by Ben Zackheim
“Go ahead.”
“Alone, Kane.”
Thor and Dino grunted at the same time. For different reasons. Thor had been Tabitha’s lover once in a while, and Dino didn’t trust her alone with me as far as he could throw her. Scratch that. As far as he could throw fifty of her.
“Fine,” I said. “You guys hang back if you want. I’ll let Tabitha push me around one more time.”
“Kane…”
“Rebel, I’ve got this. Don’t babysit me.” I knew she was worried about Tabitha’s blood connection to me. Since I’d drunk Tabitha’s essence we’d been bonded on a level that went beyond our loins — though loins were a big part of it, too.
“Fine. Go. But we’ll be watching you, lady.”
Tabitha rolled me over the curb and onto the relatively debris-free street. I waited for us to have some distance from the others before I spoke. “How are you going to mess up my plans this time?”
“What plan would that be? It appears to me you’re flailing at just the wrong time.”
“So this is a pep talk?”
“I only mean that you are not in any shape to do anything, much less save the world.”
“I don’t have to fight with my body to save the world. I can use my brain.”
“No you can’t.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tabitha.”
“You are a fool if you think you’re just the leader of a team, or an army. You are more than that.”
“If I have such a big damn role in this war then maybe you could stop being cryptic and give me some answers!”
I must have yelled because Rebel hollered, “You tell her, Kane!’ from a block back.
“Shut up, Rebel!” Tabitha and I shouted back in unison.
“I… don’t have answers, Kane. I’ve told you everything I know, and you’ve learned everything else from others. Merlin, Loki, and I worked together to stop the return of the vampires because we knew it was Set’s endgame to destroy the world we loved. Once we failed, it all fell apart and we’ve been scrambling ever since. I know you carry the spear of Odin in your portal and it will come in handy if you live long enough to use it against Set. I know you have the sceptre as well and it, too, will help our cause.”
“Our cause. You mean killing you?”
“Kane, don’t…”
“What? Isn’t that what you told us? It’s our destiny for Rebel and I to kill you for some unknown reason. Just another action item on my damned to-do list, I guess.”
“Your cause is to save the world.”
“Push faster, Tabitha. Unless you have something new to tell me, I’m done blabbing. I need to get back to work.”
She stopped pushing my chair. Meaning she did exactly the opposite of what I told her to do. I needed to find new women in my life. Women who would do what I said once every quarter. She crouched down in front of me to meet my stare. She reached into a fold of her black dress, miraculously free of any apocalypse dust, and pulled out a small bronze cylinder. She handed it to me and wrapped my fingers around it. Her skin was hot. A lot of people think vampires are cold to the core, but that’s not true. When they feel hunger their skin can fry eggs.
“Okay, I’m intrigued,” I said, trying not to feel like breakfast. “What is this?”
She stood and looked down on me with all the regality due the Queen of Vampires, the goddess Isis, hotness personified. “That, Kane Arkwright, is one of your missing scroll pieces.”
Chapter 10
I looked between her and the object a few times with the distinct impression she was screwing with me.
She nodded. “Open it. You’ll see.”
“What’s going on?” Rebel called out from behind us.
“Stay put for a minute, Rebel!” I yelled back. I studied Tabitha’s face, just to see if her expression had changed. Was this a trap? I couldn’t ask her that and expect a real answer. “Where did you get this?”
“India,” she said without giving away a thing in her facial expression. India was one of the countries where Skyler had brought me along. He’d taken me to a farm in the middle of nowhere. Palasi was the closest town. He’d hidden the scroll fragment in a hole in the ground.
“Where in India?”
“Palasi. In a hole in the ground.” Was that the truth? Or did she read my mind?
“How did you know where to look?”
She crossed her arms. “Your favorite person told me where it was.”
“Assuming you’re being sarcastic, I’m going to guess you mean Skyler.” She nodded once, slightly. “Why did he tell you?”
She shrugged. “Maybe he likes me.”
“Or maybe he hates you and wants you to get back in the game so you can die a slow and miserable death.”
“The thought had crossed my mind.”
“Did you meet any resistance when you dug it up?”
“None.”
“I had to fight the King of Vampires, the demons of Montfort-l’Amaury and Raijin in Japan for the other scroll pieces. It’s weird you met no resistance.”
Again, she shrugged. “I didn’t have to fight for it because I’m not you.”
“You’re going to have to do something you hate doing, Tabitha, and clarify that.”
“Kane, the scroll pieces are guarded by forces that are looking for you. They aren’t looking for me.”
“So you’re saying that anyone but me could walk right up to them and grab them without triggering an army of monsters from the darkest corners of international myth.”
“That is what I’m saying, yes.”
It was too bad the only missing scroll piece left was back in Brazil with Pandora. She’d been giving us the silent treatment for a long time.
It was time for us to pay her a visit and take possession, one way or another.
“Rebel!” I yelled. Rebel’s boot steps crunched louder and louder until I felt her sharp grasp on my shoulder.
“What do you need? Want me to empty her out? Pretty please?” Rebel clacked her fingernails together in that special way she had.
“No, Rebel, I don’t want you to empty her out. Get this to Lucas.” I handed my partner the brass cylinder.
Rebel took the relic and examined it. “What is it?”
“It’s one of your missing scroll pieces,” Tabitha said before I could answer.
“Where did she get this, Kane? What if it’s a trap?”
“I’ve done all of the paranoia stuff already, Rebel. Just get it to Lucas. You know we’re not working with a lot of time.”
Tabitha wrapped her hand around mine. “The demon should not be deciphering these hieroglyphs. They’ll poison him. Demons are forbidden to interpret the Egyptian gods’ words. This piece is from the Book of the Dead. It is powerful and deadly.”
“Go, Rebel,” I said, pulling her hand off of my shoulder. “Thanks for the anti-massage, by the way.”
Rebel threw a frown at Tabitha before running off.
Dino got within earshot. “Want me to go with her?” the troll asked.
“No, I need you to push me.” As I waited for the others to catch up to us, I whispered to Tabitha. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Kane.” She cradled my chin in her hot hand. She leaned over and gave me a kiss before walking away. It was a good kiss. In fact, it was so good that I didn’t notice I had blood running down my chin until Alix said, “Yeh have blood runnin’ down your chin.”
“Nice talking to you, too!” Thor called out to Tabitha, who had taken flight into the night, disappearing against the black sky. Harsh. She didn’t even say hello to her on-again, off-again Norse lover.
I wiped the blood away with the back of my hand and waited for the pain of a bitten tongue to hit me.
It didn’t come.
It wasn’t my blood. It was Tabitha’s. She’d fed me another dose of her own vampire essence.
Chapter 11
I started to feel better right away.
Not normal. Not even close. But
maybe 50%. Merlin had done so much damage to my body that even vampire blood could only help a little bit.
Thor shoved Dino aside and pushed me in my wheelchair. He made it crystal clear how pissed off he was. Tabitha had dissed him and he was going to make one of us pay for her insult. I was the only one available. I felt every bump, crack and crater on that trip back to HQ. At one point I asked, “How about you fly me there, buddy?” But that just made him let go, sending me down a once-quaint, now-wrecked cobblestone street.
He spared me a tumble down the metro stairs to the west entrance of HQ. It was our most secure area. I could feel the eyes of Lancelot’s soldiers on us as our crew of one god, one dwarf, and one troll wove through the maze of wrecked cars that acted as a protective barrier. We passed underneath a platform with three snipers. Their laser sights zipped around our bodies like flies on cocaine.
“It’s me, Kane!” I yelled up to them.
“And that’s supposed to stop us from shooting you?” a woman’s voice responded from above.
Thor bent over me. “They like you as much as everyone else likes you, Arkwright.”
“They’re just playing around,” I said. But they weren’t. My own army of humans, saved from the undead by me and my team, were still having a tough time accepting me back. If I was able to shoot my own partner in the head, as I’d done to Rebel in Japan, then how much could they trust me to protect them? Maybe they didn’t know about my blackouts, or my dream outs as I’d started calling them. But they knew something was wrong and they weren’t about to rely on me if they could help it.
I wondered if my friends would be wise to follow in the soldiers’ footsteps.
Rebel’s heavy breathing told me she’d returned from the library. “Did you get the scroll piece to Lucas?” I asked as we approached the steel doors to HQ.
She shoved Thor aside and took over wheelchair duties. “He’s looking at it now. It put a real spring in his step.”
The steel doors opened. I could tell something was wrong.
People hurried back and forth past the entrance. They spoke with their hands. That’s always been a French thing, but they were gesticulating like rubber bands. Their agitated words crowded together into a garbled white noise.
“Are your troops always like this?” Thor asked.
I grabbed the hand of a passing soldier. “What’s going on?” He looked down at me and his face went sour. Another fan of mine. He yanked his hand away.
“You should ask the general, monsieur.” He walked away while wiping his hand on his pants. Asshole.
“What’s going on?” Rebel asked another passerby.
“Looks like the vampires are going to finish the job for us,” the guy said.
Rebel grabbed the kid’s shoulder to stop him from moving on. “Meaning what?”
“A big fight is about to go down in New York. It’s Set’s vampire army against the undead insurgents.”
“Who’s leading the insurgents?” I asked.
“That’s above my pay grade,” the guy said, not making eye contact with me.
“Where’s the old man at?” Dino asked. The soldier pointed to a balcony overlooking the loading bay. Lancelot leaned on the barrier and monitored the activity below. The small team of advisors standing behind him took turns giving him statuses and opinions. He was a natural leader. I was relieved we had him on our side. I was also worried about how he looked. Ever since he’d chosen mortality over being a vampire he’d been aging. Fast. His once-wide stance was bowed now, with a slight bend at the knees. He tried to cover it up by pushing his shoulders back. But all that did was make him look like he was leaning forward all the time.
I caught Rebel staring at him. I could tell she was thinking the same thing.
Thor scooped up my wheel chair with one hand and flew me to the platform. The sight of Thor doing his thing was impressive. It’s not every day you get to see a god fly around your bunker. He set me down gently, reached under his loincloth to scratch his balls, and crossed his arms. He glanced down his nose at Lancelot.
“General, this is Thor. Thor, General Lancelot.”
Thor’s expression changed instantly. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. “Lancelot?”
“It’s been a long time, Thor.” Lancelot’s voice was quiet. I couldn’t help but notice his body language got timid, as if he expected an attack.
I gripped the arms of my wheelchair and got ready to open my Vault Portal in case a fight broke out.
Thor took two big steps toward the old man and pulled him into his big arms. He embraced him with care and cupped the back of the general’s head to hold him close to his chest.
“My friend,” Thor said. “My old friend, at last.”
Lancelot managed to slip out of the hug with some class. “It’s good to see you, too.” Being a knight, he knew how to be civil. He also had no idea how to show emotion. Still, he couldn’t hide his misting eyes.
“I thought you were dead,” Thor said. “Asgard mourned you. But…”
The god’s face changed again. This time the change was not pleasant. This time his cheeks turned red as blood and his eyes narrowed to slits.
“Loki,” is all he said. He looked at Lancelot differently now. “I remember now.”
“I was afraid of that,” Lancelot said under his breath. “Listen, my friend…”
“I remember it all!” Thor screamed loud enough to bring the entire room to a standstill. People covered their ears and crouched as if a heavy object was about to fall on their heads. “You! You and Loki! You allowed Odin to escape my wrath!”
“That… that is not true!” Lancelot yelled back without much conviction in his voice. “Thor, you must listen to me, please.”
“Listen to you? I should kill you!”
I had to intervene. Maybe I could break the heat that was building up between them. “One of you is going to have to tell me what’s going on here!”
Thor lifted the old man up by the collar. Half the soldiers had a bead on him. One soldier yelled, “Kane brought in an assassin to kill the general!”
Half the guns pointed at me.
In the terrifying silence before the firestorm, I yelled, “Hey Rebel!”
“Yeah, Kane?”
“Do you have a spell for cleaning underwear?”
Somehow the dead silence got quieter. The end result was a dearth of sound so deep and penetrating, it begged to be broken. Likely by gunfire.
Thor made a sound somewhere between a cough and choking on a gullet of dry bread. He started to laugh.
People say Odin is the only one powerful enough to defeat the god of thunder. Not true. Apparently, Thor’s own laughter could end the fight faster than Odin’s mightiest smiting.
More laughter joined his. Soon the whole bunker echoed with confounding mirth. All I could manage was a chuckle. I hadn’t meant to end the standoff with a shit-in-my-pants joke, but I took my victories where I could get them.
“Stand down!” Lancelot barked. The guns lowered, but the nasty looks kept on aiming at me. I got to share the hate with Thor though. Misery loves company, right?
Chapter 12
Lancelot took over the Kane-pushing duties.
“Are you going to tell me what the fuck that was all about?” I asked.
“Later,” Lancelot whispered.
“Where are we headed?”
“Office. Quiet.” He hissed that last part. He was serious. He still considered us in danger.
Lancelot wheeled me into a glass cubicle that overlooked the huge loading bay below. The sliding door clicked shut behind us. I took advantage of the moment. “What’s going on, general? Before our little high noon showdown with Thor, it looked like everyone was frantic.”
Dino, Rebel and Alix followed us into the office. I was relieved to see Thor had somehow made himself lay low. It’s not easy to hide eight feet of thunder god, but he’d managed it.
Lancelot sighed and dropped into a chair next to me. “
It’s unclear. The best intelligence is coming from the small team we have stationed in New York City.”
Lancelot studied a monitor hanging over the long conference table. “Intel says Set and his army are in New York City. It may be their base. We’re also seeing signs of the vampire rebels. There’s a steady build-up of forces in the boroughs around Manhattan. It’s being done very well. If they’re lucky, Set won’t know just how big his opposition is.”
Dino clapped his humongous hands together. “Then let’s drop in unexpected-like!”
“That’s a great idea, Dino,” Lancelot shot back. “Maybe going in half-cocked is just the way to take full advantage of our first bit of good luck.”
“I don’t like the sound of that,” Dino said with a shiver.
“Exactly,” Lancelot said. “We have to think this through.”
Dino shook his head. “No, I mean that word. Half-cocked. I don’t like the sound of it. I mean, would it even work if it was, like, you know…half?” He used two fingers to snip at the air like a pair of scissors. We all just looked at him, each with some degree of awe at his clueless timing.
“So what do you want to do?” I asked Lancelot.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing,” Rebel repeated, voice low. Okay, voice irritated, is more like it. Lancelot nodded.
I was annoyed, too. “You don’t think the intelligence is correct?”
“No, it’s accurate. All signs point to Set being in Manhattan.”
“There goes the neighborhood,” Dino muttered.
“Then why do nothing, mate?” Alix asked. “Is it a trap?”
Lancelot nodded. “It is a trap. But not for us.”
I saw where he was going with his thinking. “You think Set is setting a trap for his insurgent problem.”
Rebel had heard enough. She pounded the table with her fist. “Guys! Take a look around you. Our people are excited, confused. They want a clear path forward. They all know we have Set in our sights and they want to strike. Now.”
“They’ll have to wait,” I said. “I agree with Lancelot. We watch.”
Lancelot glanced at me and may have allowed for a small nod of thanks. He was the boss, but it would help if I backed him up. Besides, his accelerated aging had lit a fire under his wrinkly ass. He wanted to go out with a notch on his sword hilt.
