“She claims they match. At this point I have no way of knowing...”
“Danny’ll sort it all out.” Josh’s friend would have Josh’s back with the police. And Jasmine had faith. Because Josh had given her the ability to believe in a better life each and every time he’d protected her from another blast of their prominent father’s temper.
And now they had Bella to protect.
“Is Bella still asleep?” she asked, reminding herself that they were survivors. And had had their family blessed the day Bella had been born—in a way neither of them had realized could happen. The little one’s innocence and natural joy...
While Bella’s advent into their lives filled Josh and Jasmine with joy, it hadn’t been the same for her mother.
Heidi herself had also been a victim of domestic violence. At first, she had been protective and tender with her little one...
But over that next year, dealing with a crying infant who never let her sleep through the night, jealous of Josh who got to go to work every day and be with adults...she’d changed. Had grown into a state of almost constant irritability. Counseling had helped. Josh had taken Heidi on a couple of small getaways, just the two of them, and things had improved each time. For a while.
“Yeah, sound asleep,” Josh was saying, his tone a bit more relaxed. “Barely peeped when I put her in her car seat. I have her blanket and baby pillow propped around her.”
The baby pillow had been Jasmine’s back in a day when parents hadn’t known better than to put a little pillow and blanket in a crib with a baby. She’d given it to Bella when the toddler had been having trouble transitioning from her crib to the princess bed that came next.
“If you get to the station quickly enough, you could possibly make it back before she even realizes you’ve been gone,” she told him. “You’ll be released as soon as they process you...”
If not, she’d take Bella to work with her. While not a regular by any means, her niece had been a guest at the Stand’s excellent daycare several times.
Moving from the coffeepot to the front window, Jasmine peeked out through the blinds, watching for Josh’s headlights.
“I need to talk to you about that,” Josh said, barely above a whisper. Then added, “I’m here.”
She was already out the front door.
* * *
An arrow sliced the pit of Detective Greg Johnson’s stomach when his phone rang just as dawn was striking. In his modest beach bungalow’s home gym, he glanced toward the cell he’d left on the bench with his towel and continued to do crunches.
Nine. Ten.
He’d made his reps. But his phone was four rings in. He grabbed the phone with one hand and his towel with the other, wiping sweat as he said, “Yeah.”
“You know it’s me,” a petulant female voice said. “Why do you answer like that?”
Guilt jabbed at him.
“I’m working out, Liv. You know that. Every morning from five to six.” She used to complain about it, the way he’d leave her in bed to wake up alone every morning, rather than starting her day within the safety of his arms. Or cuddled up to his back.
Of course, she could have just gotten up with him.
Her silence irritated him, which brought along a bit of residual guilt, which irritated him even more. “What’s up?” he asked. It’d been a couple of months since she’d called him in a state. The longest they’d gone since their two-year-old breakup.
He hadn’t missed those calls.
More guilt.
Accompanied by a need to lie flat on the bench he stood beside and press against every ounce of the 350 pounds hanging from the bar. One hundred and fifty pounds over his weight. Piece of cake compared to dealing with Liv.
“I called now because you don’t like it when I interrupt as you’re getting ready for work. And you don’t like when I call you at work...”
After five. He’d told her, umpteen times, that it would best if she called him in the evening. But then, he’d always picked up every time she’d called outside the parameters. Because she only called when she was struggling. And he had the ability to help.
He couldn’t not answer.
“What’s up?” he asked again. He’d told her when she’d left him to call if she ever needed him. He’d meant the offer.
“Rick called me stupid. I just... I think that’s verbal abuse, isn’t it, when your partner tries to personally belittle you? Especially when you’re already struggling?”
He dropped his towel. Sat on the bench. Workout over.
“You have a bad night?” he asked. Rick calling her stupid didn’t ring true. Middles of the night were her worst times, though the home invasion that had scarred her had been in broad daylight. She hadn’t been physically hurt, other than some bruising, hunger and dehydration, but the a-hole had tied her up and left her there to die, instilling a sense of inadequacy and periodic helplessness with which she still struggled...
“Yeeaaahhh.” The tears started. Dread filled his gut. He kept his thoughts on task.
“Is Rick there?” Greg not only genuinely liked the guy; he admired the hell out of him. The man had some mysterious vault filled with empathy.
“He’s in the shower,” Liv said, sniffing. “I’ve never seen him so angry...”
The Richard Haley Greg knew was a saint. His mother had been a victim of human trafficking before she’d had him, and he’d grown up tending to her fears. And seemed to understand Olivia in a way Greg never could.
But you never really knew, did you, unless you were in the relationship? Liv had misinterpreted Greg on almost a daily basis. So maybe Greg had Richard wrong...
“Tell me what happened.”
“The anxiety...you know how it gets...that I can’t always help it...”
When he’d first started seeing her, six months after his office had prosecuted the invasion, she’d been on prescribed medication for anxiety. During the course of their three-year on-again, off-again relationship, she’d traded those in for illegal substances for a short stint. She’d been sober their last year together, though. And two years after that, still was. He’d had dinner with the couple two nights ago.
“There’s no way I can go in to work...”
“Which is why you arranged it so you could work from home,” he reminded her.
“I know, but...it’s a bad one, Greg. I couldn’t be alone today. And Rick...he didn’t get any sleep, either, and...”
Everything in him tensed. Not in a good way.
“He lost his temper with you?”
“Not at first.”
If the man had hurt her...if he’d so much as broken a hair on her head...
He took a deep breath. Liv had a way of getting him to overreact—also not in a good way. He couldn’t always separate the drama from reality with her.
“When then?”
“When I called into work and said that he was sick and would be working from home today.”
Oh God. Running a hand through his hair, Greg grabbed his towel. Threw it, along with the T-shirt he pulled off one-handedly, into the laundry bin on his way toward the shower.
“You called him in sick,” he said, trying his damnedest to keep all inflection out of his voice.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because he can work from home, just like I can, but if I called myself into work, there’d be no reason for him to stay home. Calling in sick for him gives me a reason to call myself off to care for him.”
Calling in sick for him made her look like the strong one. Every once in a while he got how her psyche rolled. Whether or not she got it, too, was a mystery to him.
“You don’t think he’d have a reason to stay home if you were sick?”
More likely, she hadn’t trusted that he would and, as she’d admitted, she hadn’t wan
ted to be alone.
Her lack of response to his latest question was respite, at least. He still had to deal with whatever Rick had done or said. As a cop he couldn’t hear something of concern and just walk away. As Liv’s ex, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to fully walk away. Not because he loved her. But because he didn’t.
Because he felt for her. And felt horrible about his inability to tend to the aftereffects of her trauma on a daily basis. “What did Rick do when you told him you’d called in sick for him?” he finally asked, after listening to sniffles for a lot of seconds.
“He said...he said...he said it was a stupid thing to do!” She was crying again, but after years of deciphering her words through tears, he was pretty sure he’d heard them right.
“He didn’t call you stupid. He said what you’d done was stupid.”
“It’s the same thing.” More sobs followed. He tried to ignore them. She couldn’t help the emotion. And he’d never understand the seemingly uncontrollable intensity of it.
“No, it’s not. You’ve kind of put him in a tough spot, saying he’s sick when he’s not. He’s now either forced to show you up for a liar with your employer or lie to his employer.” Who happened to be one and the same.
Greg was sure he was being too harsh. But she knew him. And she’d called him. He gave her what he had.
“Yeah,” she said, sounding more like the woman he’d been drawn to once upon a time. “I already called back and told them that I was wrong about him not feeling well, and that I’d be working from home today.”
“Does Rick know that?”
“Not yet.” He could hear the huff and puffs of air as she started to cry once again. “I’m afraid he’s going to leave me...”
A fear he’d heard so often...and could never assuage. I’m afraid you’re going to leave me, Greg. Are you going to leave me, Greg?
“You made this one right, Liv. You always do. He knows that. Just as he knows what he signed on for. So why would you think he’d leave you?” He had the thought that maybe Rick had finally had enough. Hoped he was wrong about that.
“You did.”
He’d wanted to. God, he’d wanted to. He had a bit of a savior complex—him always feeling like he needed to rescue people. Made him good at his job, but not so good in relationships, as he never factored in his own needs until it was too late.
“No, Liv. You left me, remember?”
“Only because you made me feel unwelcome.”
He probably had. There’d been days he’d dreaded going home when he’d known she was going to be there.
“You’re a smart, capable woman,” he told her. “You’re witty and loyal and nurturing. You’ve increased product sales by more than fifty percent in the five years you’ve been at your current position. Your team loves working for you. Think about those things, Liv. Think about the fact that you have way more good days than bad.”
It’s what had kept him sane when they’d been together.
“Yeah. You’re right. I just...when the fear takes over... I feel like such a freak...”
“Talk to Rick. Ask him how he feels about you.”
Another twinge as Greg considered the idea that Rick’s feelings might have changed in the past forty-eight hours, but he didn’t think so.
God, he hoped not.
“He’s just getting out of the shower. I have to go. Thanks, Greg.”
Rick was getting out of the shower. Greg was getting in. Wondering if he’d ever find someone who fit him as well as Rick fit Liv.
CHAPTER 2
Just seeing her brother in his typical dress pants, shirt and tie made Jasmine feel better. Business as usual. With a little sidebar trip before the day really got started. They’d sort this out.
“It’s just another ditch in the road,” she told him after he’d carried his daughter in and settled her, still sleeping, in her room.
Another ditch in the road. A line from a Savage Garden song they’d been drawn to as teenagers. Abuse. Destruction. Mom takes kids and leaves. And then, because there are bills to pay, goes back.
Until, in their case, she didn’t. Jasmine had been seventeen, Josh fifteen, when Mary Taylor had finally found the courage to stand up to her soft-spoken, powerful and abusive husband. She’d made a deal with him—she wouldn’t go to the police as long as he put a million dollars apiece in a trust fund for each of their children and didn’t ever contact her again. She’d taken a hell of a beating for her efforts while he told her he’d make mincemeat of her reputation, say she was crazy. He even threatened he’d have her committed. Until Josh had walked in the room and shown him a picture he’d just snapped of his father’s fist raised over his cowering mother. Oscar Taylor had been so enraged with Mary that he hadn’t heard Josh come in.
One look at the photo and that anger had seeped out of him. A balloon without air. He’d sagged right before their eyes, still staring at the photo. As though, until that moment, he hadn’t known who he’d become.
When Josh had turned twenty-one, he’d taken a good chunk of his inheritance to start Play for the Win. Not only was he chairman of that board, but he was also now into various other investments, helping their trusts grow. Until he’d gained sole custody of Bella, he’d been at the Santa Barbara Play for the Win facility, working with the kids, at least three times a week. Just as she spent so much volunteer time at The Lemonade Stand. They’d survived their youth and were paying it forward.
In her kitchen that September Tuesday morning, with a cup of coffee in his hand, Josh hadn’t yet said a word. Putting ice in an insulated glass, she poured herself the one caffeinated soda she allowed herself a day. She wasn’t a coffee drinker.
“You know this is just more of Heidi’s crap,” she told him. That was her job, to make sure the funk didn’t get him. Just like he was the person she called when fear tried to play with her.
He looked her in the eye. Her silent gaze told him what he needed to know. When he nodded, she knew he’d heard. Took a sip of her soda.
“I need you to keep Bella, Jas.”
Jasmine coughed, sending carbonated liquid into her nasal cavities. Her eyes watered while her mind flew. Take Bella? What kind of nonsense was he talking?
Heidi had done a number on Josh for sure. But Jasmine had thought he was beyond it. Beyond Heidi’s ability to get to him.
“Heidi would rather see her with Child Services than with me.” Her brother’s tone was firm, calm as he looked at her. “She’s descended to a new low.”
“Yeah, but we’ll—”
He shook his head, cutting off her fight call before she’d uttered it.
“I won’t have Bella pulled into this.”
Of course not. Neither would she. That little girl was going to grow up abuse-free. Not just physically, but psychologically, too. That wasn’t negotiable. For any kids either of them brought into the world. Patterns that might have some pull on them would not repeat themselves. They’d promised each other. If either of them ended up in a situation like their mother, they’d get out.
She nodded. Listening for any sounds emanating from the handheld child monitor receiver sitting on the counter. When Bella had been a newborn, Jasmine had carried the device even into the bathroom with her when she’d been on babysitting duty. More recently, she had to know when the little girl was out of bed. Bella had a curiosity that didn’t quit and almost no sense of fear.
Both Jasmine and Josh celebrated that lack of fear—even as they’d acknowledged that the little girl needed to develop just a healthy dose of it.
“Don’t you think this is a little drastic?” she asked softly, hoping Josh could tap into her calm, like she’d tapped into his so many times in the past. “Even if you’re not home before she’s due to go to her nanny, you’ll be home sometime today...”
“She’s asking for Bella to be removed from
the home immediately. They could make that a condition of my release. I can’t risk it, Jas.”
Sickness spread through her. Insidious fear. Powerlessness. “She always has a home here. You know that,” she said. Bella could slide right into her life with very little effort. That wasn’t the point. Josh didn’t deserve to lose the brightest bulb in his life. And Bella didn’t deserve to lose him, either. They weren’t powerless.
Evil couldn’t do this to him. He shouldn’t have anything real to fear. Which was why she had to keep Bella like he’d asked. It dawned on her why he was asking. “Heidi doesn’t have any family for her to go to, so I’m it,” she said. “If she’s already here, moved in, with daycare in place, chances are Child Services won’t disrupt her while they investigate Heidi’s allegations.”
Josh wasn’t running scared. He was thinking clearly. Practically.
“Exactly.”
“And if she’s here, you’ll be able to see her whenever you want.”
He shrugged, turning enough that she couldn’t see his face as he sipped his coffee and picked up his keys. “Depends on what the court decides, initially. I won’t let Heidi push me into making a mistake. If I have to go a few days without seeing Bella while they investigate bogus charges, then I do. I’m going to play by the rules.”
As she’d expect him to.
The whole thing sucked.
Other than that, she had the unexpected gift of Bella for a few days. Having come to the painful conclusion that, because she’d made the choice not to have a partner relationship, she might never have a child of her own, she’d poured every bit of nurturing instinct into Bella since the day her niece was born.
“I’ve got a couple of suitcases and bags of her things out in the car,” Josh said, setting down his cup and heading for the door. “I want to get her moved in, and get me out of here, before anyone comes after me and grabs her, too.”
Harlequin Romantic Suspense July 2021 Box Set Page 65
