by Ann Craven
“It’s not like that, Dad.” Kenny averted his eyes from his father and found Danny shutting the door into the hall. Sunlight streamed in through the windows overlooking the grassy hill rolling down toward the quad.
“Tell me, son. What is it like?”
Asher groaned as he started to wake. “Ken?” His eyes opened, and he took in his position with alarmed eyes. Was it really that bad to be here with him?
Kenny didn’t have time to consider that. There were more pressing issues. Like his fuming father or the secret service agent who for some reason allowed Asher to stay all night.
Pushing Asher off him, Kenny stood to face his father. He scanned him from head to toe, noticing not a thing out of place. The man’s wife was caught in an affair the night before, and he strode in looking like it was business as usual.
“You’re not perfect.” Kenny’s voice was so quiet he wasn’t sure his dad heard him, but the words weren’t for his benefit. For so long, his parents held themselves up as the ideal. They were what everyone should strive to be, a united couple chasing success at any cost.
And it was all a lie.
Kenny spoke louder this time. “You’re not perfect, Dad.”
His dad bristled at that. “Ken—”
“Let me finish. You’ve had eighteen years of telling me exactly what to think and do. Now it’s my turn.”
To his credit, his dad nodded for him to go on.
“It’s okay not to be perfect. That’s an impossible standard. For so long, I tried to live up to your expectations. You had no flaws other than your obvious disregard for your son. But even that I thought was my fault. I’m not a politician, Dad. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I’ve only ever tried to project this image of myself that isn’t real.”
He took a deep breath. It was now or never. Time for courage. Time for truth. “I’m bisexual.”
His dad stared dumbfounded, but he didn’t respond.
Kenny rubbed the back of his neck. “And I think you know that. You’ve known for a long time. All that media crap over the summer? Nicky didn’t attack me. I dated him for two years before the infamous kiss. It sucked to be outed that way, but it would have been okay if my family supported me rather than trying to cover it up and shove me right back into the dark.” He breathed heavily.
Danny stepped toward Asher. “We should go. The rest of your security is waiting.”
Asher shook his head, not taking his eyes from Kenny. What did he see? A coward who’d waited this long to stand up to his dad?
Kenny didn’t think he’d been a coward, but he knew what the world saw of the closeted. He just hadn’t been ready. Even now, he wasn’t sure he was, but he knew the time had come.
“I needed you, Dad. And Mom. But you were both too absorbed in your image of the good conservative family. You abandoned me.” He glanced back at Ash. “Just like I abandoned someone.” He was no better than his dad.
“Kenneth.” His father sighed. “Your lifestyle does not fit into our world.”
“That’s just it, though. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s just a life. I don’t want to be someone I’m not anymore. Trying to be who you want me to be has cost too much.” Anger burned in him when his father looked away. “You’re cold, Dad. Maybe that’s why Mom had to find love somewhere else.”
The back of his father’s hand struck him before he even saw it coming. Kenny stumbled back, rubbing his face and staring at his dad.
His father ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Ken. I shouldn’t have done that.” Far be it for the man to lose control. “Your mother…”
“She left you, didn’t she?”
He nodded.
“For Kyle?”
Another nod.
Even after all their problems, Kenny wanted to reach out to his dad, to still be his family. He just didn’t know if that was possible anymore.
“I’m going to fire him.”
“You don’t have to do that.” His father blew out a shaky breath. “Kyle has been instrumental in getting NHL scouts to come watch you. Don’t let your mother and I mess up your dreams.”
It wasn’t what he’d expected his dad to say. For so long, he’d wanted Kenny to become a politician, saying the odds of making it in hockey were too low.
But he didn’t get a chance to ask. Throwing a stern look at Asher, his father turned. “I just came here to make sure you were okay after the news released. I’ll see myself out.”
When he shut the door, it was as if all the air suddenly poured back into the room, and Kenny could breathe again.
He collapsed back onto the couch beside Asher.
Asher looked to Danny. “Gotta say, I’m surprised to still be here. Why didn’t you wake me up to go to the hotel?”
Danny shifted his eyes away. “I...uh…fell asleep.”
Kenny barely heard their exchange because his mind was still on his father. He’d come to check on him? It surprised him his mom hadn’t called, but during what must have been a terrible time for him, his dad showed up.
It was hard to reconcile that image with the man who refused to accept him.
I’m bisexual.
Those words actually left his mouth in his father’s presence.
Asher bumped their shoulders together. “You told him.”
“Yeah.” Kenny buried his face in his hands. Coming out to his dad should have been freeing, but all Kenny could think was “what now?” Was he expected to openly date a guy? He’d never even crossed that line with Nicky.
Would he open himself up to the entire world of judgment? It wasn’t like hockey was a particularly accepting sport.
Could he have both his dream and be himself openly and proudly?
“You know it’s going to be okay, right?” Asher whispered.
Was it? Kenny replayed their kiss from the night before. In the moment, he’d been desperate to forget the night’s events, and yes, he’d wanted to kiss Asher. But it couldn’t be more than that. Not with Asher Brooks.
That would be like stepping from his closet into a circus.
Yet, sitting there next to him gave him a comfort few things ever did. “Ash.” He sighed. “I think I need some space to think.”
“Oh.” Asher’s face fell, and Kenny hated himself for the disappointment he saw there.
Danny jumped in. “We have a plane to catch back to Washington, anyway. Asher, your mother is not happy you’re here.”
Asher stood and flattened out his wrinkled shirt. “She’ll understand. There was a time Kenny was like a son to her. She wouldn’t have wanted him to go through this alone.”
He started to walk away, but Kenny reached out and grabbed his hand. “Ash…thank you.”
Asher turned a sad smile on him. “I’m glad you’ve finally let me see who you are, Ken. For the record, your parents are missing out.”
“So are all the guys who missed out on your first kiss.”
Asher’s smile widened into a grin. “I assumed we weren’t mentioning that.”
Kenny shrugged. “Everything is shit right now. I’ve got to remember the good stuff.”
“Good is boring. Try epic.”
Leave it to Asher to be able to make Kenny laugh at a time like this. “Okay. Epic. Whoever gets your next kiss, they’ll never top that.”
Asher’s smile dropped slightly, and he turned quickly, following Danny out the door.
Kenny laid his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, wishing he could be the guy who got Asher Brooks’ next kiss.
They had so much history, a lot of it bad, he didn’t see how Asher could ever feel anything for him.
Will’s door opened, and he stumbled out into the common room, rubbing his face. “Did I hear yelling this morning?”
Kenny eyed his shirtless roommate, almost laughing at how disheveled he looked. “Yeah. My dad showed up and found me asleep with Asher Brooks.”
Will froze.
Kenny didn’t say the word bi b
ut Will could put it together. They all knew of the pictures of him with Nicky.
He groaned. “I must need coffee because I think you just told me the president’s son spent the night in our dorm.” He collapsed into a chair.
“I did.”
“Oh, well, okay, man. Asher is hot, so go you.”
“Uh…”
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m totally straight and not after your man, but can’t a heterosexual male call a spade a spade?”
“Please don’t call him hot again.”
Will threw a pillow at him. “Why not? Afraid of some competition?”
“You don’t care that I like a dude?”
A raised eyebrow was Will’s only expression. “Why would I? What I do care about is that we’re teammates, and I have never once seen you checking me out in the shower.”
“You’re disgusting. Gay guys or bi guys or whatever-they-want-to-be guys don’t go ogling every man we see.”
“Yeah, but I’m a prime cut of beef. A little attention would be nice.”
Kenny threw the pillow back, laughing in satisfaction when it struck him in the face. He hadn’t realized how worried he was to tell his teammates. They all speculated, but now they’d know.
And Will didn’t care. It was a start.
Getting to his feet, Kenny shook his head. “I’m going to shower.”
“Pizza with the guys at noon?”
He rarely got together with the team anymore, but it had been tradition in previous years when he took his leadership role seriously. “Yeah, man. That sounds great.”
As Kenny waited for Will to get ready, he turned on his phone for the first time since the night before.
Nicky and Becks had both texted, but he knew they’d only be checking to see how he was.
Asher’s name popped up next.
Asher: Last night at the concert was actually fun.
Kenny smiled.
Kenny: Don’t tell Nicky.
Asher: Absolutely not.
His smile fell when he noticed three missed calls from Kyle. It wasn’t a surprise. Kyle had a few NHL players as clients, but in terms of draft prospects, Kenny was the most high profile.
With a sigh, he tapped Kyle’s name and brought the phone to his ear.
Kyle answered immediately. “Kenny, thank God. I’ve been trying to reach you all night.”
“I know.”
“Look, son—”
“I’m not your son, Kyle. For better or worse, only one man can claim me as his son—my mom’s husband.”
Kyle was silent for a moment. “Ken, you and I have been together for a while. I’ve brought scouts that have helped raise your draft profile.”
“No, my play has raised my draft profile. But you… I will admit you’ve always been good to me.”
“I have.”
Kenny rubbed his face. “That’s what makes this all suck so much. Kyle, even when my parents didn’t care, you and I were a team. But you’ve destroyed my family.”
“What family, Ken? Your mother was not happy in that farce.”
“Then she should have divorced him. I don’t care whatever excuses you and Mom give me, nothing makes this okay. I had to look into my dad’s eyes today and know everything he’d worked toward was falling down around him. We may not agree on much, but he’s my dad.”
“And she’s your mother.”
“Then maybe she should try acting like it instead of sleeping with the one man I thought I had on my side.” Kenny breathed deeply as he tried to control his temper. “Look, Kyle, I’ve come to realize I don’t have room for toxic people in my life. I’m trying the honest thing here. You’re fired.”
“You can’t fire me.”
“Actually, I can. I’m sorry it came to this.” He hung up without a goodbye just as Will came out of his room.
“You hear that?” Kenny stood.
“Yeah, sorry, man. Families suck.”
He thought of Asher’s parents and the sometimes embarrassing amount of support they gave him. “Sometimes, they do.” There’d been a time the Brooks supported him too. He wanted that back.
He wanted it all. Asher. His family. Suddenly, the spotlight didn’t matter so much.
“I think I might be in love with Asher Brooks.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the revelation hit him stronger than anything. Maybe he always had been, and that was why he’d pushed him away when Asher came out as gay.
Because it became possible.
And that was terrifying.
No matter what Kenny said, he didn’t want Asher’s next kiss to be with someone else. Yet, he also couldn’t tell him, and he knew exactly why.
There was no way Asher felt the same way. Not after everything they’d been through.
Will clapped him on the back. “I’ve gotta say, man, you aim high. I like it.”
Kenny shrugged him off and walked into the hall. Will followed. “You going to ask him to winter formal? That would be quite the scene.”
“No.” Kenny laughed. “There is no way I can bring the president’s son to a high school dance. Besides, he wouldn’t say yes.”
“Where is the Kenny confidence? Weren’t you the one who went naked into the dunk tank? We all know you’ve got man bits of steel.”
“Don’t say man bits. That’s gross.”
“Fine, I’ll quit. But I know you’ll miss me next year when you’re off in Boston, and I’m stuck here another year.”
He would. Kenny had never imagined he’d miss Will Dalton.
Since they weren’t allowed to leave campus without permission, pizza with the team meant eating in the dining hall.
Students packed the tables, and Will led Kenny to where the team sat huddled over plates piled high with pizza. After saying hi, they went into the line for food and returned. Kenny slid in next to Killian.
Killian leaned in. “Heard you weren’t on campus last night.”
Kenny shrugged. He trusted Killer, but could get in a lot of trouble. Though, he doubted his secret was really a secret since Asher’s bodyguards had accompanied them to campus.
Will pounded on the table for the team to quiet down. Voices faded. “Our own Kenny Montgomery has something he needs to talk about.”
Kenny froze. He hadn’t planned on telling the team like this, but news traveled fast, and they’d find out some way.
Will met his gaze. “These guys here are your brothers whether you’ve acted like one of us this year or not. We want our Kenny back, and that starts with honesty and ends with us being here for you.”
Kenny sucked in a breath. Will was right. Before this year, the team had been his family. He didn’t want to hide anything from them.
“I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I’m bisexual.”
They looked at him dumbfounded.
Kenny sighed. “I like girls, but I like guys too, maybe more.”
Will gave him a strange look. “Uh, Ken, I meant we were here to talk about your parents if you wanted us to. Totally wasn’t outing you, bro.”
“Oh.” Well, Kenny felt like an idiot now.
Travis, a sophomore winger, laughed. “And, what, you think we didn’t know?”
A few others nodded their heads. Some just shrugged like the news didn’t matter to them.
Will grinned. “See, Ken. We’re brothers. Can’t believe you’d think that would matter to us.”
What surprised him the most were Killian’s words beside him. “I’m gay.” He shrugged as if that term was as normal as any other, like he’d just said, “I like pizza” or “I’m a goalie.”
Maybe, they were normal.
Or, maybe, they could be.
This was the support he’d been hoping to find in his parents. They hadn’t been capable of it. How was it a team of teenage athletes who enjoyed pounding people into the boards had more compassion, more acceptance than two grown adults who were supposed to love their son?
Killian, the ever stoic—and gay—g
oalie nudged his shoulder. “How does it feel?”
“Really freaking weird. I spent a lot of time hiding it.”
“Dude, if you wanted to hide your sexuality, maybe, you shouldn’t have kissed Beckett Anderson’s boyfriend and ended up in the media for it? Just a thought.”
“Yeah.” Will laughed. “You’d make a terrible spy.”
Kenny picked a piece of pepperoni off his pizza and flung it across the table. It hit Will’s cheek. “I’d be an awesome spy.”
“No.” A new voice joined them as Wylder plopped herself down on the opposite side of Kenny. “You’d be awful.” She paid no mind to the rest of the team as she studied him. “I heard the cat is out of the bag with a certain burnt ember.”
“Burnt ember?”
“Oh, don’t pretend not to know who I’m talking about. He talked to Nicky, and Nicky talked to Becks, and Becks talked to me.”
“All in like two hours?”
“You underestimate our meddling power.”
So much for not telling Nicky they’d had a good time together. He couldn’t hold in a laugh. “You’re all ridiculous.”
“Thank you.” She smiled as if it was a great compliment. Wylder was so much like her brother, just maybe a broody version of the country star.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine. Then let’s talk about Winter Formal.”
“I wasn’t planning to go.”
She huffed. “And why wouldn’t you ask our ember friend?”
He leaned in and lowered his voice. “You can say Ash. No one will connect the dots.”
“That’s not as much fun.”
He shook his head. “He wouldn’t say yes. This whole… being honest thing is kinda a big deal for me. I need to take it all slowly. And taking a guy to the dance is not slow.”
She pursed her lips. “Fine. Then you’re taking me.”
He lifted a brow. “You don’t have a date already?” His eyes scanned the table of his teammates, and more than a few of them were watching Wylder. If she stopped her anti-academy-friend movement, she could have her pick of guys.
