I took it and looked inside to find a dark, translucent liquid. It bubbled a little—if I had to compare it to something, I would say it looked like cola. I had never seen it before; I wondered what it could be.
“What’s this?”
“It’s something I thought I would try making for my hard-working Shinichi-sama.” She smiled gently.
Ahh! What a thoughtful, attentive girl!
“Thanks, Myusel. I mean... for everything.”
“Oh, not at all...” Myusel’s bashful reaction was itself innocent and adorable. I suppressed the overwhelming flutter of moe-ness in my heart by putting the cup to my lips and taking a sip...
“Brooke-san’s tail is one of the ingredients.”
I spat out the stuff in my mouth.
“Sh-Shinichi-sama?!”
“S-Sorry,” I coughed, waving a hand at Myusel to indicate I was okay.
Ahh... The flavor that spread on my tongue, despite my aborted sip, somehow melded sweetness and bitterness—there was a hint of something smoky, too, a really sophisticated... sophisticated....................................... sophisticated what? Was that Brooke’s tail?! Why would something like that be in there?! Was this traditional charred-meat medicine?! I knew I had heard that cooked lizard tails were used in traditional Chinese medicine to promote virility or something!
No, wait, there were more important things—
“M-My computer...!” Through my coughing fit, I looked at my laptop. The stuff I’d spit out—the carbonated juice featuring Brooke’s tail, if what Myusel said was right—was all over the screen, and dribbling down onto the keyboard.
Crud! This computer wasn’t waterproof; if it got liquid inside it, it would break. Even if it didn’t come to that, getting juice all over the keyboard would probably stop a few keys from working.
“I—I need something to wipe this up with...!” I looked around for a rag or a cloth or something. “Hrgh—!”
Maybe I looked a little too enthusiastically, because when I twisted around, I lost my balance and fell out of my chair. And I was still holding the almost half-full cup.
Meaning...
“Yikes!”
“Shinichi-sama!”
The cup went flying. I tumbled onto the floor directly underneath it. And so I ended up covered pretty much from head to toe in Myusel’s mystery liquid.
“Ahh! My eyes! Ow, ow...!”
The juice must have gotten in my eyes, because I pressed my hands to them and screamed like a certain Colonel. But then I could feel Myusel crouching beside me.
“Are—Are you okay?”
“Er... Y-Yeah, I think so.” I blinked a few times; the pain went away quickly as my tears naturally carried the juice away.
Myusel looked sadly at the ground. “I’m so sorry, I never imagined—”
“Aw, it’s not your fault, Myusel, don’t worry about it. You made it for me, didn’t you?”
When you got a homemade nutrient drink, you were almost guaranteed a questionable product full of who knew what. The food and the tea Myusel made us were always so good that I had let my guard down.
Then again, considering how Myusel talked about it, it seemed like maybe including lizardman tail wasn’t so strange to the people here. When I collected myself and asked her about it, it turned out that indeed, charred, grated lizardman tail had been an ingredient in that drink. Obviously you didn’t just plunk the tail right in there; you just used a little from the very end. After a few days, Brooke would grow it back. The carbonation, meanwhile, helped mask the smell, while she had achieved the sweetness with a big dollop of honey to counter the bitter flavor. If it weren’t for my own preconceptions, there really wouldn’t have been anything to object to about it.
“Man, though, is this stuff sticky,” I said. The juice had soaked my hair, and I had to be careful even opening my eyes. I wanted to wipe my face, but it was all over my shirt, too, so there was nothing to wipe with.
“Shinichi-sama, how about you take a bath?” Myusel said, using her apron to dab around my eyes.
“Good idea... That would probably be quickest.”
“Give me your hand... I’ll guide you there,” she said, and took my hand.
Ahh! I’m holding hands with an adorable maid-san! ...is what I would normally be thinking, and thanking God that I was born, but at the moment I couldn’t even manage that. The juice was dripping from my hair into my eyes again.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I can get there myself, so maybe you could take care of cleaning my room—especially the computer.”
“Oh, right away!”
“S-Sorry about this, Myusel... I know you made that special for me.”
“No, I’m the one who should apologize.” I could tell from her voice how heartbroken she was.
“I really appreciate the thought behind it, Myusel. People from my country just don’t have a tradition of eating—or, uh, drinking?—stuff like that, so I was a little surprised... see?” I put a hand on the wall to steady myself.
All this fuss about lizardman tail (which, to be fair, was also part of the body of a friend of mine) mostly came down to a difference in perspective. I mean, there were tribes on Earth with traditions of cannibalism.
“So don’t worry about it.”
“Uh, umm... Th-Thank you very much, Shinichi-sama.” Myusel sounded just a little bit cheered up. I used the wall to guide me out of the room and toward the bath.
Thus I found myself taking my second bath of the day.
I was always given the privilege of being the first person in the bath. That was because of my status as the master of the house; that is, Amutech’s general manager. That logic made Hikaru-san second, Minori-san third, and after that Myusel and the others. Honestly, the order didn’t matter that much to me, but as Myusel, among others, flatly refused to bathe before I did, I ended up taking an early bath every night. Everyone was willing to eat together because we were simply all in the same place—everyone raised to equal social status, as it were—but when it came to bathing order, it seemed the master was going to be first and that was that.
Well, anyway.
“Ergh...” I stood next to the door in the changing area, pulled off my shirt, and wiped my face and hair with the still-clean back. “Ahh... That’s the stuff.”
My face and body were gooey, and my hair seemed to go stiff when I rubbed it with my shirt, leaving it in a ’do that sort of made me want to shout, “Awaken! Super Nihonjin Level 3!” But still. It was refreshing.
“All right, let’s get in that bath.”
I didn’t want to leave poor Myusel to do the cleaning all by herself, so I would just rinse off and then go help. I sloughed off my pants and underwear, tossing them into the basket in the changing room.
“Oh... Oops.”
I realized I had forgotten a change of clothes. Oh well, my pants were still wearable. I could pull them back on after my bath and go get something to change into.
With that thought in my head, I glanced into the basket...
“Huh?”
Someone else’s clothes were in there, too. Short pants and a tube top. Were these... Elvia’s?
“No way...” I said. Was this—you know? The infamous trope?! The one where she bumps into an old flame on the street corner and—I mean, the basic “Lucky Pervert” routine? Me, my beautiful female roommate, and a chance meeting in the bath? O God! Megathanks!
No! No! This was no time to stand around feeling ecstatic. Why, just earlier at dinner, Hikaru-san had been giving me the evil eye...
That was when the door to the bath opened from the other side. And who should appear, obscured by the steam, but a completely naked Elvia!
“Eeeeeeeeeek!!”
There was a scream and a desperate attempt to cover a fully exposed front—by me.
Both of us bumping into each other, naked in the bath! What a cliché! Elvia had her towel around her head, and her bouncing, springy, sproingy breasts were right there in fron
t of my eyes! My very eyes! Elvia, aren’t you going to do something about that?! Are you going to let them just hang out there, staring at meeeeeee?! No, wait—or are you looking—looking at me—looking at my zxkgh (technical difficulties—please stand by)?!
...And so on and so forth. Unable to resist the nature of a man, I stood there stiff as a board but couldn’t tear my eyes away from the equally immobilized Elvia. And that’s when I noticed...
“Huh?”
I couldn’t see so well for the steam, but I could just make out her tail peeking out from behind her, and it looked kind of... white...?
“Elvia...?” I asked.
Or... not Elvia?
I forgot all about hiding my shame as I looked even harder, trying to figure out what felt off. Just then, the girl standing before me seemed to register what was in front of her. Huh? Hey, hold on. On closer inspection—
“Shinichi-kun?!”
Bam! The door slammed into my back.
More precisely, it was kicked into my back with the force of an explosion.
“Yow!”
And that sent me tumbling into Elvia.
And then...
“Shinichi-sama!”
“What’s going on?!”
I heard a crowd of footsteps muscling into the changing area, and Myusel and Minori-san’s voices. They must have come running when I screamed. The one who knocked opened the door like a SWAT team member assaulting a barricaded suspect was, needless to say, Minori-san.
“Urgh...” I shook my head, aware of a stinging pain in my back. My head was resting against something soft; that had helped me avoid a concussion when I fell..................... Wait.
Don’t tell me...
With a great deal of fear and trembling, I lifted my head to confirm the identity of the mysterious, pillowy thing I’d landed on.
Two magnificent hillocks spread before my eyes. Soft, pale skin rose and descended into gentle curves, as if calling out for me to touch them again, and indeed—
No, wait.
O God, my God, what is it you want of me?
Behold: Minori-san kicked open the door, which knocked me over, which knocked Elvia over, and, believe it or not, landed my face directly in the bountiful valley of her chest.
No, wait again.
What did that mean? It meant that the little bud, rising up from her breast to brush my cheek, was— must have been— Hrrrghzkd?!
“Sh-Shinichi-kun......!”
Minori-san’s voice cut through my technical difficulties and brought me back to reality.
But I quickly realized that staying insane might have been the better option!
“Have you finally—have you finally...?!”
“N-No! No, I haven’t, Minori-san!”
What do you have against me, God?!
To put me in this situation... at this exact moment!
I scrambled to my feet, trying to make some excuse, trying to argue for my innocence.
I found myself confronted with a very startled Minori-san and Myusel. Minori-san had retained a modicum of composure, but Myusel was standing there shaking, her eyes the size of saucers and her hands over her mouth. She looked as if she had seen something unspeakable—as if she might faint clean away at any moment.
“You’re the reason I’m in this situation, Minori-san!”
This was nothing more than a Lucky Pervert thing! There was no malice aforethought! This was just the sort of trope any shonen manga would deploy against its protagonist! Please believe me!
I looked pleadingly at Myusel. Minori-san’s contempt I could endure, but if she, the oasis of my heart, were to regard me with a cold, scornful gaze, what a reward—er, I mean, I probably couldn’t survive it.
Our eyes met.
And the next second, Myusel gave a voiceless shout, covering her face with her hands. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, turned her back on me.
Was... Was it that bad?!
I stood dizzy with the shock for a second before I realized. Before I remembered what I was wearing—or in this case, not wearing.
“Eeeeeeek!” I sort of curled up and used my hands to cover what was between my legs.
“Maybe you could try for a more manly scream next time?” Minori-san asked with a touch of exasperation.
“P-Please don’t be so calm! You could l-look away, at least!”
“Relax. I’m not looking.”
Nonetheless, she politely turned around, putting a hand on Myusel’s shoulder. I quickly collected my underwear and pants and pulled them on.
“We still waiting on you, Shinichi-kun?” Minori-san asked.
“Y-You’re good. I’m decent now.”
First Minori-san, and then, hesitantly, Myusel turned back around. It didn’t bother me so much with Minori-san, but looking at Myusel made me feel distinctly embarrassed.
“Aargh... Shinichi can’t be a bride anymore...” I groaned.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure Garius will still take you.”
“Stop that.” This wasn’t funny to me. “Anyway, this is your fault for kicking that door open, Minori-san... Oh, by the way, sorry, Elvia.” I had been so caught up in my own humiliation that I had completely forgotten about Elvia, whom I had knocked over, even if it was an accident. Even if she didn’t accuse me of sexual harassment or whatever, it must have been a pretty painful fall.
With that in mind, I turned back to the bath, but—
“Huh?” I didn’t see Elvia anywhere. “Where’d she go...?”
“She showed herself out a few minutes ago,” Minori-san said. Apparently, while I had been busy fretting about Myusel, Elvia had quietly left. I could see the basket no longer had her clothes in it. She had been shockingly quick and quiet.
But still... I stood in thought for a moment.
“What’s up, Shinichi-kun?”
“Hmm... Nothing...”
I had been tangled up with Elvia once before (involuntarily, you understand), and not only hadn’t it seemed to bother her, I even recall her saying something like that she wouldn’t mind being jumped if it was by me. Even if she had been kidding, if she could make a joke like that to someone who had just fallen on top of her, I had trouble believing she would just run away in embarrassment now.
“.........Naw.”
I thought about how Elvia had been acting strange all day.
About the white tail I thought I had glimpsed a few minutes ago.
And about how “Elvia” had slipped away just now without a word.
What in the world was going on?
There was no school the next day. I still got up at the same time, but it was nice not to immediately have to do anything. I could just do what I felt like, when I felt like it.
At the same time, though, since I had insisted that everyone eat breakfast together, I couldn’t go arbitrarily changing mealtimes.
“G’morning...” I said, stifling a yawn.
“Good morning, Master.”
“Morning.”
“Good morning.”
There were three people in the dining area. The first greeting came from Myusel, who was setting the table. Then Minori-san, then Hikaru-san. All of them must have been up way earlier than I was, but none of them looked remotely sleepy.
“I’ll have breakfast ready in a minute.”
“Sure, thanks.” I smiled and went to pull out a chair. Glancing absently around the breakfast nook, I saw Cerise coming out of the kitchen, the food (made by Myusel, most likely) on the table. And then...
“Mornin’. I’m starvin’!”
In walked Elvia.
As usual, she was all smiles despite the early hour. I guess the events of the night before hadn’t got her down at all. Me, I was still embarrassed and apologetic; I could feel the heat in my cheeks just thinking about it.
“Say, uh, Elvia...”
“Yeah? What’s up?” She wandered over to me.
“I’m, uh... sorry about last night.”
“Huh?�
� she blinked. “What about last night?”
It was like she didn’t remember anything had even happened. Or maybe she was so embarrassed, she was just deflecting? But...
“Oh, uh, I mean when I...”
It wasn’t like this was a secret or anything, but it still didn’t feel like something I wanted to share at the top of my lungs. I leaned in and whispered, “When I fell on top of you...”
“Whaaa?!” Elvia exclaimed.
My care and delicacy were all for naught. Minori-san and Hikaru-san, and even Myusel and Cerise making the food, looked over to see what was going on. And then...
“A-Aaammaaaaa!!” Elvia howled, balling her hands into fists.
She was obviously extremely angry—but a second later she realized what she was doing, and threw her hands over her mouth. Unfortunately, of course, it was too late to take the word back.
“Ama?” I said. “You mean, like... Amatena?”
“Oh! No, uh-uh, no, you can just, uh, ignore me!” Elvia pointedly refused to meet my gaze. But no matter where she looked, she found someone looking back at her. She started shifting uncomfortably—then grabbed her freshly-prepared breakfast in both hands. “I—uh, I’m going to eat in my room today!” she said, then sped out of the dining area.
The rest of us watched her go.
“Something weird is going on,” I said, and everybody nodded. Something was wrong with Elvia, and everyone could see it. “She suddenly wants to eat in her room, use one of our isolated sheds, and sneak into the bath at night...” I crossed my arms. “If this were your standard anime, she would be secretly keeping a pet or something. You know, like a stray dog.”
“You think a werewolf would adopt a dog?” Minori-san said drily.
“Humans keep monkeys, don’t they?”
“That’s not the point,” Hikaru-san said in annoyance.
“What, you think maybe it’s a cat? A bird? Maybe there’s a whole litter in there?”
“Still not what I’m talking about. Listen, if nothing else, it’s obvious that she’s hiding something.” Hikaru-san shifted his shoulders. “And she’s a terrible liar.”
“You’ve got that right.”
Back when we first apprehended Elvia, it had been immediately apparent that she was much too honest to make a decent spy—her cover had more holes than a ratty dishrag. Her best play would have been to just keep her mouth shut, but instead she got nervous when we started to suspect her, and that made her start spouting random excuses. And that didn’t do her story any favors.
Outbreak Company: Volume 11 Page 5
