by Molly Green
‘I want to see how London’s been affected,’ Raine said.
Please, Maman, don’t go on.
‘It’s a fine thing when you cannot spare the time to be with your mother on your birthday,’ Simone said unexpectedly. ‘What time will you be home?’
Raine shook her head. ‘I’m not sure. Just have supper without me. But I shouldn’t be too late. If I am, I’ll find the nearest phone box and let you know.’
‘How did you find out about us?’ Pauline Gower looked across her desk at Raine with a friendly smile.
Raine sat nervously on the hard office chair, mesmerised by Miss Gower’s three gold stripes on her epaulette, glittering and winking at her. She’d rehearsed the next bit.
‘The pilot who taught me to fly mentioned it,’ Raine said, ‘but at that time you’d only taken eight women who I was told had several hundred hours each. I was sure more women would be taken on eventually, so I resolved to stay at my job at Biggin Hill airfield rather than join the WAAFs and not be allowed to fly. Then one day a flight lieutenant I worked for …’ Raine forced the memory of Foxy’s sneer to the back of her mind,‘knew I was a qualified pilot and he read out part of a letter from you, where you asked if there were any experienced pilots, including women, who would be interested in joining the ATA.
‘I was so excited for a few moments, thinking my chance had come,’ Raine continued, ‘until he asked me how many flying hours I had. When I told him, he looked at your letter again and said you’d stipulated a minimum of two hundred and fifty hours.’
‘He said that?’ Pauline Gower’s smile disappeared. A puzzled look crossed her face.
‘Yes.’ Raine suddenly had a thought. ‘Would it be rude to ask if you actually said that in the letter, ma’am?’
‘No, you wouldn’t and I didn’t,’ Pauline said immediately. ‘I remember exactly what I said, which was that I’d be delighted to see any qualified pilot who was not able to engage in flying for the RAF. And I specifically said, “which, of course, includes female pilots”.’ Pauline frowned. ‘I wonder why he told you such a thing.’ She caught Raine’s eye. ‘Did he dislike you for any reason?’
What should she say? She didn’t want to get into the lecherous advances Foxy had made or Miss Gower would think she’d be trouble with any male pilots or other male staff around. It sounded so pathetic even to mention it. But should she lie?
‘Your hesitation makes me think there was some kind of problem there,’ Pauline said. She nodded to Raine, her sharp eyes missing nothing. ‘What is this flight lieutenant’s name?’
Raine hesitated, wishing she hadn’t started this. It might scupper her chances of being accepted. Then Linda’s face came before her. For her and any other girl who had the misfortune to work for him, she had to answer.
‘Flight Lieutenant Fox.’
Pauline jotted something – his name, Raine supposed – on a pad, then looked up.
‘The most important thing is – are you still keen to join us?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Raine breathed. ‘It’s what I want to do more than anything.’
‘I’m sure you know the ATA is a civilian organisation, so there’s no saluting or marching or drills and suchlike, but we are under the regulations of the RAF so far as secrecy is concerned. That means no chit-chat with friends and family about airfields where you deliver the aircraft, or what planes you’re flying. It’s common sense, really – but breaching their security would be a most serious offence. You’d be signing a letter along those lines.’ She paused. ‘I don’t know if you realise, Lorraine, but the ferry pool at Hatfield is all female – official title is Ferry Pool Number 5. It’s the first of its kind.’
Raine beamed. ‘I didn’t realise, but I think it’s wonderful, ma’am. I’d be proud to be part of it.’
‘Never forget, Lorraine, for a moment, that we women have to be whiter than white. We can’t have accidents that are our fault or show any feminine weakness whatsoever. Only then will we be considered nearly as good as the men, even though we might individually be far more experienced and skilled.’ She broke off and her gaze was stern. ‘Totally unfair, but we have to buckle down and get on with the job as professionally as we possibly can. Is that understood?’
‘Oh, yes, ma’am. Completely.’
Pauline’s expression relaxed. ‘By the way, you can call me Pauline. As I said, we’re not in the military and we’re all in this together. All right?’
‘Yes, ma’am … I mean Pauline.’
Pauline smiled. ‘Then I’ll arrange for you to have a medical and an eye test. If you have time, we’ll get it done while you’re here.’ She paused. ‘Presumably you’re in good health.’
‘Oh, yes, as far as I know.’
‘Remind me how old you are.’
Please don’t let my age be the thing that stops me from getting in.
‘Twenty … today, actually,’ Raine began in as confident a voice as she could muster, ‘and if you accept me, it will be the best birthday present I could wish for.’
A wide smile lit the neat features of Miss Gower. ‘Oh, my dear, I do wish you a happy birthday.’
Raine hardly heard the words. Almost without knowing, she shifted to the edge of her chair, waiting for Miss Gower’s next comment on whether she might be acceptable or not. As though she’d read her mind, Pauline leant across the desk.
‘You’re very young,’ she said, ‘but I have another twenty-year-old who’s our youngest at the moment and she’s doing an excellent job. And now the French have capitulated it’s a sad day not only for them but for us as well.’ She put her hand to her face and shook her head. ‘So now we fight on alone and it’s even more imperative that we keep our air cover in top form. It’s us against the mighty Luftwaffe.’
Raine held her breath. So far Miss Gower had said nothing about needing parental approval. She felt a certain optimism as she looked into the warm eyes of the commanding officer.
Pauline glanced at Raine’s notes.
‘We’d give you full training on a number of different aircraft, but as you haven’t flown for quite some time, you’ll need to do a flying test for us.’
‘Can you tell me what plane that would be in?’
Pauline smiled. ‘So as not to complicate things, I think we’d better stick to the Tiger Moth, which I understand you’re very familiar with.’
Raine, who’d been holding her breath without realising, breathed out slowly in a happy sigh.
The meeting was clearly at an end when the commanding officer rose to her feet. Raine hesitated. She immediately liked this woman and felt sure she could trust her.
‘Pauline …’ she started.
‘Yes, Lorraine?’
‘You asked me who the flight lieutenant was at Biggin Hill.’
‘That’s right.’ She looked directly at Raine. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Because I think if he found out I was here he would make trouble for me.’
‘In what way?’ Pauline’s mouth tightened.
Raine hesitated. Linda had been emphatic about not taking it any further after all, and Raine had gone along with it. But she hadn’t promised not to say what had happened to anyone else. And if she didn’t tell this nice Miss Gower, or Pauline, as she’d been instructed to call her, she might think Raine had done something awful and not allow her to join the ATA. She looked at who she hoped would be her new boss, who nodded to her to continue.
‘It’s just that … well, he thinks young women who report to him for stenography are sometimes there to serve other purposes.’
Pauline grimaced. ‘I understand perfectly, my dear. No need to explain any further … so if you’d like to follow me, we’ll get your medical done.’
It was late when Raine arrived home. Supper had already been cleared away. She guessed Maman and her father were in the sitting room, Dad reading his paper and Maman probably knitting a sock for an unknown soldier. Raine could hear her muttering in French as she often did when she was anno
yed. Probably trying to turn the heel. Her mother hated that part of the war effort.
Raine gave a wry smile as she put her head round the kitchen door. Suzanne and Ronnie were washing-up, her youngest sister with soapy water up to her elbows and Suzanne drying. They both turned when they heard her come in.
‘Hello, you two.’ Raine dumped her bag on one of the kitchen chairs. ‘Something smells nice. Is there anything left over for me?’
‘Suzy saved you some macaroni cheese,’ Ronnie said, ‘though it’s more macaroni than cheese since it was rationed. But don’t tell Maman that.’ She jerked her head towards the oven. ‘And there’s a bit of cabbage in the saucepan. Probably overcooked now, but finish it up and then I can wash the pan.’
‘How did you get on?’ Suzanne turned to her sister. Raine sent her a warning frown, but Suzanne said, ‘It’s all right. I’ve told Ronnie. She’s not a baby and hasn’t breathed a word.’
‘Don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Ronnie said, winking at Raine.
Raine laughed. The secret would have to come out sooner or later.
‘As long as the medical test is okay and I do a perfect test flight, I should be in. And you’ll never believe this, but the Hatfield ferry pool – where I’d be – they’re all women pilots. Isn’t that astonishing?’
‘It’s wonderful.’ Suzanne hugged her. ‘It’s exactly what you’ve dreamed. Although I don’t really like thinking about you up in the clouds with Germans flying around and shooting at you.’
‘I don’t think it’s quite like that,’ Raine smiled, remembering Doug’s words, just as she was about to take her pilot’s test. She spooned the last meagre portion of macaroni onto her plate. ‘The aeroplanes are too precious to take any risks with mere human beings.’
A week later Raine received a letter from Pauline Gower.
Dear Miss Linfoot,
I am pleased to inform you that your medical has proved satisfactory and to that end, we would like you to join us on 15th July. You will immediately start your training on the various types of aircraft.
Please would you report to Hatfield at 10.30 a.m. on that day for further instructions on your flight test and your accommodation where you will be billeted from 15th July for the foreseeable future.
I should be grateful if you would confirm your acceptance, but in the meantime, if you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask.
Yours sincerely,
Pauline Gower (Commanding Officer)
This was it! What she’d dreamed for so long. Treated like the male pilots, doing the same job, earning …
Raine stopped. Miss Gower hadn’t mentioned anything about wages. But even if she never earned a penny for her efforts, Raine would gladly have said she would still join them.
But now she had to break her news to Maman. Best get it over with while Dad was with her.
Chapter Eleven
July 1941
Raine and her two sisters, Suzanne and Ronnie, stood together in their front garden, heads tilted upwards to a sky that was cloudless, for once – a real summer blue.
‘We’re so near Biggin Hill aerodrome, I bet it won’t be long before the Germans have their eye on it and start bombing,’ Raine said, looking grim-faced. ‘We’ll soon know about it, if so.’
‘If that’s the case, I’m glad you don’t work there any more,’ Suzanne said, shielding her eyes from the sun. ‘We’d all be worried to death.’
‘I’m already worried to death,’ Ronnie said in an anxious voice, sounding older than her years. She turned to look at Raine. ‘You’ll be up there amongst it all soon.’
‘Not in any fighting,’ Raine assured her. ‘My job will be to get the planes delivered so they don’t have to use their pilots for routine work – they need every single one for our defence. The Germans are so sure their Messerschmitts are superior to our Hurricanes and Spitfires, but I reckon they’re in for a nasty shock.’
She daren’t let her sisters know, but inwardly Raine was sick with fear for the RAF boys in Fighter Command, especially since Doug had joined them, itching to do his bit to bring down Jerry, as he’d said in the last letter.
But don’t worry about me, Raine, he’d written. I’m doing what I love best and the chaps are first-rate. But thank God they don’t allow women in combat or I’m sure you’d join up without a moment’s hesitation.
Raine swallowed. He was right. If she’d been allowed to, and had had the training, she didn’t doubt she’d be up there giving those Germans what for. But that didn’t stop her praying nothing bad would happen to Doug. So many times in the past she’d asked herself exactly how she felt about him. He’d never treated her any differently than he would a kid sister, being that much older, but when she was sixteen she’d had dreams that one day he might realise he really cared for her. Now she was older she realised that was all a schoolgirl crush. Now, she happily thought of him as a special friend she adored, and the one who’d made her dream of flying come true.
‘You make it sound so simple,’ Suzanne said.
‘It’s the only way. Once you start fretting you lose your nerve. But when I’m in the sky I feel more at home and relaxed than ever I do on the ground.’ She suddenly realised how tactless she was being. ‘Oh, I don’t mean away from my sisters, or even Dad and Maman. It’s just that I feel I’m alive – and free – and that I’m capable of doing anything I set my heart on.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s hard to explain.’
‘Well, rather you than me,’ Ronnie said firmly. She gave the sky another cursory glance. ‘I’m going for a walk with my feet firmly on the ground. That’s always what helps me to relax. I just wish Maman would let me have a dog,’ she flung over her shoulder as she strode off.
‘It would be nice if Maman would allow her to have a dog,’ Suzanne said when Ronnie was out of earshot. ‘She’s crazy about animals, so it doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Maybe you should have a word with Maman, Suzy. She listens to you more than anyone.’
‘I already have,’ Suzanne said, the corners of her mouth turning down, ‘and she said I wasn’t to mention it again.’
Raine frowned as Ronnie disappeared from view. Her youngest sister was nearly always on her own. Ideally, at fifteen, she should have a girlfriend who also enjoyed messing about outside. But as an alternative, a dog would be the perfect companion.
‘Well, I’ll have a go with her,’ Raine said resolutely, then grinned. ‘Luckily, she hasn’t given me the same order not to mention it again.’
She didn’t hold out much hope with persuading her mother if Suzy hadn’t got anywhere. Maman wasn’t in the best of moods at the moment. She was barely speaking to Raine ever since she’d told her she’d been accepted in the ATA. No, she’d tackle her mother about the dog when things were more settled between them.
Once again Raine had slept badly, but this time it was barely concealed excitement that overrode tiredness. She’d done her best to keep her joy to herself that she was finally being admitted into a world she’d longed for. Today, she’d meet other women pilots like herself; until now, she’d never met one – except for Miss Gower, of course – which ought to help her stop feeling like an outsider as she did where the family was concerned.
She’d had her bath last night, so after a cursory wash she dressed in her only two-piece that she’d worn every day at Biggin Hill, not for the first time thankful it was navy and reasonably smart, and not a million miles from a picture of the ATA uniform Miss Gower had shown her.
I’m sure lots of things will be made clear today, she thought, as she swallowed the last of her toast and jam and finished her cup of tea. She glanced across at her suitcase, already packed and the lid fastened. Quickly she rinsed her cup and plate. The kitchen clock showed twenty minutes to seven. Her cab would be here in five minutes. She couldn’t help smiling as she anticipated the day and where her head might rest tonight.
Suzanne and Ronnie were still in their nightdresses when they saw her off. He
r dearest sisters. She’d miss them, but it wasn’t enough to disturb her happiness that she was escaping Maman’s clutches and beginning her new independent life. She only hoped Suzy and Ronnie would find their own paths during this awful time. Please, God, let the war be over by the time Ronnie comes of age. And then – Raine chewed her lip – where would that leave her? She’d never get a job as a female pilot in civilian times. But as long as the war continued she’d be needed for her beloved flying. Feeling guilty that she should think something so terrible for her own benefit, she shoved the thought away.
Raine couldn’t see a vacant seat when the train finally pulled in. Once on board, she walked along the corridor, glancing through the windows of the compartments. Every single one was full, with soldiers standing – body shoved against body – between the two rows of seats. Finally spotting a vacant seat through the glass of the last compartment, she slid open the door to four adults and five boisterous children.
‘I have to warn you,’ what appeared to be the mother said as Raine sat down, ‘they’re a noisy bunch when they all get going.’
Raine gave a polite smile and sat down, then immediately wished she hadn’t. Something was sticking to her skirt.
She jumped up and inspected the back of it. Ugh. A gluey brown substance had attached itself to the material. Raine tried to pull it off but it clung on. A few threads of gold came away on her fingers. Toffee. The worst thing to clean off.
‘I’m so sorry, dear.’ The mother looked frazzled. ‘It’s not easy trying to control them without their dad.’ She lowered her voice. ‘He was killed at Dunkirk.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Raine said, immediately contrite.
How awful. He’d left his young family behind and the mother had as much admitted that she couldn’t cope.
It wasn’t a particularly long journey, but only half an hour had passed before the first hold-up. Her heart sank. No one ever knew how long it might be and rarely were the passengers given any information. Thankfully, this time it was only a few minutes and then the train slowly moved off like some old man, grumbling away. Raine sighed with relief.
