by Laura Conway
Delaney tapped the glass with her fingertips. She really shouldn’t, but then why did she come if she wasn’t going to dance? “Yes, but I’m still mad at you,” she said as she took another drink.
Spencer reached for her hand, and Delaney was tempted to pull it away, but it was so crowded, she probably would have lost Spencer.
“I hope I can dance in these heels,” Spencer said when they found a free space. She looked down at her feet, and Delaney found herself doing the same thing. She should have practiced first.
“You’ll be fine,” Delaney said, taking both of Spencer’s hands in hers as they moved to the beat, dancing in place for a few minutes until Delaney led them into the first turn.
They had less space than they normally had on Tuesday nights. Their motions needed to be tighter, smoother, and somehow, despite the uneasiness between them, they managed an almost perfect run.
Spencer fell into her arms as the music stopped, but this time she didn’t linger. She was gone again, and Delaney hated that she missed the contact.
Delaney ran a hand through her hair as they clapped for the band.
“Wow,” Carlos said with a smile as he stood in the middle of the dance floor. “It’s hard to believe most of you were beginners just a few weeks ago. That was really impressive, but I’ll let our guest judge tell you who’s won.”
A dark-haired man who looked about her age took the mic from Carlos. “Well done. I hope you’ve all enjoyed your classes with Carlos and Julia. I won’t leave you in suspense any longer. The standard was amazing, and you should all be very proud of yourselves. That being said, there was a clear winner. The lovely couple to my right.”
Delaney swallowed as everyone in the crowd turned towards them. Spencer’s eyes met hers, and she took her hand, leading them towards the middle of the floor.
“Congrats,” the man said to them with the mic at his side as he asked each of them for their names. “Congratulations,” he said as he lifted the mic, “To Delaney and Spencer.”
Delaney forced herself to smile, her hand still in Spencer’s. Everyone around them was clapping, and a few camera flashes went off.
“Alright,” he said. “Let’s get back to dancing.”
The band started playing again, and they were surrounded by other couples who began dancing. Delaney slid her hand around Spencer’s waist, falling into rhythm with the music.
It was only when the music stopped a few minutes later, and the band paused before moving into the next song, that the spell was broken. Delaney left the dance floor without saying anything to Spencer. She avoided the other couples who were still dancing and made it back to the bar area.
A hand was on her wrist, lightly holding on to it, and Delaney turned to see Spencer standing in front of her.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me,” Spencer said, dropping her hand. “But can you give me five minutes on the roof?”
Delaney pursed her lips as she held Spencer’s gaze. She nodded, following Spencer to the door and up the stairs until they were out in the muggy night air. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Spencer had brought her up here, but it was just a few weeks ago. So much had changed since then.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer said, one hand on her waist, the other tousling her hair as she paced. “I know what I did was wrong, but it wasn’t coming from a malicious place. I was embarrassed. You were my first crush, and I didn’t really want to introduce myself that way, as a fan, but not telling you turned out to be an even worse idea.”
Delaney stood a few feet away from her. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I had planned to that night, but then when you told me what happened... The timing couldn’t have been worse. I thought that if I said it then, I was guaranteeing that you’d walk out the door.”
“Which I did anyway... I saw the DVD, Spencer. I’m sure Matt told you that.”
Spencer nodded. “I’m sorry. When I saw you walk into Club Pink for the first time... I was star struck, honestly, but then when I asked you to dance, that was gone. I didn’t see Clara Lawson, legal genius. I was getting to know you, and as the weeks went by, I didn’t want you to look at me any differently, like a silly fan.”
Delaney sighed. It was a reasonable explanation. She wondered how she’d react if she got to meet an actress she had a crush on. Wait. “You had a crush on me?”
“Yeah,” Spencer said with a lopsided smile. “I uh... I was just flipping through the channels, and when I saw you, I went back. I started watching that show... I was a small bit infatuated, I’ll admit, but I got into it, tuning in every day. That show... You... You saved me. I never worried about being gay, being different. All I knew when I was fourteen was that I was attracted to you. It took a few years to see that it wasn’t just you, that I was a lesbian, but it was somehow so much easier that way. I wasn’t crushing on my neighbor or my teacher.”
“Wow. Well, I feel old,” Delaney said with a laugh. “But I’m glad if I somehow helped you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Delaney nodded. “I’m sorry I left, that morning, after you told me... Everything that happened. I was in complete shock and on the verge of a panic attack. But you know why.”
“Please forgive me,” Spencer whispered, blinking back tears.
Delaney cleared her throat. “I think I need some time.” She looked away, knowing that seeing Spencer cry would probably trigger who own tears.
“Okay,” Spencer said as she took a deep breath.
Delaney glanced at her with an arched eyebrow. She didn’t think Spencer would agree to that so easily. “I’m not saying yes or no. Just that I need some space.”
“Sure.” Spencer said, running her finger underneath her eye. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
Delaney nodded. “We did dance pretty well together,” she said before she walked towards the door, her heels clicking on the concrete. “Enjoy the rest of the night, Spencer,” she said as she pulled the door open, resisting the urge to hug her, but she knew that would only dissolve what little willpower she had.
Delaney left Spencer and went downstairs, eventually finding Matt and Jay who congratulated her.
“Thanks, guys,” Delaney said, giving them both a smile. “I’m going to go though. Early start tomorrow.”
“Everything okay?” Matt asked.
“Yeah. Just exhausted.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
“Night,” Delaney said to both of them and left Club Pink without looking back.
Chapter 25
Spencer sliced a few lemons and limes before her shift ended. Tuesday nights were back to being quiet, with only a handful of booths occupied. She glanced down at her watch. 8:54PM. She’d been here all day. Her feet throbbed, and her back ached.
She’d been picking up extra shifts in the last two weeks, hating the idea of a day off where she had far too much time to think about Delaney. Even with a busy schedule, the last two weeks had dragged on.
“I think I need some time.”
Spencer washed her hands. She couldn’t get Delaney’s words out of her head. She also didn’t know what to make of them. On one hand, it was positive that Delaney didn’t completely hate her, but on the other hand, Spencer didn’t know what she was supposed to do. How much time did Delaney need? Should she wait for Delaney to get in touch with her?
Spencer still checked her phone every day with the expectation that there might be a message from Delaney. Even after two weeks of silence, Spencer was still hopeful.
Her pulse tripped over itself every time a blond-haired woman walked into Club Pink, and Spencer didn’t know how much more of this she could take. When Delaney left her alone on the roof, she’d reasoned that a ‘maybe’ was better than a ‘no,’ but now she wasn’t so sure. This was absolute torture.
Spencer nodded to the woman replacing her behind the bar and pulled her hair down from the messy bun she’d had it tied up in as she walked down the hall.
“Spence?” Karen called from her office; the door open.
“Yeah?” she asked, stopping in her doorway.
“I keep meaning to give you this.” Karen pushed herself out of her chair and handed her a navy envelope. “Your prize for winning the competition.”
“Oh,” Spencer said, glancing down at it. She’d forgotten about that. “Thanks.” She slid into in the back pocket of her pants.
“I’m guessing things didn’t work out between you and your actress?”
“No.” Spencer thought about elaborating, but now wasn’t the time. She was ready to go home and fall into bed. “How do you feel about going for dinner with me? I’d hate to waste that voucher.”
Karen returned to her chair and opened her laptop. “Why don’t you ask Delaney? Unless you’re not speaking?”
“She said she needed some time.”
“And how long has it been?”
“Two weeks.”
Karen picked up her reading glasses and put them on. “Wait another two weeks and ask her.”
Spencer bit her lip. Was a month long enough? What if it was too long and she was already seeing someone else?
“What have you got to lose?” Karen asked, looking up at her over her glasses.
“Okay. Yeah. I’ll ask her. Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
Spencer grabbed her bag and left through the side door. As much as she wanted to call Delaney, she left her phone in her bag. Karen was right. What was another two weeks?
A chorus of horns blew as a black SUV broke the lights, and Spencer waited until it was safe to cross the street, her hands in her pockets as she strode along the pavement.
After the way they’d danced together two weeks ago, Spencer had thought that maybe Delaney had forgiven her, but then she left her on the dance floor without a word, without making eye contact, and Spencer knew that it wasn’t going to be that easy. And after everything that Delaney told her, Spencer got that. This was more than withholding a bit of information.
Spencer shook her head, wishing she’d approached this differently, but she’d be so caught up in the moment that first night that she saw Delaney. She still believed that telling Delaney she’d been a fan of hers that night would have been a mistake, but there were other opportunities where she could have said something, when maybe they could have laughed about it, when Delaney had already gotten to know her and realized she wasn’t a crazy fan.
Spencer just had to be patient. This was too big of a deal to mess up. Again. She could wait, and if Delaney didn’t want to see her in two weeks, she’d have to accept that too. Whether she could move on was another thing.
Chapter 26
Delaney sipped on her glass of wine, pacing herself when she would have loved to have let loose, but that wasn’t something she was going to do at a work thing, no matter how shitty she felt. Wrap parties were normally a great night out, but Delaney wasn’t in the mood for it. They’d finished dinner about an hour ago, but they were still seated around a long rectangular table, having a few drinks.
When the woman that was sitting next to Delaney got up to chat to someone on the other side of the table, Matt took the opportunity to sit down beside her.
“When are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Matt asked. “You look miserable.”
Delaney shook her head. “I really don’t want to get into it here. We’re supposed to be celebrating.” She also knew she might cry if they talked about it.
“Is it really over between you two?”
Delaney swirled what was left of the full-bodied Spanish wine in her glass. “I told her I needed time.”
“But you two looked great dancing together. I thought maybe-”
“No. I went to Club Pink just to dance. I was furious with Spencer. I still am, but it’s slowly fading...”
“Because you miss her.”
Delaney sighed. “Yes,” she admitted. “I miss her. That doesn’t change what happened. She behaved like a stalker.”
“Except she wasn’t one.”
“I know, and now that I’ve had some time to think about it... I can see it from her point of view. The fact that she even kept it together when she met me is something. If the roles were reversed, and I was meeting my crush, I know I wouldn’t have been that smooth.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Matt asked, his forearms on the table, his hands clasped around a bottle of beer.
“I don’t know.” She said she’d wanted space, and Spencer had given it to her, but now she didn’t know what she wanted. She felt worse now than she did when she left Spencer on the roof a month ago.
“Come to Club Pink with us after this. Jay’s meeting me there,” he said, glancing down at his watch. “I told him nine, and we shouldn’t be too far behind.”
Delaney sipped her wine. She didn’t know if she was ready to see Spencer. Jay and Matt had been asking her to go with them at least once a week, and she’d always declined.
“I don’t know if Spencer’s working or not,” Matt said, reading her mind. “I didn’t plan this, in case that’s what you’re thinking.”
“No. I know you didn’t. Maybe. Yeah,” Delaney said as she finished her wine. “Fuck it.”
Matt raised his eyebrows. She didn’t swear much, but whenever she did, it always seemed to catch Matt off guard.
“So,” Matt said, finishing his drink. “I’ll tell Jay to get us a booth?”
Delaney nodded. “Yeah,” she said as she stood up. “Give me ten minutes. I just want to touch up my makeup and do the rounds here,” she said, looking around table.
“Take your time.”
Delaney reapplied her burgundy lipstick and stared at her reflection, the lines around her eyes invisible, hidden beneath the makeup.
If she wanted Spencer, if she wanted this to work, it was up to her. Their age difference didn’t seem to matter to Spencer. It was her that was having issues with it.
She could see now why Spencer didn’t tell her that she recognized her. Delaney probably would have called things off before they even started if she knew Spencer was a fan.
Delaney just had to shake that lingering anxiety. Spencer was never stalking me.
It was easier said than done though.
Chapter 27
Spencer mixed three more cocktails. Her arms were getting a serious workout tonight. She normally had a bit of fun with a bachelorette party, but she had no interest in them tonight. She’d listened to Karen’s advice and waited another two weeks, half expecting Delaney to get in touch before then, but she hadn’t heard anything.
Spencer had given her a month’s worth of space, and she didn’t think she could handle any more uncertainty. Her shift finished up in about an hour. She’d go home, put on her pajamas and send Delaney a text. She had no idea what she’d say. She didn’t want to come across as needy or pushy or desperate, but she did need to know if there was any point in hoping that they still had a chance.
She pushed a few wisps away from her face, her messy bun getting even messier as the night went on. Spencer forgot to breathe when she saw Delaney come in with Matt and Jay behind her. In the last month, Delaney hadn’t been back to Club Pink, at least not when Spencer was there, but she’d been working so much, she thought that if Delaney had been around, surely, she would have seen her.
Jay came over to get their drinks while Matt and Delaney found a booth in the corner. She was wearing all black tonight, her pants hugging her hips and her top revealing a hint of cleavage. Her blond hair was more styled than usual in loose waves falling just below her shoulders.
“Hey,” Spencer said, forcing herself to smile. Her insides were so twisted, so tangled, she could barely focus on her job. “What can I get you? The usual?”
“Yes, please. How do you remember everybody’s order?”
Spencer shrugged as she got him two beers. “It’s easy when it’s always the same.” She poured a glass of Shiraz and swiped Jay’s card.
�
��I don’t mean to interfere,” Jay said as he slid his card back into his wallet, “But we’ve been trying to get Delaney here for weeks. This is the first time she’s agreed to come with us. So... I’m not sure what happened between you two, but maybe, if you’re on a break or something, you could talk to her.”
Spencer nodded. “Thanks. I’m finishing soon.”
Jay carried the drinks back to their table, and Spencer glanced down at her watch. She couldn’t really just go over there and join them. She wasn’t going to follow her into the bathroom either. She was hyper-aware of anything that might even remotely look like stalking. Maybe Delaney would get the next round?
Karen bent down beside her to open a box of vodka.
“I can do that,” Spencer said, picking up two bottles to fill up the empty shelf below the bar.
“Actually, you can call it a night,” Karen said as she stood up.
“What?”
“Yeah. Go on. I saw Delaney come in.”
Spencer’s mouth was open, but no words were coming out.
“Don’t you want to talk to her?” Karen asked, looking at her as if she’d lost her mind.
“I don’t know what to say,” Spencer said, her hands on her waist. “I can’t just wander over there and sit down beside her. Maybe she’ll come up and order a drink. I don’t mind working til the end of my shift.”
“Go freshen up, put on some of that salsa music, and ask her to dance.”
Spencer stared at her. That was actually a great idea. “You sure?”
“Yes,” Karen said with a smile. “Put on some music now. Might get a few other people up dancing, take the pressure off you.”
Spencer nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”
Spencer loaded up the playlist with her favorite tracks before she went into the back to take off her black work top. She only had a white tank top on underneath, but it was better than her work shirt. She pulled her hair up into another messy bun, her fingers raking through her thick locks as she twisted her hair into place and secured it with the black tie on her wrist.
