by Lea Coll
“I know.” I hadn’t planned on representing him in court, but I didn’t trust anyone else to handle the investigation or him.
“You can continue doing the research but if it goes to court, one of us will represent him.”
I sighed. “Yeah, okay. That’s probably for the best.”
She raised her brow. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
If I wanted something different, I needed to fix it. “I need to talk to him.”
“Let me know how it goes.”
Hadley left my office. I closed my eyes, trying to think back on how I felt when I was with him, the easy free fall feeling, the contentment in his arms, the joy of being around Declan. The urge to protect them both from Erin, from anyone who threatened them.
I’d dismissed my feelings for him, the deepening sense of comfort each time we were together, the lightness I felt in his arms, the sense of belonging when it was all three of us. I thought I’d have more time to reconcile my feelings.
Loving and caring for Declan was easy. It didn’t require any thought, but Griffin was harder. I stood at the edge of the cliff, the wind blowing in my hair, the sun beating on my face. Looking down was scary, taking that first step was thrilling.
A chill ran down my spine. I’d been living in this state of sameness ever since Wes betrayed me, not giving anyone the power to affect my mood, my feelings, my life. I held the cards. I dictated those around me, kept them at a distance. I’d wrapped myself in this cocoon. No one could unravel it but me. I needed to break out of my comfort zone. I needed to take a risk. If not, I’d never know what could have been.
I clicked over to the email that came in this morning from my mom, the one that read like a grocery list of updates. She’d finally convinced Dad to get a checkup, one of their employees wasn’t working out and had to be fired, Everett was living with them, getting into trouble at school.
I had this sudden need to reach out to Mason. To see how he was doing. It couldn’t be easy to be deployed as a single parent, not able to speak to your child or help out when you want to, or when they need you. He was probably reeling with everything. I always assumed we had nothing in common. There were too many years between us to maintain a meaningful relationship. Maybe I was wrong about him too.
I drafted a short email, asking how he was, wishing him well on his deployment. Within a few minutes, he responded. He was thinking of retiring from the Navy. Weird, because he’d never confided in me about anything. It was partly the age gap between us but also the fact my parents sent him away. We’d never connected as brother and sister. More like distant cousins who didn’t keep in touch.
I always thought he was a lifer in the Navy. He loved flying fighter jets and the Navy was the only place he could do it. He said he hoped to connect with his son and he couldn’t do that if he was deployed the majority of the time. He hadn’t wanted to leave Everett with our parents but didn’t have any other choice.
I thought about how that would feel. His child half a world away, not being able to be there for him. I’m sure our parents hadn’t improved over the years, work came first, any disruption to their lives was irritating. I should have offered to help, but I didn’t know Everett. I sent another message indicating that he should do what felt right now that he was a single parent. I added I hoped to see him when he returned, maybe spend some time getting to know Everett.
It wasn’t the time but I wanted to ask why we had never tried to connect before. Was there truly a divide between us or had we both assumed we had nothing in common, the other wouldn’t want or need to hear from us? Or were we at a point in our life where we needed connections? Him to his son and me to Griffin and Declan.
Mason responded indicating that Everett’s school counselor, Mia, was keeping him updated on what was happening at school, and watching his dog, Stark. It struck me I hadn’t even known he owned a dog. We exchanged a few more messages about his worries for Everett getting into trouble while he was gone, how he hated the feeling of being powerless to help when his son needed him. His desire to retire made sense. He was making his son a priority in his life, just like Griffin was making his nephew a priority.
Maybe I’d keep emailing him. He mentioned once it made it harder when he checked in, but things were changing. Maybe we could finally have the relationship we should have had all along.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to fix things as easily with Griffin but at least I’d made the first move with Mason.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Griffin
The not knowing was killing me. Would Erin show up on my porch demanding Declan? If so, I was prepared to give her whatever she wanted to make her go away so I’d never have to see her again.
I hadn’t mentioned anything to Declan. I talked to his counselor. She said to wait until Erin made her next move, my job was to protect Declan. I was relieved I didn’t need to tell him unless Erin took us to court. There was no point in telling him his mother showed up only to abandon him a second time. I worried I was delaying the inevitable.
My phone rang, indicating Avery’s office was calling. “Griffin here.”
“She did it.” The voice was familiar but not Avery’s.
“Who is this?”
“Sorry, it’s Hadley Winters. We thought it was best if one of us took over your case, given your relationship with Avery. She’s still working hard in the background, but I’ll handle any court appearances or filings.”
My heart clenched. I hoped it didn’t mean she was giving up on us. Had I screwed up by not letting her talk the other night? I wanted Avery by my side, even if she wasn’t in her capacity as my attorney. Maybe it was time for me to talk to her. “Did Erin file something?”
“We got her motion contesting guardianship today, indicating she’s the biological mother. Claiming that Declan should be with her.” Her tone was cool and professional, lacking the sympathy that would have been in Avery’s.
“That’s bullshit.”
“That may be, but we have to jump through the hoops. I’ll file a response, but I need you to come in and sign an affidavit outlining her abandonment, confirming she hasn’t had any role in Declan’s life emotionally, physically, or financially.”
“I can do that.”
“Good. Can you come in this morning to review and sign it?”
“Whatever you need.” I wanted to ask how Avery was doing, how I wished she’d told me the news, but it could wait until after I took care of the paperwork for the guardianship case.
We hung up. I stared at the screen for too long willing Avery to call and tell me what I already knew, my life was imploding.
She’d accepted the distance, the parameters I’d set for our relationship. She wasn’t willing to fight for us. I needed to accept that she didn’t love me. Not the way I loved her.
The phone rang again, Avery’s name on my phone sent a jolt through me. “Avery?” My voice was strangled, filled with all of the stress and worry I’d kept out of my conversation with Hadley.
“Hadley told you.”
“She did. I wish you had.”
“Can I come over? Do you have a minute, or do you need to meet with Hadley?”
“I do, but I have a little time before I need to leave.” Some of the tension in my neck and shoulders eased. I wanted to know what she was going to say. I wanted to believe she was struggling with her emotions, not that she didn’t feel anything.
I dropped Declan off at school already, but I needed to shower before she arrived. I couldn’t deny her. I stripped off my clothes, stepping under the steaming water. My declaration took her by surprise. It was too soon for her. I should have been content to wait for her to catch up. I scrubbed my skin, hurrying through my routine. I wanted to see Avery. I needed her by my side while I dealt with this shit Erin was bringing into my life.
I toweled off, pulling on a suit. I needed it for this meeting with Hadley, maybe even for this conversation with Avery. If she was coming over t
o tell me she didn’t love me and didn’t think she ever could, I’d be devastated.
The bell rang. I slipped on my shoes, checking the clock over the microwave as I walked to the door. I pulled open the door, finding Avery standing there in a suit.
“Are you here as my attorney?” Every muscle in my body tensed for her answer.
“I can’t represent you. I should have handed your case off before we got involved. Administering your estate is one thing, but representing you in a guardianship dispute is another. Even if we never—”
I waited for her to finish her sentence, my mind working overtime to fill in the blanks. “Avery, what were you going to say?”
She cleared her throat.
I liked to think she was overcome with emotion, trying not to cry, but I knew better. That wasn’t Avery.
“Even if we never get back together, I can’t represent you.”
“Why?” The blood pounded in my ears, making it difficult to hear.
“It’s too hard.”
“Why is it too hard, Avery?” I had to know. I needed her to put me out of this misery.
“This isn’t the right time. I was supposed to fix things but not this way.”
“What are you rambling about, Avery? You’re not making any sense.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before.” She took an audible breath before continuing, “I care about you and Declan.”
This wasn’t a new revelation. I needed more. I needed the three words.
“I screwed up the day you were in my office. I overreacted about the lease and didn’t react when I needed to.” She groaned in frustration. “I thought I was your girlfriend.”
I raised my brow at the word girlfriend. Neither of us had used that term before and I was surprised she was the first. Hope soared in my chest that she was going to say everything I longed to hear.
“Can I come in?”
I stepped back. “Of course.”
Her shoulders relaxed as she let out a breath, stepping past me.
I closed the door softly behind her, crossing my arms over my chest to stop myself from pulling her to me, from demanding answers.
We stood in the foyer, her eyes darting around the room before landing on me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t prepared for what you said the other day. I should have been though.”
“What are you saying?” My heart thudded painfully in my chest as I waited for her to tell me she loved me.
“I should have been prepared because I feel the same way.”
The roaring in my ears makes it impossible to listen to the rest of her speech. Her words were background. All I could think about was she’d said she felt the same way. Was she saying she loved me too?
“I’ve had a lot of time to think the last few days. I’ve never been in love before. I wasn’t sure what it felt like. I knew I was attracted to you, I liked you. I knew I loved Declan. That was easy.” A soft smile ghosted her lips.
My arms fell to my sides, my fingers twitching to grab her, but I held my breath, waiting.
Her eyes met mine, filled with emotion, swimming with tears. “I do love you. I just didn’t understand what I was feeling. You might not believe me. It might be too late, but I had to tell you you’re not alone.”
You’re not alone. Who knew that there were more important words in this universe than I love you.
“I can go through life pretending that people around me don’t matter, not letting them in, not giving them a chance to walk away or hurt me, or I can hold on with both hands.”
I had to be sure. “Are you saying—”
“I want you, Griffin Locke. I want to be by your side. I want to be there for you and for Declan. These last few days, not knowing if I’d see you again were torture. I love you. I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t love me anymore.” She squared her shoulders, lifting her eyes to mine.
I give in to the desire surging through me. My hand circles her wrist, tugging her into my body, tucking her head against my chest. “I love you.” I breathe into her hair. A sigh of relief went through her body as she sagged deeper into my embrace.
Tears soaked my shirt, but I didn’t care. Avery was in my arms, declaring her love for me. It meant more than anything else I’d ever heard because I knew how hard it was for her to acknowledge it.
I smoothed her hair, kissing the top of her head. “My brave girl.”
She tilted her head back to meet my eyes. “Are we okay?”
“I never stopped loving you. I thought I pushed you too hard, asked for too much too soon. I took a step back, hoping you’d come to me. I wanted you to fight for me, for us.” I tucked her hair behind her ear.
She never looked more beautiful, smiling through her tears.
“I can handle anything Erin has to throw at me as long as you’re by my side. Let’s meet with Hadley together.”
Her upturned face was full of love for me. “I’d like that.”
Avery
I wanted to hold hands with him on the way to the office, but I had to drive separately so I could work afterward. After we parked, I took his outstretched hand, never letting go as we walked into the conference room, listening while Hadley went over the affidavit.
It was nice being on this side of the table even if I hated the reason he had to be here. After Hadley answered his questions, I walked him to his car.
He leaned against his SUV, pulling me into his embrace. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“I want to be here for you and Declan. I hate that this is happening.”
“I hate it too.” Where my tone was filled with conviction, his was more resigned as if he’d accepted the possibility that Erin would be a part of Declan’s life in some way from now on.
“Are you planning to tell Declan?” This question had been floating through my mind ever since Griffin told me Erin appeared on his porch.
“His counselor said to tell him if she filed a formal motion contesting guardianship. Hadley said the judge might want to talk to him too, so he should be prepared.” Griffin looked at me as if he valued my opinion too.
I tried to think about the situation logically as if I was still their attorney, not Griffin’s girlfriend. “I think he’s a smart kid and can read that’s something’s wrong. What if she approaches him outside of school or when we’re not around? You don’t want him to be blindsided. He doesn’t even know what she looks like.”
He hugged me tighter to him. “You’re right. I hadn’t even thought about that. We’ll do it tonight. What time will you be home?”
“When do you need me there?”
“Let’s do six. I’ll order something for dinner, we’ll eat, then talk to him.” When we first started talking, Griffin’s voice was resigned, now it was full of dread.
“It will be okay.” If Declan had to see Erin, even if only for visitation, we’d worry. We knew nothing about Erin other than she’d abandoned her baby and never looked back.
“I hope so.”
That night, we sat on the couch with Declan. It was Griffin’s idea to place Declan between us so he understood I was going to be there for him too.
“What’s going on?” Declan’s brow wrinkled as he looked from me to Griffin as if he was worried he was in trouble.
Griffin’s body was tightly coiled even though his voice was deceptively calm. “Your mother is in town.”
“What? Why?” Declan’s voice raised in pitch, his eyes darting frantically from Griffin to me.
“She has it in her head that she should be able to see you.” Griffin’s lips were pressed into a straight line.
Declan laughed without any humor. “You’re joking.”
Griffin shook his head. “I’m not. She knocked on the door that day you thought Avery was here.”
“The day you said there was someone selling something at the door.”
“That’s right. I didn’t want to alarm you if it was nothing. If she was going to walk away. I have paperwork that says I�
��m your guardian. The court granted me power to make decisions on where you live, where you go to school, what doctor you can see. She filed a motion asking the court to grant her guardianship since she’s your biological mother. It’s not likely it will be granted, but there’s always a possibility.” We’d agreed I’d step in to talk about the legal aspect if he had any questions, intending to tell him the truth as gently as possible.
Declan swallowed. “Does it matter what I want? That I’ve never met her?”
“All of those things matter, Declan.” Griffin’s voice was soft. “I’d like you to come to court. Avery will sit with you outside. If the judge wants to talk to you, you’ll be there. You can tell him or her whatever’s on your mind.”
“Okay.” Declan’s eyes were full of anxiety.
I wanted to relieve Declan’s anxiety, I wanted to remove anyone from his life that threatened his happiness. The urge was so strong, it made it difficult to draw in a deep breath.
He was probably wondering if his whole life was about to change again. I wanted to say it wouldn’t, but you never knew how a judge would rule. I couldn’t make him any guarantees to settle his mind. All we could do was to be there for him, answer his questions.
“Do you want to meet her?” Griffin held himself rigid while he waited.
I knew it cost him to ask but he was doing the right thing.
Declan was quiet, his gaze on the floor before he finally raised it to Griffin’s. “I should, shouldn’t I?”
“There is no right or wrong answer. It’s whatever you want,” I said.
“I don’t think I want to see her. She wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t know why things have changed.” Declan fidgeted on the couch as if he was uncomfortable admitting that.
“This might be some ploy to get something she wants.” Griffin shifted closer to Declan on the couch, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“Like what? Your money?”
Griffin raised his brow. “How do you know about that?”
