Lost without You: A Single Dad Small Town Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 2)

by Lea Coll

  Declan nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer.

  I threw my leg over the bike. “Let’s ride. I’m getting hungry.”

  Declan was my responsibility now. I wasn’t sure at first if I could handle parenting, but I was doing it. I wasn’t any different than other parents who questioned their ability from time to time, The thought of Declan living with someone else at this point was unimaginable.

  We rode our bikes down the trail into Annapolis toward the marketplace, hoping to grab a sandwich and eat it by the water. I loved my hometown. It was busy at times with tourists or when there was a boat or art show, but it was quaint, filled with good restaurants, stores, and historical buildings. We locked our bikes, entering the marketplace, which had been renovated since the last time I was home.

  We grabbed sandwiches and drinks to walk to the harbor. It was a Saturday, so the area was bustling with families and tourists. We ate quickly, hungry from the bike ride.

  “Did you want to see anything else while we’re here?” I considered the crowd of people by the harbor which seemed to increase as we sat, wondering where we could go that would be quieter.

  Declan shook his head. “Not really.”

  I tried to think of something he’d be interested in seeing. I wasn’t ready to go back to the house. He’d want to play video games as soon as we were back. “Have you toured the Naval Academy?”

  “No.” His eyes lit up with interest.

  I checked the time. “If we get there soon, we might be able to see roll call. Before lunch, midshipmen gather in their uniforms for roll call, playing the fight song before they march into the dining hall.”

  “Okay.” Declan gathered up our trash, throwing it into a nearby can.

  “It’s close enough to walk from here. We’ll get our bikes on the way back.” I made sure our bikes were locked before we walked the few streets over to the side gate for campus. Tourists milled about, taking pictures of the buildings before heading into the visitor’s center.

  I checked my phone for details on roll call. “It’s supposed to start at noon in front of Bancroft Hall.”

  We found a spot we’d be able to see once it started. What age would Declan think a Saturday morning bike ride was a waste of his time or a visit to the Naval Academy boring? It would probably be soon. I’d need to soak up these moments with him.

  Each day I spent with him, the closer we got. His worries about me leaving him this morning solidified my decision to be his guardian. I couldn’t let him down.

  The midshipmen began to assemble into a formation. Declan read from a brochure we’d picked up by the visitor’s center, “It says there’re four thousand students.”

  “Wow.” I scanned the crowd as the battalions called roll, then the music started. My gaze snagged on a woman with long dark hair similar to Avery’s. I wanted to see her so badly I’d conjured her here.

  The woman appeared to be alone, standing off to the side. Unable to see her face, I turned my attention to the midshipmen. Once roll was completed, the song finished, they marched into the hall.

  “What did you think?” I asked as the crowd around us began to dissipate.

  “It was neat.”

  The highest compliment I’d get from a kid. “Did you want to see anything else or should we head back home?”

  “Griffin?” a woman’s voice asked.

  My pulse quickened when I turned to find Avery standing in a yellow sundress and flip-flops, sunglasses perched on her head, her brow raised in question.

  “I thought that was you.”

  “You saw me?” She tilted her head slightly to consider me, the dark hair around her face making her blue eyes stand out.

  My fingers itched to reach for her, pull her close like I had on the dance floor. “I didn’t see your face, but I thought it looked like your hair.”

  Admitting I’d noticed her hair or that the sight of long hair immediately made me think of her was telling. Something told me I’d need to be up front with her or she’d ignore any signs that I was interested in her.

  “What are you doing here?” Her gaze rested on Declan, who was watching her with interest.

  “I thought Declan might like to see the roll call. Declan, this is my attorney, Avery Arrington.”

  “Nice to meet you, Declan.” Avery smiled.

  “Hi.” Declan shook her outstretched hand.

  I loved that she treated him as a person.

  Avery’s gaze moved from Declan to me. “My brother, Mason, attended the Naval Academy. I went to his graduation but didn’t get a chance to explore campus.”

  “Does your brother fly planes?” Declan asked, sounding impressed.

  Avery smiled as if she’d known he’d be interested. “Fighter jets, actually. When he’s deployed, he lives on an aircraft carrier, practicing flying, dropping missiles.”

  “That’s so cool.” Declan’s voice raised in excitement.

  “Do you think you might like to fly one day?” Avery asked him.

  “I would.” Declan glanced at me as if to gauge my reaction.

  “You can do whatever you put your mind to,” I assured him.

  “If you decide you’d like to come here, I’ll talk to my brother, see if he can tell you whatever you’d like to know.”

  Was she just being polite? I thought she’d said she wasn’t close to her brother.

  “Does he live here?” Declan asked.

  “No. He’s based out of Norfolk.” Avery fell silent.

  “Hey, can I go look at the statue?” Declan pointed at the one in front of Bancroft Hall.

  The crowd had dissipated so I could keep an eye on him. “Yes.”

  “Did you mean it about your brother talking to him?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I think he’d love to talk to another child who has the same passion as him. He’s always been adamant that the Academy saved him.” A shadow passed over her face then she added, “Apparently the mother of his child left. He’ll be deploying soon and needs my parents to watch him.”

  “That’s rough. Were they married?”

  “No. They’d divorced a year or so after Everett was born.”

  “I know you’re not close but why didn’t Mason consider you as a possibility to watch his son?” I wanted to know this answer for selfish reasons. I wanted to know if she’s said no, if she didn’t like children.

  She bit her lip. “I barely know Everett. That’s partially my fault, I suppose. I didn’t try to get to know him. I didn’t visit because Everett lived with his mother, Darlene, most of the time, and I don’t know her. Mason only has every other weekend visitation when he’s not deployed.”

  She paused as if deep in thought, so I waited her out, watching Declan circle the statue, then stopping to talk animatedly to another child.

  “Maybe I should change that.” She bit her lip as if the thought worried her.

  I turned my attention to her, happy she was interested in making a connection with her brother and nephew. “I think that’s a good idea.”

  “You do?”

  “It’s never too late to make the effort. I’m so grateful I moved back even if it was only a month before Julian died.”

  Her face softened. “That’s true.”

  I wanted to know more about her, what shaped her, what influenced her. “Did you grow up in Virginia?”

  Her gaze was trained on Declan. “Yeah, in Virginia Beach. I met Dylan in law school in Baltimore, got a job, and stayed.”

  “You didn’t want to go back?” I watched her to see her reaction.

  Her face pinched. “There wasn’t anything for me there. This is my home now.”

  The sun filtered through the leaves, patches of sunlight on her hair, and face. “I’m glad we ran into you.”

  “You are?” Her face lifted to mine.

  “Yeah. We can walk around together.” I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to spend more time with Avery.

  Her gaze drifted to Declan, then back to me.
“Okay.”

  Her expression was soft.

  I wanted to see her like this more often. As much as I liked the feisty side of her, I liked this soft and sweet side more.

  She gestured at the building the midshipmen marched into, then to the chapel. “You already know this is Bancroft Hall. We can’t go inside while they’re eating, but the brochure says we can tour the chapel as long as there aren’t any weddings or services going on.”

  “That would be great.”

  I approached Declan. “Hey, buddy. Want to check out the church?”

  Declan dropped the stick he’d picked up to play with, brushing his hands off on his shorts. “Sure.”

  “We can’t stay too long. I don’t want him to be too tired to bike back,” I whispered to Avery so Declan couldn’t hear.

  “No problem. We can see the church, then maybe check out the visitor center. He might like the model planes.”

  Declan perked up. “Model planes?”

  “Yeah, but let’s see the church first, okay?” I told him.

  Declan nodded in agreement.

  We walked across the manicured gardens of the quad to the church. It was an imposing stone building covered with a green dome.

  “It doesn’t look like there’s a wedding today.” The large black doors were propped open, inviting us inside.

  We walked up the steps inside the building. Large stained glass windows lined the walls, depicting what looked to be various Naval stories, the walls curved into a dome in the ceiling.

  “It seats twenty-five-hundred people and the organ is the largest in the world,” Avery continued to read from the brochure.

  “Neat.” Declan walked ahead of us.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I think I have only a few more years of him being interested in things like this before teenage boredom takes over.”

  “That’s probably true. Are you enjoying being with him?” We’d stopped at the front of the church.

  “I am. I’m enjoying getting to know him better. The reasons I’m here suck though.” I kept one eye on Declan who was respectfully taking in the grandeur of everything, and another on Avery. I was proud that Declan was the kind of kid I could trust to be out of reach and not cause any trouble.

  “You’re doing a great job with him.” Her lips curved into a smile.

  “I think the credit goes to Julian in this case. I’m glad I ran into you.” I wanted to reach out and touch a strand of her hair like I had at the fundraiser, but my words sat in the air between us.

  “You are?” She tilted her head back to look at my face.

  “Yeah, I like to see you like this, relaxed, happy.” I placed my hands in my pockets to stop my compulsion to touch her, rocking back on my heels.

  She grimaced. “I can be a little uptight at work.”

  Declan started walking back down the aisle toward the exit, so we followed.

  I bumped her shoulder playfully with my arm. “I’m intense when I’m working too.”

  We walked to the visitor’s center where Declan ran from one exhibit to another, talking me into a model plane from the gift shop. I didn’t usually enjoy museums, but I stopped at each exhibit pointing out interesting facts to Avery. I enjoyed her company. I didn’t want our visit to end.

  “I’m starving,” Declan said as we exited campus.

  “I have snacks in my bike pack but we’d better head back for dinner.” I allowed my voice to fill with regret.

  “Where did you park your bikes?” Avery paused on the sidewalk outside the Naval gate.

  “At the marketplace.” I was curious where she lived. If she’d driven or walked.

  “I can walk with you. I’m going in that direction.”

  I smiled, hoping she’d agreed to walk with us because she wanted to spend more time with us. We walked side-by-side, Declan ahead of us. “Where do you live?”

  “The old firehouse. I live in the apartment above it.”

  “I know the one.” It was a tiny historic building with a red door. Only one engine must have fit in there.

  “Cool! You live in a firehouse? Is there a pole?” Declan called over his shoulder.

  Avery laughed. “Yeah, no. It’s been renovated, so it’s just a regular apartment. I have a little balcony with a tiny table and chairs. It’s nice.”

  I wanted to say it sounded cute like her but I couldn’t, not with Declan watching us.

  We continued in silence, enjoying each other’s company, or at least I hoped she was enjoying being in mine. That she wouldn’t decide a man with a child to care for was a complication she didn’t want.

  The crowd thickened the closer we got to the marketplace. I slowed my steps, reluctant to part ways. Stopping in front of our bikes, I said, “Thanks for spending the afternoon with us.”

  “It was a nice surprise. If I hadn’t run into you, I would have toured it by myself.”

  Normally, I wouldn’t have thought anything of that statement, but it made her sound lonely. It made me think she was grateful she’d run into us. “If there’s anything else you want to see, we’d be happy to go with you. When I lived here, I didn’t appreciate everything that’s here to see.”

  Her eyes met mine as she smiled. “That would be nice. I’ve made a point to visit a new place each weekend.”

  I hoped that meant she’d consider inviting us next time.

  “Uncle Griff, I want to work on the plane.”

  “That’s my cue. We’d better get going.” I winked at her before unlocking our bikes.

  “It was nice to meet you, Declan. I can’t wait to see your plane when it’s done.” Her cheeks turned pink as if she hadn’t meant to add that last part.

  Declan smiled. “It’s going to be awesome. You’ll see.”

  I loved when Declan smiled easily. When Julian first died, it was rare to see him smile at all, later it was forced. Maybe it would be a good excuse to invite her over. “We’ll have you over for dinner to show it off when we’re done.”

  Her brow raised. “Yeah, okay, that sounds good.”

  “Bye, Avery. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

  “You too.” She waved at Declan before turning and walking in the opposite direction of where we were headed.

  Declan fastened his helmet under his chin. “Who is she? You work with her?”

  “Kind of. She’s helping me with some legal stuff. Her office is below my apartment.” I unlocked my bike, put on my helmet, then paused to watch Avery. A second later, her yellow dress disappeared down a side street.

  “Do you still live there?” His tone was uncertain.

  “My furniture is still there. I should probably move it to storage, rent the apartment to someone else.” I couldn’t see us living together in an apartment. It was too small and there wasn’t a yard, but the house we lived in was full of Julian’s furniture. I’d donated items like clothes and shoes, but wasn’t sure what to do about the rest of it.

  “You should bring your stuff to our house.”

  I liked how he said our house. “I don’t know if it will fit.”

  “I can make room.”

  I was touched by his innocence. We’ll just make room. “That sounds great.”

  We biked home in silence, allowing my mind to drift to what it would be like to date Avery. Spend weekends exploring Annapolis, maybe even biking the rail trail to D.C. Would she be open to biking, or did she prefer to walk?

  I knew next to nothing about her personal life other than she lived downtown and was an attorney. What did she like to do in her spare time other than read? I wanted to draw her out, show her what she was missing.

  My stomach tightened with anticipation as a plan formed. I’d invite her to dinner one night this week to see Declan’s plane. Then I’d ask if we could join her next weekend when she played tourist.

  I’d ease her into us until being with us was the most natural thing in the world.

  Chapter Eight

  Avery

  Walking back
to my tiny empty apartment, I was happier than I’d been in a while, but at the same time, loneliness swirled in my gut.

  Was Griffin right at the fundraiser? Anytime things got too personal I backed off, changed the subject, stopped returning calls and texts. Is that why my life felt so barren? What if I was honest with Griffin that being around him felt good?

  The sight of my firehouse apartment usually brought a smile to my face. The tan bricks with white trim, red antique garage door, the steep stairs to my sanctuary. It was a small one-bedroom with an open concept kitchen and living room. It was small, quaint, and all mine. I’d never wanted more than a space to call my own and a job I was proud of.

  My life, my apartment, hadn’t seemed as empty before. Spending a few hours with Griffin and Declan make me feel part of something. He made me hope for things I was afraid to want in the past.

  I opened the slider to the balcony, sitting in my wrought-iron chair, watching couples walking hand in hand, enjoying the beautiful day and the scenery. My apartment was in the historic area of Annapolis, but a few streets away from downtown. After unexpectedly spending the day with Griffin and Declan my heart ached. I wanted that connection with someone, a friendship, a relationship, maybe even love.

  After my ex dumped me in such a public way denying our relationship, I’d vowed not to let myself fall for anyone again. The realization that I could very easily fall for Griffin shook me and at the same time, excited me.

  Griffin and Declan lost a father and a brother. They deserved someone who was kind and caring, who could sympathize with their loss. If what my exes said was true, I was cold. The truth hurt but I suspected not as much as opening myself up to someone else. What if Griffin moved to live with his parents in Florida? What if I opened myself up to him, and he didn’t like me, or he still thought I was cold? What if I was incapable of anything more?

  The rest of the week I did what I did best. I shut out the insecurities, the questions, the desire for a life different than mine. I told myself to be content with what I had, what I always wanted.