacque yells over the noise of the home crowd still celebrating their win and advance into the semis.
“Hey-” Bella groans as Jacque squeezes her waist and then plants her down. “That was a great goal.”
They have to make their way around the field. People are throwing streamers and blasting music, oblivious to the disappointment of the losing side, and they’re in the middle of it all. Jacque slings her arm around Bella’s waist with a comfort that they’ve developed in the last few months. There’s only the weight of her arm, nothing else; no divorce or worry over FIFA or snide comments ready to cut them down. Bella wraps an arm around Jacque’s waist.
“You almost high fived Angerer with the ball.” Jacque feels so much closer than the touching suggests. She turns her face to press her nose into Bella’s head.
“It went in, didn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Jacque reassures. “Seems like it did.”
She breaks into a light laughter that Bella rides on with her. They stumble, drunk with victory, wrapped around each other. There’s a few roving cameras following them around at a polite distance that allows them to keep their conversation between themselves.
Jacque sags against her, making Bella hold her weight. “I’m so tired.”
She’s heard that before.
“One more.” Bella tugs at the bottom of Jacque’s jersey. “One more. Make it count.”
“I couldn’t ask for a better stage.” Jacque jokes.
She bites her lip as they start walking towards the locker room. The rest of their teammates are trailing in, being ushered off the pitch. “When are you going to tell them?”
A thousand thoughts rush through her head, wondering how the team will react to Jacque’s retirement but Jacque drops her hand to Bella’s waist. “Shhh. Later.”
Walking towards the tunnel again takes them through a shutterbug parade of camera flashes and calls for them to look this way from fans. They entertain their calls for a long moment before getting their heads down and following the trail of numbered shirts walking into the stadium.
Then the celebrations start.
The locker room is filled by their voices. Screaming, shouting, squealing- John asking them all to quiet down which is inevitably ignored as they jump around in their socks. A few times someone almost gets close enough to knock the table in the middle that’s piled with their pre-game waters and snacks.
There are flags strewn all over the room, as well as around people’s necks, from their families and some thrown from fans. The place is a glorious mess of red and white. And indescribable joy in the booming voices all around her.
Bella is no stranger to her own words. Her arms seek other people, her eyes take in the scene, her chest is doing that skipping thing at a completely different level to what it was before the game.
She has a small moment with Whemb, Oliv and Dri when they first get inside. It'd almost be unspoken if not for the bubbling excitement. They were the forwards that got Canada to this point. They have one more battle to face. It's a short, but no less inspiring speech and Kathryn knows that Bella won't spill the advice given from their captain when she comes back to the other side of the room.
John is still trying to get them to quiet down. It’s useless really. Whatever he wants to say is written in the smile on his face and he won’t get to talk to them until they’re tiring and back at the hotel, and he knows it. Jacque and Sadie spend five minutes just holding onto each other like the floor is abo
ut to fall through. Bella wonders if she’s telling her now, before everyone else, but when they pull apart Sadie doesn’t look like she’s heard anything shocking.
It’s probably not the right time anyway. Right now is a time for joy and celebrations and continuations, not endings.
Imogen calls for them all to gather around and they listen. John pretends to be offended at how quickly they all fall into a familiar huddle. Bella finds her place by Jacque and Kathryn falls to her right. She sees Robyn shuffle to Jacque’s side and soon the team is lining the wall, arms around each other with the rest of the trainers and coaches. John finds himself trapped between Imogen and Janna as someone yells for them to put the song on.
“Bit confident aren’t we?” Bella jokes.
“Shut it and sing!” Oliv yells over the opening strains of Celine Dion’s, ‘Power of Love’. “Come on, sway.” She orders it and everyone falls in line, swaying gently along to the beat. Though the excitement can’t be contained and the swaying is constantly interrupted by excited jumping around.
It’s hot. Stifling. Everything feels a little gross because they haven’t even gotten showered or changed yet, they’re just singing and swaying in their game jerseys, because moving on from this moment isn’t possible right now.
Something slots into place when Bella has to rise up on her tip toes to keep up with the enthusiasm in which Jacque and Kathryn are half-swaying, half-can-can-ing in the huddle. There’s a ring lying on top of her warm ups in her duffel bag filled with years of memories that she has been holding onto like a lifeline for the last few months.
It clicks so suddenly that she feels like she’s gone insane. Her chest tightens. For a moment breathing is a luxury and it takes all of her willpower to keep up with the beat, to stay in the circle. The hands on her back keep her steady.
She looks over at Jacque, head thrown back in elation, cheeks flushed and eyes closed, the picture of happiness. She’s the only one not swaying, standing out like how she used to in the beginning, a misplaced girl.
Except she’s found a home. She’s found more than a home- a family. Misplaced is a missing memory now. Warm skin sticking to sleeves she shudders against supporting hands and realizes that she never wants to know that memory again.
