Lost without You: A Single Dad Small Town Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 2)

by Lea Coll

  She’d kept things professional since our Friday night phone call. I hoped to break through her emotional defenses tonight. I let her lead me to a side room where people were milling about checking out the items.

  “I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

  “I spoke to the front office about it. It’s not like I called the athletes personally.”

  She smiled. “However, you did it, thank you.”

  I stood taller, rolling my shoulders back at her praise. We walked around the room scanning the items, tickets for a cruise to Bermuda, signed footballs and jerseys, season tickets. I paused at one that offered a date with one of Baltimore’s football players. That wasn’t one of the auction items I’d discussed with Avery. “What’s this?”

  Avery looked away as if she was embarrassed. “That was Dylan’s idea. She called the contact you gave her and spun her magic.”

  “Did you bid on it?” The question was out of my mouth before I thought about how it looked to her. Was it a good idea to show how much it would bother me if she won a blind date with a professional football player?

  Before my eyes scanned down the list of bidders, she placed a hand on her chest. “Me? No. Definitely not.”

  I relaxed slightly. “You don’t want to date an athlete?”

  “First of all, it’s not a real date. It’s more of a publicity stunt to raise money.” She was rambling again, her cheeks pink, her hand tightened around my arm.

  The desire I felt for her coiled tight in my stomach. I wanted to find out if she was as attracted to me as I was to her. “Good to know one date with me doesn’t have you bidding on other options.”

  She glanced up at me, her expression shy. “Thank you for making this happen.”

  She’d already said that. She was deflecting. Every time I tried to get close, she’d change the subject, push me away, removing herself from a potentially intimate moment. “Why do you do that?”

  “Do what?” Her eyes shifted to the side then back to me.

  “Why do you push me away when we get close?” I kept my voice low.

  She shook her head slowly as if trying to figure out why I was asking. “I don’t. That’s not what’s happening.”

  “Isn’t it? Every time I get too personal, you change the subject.” I held my body still, waiting for her response.

  She licked her lips. “I told you I’m awkward in public. This is no different.”

  “No. It’s not awkwardness.” I remembered our conversation in her conference room, when she’d revealed a little of her family but stopped short of telling me why she’d sympathized with my situation. Or when I’d mentioned being drawn to her, she’d immediately gotten off the phone.

  I touched her cheek, wanting to ground her in this moment, stopping her escape mentally and emotionally. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and uncertain.

  I made her uncomfortable. I hoped it was a good sign, that whatever she was feeling was different, maybe more then she’d felt for anyone else.

  “Avery? Thank God. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Dylan appeared next to us, her gaze pausing on my hand on Avery’s face. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something—”

  Avery smiled tightly, taking a step back. “You’re not. What can I help with?”

  “If you’re sure? I could use your help with the silent auction.”

  “Of course. I’ll find you in a bit, Griffin.” She walked away without meeting my eyes.

  Was Avery not into me or was she fighting it? I hoped for the latter but wanted to know why she was fighting it. What was it she didn’t like? Was it that I cared for my nephew? It wasn’t something I’d thought about before. After Lorelai betrayed me, I hadn’t thought I’d be interested in dating anyone for a long time. I’d never contemplated dating when I had a child to consider.

  “You’re the one behind all of this?” A blond man stopped in front of me, tugging on his collar.

  “I helped.” He clearly knew me, but I hadn’t met him.

  He held his hand out to me. “Cade Morrison. I’m with Hadley. Kids Speak is her thing.”

  “Griffin Locke.”

  “I’m not going to pretend I don’t know who you are.”

  “My life has been public. I went to a lot of these events when I lived in California.”

  “Thanks for helping the women with this. They are worried about Kids Speak being a success here.”

  I’d researched the organization after I saw the pictures in their conference room. From everything I’d read, it was a success in New Orleans, a well-respected, well-run organization. “I’m sure it will be. Anything worth doing takes time.”

  “I think so too. I run my own nonprofit. Did Avery tell you?”

  I tensed, worried he’d hit me up for a donation. “She mentioned something.”

  “Morrison Rebuilds. We renovate homes to make them handicapped accessible. Dylan’s helping to raise funds so that I’m not personally covering as much of the costs.”

  “Dylan seems to have a knack for getting people to do what she wants.” Although in this case, I was happy Avery asked me to help with the silent auction. I was here, getting to know her better.

  Cade shook his head. “She does. That’s why I appreciate her help. I don’t like handling the financial side of things.”

  “That’s great.” It was nice not to be asked to back the program. No one led me to the donation table or asked me to pledge money.

  Cade pointed at the bar. “Want to get a drink? I don’t think the women will need us much tonight.”

  “Sure.” I followed him to the bar.

  I asked for a beer, scanning the room as I leaned against the bar top. When I found Avery, she was talking animatedly to Hadley, her hands flying in time with her mouth. I liked her like this, confident in herself.

  “Avery doesn’t like these things, does she?” I asked before taking a sip of the beer on tap.

  “You know, Hadley mentioned something about her not wanting to come. I think Dylan convinced her.”

  The room was full of people mingling by the items up for auction, reading the captions below the Kids Speak pictures outlining the success of the program. “Everything looks great.”

  “Hadley was worried it would collapse without her dad’s backing. Dylan and Avery were adamant she could do it.”

  “Tell me more about Morrison Rebuilds.” I was so used to being needed for my money, my name, the fact that these people didn’t, was glaringly obvious. I liked it. Maybe I’d have some friends here after all.

  Cade and I talked about his nonprofit and his contracting business. I told him about my experience with backing various charities. After Damon and Lorelai’s betrayal, it would be a bad idea to get financially involved with either nonprofit, but I could offer advice.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” A blond man stepped next to Cade.

  “You just getting here?” Cade asked him.

  “Yeah, stayed late on the job.” The man’s eyes shifted to me.

  “Griffin, this is my brother Nolan. Nolan, this is Griffin Locke.”

  I held out my hand to him. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Nolan’s my partner at Morrison Rebuilds.”

  Before I could respond, Hadley slid between me and Cade. “Oh good. You met.”

  Cade put his hand on her lower back. “We have to stick together at these events. I’m happy to have someone to talk to.”

  “Hey.” Avery stood facing us, her eyes uncertain.

  “Did you want something to drink?” I moved closer to her, wanting to remind her we were here together.

  Hadley twirled to face the bar, her finger up in the air to call the bartender. “We need to celebrate. One glass of champagne before I announce the winners of the silent auction.”

  Avery stood a foot away from me, not claiming me as her date. I should have been disappointed, I was so used to women hanging on my arm, sidling up to me, whether they were officially my date or not. Avery was d
ifferent. I had to pursue her, convince her to take a shot with me. Each time we talked either in her conference room or over the phone, she impressed me with her kind words and concern for Declan and me. She gave me little bits of herself but held back. Everything she revealed made me want to know more.

  I kept my eyes on Avery while Hadley asked for two glasses of champagne, handing one to Avery.

  Dylan approached. “Where’s mine?”

  “One more,” Hadley asked the bartender. When all three were holding glasses, Hadley lifted hers. “Thank you for supporting me, for going out of your comfort zones to make tonight happen. To Kids Speak.”

  “To Arrington, Gannon & Winters,” Dylan said.

  The women clinked glasses, taking long sips.

  My eyes lowered to Avery’s pink lips, the bubbles clinging to hers. I wanted to lick her lips, tasting the sweet drink. Our eyes met. I wanted to place my hands on her hips pulling her into my body. I lifted my head, scanning the room for the string quartet I’d seen earlier. The dance floor now had several couples moving in time to the music.

  “Would you like to dance?” I asked her, the only way I could think to get my hands on her.

  Dylan nudged her toward me.

  “Sure.” Avery’s eyes darted from Dylan to me before she took a small step closer to me.

  I placed my hand on her back, guiding her.

  We stopped on the dance floor, she turned to face me, her expression uncertain. “We don’t have to dance. You know, if you were asking to be polite.”

  I tilted my head a little surprised she was giving me an out. Was it low self-esteem or another effort to push me away? “Why would I ask you to dance to be polite?”

  “Isn’t it expected that your date dance with you?” Avery looked perplexed, her brow furrowed, her nose adorably wrinkled.

  I chuckled. This woman, sexy, intriguing, and completely clueless. I pulled her into my body, her hand in mine, the other on her hip. I didn’t feel any panties under my fingers which made me think she was commando under her dress. I loved having her close, but I shifted so there was some space between us so she wouldn’t feel how much I liked it.

  I lowered my head until my mouth was by her ear. “Have you not dated a lot or do I make you nervous?”

  She shivered as my words coasted over her ear. I wanted to dip my head and place a kiss on her bare shoulder, but I resisted.

  “It’s not you. Situations like these make me nervous in general. I told you that.” Her head tilted up, raw honesty in her eyes.

  I appreciated she didn’t try and deflect. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, wanting to see if it was as silky as it looked. “You did but I didn’t believe you.”

  “Well, it’s true. I’m an awkward date.”

  “I wouldn’t say that.” Nervous maybe, but not awkward. “Why do you think that?”

  She rolled her eyes before resting her gaze on my shirt. “I was alone a lot as a kid. I didn’t have a lot of friends. I’ve always felt clueless in social situations, like people are judging me.”

  “You didn’t go to homecoming, prom, play sports?” She was so beautiful, every admission tugged at me, making me want to hear more. I couldn’t imagine another guy hadn’t seen the same thing I did even in high school when most boys are clueless.

  She chuckled without humor, shaking her head. “No. Definitely not.”

  “Why?” I held my breath, hoping she’d let me in, tell me what held her back, made her erect walls.

  “I was an awkward, shy teenager, too afraid to go out for a sport. Worried everyone would make fun of me for trying. I wasn’t exactly coordinated.”

  “Did someone make fun of you?” This conversation reminded me of when we were talking about Julian being bullied. She’d acted like she knew what I was talking about. I couldn’t imagine anyone hassling her, but the implication raised every one of my protective instincts.

  She cleared her throat. “I asked you here as a thank you for your help. You’re my client. We can’t date.”

  My eyes narrowed on her. “There you go again.”

  “What are you talking about?” Her eyes sparked with irritation.

  “You change the subject whenever things get personal.”

  Her forehead wrinkled. “I do not. I told you how I was alone as a kid. My parents worked a lot.”

  That was one detail she’d given me. It wasn’t much. It wasn’t the reason she was the way she was. It wasn’t like she was awkward. Maybe nervous or anxious, but not truly awkward. She wasn’t saying stupid things or embarrassing herself. “I don’t think it’s as bad as you think.”

  She smiled sadly. “It doesn’t matter. After tonight I’ll go back to my apartment, read the rest of my book.”

  For the first time all night, her shoulders relaxed, her eyes softened, her lips tugged into a smile.

  “You like to read?” I cataloged every morsel she gave me, saving it for later. Eventually I’d have enough to paint a picture of her—Avery’s reality—the one she worked so hard to hide.

  “I do. I love living vicariously through characters. I can do things, go places, I couldn’t otherwise.”

  I loved reading before bed too. It was something Lorelai hadn’t appreciated. She preferred to watch TV or talk. She wanted my attention. One more reason we weren’t compatible in the end.

  “Can you really not do things, or do you think you can’t do things?” I was trying to get to the truth, but it felt like I was talking in circles. It must be how an attorney felt when they were questioning a witness on the stand.

  “I don’t think I understand the question.”

  “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re a smart woman.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “You’re an attorney. You’re avoiding my original question. Why do you think you’re not the strong, confident, amazing woman that I’ve seen?”

  She smiled but looked away as if she had to separate herself from my words. “You’re sweet but—”

  “But what? There’s some other authority on this that I know nothing about?” I lowered my voice.

  Her lips twitched. “Possibly.”

  I pulled her closer so that her head was tucked under my chin, her cheek resting on my chest. Holding her felt right, settled some of the restlessness I’d experienced since Julian died. “I want to know everything about you, Avery. I want to show you that you’re wrong about yourself.”

  I couldn’t see her face, but she was probably thinking I didn’t have the skills to get to the bottom of what was going on, but I knew I affected her more than anyone else, and I bet no one else had ever tried to figure her out. She thought she wasn’t worth getting to know, but she was.

  She stopped dancing, pulling back to look at my face. “What do you stand to get out of this?”

  Did she think I just wanted to get into her pants? “A friend and maybe something more.”

  “What if I don’t want something more?”

  “I think you do.” My comment was cocky, calculated, to bring out her feisty side. When I challenged her, she responded instinctually. She wasn’t overcome with worries or negative thoughts about herself.

  “I won’t fall at your feet like those society types you date.”

  I liked that she’d looked me up. She was curious about me. “Lorelai wasn’t a society type. We met in college. She was my lab partner in freshman biology. She was around from the beginning.”

  “Lorelai, your business partner, and you were all friends in college?”

  “Yes.” My tone was bitter. It shouldn’t still hurt. Lorelai had done me a favor. I returned home in time to spend time with Julian before he died.

  “Wow. I’m sorry about what they did to you.”

  I wanted to clear the air. “I’m over it. It was more than six months ago. I’m happier living here with the time to figure out what I want to do with my life.”

  At this point, we’d danced to a couple of songs. I’d
expected her to pull away after the first but she seemed completely engrossed in our conversation, in us.

  “That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy.”

  Guilt hit me that I’d momentarily forgotten the reason I was here, that I’d admitted to being happier. “I’m not happy about the circumstances. I’m grateful I could be here for Declan.”

  “Do you plan to stay?” Her back stiffened, indicating she cared.

  “I don’t know yet.” I liked she was concerned I might leave. It meant I affected her. Avery intrigued me, I was starting to make friends and a home here, but my parents could help out more with Declan than I could. I wasn’t a father but I couldn’t discount that he didn’t want to leave and I was supposed to be avoiding any big changes.

  “It might not be something you were prepared for, but maybe it’s what’s best for Declan.”

  I stilled. Her confidence in me spread warmth through my body. “You haven’t met him, and you barely know me.”

  “I think I’m starting to. Any boy would be lucky to have you in his corner. His mother hasn’t returned, has she?”

  “No. I had her investigated when Julian died. She goes from one guy to the next, moving around constantly. The investigator thought she looked for rich guys, ones who owned businesses, who could provide for her.”

  “She never looked back. It’s like Declan means nothing to her, but everything to you. You’re worried you aren’t good enough for him, but that’s what makes a great father.”

  A tingle ran down my spine. Was this a clue about her? “How is your relationship with your family? All you’ve said is that they weren’t home a lot.”

  Avery sighed. “Their architectural firm is everything to them. My brother was so much older I didn’t know him. He’s been gone as long as I can remember. He plans to re-up his Navy contract for another thirteen years, so that probably won’t change.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “Yeah, we’re essentially only children.”

  “He’s never tried to reach out as an adult?”

  Her face was smooth as if it didn’t bother her. “No. His life is busy. He has a child. He’s a pilot.”