“It would be easy to think that you would have some idyllic family if Heather hadn’t been there,” Jacob said.
“Yeah, but I don’t think that,” Blane said. “Your dad doesn’t know anything about this thing with Eros. Sam said that my dad killed at least two other kids, could be three or four. And their mothers. It was really only a matter of time before my dad lost it. If Heather hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have survived.”
“What did you do when she told you?” Jacob asked. “What was your first reaction?”
“I just kind of shrugged,” Blane said. “I really love my life now. I know that I don’t have a lover and Heather doesn’t, either, and that will be a change, but right at this moment? Everything is perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. Really.”
“So, what happened?” Jacob asked. “Oh, you can let go.”
As if by magic, the structure stayed up. Jacob shook it and checked to make sure it was level. When he nodded, they went back into the bathroom. Jacob pulled out a pin, and the bench came apart. They carried the bench bottom to the balcony, and Jacob started to attach it to the structure.
“Nothing happened,” Blane said. “I just started thinking and wondered if I should be more upset — you know. She basically said that her father killed my father because of her, and that she made my whole life happen.”
Blane’s voice was laced with anger.
“When I think like that, I get really angry,” Blane said. He shrugged. “Then I remember that life isn’t really like that. Even though they might be gods, they didn’t make the drive to kill that lived inside my father. Eros just made it come out that day. They didn’t make my mother unsafe. Eros just took advantage of the situation . . .”
“To make Heather feel badly,” Jacob said with a nod.
“Right,” Blane said. “When I think of it like that, I get mad for her. I mean, she didn’t deserve to have such a crappy father.”
“You didn’t, either,” Jacob said.
“Right,” Blane said. “So there’s more to this soul-mate thing than just some mumbo-jumbo of Heather touching my heart.”
“Seems like it,” Jacob said. “In fact, it kind of seems to me like the two of you were meant for each other from the beginning of time. These are just incidents that prove it.”
Blane nodded.
“Does that feel any better?” Jacob asked.
When Blane didn’t respond, Jacob pointed back into the bathroom. They carried the top back of the seat to the porch. Blane held it in place while Jacob reattached it.
“What do you need to feel better about this?” Jacob asked.
“I need not to feel like the pawn of some out-of-control god,” Blane said.
“But you’re not!” Jacob said. “Eros didn’t connect you to me. He didn’t force you to take the risks you’ve taken in getting the treatment for your liver and, finally, bone-marrow transplant. That’s not to mention leaving Enrique or going to Chef’s school or even going to Chinese medicine school. Those are choices you made for yourself and your life. For all intents and purposes, you made your life.”
“With Heather’s help,” Blane said.
“That’s just dumb,” Jacob said. “She helped you because she cares about you. She would help you drive race cars if that was your passion. She made your life whole.”
Blane nodded.
“You know what I think?” Jacob asked. He stopped working and looked up at Blane. “I think you never had a mother or father, so you never mourned their loss. Now that you have them, even in story form, you miss them and feel their loss.”
Blane gave Jacob a sad nod.
“That’s totally understandable,” Jacob said. “You want a ride?”
Jacob pointed to the bench seat of the glider he’d put together. Shrugging, Blane sat down. Jacob sat down next to him. From where they were sitting, they could see the shadow of the mountains against the night sky.
“Beautiful,” Blane said.
“I hope Jill likes it,” Jacob said.
“She will,” Blane said. “Frankly, I’m kind of surprised you put it together with your hands and not your skills.”
Blane waved his fingers around.
“Woodwork is best done by hand,” Jacob said with a smile. “Oh. This just occurred to me.”
“About what?” Blane asked.
“Your parents and everything,” Jacob said. “Maybe part of what’s hard is that the mystery of ‘what happened’ is finally over. You’ve carried around this mystery all of your life. Now you know. You probably feel relieved and a little nostalgic.”
Blane nodded.
“Are you mad at Heather?” Jacob asked.
Knowing Jacob wanted the whole truth, Blane was silent for a moment while he thought it through.
“Not particularly,” Blane said. “I’m just . . .”
Jacob watched Blane for a moment.
“Sad,” Blane said. “I wish there was a way to tell my mother that everything worked out.”
“I think you just did,” Jacob said.
“Is she here?” Blane asked.
“No, at least not that I can tell,” Jacob said. “But I’d guess that she’s never been very far from your side. Of course, we could ask Delphie.”
“I like that,” Blane said. “Makes me feel like I’m not so alone.”
Jacob grabbed Blane’s shoulder.
“You’re never alone,” Jacob said. “Certainly, not now.”
Smiling, Blane looked at Jacob and nodded.
“Would you like a beer?” Jacob asked.
“Sure,” Blane said. “But . . .”
Two beers floated through the loft and out on to the porch where they were sitting. Blane grinned at Jacob and plucked his from the air.
“Nice,” Blane said. “Hey, how’d it go with Honey today?”
Jacob sighed and told Blane about the inspection. There wasn’t much to say after that, so they sat in companionable silence and drank their beers.
~~~~~~~~
Monday evening — 7:53 p.m.
Most of the other people had already gone. Sandy had taken Katy back to the Castle so that Jill could wrap up what was left. Jill was picking up the remnants of their last fitting when she noticed Valerie. She was standing in a surround mirror with her hands on her lower belly.
“Val?” Jill asked.
Valerie glanced at Jill and then scowled at herself.
“What is it?” Jill asked.
“Mom always said that I couldn’t have boys,” Valerie said.
“Your mom didn’t know about the curse,” Jill said. “You know, the one that was lifted by Jake when we had the boys?”
“Queen Fand.” Valerie gave Jill a distracted nod. “I remember.”
Jill spied an errant piece of tissue and took a step toward it.
“It’s just that . . .” Valerie started.
Jill turned to look at Valerie through the mirror.
“I’ve already lost two,” Valerie said.
“The curse hadn’t been lifted then,” Jill said with a nod.
“What if it’s not the curse?” Valerie asked. “Mom told me that . . .”
Valerie shook her head rather than finished her statement. Jill took another step toward the tissue paper.
“Maybe I’m the curse,” Valerie whispered.
Jill walked back to Valerie. She put her hands on Valerie’s arms.
“You are not cursed,” Jill said. “You’ve had a hard time. You lost your first baby when you thought Mike had died. You lost the second when Delphie almost died.”
“Really, she did die, but you fixed it,” Valerie said.
“So, basically, as long as no one dies, you should be in good shape,” Jill said.
“But . . .” Valerie said.
Valerie’s eyes flicked up to look at Jill.
“Will you help me?” Valerie asked.
“If I can, I will,” Jill said with a nod. “You have my word.”
&n
bsp; “But you’re going away, and . . .” Valerie said.
“We’re taking three days,” Jill said. “You can always come with us.”
“Jake would love that,” Valerie said.
“I’m serious,” Jill said. “We’re going with Sandy, Aden, Honey, and MJ. Plus, if you really think there’s a chance you might lose this baby, then I want to help.”
Valerie gave Jill a vague look.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Jill said.
“But . . .” Valerie started.
Rather than listen, Jill reached around Valerie from behind and put her hands on Valerie’s belly. They stood like that for more than a minute before Jill let go.
“What did you . . .?” Valerie asked. “Is he already dead?”
“First off, his name is Julio the Sexy,” Jill said.
“Really?” Valerie asked.
“No,” Jill said with a laugh. “He’s a blob. A healthy blob, but still a blob. Give him a month.”
“But you promised to . . .”
“I’m happy to,” Jill said.
Valerie looked visibly relieved.
“What about your acting career?” Jill asked. “You’ve been home a bunch.”
“Oh,” Valerie said. “I have a few projects scheduled next year. Three I think. I did so much last year, that I wanted some time, you know . . .”
“To have another baby?” Jill asked.
Valerie nodded.
“There’s a show that wants me to do a guest appearance,” Valerie said. “So I might do that. Mostly, it’s nice to be home. See my baby brother get married.”
Jill smiled at Valerie. Jill looked around the room.
“I think I got everything,” Jill said.
“It looks good,” Valerie said.
“Shall we?” Jill asked.
Valerie nodded. They left the alteration office together.
“Julio the sexy?” Valerie asked when they reached their cars.
“Down by the school yard?” Jill laughed.
She waved to Valerie and got in her car. She waited for Valerie to drive off before following her home.
~~~~~~~~
Tuesday night — 10:11 p.m.
“How are you?” Heather asked as she came up into the loft space that was their bedroom.
Blane put his finger over his lips to indicate that Wyn had just fallen asleep on his lap. Heather took the bottle. Blane got up with the baby. Together, they gave Wyn a quick bath. Heather gave him one last snuggle before he went into the bassinette.
Heather and Blane held their breath. They’d been trying to get Wyn on his own for almost a month. But Wyn didn’t like being alone. He cried every time they left him on his own. After a few minutes, they relaxed. Blane pointed to the bathroom. Heather followed him inside.
“How was the fitting?” Blane asked.
He pulled off his clothing and stepped into the shower. She leaned against the doorframe to talk with him.
“Fun,” Heather said. “Everyone looks fantastic. The kids are excited about their chance.”
Heather lifted a shoulder in a shrug.
“So much prep, and it will be over in seconds,” Heather said.
Blane nodded. He grabbed a handful of shampoo and washed his hair.
“You know this thing with Fand?” Heather said. “Uh, Queen Fand?”
“Fand didn’t want Abi to have her baby first,” Blane said.
Heather nodded.
“Abi and I exchanged difficulties,” Heather said. “I’m going to help her with this issue between herself and Queen Fand. She and Gilfand are going to work on the Fires of Hell.”
His face covered in soap, he just nodded to Heather.
“I talked to Perses about the best way to do it,” Heather said.
“Did he help?” Blane asked.
“No,” Heather said. “He thinks the entire thing is ridiculous. Suggested a couple of times to eliminate the fairies altogether.”
Blane shook his head and stepped under the stream to wash off the shampoo.
“In case you’re wondering, I’m not going to kill all of the fairies,” Heather said. “I just wish . . .”
“What?” Blane asked.
He turned off the water to the shower, and Heather gave him a clean towel.
“What do you wish?” Blane asked.
“I wish there was someone to ask,” Heather said. “You know — about this entire Goddess of Love thing. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”
“Well, what do you want to do?” Blane asked.
“With Fand and Abi?” Heather asked.
“Sure,” Blane asked.
She shook her head and walked into their bedroom. She changed into her nightshirt while Blane got dressed in pajamas.
“This is what I think,” Blane said. “And remember, you asked me. So if it’s crappy advice, then . . .”
“You’ve never given crappy advice!” Heather said.
Blane grinned at her support of him and Heather nodded.
“You are the Goddess of Love now,” Blane said. “Whatever you do or decide is law. You want Blane to be free of Queen Fand or the end of the Fires of Hell or any other such thing, that’s what will happen.”
“Yes, but is it the right thing to do?” Heather asked.
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-one
Guts
Heather went to their chest of drawers and changed into her nightshirt. When she turned around, Blane was sitting on the end of the bed in his pajamas. He held out his hand, and she took it. His other hand covered hers.
“What is it?” Heather asked.
“Just feels good to hold on tight,” Blane said with a smile.
She grinned at him.
“If you want my advice, I’d tell you to follow your gut,” Blane said. “As Sam always says, there’s no manual to life. We’re all just plugging away, trying to figure it out. As long as we’re not hurting other people, we’re probably doing the right thing.”
“That’s what I worry about,” Heather said. “Hurting other people.”
“It’s bound to happen,” Blane said. “Our wisdom is sometimes someone else’s greatest injury. I think you just have to do your best and let the rest go.”
“But . . .”
“There’s certainly no manual to being a goddess,” Blane said.
“There are guidelines,” Heather said. “But they’re stupid.”
“Stupid?
“Like — ‘Don’t interfere when non-interfering is best.’ Or ‘Leave every situation better than it was when you got to it..’”
“Better for whom?” Blane asked.
“That’s what I said,” Heather said with a smile.
“What does your gut say now?” Blane asked.
“The whole thing reeks of hubris and Olympia,” Heather said. “My gut says to strip the magic off and see what’s underneath. That’s a first step.”
“Why not do that?” Blane asked.
“It’s risky,” Heather said. “We don’t know what or who Abi and Gilfand are.”
Blane nodded.
“The magic may be some kind of protection for Abi or even for all of the fairies,” Heather said with a shrug. “One thing . . .”
“What?”
“A lot of people hate the fairies,” Heather said. “I mean, they aren’t my favorite, either, but I can’t say that I hate them or want to obliterate their entire race.”
“Perses,” Blane said with a nod.
“What if messing with Queen Fand leaves them vulnerable to being destroyed?” Heather asked.
“What if messing with them saves them from being obliterated?” Blane asked.
“That’s exactly what I mean,” Heather said. “Either one could be true —both, as well.”
Blane nodded.
“There’ s no way to know,” Blane said.
“Exactly,” Heather said.
“Strip the magic away, and who knows what’s underneath?” Blane asked.
She shrugged and looked away from him. After a moment, she looked back.
“How do you feel about . . . everything?” Heather asked, to buy time before making a decision.
“You mean my mother and father?” Blane asked. He fell silent for a moment before taking a breath. “Mostly, I feel grateful — to you, to Eros for being such an ass, for my own parents.”
“But?” Heather asked.
“No ‘buts,’” Blane said. “At least not right now.”
“Then what’s the hold-up?” Heather asked.
“What if everything that happened to me was an act of grace?” Blane asked. “Not Satan or evil or anything other than grace. What if all the crap that happened wasn’t tragedy at all? What if it was actually lucky?”
Heather watched his face.
“I mean, take the foster father,” Blane said. “Let’s say he was a nice closet case who cheated with men. It didn’t have anything to do with me. I would have stayed there for most of my life. I would have missed meeting Jake in the parking lot and getting rescued by Celia and everything that happened after that. What do you think?”
“I think it’s complicated,” Heather said. “You may have met Jake under some better circumstances. Celia could have found you some other way, and . . .”
Heather shrugged.
“I guess I don’t think life is so fixed in stone, with everything laid out from birth to death,” Heather said. “I think we are born, we live, we die. What we do in between has to do with us, how we are put together. And, you might be different if all of these hard things hadn’t happened. Or you might be the same.”
Heather shrugged. Nodding, he shrugged.
“That’s how it feels,” Blane said. “It feels like outrageous luck that you would be there to save me as a child. It feels like unbelievable grace to have been assaulted, even, because if that jackass foster father . . .”
“You wouldn’t have met Jake,” Heather said.
Blane nodded.
“I feel like I owe someone a thank-you note, but I’m not sure how to pay it back,” Blane said.
Heather nodded.
“Is there a way to thank those who saved me?” Blane asked.
Manitou Springs Page 20
