“Do you not have those feelings for me?”
That hadn’t been what she’d thought he would say. Not even a little bit. She blinked a few times to try to find her focus. “That’s not the point. I’m dangerous for you.”
“I asked you something, Seven.”
He had, and she wanted to answer him, because she was obviously losing her mind. “I do. Of course, I do. How could I not? I’m lying here in your bed in the middle of the night, and every time you touch me it makes me want to wrap myself around you and never let go.”
He stroked a hand over the side of her face. “If you’re trying to make me leave you alone, what you just said is not going to do it.”
“I’m trying to be honest.”
Ben nodded. “Good.”
“I’m not good for you. You need to think of the girls, and if you’re serious about your feelings, then you need to protect your own heart. I’m going to be dead in a few days.”
He sighed and pulled her closer until her head pressed against his chest. She could hear his strong heartbeat. “You’re not dying.”
“Yes. I am.” Had he not been paying attention?
“I’m going to delay your return to Crescent as long as possible, and then I’ll think of something else and something after that, too. No one is going to hurt you, Seven. I can assure you of that.”
She closed her eyes as his scent seemed to envelop her in a warm cocoon. It wasn’t that she was tired. No, this was something else, and she didn’t have a name for it. He smelled male, spicy, and… safe.
“What about the girls?”
“I always think about the girls. We have to keep Daphne safe. Who better to be with on that task than you?”
“Ben.” She opened her eyes. “You just met me. You may not like me tomorrow. Are you sure you want to risk everything on me?”
“Seven, I met my wife, and within minutes knew I would marry her. I’m built like that. When something is mine, I know it instantly. You’re mine. That’s all there is to it.”
“Even if I say it’s a bad idea?”
He sucked in his breath. “At any time, you can say you don’t want me. I’ll respect that and leave you alone. But you have to mean it, because I can taste a lie. I’ll know if you’re just saying that out of some sort of need to protect me by making me leave you.”
“You can taste it?” She traced his features as she wondered if it was possible to memorize them that way. “Are you sure you’re not Conditioned?”
“I might be. Maybe that’s where Daphne gets it. I never thought of it as being odd, just something I could do.”
She closed her eyes. “Then we’ll protect you, too. Here’s the thing. If I let myself believe you and something goes wrong, I’m going to be destroyed.”
“Whether you believe my feelings for you are real or not, I’m still not going to let you die. That I can promise you.”
Just like that, she believed him. He had feelings for her. She was his, and he wouldn’t let her die. Even if she told him it was a really bad idea.
Already pressed up against him, she launched her arms around his neck. God didn’t want the Conditioned. Madame told them all the time that they were the work of the Devil, but perhaps a divine presence of some kind had heard her prayers and sent him to her for trying so hard to be good. Or at the very least, to show her what it felt like to belong somewhere before she died.
His lips met hers, and for a second she couldn’t breathe—couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stay precisely still and feel the soft-yet-firm press of his lips on hers. Then, as if guided by desire alone, she kissed him back. And—oh yes—it felt like coming home.
They kissed in silence, neither of them moving. She opened her mouth slightly to invite more of his exploration.
He raised his hand to cup the side of her face as a slight moan left his lips. Finally, he pulled back to regard her. He breathed hard, his eyes no longer sleepy but laden with heat.
“Okay, we have to stop.” His voice sounded husky. “Or I’m going to lose all my good intentions of treating you with respect.”
“I don’t want respect.”
He laughed, a smile dancing on his face. “Sure you do.” He leaned over to kiss her nose. “But I’m glad to know you want me as much as I want you.”
Seven might not have known everything she wished she did about the world around her, but she knew one thing—she wanted Ben, and as far as she was concerned, there was no time to waste. “Please, don’t stop. Not tonight. I need to feel like I’m yours.”
That must have been the right thing to say, because he pulled her into his arms again and drove his tongue into her mouth. She lost herself in the moment. He was rougher this time, and that was fine by her. This was Ben, and he wanted her with staggering intensity.
“God.” He sat up, pulling her into his lap. “I want you so bad. I’m actually nervous about how hot you make me. I’m trying to treat you gently, and all I want to do is drive into you like a maniac.”
“Ben.” She couldn’t believe how breathy her voice sounded. “I’m not a virgin. They sterilized us all a year ago after something happened. I’m not sure what. Anyway, now everyone tries to get away from the guards so they can fuck.”
His eyes widened at her choice of words.
She rushed to continue. “I’m not doing that. I’ve only ever done it once. I found it to be sort of awkward and uninteresting. But I can’t get pregnant, and you don’t need to treat me like I’m totally inexperienced.”
“Honey, you are so incredible. I’m not concerned with your level of experience. I’m worried about my reaction to you. I’m not a violent person, but I have this real need to possess you that makes me nervous. I’m trying to go slowly, to control it.”
“No.” She rose on her knees before she pressed down on his lap. “No control between us. None of us can know how long we have on this planet. I don’t want to screw up a minute of it by holding back from what we both want.”
Ben made a sound that resembled a growl. He pushed her down on the bed, looming above her. She reached up to stroke his chest. He was so well-defined, he could have been chiseled out of stone.
“I’ve never seen a man who looks like you before.”
And she wanted to look her fill. A hard bulge, that hadn’t been there earlier, pressed out of his dark pajama pants. She reached out to touch the top of it through the fabric.
He hissed out a breath. “Don’t do that. It feels unbelievable, honey, but I won’t last. I want you too much.”
She had never really wanted sex before. She’d tried it and then never wished to do so again. What was the point when it was so… blah? But now she was hot and bothered inside.
To have him touching her, she would be willing to endure the pain from sex that came next. She wouldn’t mind. It might even be nice to be that close.
“You’re thinking too hard.” He straddled her waist. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing important.”
He leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. “I’ll be the judge of that.” He bit down lightly on her skin, and she couldn’t believe the breathy sigh that escaped her mouth.
“Ah, I see. My girl likes to be bitten.” He grinned. “That’s very exciting to me.”
“I want to be.” She ran her fingers down his chest, loving the feel of goosebumps that popped up on his skin as she did. “I want to be exciting to you.”
“You are, Seven, just by being you. I want to know your body. I need to learn all the places that you like to be touched, to be stroked, to be loved.”
Did he want her to tell him? She wasn’t even sure herself. “I’m not really certain if I have spots.”
“You have them. I just bit one of them, and you practically purred.”
She felt her cheeks heat up. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” He shook his head. “No, honey, it was so damn sexy. Everything about you is so incredibly hot. I love it, and I’m h
onored to be the one who gets to seek out all of those places and to hear all of your incredible noises.”
“Ben, I’m so embarrassed right now.” And she couldn’t remember the last time she had been this uncomfortable.
“None of that between us.” He helped her up until their faces were so close, they touched nose to nose. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. There is no embarrassment between us.”
Then they were kissing again, only this time she almost could not keep up with the pressure that was Ben’s mouth against hers. He controlled their pace, he set the tone, and she was fine with that. Because she was his, and she’d never been anyone’s before.
He stopped to tug at her nightgown. “You look like sin personified in that thing. It should be illegal for them to sell clothing like this.”
She looked down at what she was wearing. “It’s just cotton.” Even though it was more risqué than the floor-length white one she wore usually, she didn’t think there was anything inherently sexy in her nightgown. It was basically an oversized blue T-shirt.
“Cotton has never looked so good on anyone.”
He slid his hand up her leg, and she thought she might have stopped breathing. His fingers found her panties. For a brief second, he touched the outside of her pussy through her underwear. She let out a long breath, trying to keep her head in place. What was happening to her? She wasn’t even naked and already she was so unbelievably wet.
“Your heat calls to me like I’m a man possessed.” Ben’s voice had gotten very low; his eyes bored into hers. “Scoot back.”
With one hand, he helped guide her until her head was on the pillow, pressed up against the headboard.
“Should I brace myself?” She wasn’t entirely certain why he wanted her where he’d put her, but if he was just going to go and plunge right inside her, she wanted to know ahead of time. The last thing she needed was a goose-egg on her head because she wasn’t warned.
“No.” He shook his head. “Are you serious, or are you kidding?”
“I’m serious.” Although now she was confused.
“I promise you, if you ever need to ‘brace’ yourself during sex, I will give you a heads-up. Although the idea is really repugnant to me.”
“Then why did I need to be up against the headboard?”
He kissed the top of her knee. “Before I’m done with you, lady, you will have a sense of adventure and know you should never be afraid of me. Ever. Someday, when you’re an old lady, you’ll look back on this and laugh.”
His finger pressed deeper into her underpants and she gasped. No one had ever touched her so intimately, not even herself. There was no privacy in Crescent. They slept on beds that were about ten inches from each other. It didn’t lend itself to a lot of self-exploration. Fucking took place in hidden spots that didn’t stay secret for very long.
“I’m going to take your panties off now.”
“Okay.” Was that her voice sounding so sultry? Seven felt like a much more adventurous woman had taken over her mind and body. No matter—she liked what was happening to this one much better than the things that took place in her regular life.
He slid the scrap of cotton off with one finger. “Spread your legs open for me, honey. Or better yet, let’s take your nightie off first.”
She gulped. Ben was going to see her completely naked. She’d been all for this, but what if he didn’t like what he saw?
As she sat up, she pulled her nightgown over her head.
“Okay.”
“Seven.”
“Yes, Ben?” She couldn’t look at him. She looked everywhere else she could.
The ceiling… the side of the bed… yes, that was completely interesting.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Her eyes glazed as he reached out to cup both her breasts. “I feel like I’ve just been given such a gift, and just so you know, I intend to worship your body all night.”
A response formed in her mouth but could she say it? Was she brave?
“Then I think we should get you out of your pants, Ben.
Turnabout is fair play, right?”
Nine
Ben hadn’t anticipated this when he’d gone to bed, but now that Seven had woken him and crawled into bed with him, he was as happy as he could remember being. Now he was getting to ravish her hot body to his heart’s content.
If she wanted his pants off, he’d take them off. If only his arms and legs would obey his commands. Basically, his whole body had gone into “Seven Shock.”
He smiled at her, knowing he probably looked sheepish. “Can you help me?”
“It would be my pleasure.” The low, sultry tone of her voice made him think it really might be.
She tugged at his pants until they came down far enough that he could shove them off using his feet. The hardness of his erection strained against his briefs. Seven did things to his libido that should have been illegal. The fact that she was Conditioned meant everything about their connection actually might be…
“I want to touch you. I want to be inside you. Stroke you until your sweet juices drip all over my fingers.”
“Ben.”
Her eyes were huge, and he was sure if he could see her more clearly in the dark, her cheeks would be red. He loved that she could be so easily shocked.
“Do my words make you uncomfortable?” If they did, he would stop. He wanted to say all kinds of dirty, hot things to her, but he wanted her comfortable more than anything else.
“They make me feel… hot inside.” She looked down as if that were somehow shameful.
He cupped her face and forced her to look him in the eyes. His cock ached to be stroked, or better yet to find release inside the folds of her hot pussy, but he was a man with tremendous patience—he exerted some now. “That’s a good thing. You know that, right?”
“I know that I want you in a way I have never wanted anyone else. Sex was kind of… blah… for me.” Her pale shoulders went up and down in a shrug. Seven had a way of saying things that was unique to her.
“Well, we’ll endeavor to do better than blah.” He had a feeling the next few minutes might actually make him feel the Earth move beneath them.
“It’s already better than anything I’ve ever done before, and we haven’t done anything yet.”
He brushed the hair out of her face. “Just look what kissing you and thinking about sex with you has done to me.” He grabbed her hand and placed it on his hard cock.
She smiled as she squeezed the end of it. Pleasure shot through his body at her inexperienced but incredible touch. He closed his eyes, willing himself not to lose it right at that second. He’d wanted her to feel him, to know what was going to happen between them. She wasn’t a virgin, but how experienced could she be if she thought of sex as “blah”?
He hadn’t counted on almost losing control himself.
“Does that feel good?”
As he leaned down to kiss her, he grinned. “Too good. So stop doing it before I embarrass myself all over your hand.”
Her eyes got huge. “Oh.”
“Roll over, honey. I want to see you from behind.”
“Why?”
She was really too cute for words. “Because I want to see your pretty little ass. Now, roll over, please.”
Seven did as he’d asked. Looking at her round, tight ass in front of him made a growl start in his throat. “Maybe someday—not today—you’ll trust me enough that we’ll do it this way, too.”
“It can be done that way?”
The wonder in her voice amused him. She wasn’t scared, his Seven, not at all. He squeezed her behind, and she gasped. Using his tongue, he gave in to the urge that drove him, and he licked all the way up her back. She was so thin—too thin, really—and he could see the outline of her spine very clearly in the bumps and ridges on her back.
“I’m going to make it my mission to feed you. A lot.”
Her skin felt soft against his lips. An
d the slightly salty taste on his tongue—he loved it. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled her coffee scent.
He reached the back of her neck and rubbed it gently. She moaned under his ministrations.
“Does that feel good, honey?”
She squirmed. “You have magical hands, Ben.”
“Flip over.”
“Had enough of my backside?”
He pinched her butt cheek, and she yelped before losing it in a fit of giggles. “I just wanted to admire your whole body. I’ve been worshiping it silently.”
She flipped over, and, in an instant, he had his hands on her glorious breasts. If there was a God, he’d really known what he was doing when he’d made Seven’s parts. Everything was round and supple in the right places. He had a feeling that once he got her fed to a proper level, they’d be even more spectacular.
He bent over, kissing the place where her neck met her collarbone. “Seven, you are your own person. When I say you belong to me what I mean is that you are in my heart, the way the people I love are. Do you understand?”
“I do.” She nodded. “Please do that again.”
“That’s a good spot for you?” He licked it, wanting to memorize her taste. “I’m going to love finding your special places.”
Beneath him, she squirmed. “What’s happening to me? I feel like I’m going to burst into flames from the inside out.”
“That’s a good thing.” He kissed her again. “I feel the same way.”
Reaching down, he stroked her core. He needed his boxers off, now. Never before had the need to be inside another person practically overwhelmed him. Ben didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t get sheathed inside her soon, but it felt as if he might actually implode.
She moaned, her hands moving up to grab at her face. Her eyes were closed. Her body arched restlessly. Yes, he could make her come. He wanted to more than anything else. First, he would bring her pleasure this way, and then he would do it again from deep inside her.
He adjusted his hand until he found the small bundle of nerves he was searching for. As he stroked it, her eyes flew open, gazing up at him. They were filled with pleasure and confusion.
Illicit Connections (Illicit Minds Book 2) Page 9
