Lost without You: A Single Dad Small Town Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 2)

by Lea Coll

  “Are you coming to our weekly roundup in the conference room?” Hadley asked, popping her head into my office.

  Startled out of my thoughts, I glanced at the computer’s clock. It was already six p.m. “Yeah, sorry. I lost track of time.”

  “Is that because you’re thinking of a certain someone?” She wiggled her brows. “Griffin Locke.”

  I stood, my lips tugging into a smile as I gathered my notepad and pen. “Maybe.”

  I preceded her to the conference room where Dylan was already seated, her laptop open in front of her.

  “Tell me everything.” Hadley plopped into a seat at the table before turning her attention to me.

  I sat, an overwhelming desire to talk to someone coursed through me as I struggled to find the right words. “There’s not much to tell. I ran into him last weekend, then he invited me to dinner last night to see the model plane Declan made.”

  Her brow raised. “So, you’re saying nothing happened.”

  “Declan was there.” My cheeks heated, my fingers fidgeted with my notepad and pen.

  Dylan’s gaze rose from her screen, settling on me. “Something definitely happened. Did he kiss you?”

  I nodded slightly, worried about revealing too much even though I’d known Dylan a long time and I’d already told Hadley my deepest shame and she hadn’t thought less of me or wondered if the bullies in high school were right.

  Hadley rubbed her hands together. “I knew it.”

  “It was just a kiss. Then he called me when I got home to talk.”

  “What did he say?” Hadley leaned in closer.

  Dylan shoved her laptop to the side.

  “He said he liked me and wanted to get to know me better. The usual things people say to each other.” I tried to pass it off as if it wasn’t a big deal when it was groundbreaking for me. No one had ever claimed to want to know me with such determination. It felt good.

  “No. This is a big deal,” Hadley said, glancing at Dylan to gauge her reaction. “What did you say?”

  “I said I liked him too. We’re seeing each other tomorrow. It’s not a date since Declan will be there.” But I was excited anyway.

  “He’s smart.” Dylan smiled.

  “Why do you say that?” I tilted my head to the side.

  Dylan’s smile widened. “He’s going slowly with you, including Declan, so you feel safe with him. You’ll start falling for him before he takes you on an official date.”

  A shiver ran down my spine at her words. She was right. I was falling for him. Opening up to him was an indication of that. It was scary and thrilling.

  “How was the kiss?” Hadley asked.

  Earth-shattering. Groundbreaking. What words could I use to describe it that would give that moment justice except cheesy girl-talk ones? The kind of talk I’d always secretly sneered at. I never allowed myself to be open like that. Until now.

  “Wow, that good?” Hadley exchanged a knowing look with Dylan.

  “I didn’t even say anything.”

  “You didn’t have to. It was written all over your face,” Hadley said softly. “Are you scared?”

  I closed my eyes briefly as if to hide the truth before I opened them, deciding to be more honest than I’d been with anyone. “Terrified. He could hurt me.”

  I shook my head at my stupidity. I never allowed myself to be in this position. At someone else’s mercy.

  “Or it could be an amazing adult relationship where you fall in love,” Dylan said.

  In all my worries, that wasn’t one of them. Getting hurt, being vulnerable, but not falling in love. I hadn’t even considered that.

  “Anyway, I think what’s happening with Griffin is great. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there,” Hadley said.

  “It’s so hard.”

  “It will be at first. Then it will get easier. It will be worth it. I promise,” Hadley said.

  “I hope you’re right because the alternative—” Allowing myself to be defenseless wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t survive it again.

  “I am. I love Cade. Everything we went through to get to where we are now was worth it,” Hadley said.

  “I hope so.” I wanted what she had with Cade. I wanted someone who’d be there for me, but how did you accomplish that when you’d never had it? The voice in my head told me I didn’t deserve it. If my parents didn’t love me, if Wes didn’t have any feelings for me after a year of dating, then how could someone else?

  “Back to why we’re here, ladies. Avery, how many new clients did we get this week?” Dylan asked.

  I refocused on the spreadsheet I’d printed with the new clients, pushing out any thoughts of Griffin.

  Chapter Eleven

  Avery

  I waited by the harbor, the brick-lined deck quiet this early in the morning. Most people were probably at one of the many restaurants for brunch on a Saturday. I was early to meet Griffin and Declan, so I sat on a bench by the water, lifting my chin to enjoy the breeze in my hair, the sun on my skin.

  How often did I take the time to just be? Not worried about something I said or did, but to be content in the moment? I felt settled, instead of restless.

  “Avery?” Griffin’s questioning voice came from behind me. I turned to find him.

  I looked past him. “Where’s Declan?”

  “He’s by the boat. He wanted to read the tour’s brochure.”

  I followed his gaze to where Declan stood talking to what looked like the captain of the boat. “He’s not shy, huh?”

  He shook his head, chuckling. “Not at all.”

  He was dressed the part of a local in his white polo, khaki shorts, and Sperrys. I wanted to reach out and touch the scruff on his chin. He was so handsome and he was here to see me. It was hard to believe. He knew me better than anyone I’d ever dated, but he was here.

  “How are you this morning?” His steady gaze sent tingles across my skin, my heart racing.

  I cleared my throat to hide how he affected me. “I’m good. How about you?”

  He sat next to me. “I’m better now that I’m here.”

  I had to forcibly remove my gaze from his to dissolve the intimate moment. “It’s a beautiful day.”

  “It’s beautiful because I’m here with you.”

  My face heated at the compliment. From anyone else, I would have dismissed his comment as cheesy, but from him, it was sincere. “You’re a charmer, aren’t you?”

  He laughed softly. “I think it only comes out with you.”

  “I like it.” I liked his attention, his warm eyes on mine. Warmth spread through me as he held out his hand to me.

  “Ready to board the boat? I think it’s time.”

  Sure enough, Declan stood by the boat gesturing to us. I placed my hand in his larger one, noting the calluses on his hands that hinted he spent time doing something other than office work. Did he have a hobby I didn’t know about or were his calluses from riding bikes and the outdoor activities he did with Declan?

  When we reached Declan, he was practically bouncing on his toes. “Come on. Hurry up.”

  “I don’t think the boat will leave without us,” Griffin said dryly.

  We walked to the small line that formed to board.

  “Are you excited about the boat ride?” I smiled at Declan. I was a little worried it would bring back bad memories of his father even though a touring boat wasn’t the same as a sailboat.

  “I am.” Declan turned his attention to the moving line.

  “I’m glad I suggested it then,” I said to Griffin.

  “He loves boats, planes, and trains.” Griffin gazed down at me with affection.

  I was content with the warmth of the morning sun on our faces, Griffin’s hand in mine, and Declan by our sides. Being with them felt natural. I wouldn’t screw this day up with my insecurities or worries about not being right for Griffin. I’d enjoy the day. Catalog it for a time when I was alone and could enjoy sifting through the memories like a photo album.<
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  We handed the worker our printed tickets, walking up the ramp.

  “Top or bottom deck?” Griffin asked Declan.

  Declan rolled his eyes. “Top of course.”

  “It will be hotter up there but fewer people,” Griffin said.

  I followed Declan up the steps, conscious that Griffin was behind me, possibly watching my hips sway in my dress. When we reached the top, a slight breeze lifted my hair as we wandered to the railing to watch everyone else board.

  I leaned a hip on the railing with Declan next to me. Griffin stood slightly behind me, bracing an arm on the railing. His warmth surrounded me.

  Instead of feeling trapped, I felt protected, cared for.

  He leaned down to speak softly in my ear, “Have you taken the tour before?”

  I shook my head slightly, my hair catching in the scruff on his chin. I shivered thinking about how his scruff would feel on the sensitive part of my neck if he touched his lips there. “I’ve only watched it leave. I like sitting here by the harbor.”

  His hand settled on my hip and I swayed toward him until my back rested on his chest, warmth and contentment radiating through my body. “Why haven’t you taken the tour?”

  “I felt weird about doing it alone.” I’d watched people board, waving to those of us on land, before the horn honked, and pulled away. It was full of families and couples. I never thought I’d be close enough to anyone to enjoy an outing like this.

  “Anytime you need a partner to do something, you can call us.” He kissed my cheek.

  My heart tugged toward him. “You can’t make a promise that you’ll be there for me when I need you.”

  “No, but I can promise to answer your call, do things with you, to spend time with you, to do all of the important and mundane things with you whenever I can.”

  I shook my head to clear the sweet words from my head. “We’ve only just met.”

  “Hopefully, it’s the first of many days. I told you I’m interested in you and nothing you’ve shown me so far has scared me off.”

  My heart clenched that he was so confident he liked what he saw. I turned to see his face, his eyes squinted against the sun as he looked over my head.

  I hadn’t told him everything but I’d told him more than anyone else. He knew I had faults, insecurities, that I wasn’t perfect. He was here despite that or because he liked those things he’d learned.

  He looked down at me, squeezing my hip. “I like you, Avery Arrington. Give me a chance before you run, okay?”

  I elbowed him lightly. “Who says I’m going to run?”

  He placed both hands on the railing on either side of me, caging me in, as he whispered over the shell of my ear, “You have runner written all over you.”

  I turned my head slightly, my heart pounding, I kissed his cheek, making an assurance I’d never made before. “I promise I won’t run.”

  He pulled back slightly so we were looking at each other. “You’ll tell me if you start to have second thoughts?”

  I swallowed, worried I’d made a mistake in making promises. “Of course.”

  The loud horn sounded, startling me, and signaling our departure. There were only a few people on the top deck with us waving to those who watched from the shore.

  “Want to sit?” Griffin asked. “I think Declan will want to stand at the railing the whole time.”

  Declan was waving to those on the dock.

  “Sure.” I mourned the loss of his heat, his arms around me as soon as he moved to the seats. Griffin placed an arm behind me, resting on the seat back. I leaned into him, giving in to weakness, reveling in his scent and his warmth. If this was all I’d get, I’d enjoy every moment.

  We listened to the guide give information about the Naval Academy. We had an impressive view of it from the water.

  When the tour guide turned back to the harbor, Declan sat next to us chatting about what he’d learned and everything he’d seen.

  I was content as Declan’s voice washed over me, enjoying the rumble of Griffin’s chest as he responded to him. When the boat finally docked and we disembarked, Griffin asked, “What did you want to do next?”

  “I don’t have anything planned.” I was excited to spend more time with them.

  Griffin’s shoulders were relaxed, his eyes warm on mine. “Let’s walk around, see what we see, grab some lunch?”

  I smiled up at him. “Sounds perfect.”

  “Can we get ice cream and fudge too?” Declan turned to ask Griffin.

  “After lunch.”

  “Fine,” Declan said.

  I was impressed Declan respected Griffin, he wasn’t indulging him as his uncle but acting as his parent.

  Griffin pointed to a narrow part of the harbor where boats were docked along the sides. “In the evening there’s a long line of boats that come down here to turn around. They basically do that to show off their boats. Some are decorated with lights.”

  I scrunched my nose. “Really? I usually only come down this way at lunch or on the weekends. I assumed the boats docked, so they could eat at the restaurants.”

  “Some do but there’s a parade of boats especially on Friday and Saturday nights. They call this little strip of water, Ego Alley.”

  “Huh. I’ll have to check it out sometime.” It was one more thing I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing alone at night.

  “One night I’ll get a sitter and bring you down here.”

  His easy promises to spend more time with me, easing the broken pieces inside of me. “I’d like that.”

  Declan ran a little ahead, peering into each window, commenting on what he saw. Griffin lightly squeezed my hand each time, exchanging a knowing smile with me. Each time he did that it was like he was squeezing my heart.

  “There are so many ice cream and fudge shops here,” I said.

  “Too many, if you ask me, but Annapolis gets a lot of visitors.”

  “I love the quiet side streets.”

  “Me too. Want to take the road less traveled today?” He gestured down a narrow side street, quiet compared to the clusters of people meandering around the main streets.

  “Sure.” Since I’d moved here, I’d walked every street, checking out each shop off of Main Street. I’d even visited St. John’s College’s Library taking in the musty smell of old books. I loved everything about my new town, the anonymity, the historical sites, the small bed and breakfasts, the historical inns, the older homes. It felt like home.

  The street climbed steadily uphill until we reached the first traffic circle where the State House was located.

  “We can get lunch and eat on State Circle.” Griffin gestured at the park in front of the State House.

  “Finally! I’m starving!” Declan said.

  I was glad he was having a good time. He didn’t seem bothered by me being with Griffin but then again, Griffin wasn’t his father. I wasn’t sure if it would be different if Julian was alive and dating.

  “There’s a baked potato place on the corner that’s good. Do you like baked potatoes?” I asked Declan, wanting to include him in the decision.

  Declan’s forehead scrunched up.

  “These have chips in them,” I added to entice him.

  “Really? Chips?”

  “Yup. Tortilla chips, salsa, sour cream. I promise they’re really good.”

  “I love chips and salsa,” Declan said.

  “I know the place,” Griffin said.

  We walked around the circle, Griffin holding the door for us to the restaurant. After ordering our baked potatoes piled high with sour cream, tortilla chips, and peppers, we took our bags across the street, sitting on a bench.

  I unwrapped mine, letting the steam rise, before taking my first bite. “These are so good. I love the flavored sour cream.”

  “Do you have plans tonight?” Griffin asked.

  “No, actually.” I figured I’d spend the evening reading in the bathtub or in bed.

  “Why don’t you come over? We
can spend more time together.”

  “Are you sure?” I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. I glanced at Declan who’d set his lunch aside to check out the cannons at the top of the hill by the State House.

  “I want to spend more time with you, any way I can get it.”

  My heart raced at his words. “Okay.”

  “Declan’s going to his friend’s house, so we’ll have some time alone together.” His attention was on his potato, but heat coiled in my belly at his words time alone together.

  Was I ready for that? Or had he meant we’d snuggle on the couch and watch a movie? Was I ready for more with Griffin, more kissing, more touching, his lips on my neck, his breath over my skin. Once we were physical, it would be harder to keep my distance. It could complicate the legal work I was doing for him.

  Griffin tucked my hair behind my ear. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

  “Okay.” Griffin was more dangerous than the other guys I dated. For the first time, I didn’t want to hold myself back. I wanted to get lost in the sensation of being with him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Griffin

  When Avery relaxed, letting her guard down, I loved spending time with her. The problem was she was so quick to step back, steeling herself against me. I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted to break through one wall after the other, not pausing to let her build the same one back up again. I’d keep trudging forward, pushing her boundaries, challenging her rules, until I was all the way in. Until she was right there with me, wanting the same things I wanted. The promise of this moment is what kept me going.

  It was also why I planned another outing while we were together. If she’d gone home, she’d regroup, pulling back, erect the same walls I’d spent all day chipping away at. If I was persistent I’d be rewarded with the essence of Avery, a caring woman who was desperately seeking love.

  We’d eaten ice cream cones and bought fudge to take home, parting with Avery with promises to see her tonight.

  “Is Avery coming over later?” Declan asked from the back seat.

  “I invited her.” She’d said yes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she called to cancel, effectively giving herself space.