“We could hire that Miller boy to take on some more chores around here.” He shrugged. “I’m sure you all could manage without me for a little while.”
Everyone was quiet for a moment and then they all began talking at once.
“Are you sure…” Dax started.
“You don’t have to do that,” Alice said quietly.
“I think it’s a great idea!” That was Katy’s voice piping in over the other two, loud and filled with enthusiasm.
James was focused on Alice and her strange reaction. He would have thought she’d be pleased. After all, he was her best friend—she told him so almost daily. Besides which, she’d be getting what she wanted.
But she stood there staring at him with nothing short of horror in her eyes as Dax asked him logistical questions about who could cover for him in his absence and how long it would take to get her settled in.
Katy chimed in with suggestions and between the three of them it was sorted rather easily. It was a plan, and one that made sense.
So why was Alice staring at him with wide eyes, like he’d just suggested they take a road trip to Hawaii?
It wasn’t until Dax and Katy left to check on the ranch’s new puppies that Alice addressed him directly. “You really…you don’t have to do this.”
For the first time in his life, he had no idea what she was thinking. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Why wouldn’t I? Maybe because it was a masochistic move—an offer that was akin to torture? Maybe because there was a good chance his heart would never survive a goodbye that lasted the duration of a road trip.
He knew those answers, but she couldn’t have any idea how much this would hurt. Besides, he could stand the pain if it meant helping her succeed. That was a decision he’d made five years ago when he’d pushed her away and nothing had changed between then and now.
She was still Dax and Cole’s little sister with more creativity and intelligence than the rest of Lulu combined, and a world of opportunities lying before her. And he was still the unwanted son of a drunken ranch hand and a woman who didn’t love him enough to stick around after his first birthday.
A future with Alice was as far away now as it had been back then.
“I thought you needed a ride,” he said.
She licked her lips, her gaze shifting over everything in the room but him. “I do, but I can drive myself.”
He stared at her in confusion. “But why go alone if you don’t have to?”
And why fight her on this? She was giving him an out, a reason to avoid certain torture.
But there was a part of him that would suffer any amount of heartache for one more minute in her company. Sad but true. He clearly was a masochist.
She didn’t answer him. Instead, she shifted in place, clasping and unclasping her hands.
He kept silent.
Silence had long been his friend. He was comfortable with it, unlike Alice. She always said that was why they made the best friends. If left to his own devices, he’d never open up. If left to hers, she’d never quit talking.
Her silence now was unnerving. She was typically the one to break it, unless she was waiting him out. She had the uncanny knack of knowing when he needed to talk and that was when she’d wait him out. In silence. But now…
He watched her fidget, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears as she nibbled on her lower lip. Now, she wasn’t waiting for him to speak.
She was keeping something from him.
The thought was a blow to the gut. They didn’t keep secrets from one another.
Well, she didn’t keep secrets from him.
Did she?
And the only secret he kept from her was the fact that he was in love with her. Sure, it might have been a doozy of a secret, but he kept it to himself for her sake and for the sake of their friendship.
“Look, Alice, if you don’t want me going with you I’m sure we can find another solution,” he said.
That had her meeting his gaze for the first time in several minutes, and while her smile seemed forced, it was there. “No,” she said with a shake of her head. “No, that’s okay. We can go together.”
As if she knew just how unenthusiastic that sounded, her smile brightened. “It’ll be great.”
He nodded, unconvinced. When she walked past him and punched his arm, he was even less convinced. Two days on the road being her best bud?
Yeah, this should be really great.
Chapter Three
This was a disaster waiting to happen.
How had Alice allowed this to occur? Why had Dax said okay to this stupid plan? Bigger question—how was she going to survive eighteen hours in the close confines of this truck without her heart bursting into a million pieces?
Alice glanced over at James’s profile as he drove them out of Lulu. The pass they were headed for was one she’d traveled a million times before, and often with James at her side. But now, today, it felt like she was entering totally foreign territory.
And she was, she supposed. She just hadn’t gotten there yet. Los Angeles was still a long way off. A long, silent way off.
Flipping on the radio she took her time scanning through to find a station they’d both enjoy. After that she made a production out of organizing the mountain of snacks Cole and Claire had dropped off when they’d come to say goodbye. After that… well, after that Alice was out of things to do to occupy her hands and her mind.
And there were still roughly seventeen hours and fifty minutes of drive time ahead of them.
Lovely.
“Are you nervous?” James asked.
His quiet, low voice shouldn’t have shocked her, but it did. He was too quiet to be startling but since he rarely spoke—and almost never without being forced to—she shot upright like he’d just zapped her with a cattle prod.
“What?” She turned to him in confusion.
He shifted, readjusting his grip on the wheel. When he glanced over, his dark gaze met hers and she held her breath.
It was a reaction she’d developed over time whenever he gave her a particularly searing look or when he hugged her and his scent threatened to drown her alive with forbidden emotions. But holding her breath was a habit she’d have to kick while sharing a long ride in the same truck.
She planned on arriving in Los Angeles very much alive, which meant breathing was essential.
He shot her another sidelong look and she forced herself to exhale evenly. She was being ridiculous. They’d been friends for years now. And yeah, maybe it had been a struggle to force the old feelings at bay, but there was no reason for her to panic just because they’d be traveling together in close quarters.
If she could be his buddy on the ranch these past five years, she could handle one long road trip.
“You seem uneasy,” he said, as if reading her mind.
“Me?” She tried for shocked but it came out shrill. “Why would I be uneasy?”
Just because I’m trapped in an enclosed space mere inches from the guy I’d once thought was the love of my life? Get over yourself, already.
He arched a brow as he glanced over and flickered his eyes up and down, taking in her fidgeting and shifting. “Maybe because you’re moving away from home for the first time in your life?”
Oh right.
That.
She cleared her throat and looked out the passenger side window. “It won’t be forever.”
Maybe. Probably.
Her throat started to close up at the thought of only seeing her siblings once every few months. At the thought of only seeing James on major holidays. The next time she came back he’d probably have a girlfriend. After all, she wouldn’t be there to keep him safe from the more persistent buckle bunnies. They’d be all over him before she could say so long, see you at Thanksgiving!
“So what’s with that frown?”
She spun back to face him but he was staring straight ahead at the road, as he should be.
Was she frowning? Heck yeah,
she was. This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted James to drive her. Now her clean break with the ranch would be a drawn out, emotionally complex goodbye.
Even the cleanest of breaks weren’t easy—hadn’t she learned that after his brutal rejection all those years ago?
How was she supposed to survive this…a grueling, long, complicated farewell?
“It’s not easy to say goodbye,” she finally managed.
He nodded. “But it’s for the best.”
She stared at his profile. Was he talking about her leaving the ranch…or her leaving him?
She bit back a sigh of frustration. She wouldn’t be having these inner debates if she were on a plane right now.
But then again, she wouldn’t be inhaling and memorizing the exact scent of James’s leather jacket if she were on a plane right now. That scent which from here on out would forever be categorized under “bittersweet” in her olfactory senses.
“You think so?” She hadn’t really meant to say it but it slipped out nonetheless.
He gave her a sidelong smile that melted her insides and turned them to goo—a sensation which would have been distracting and alarming if she wasn’t entirely used to it. As it was, she was pretty good at ignoring it, as well as that epic grin.
“I know so,” he said.
He said it so solemnly it sounded like a vow.
Her frown eased and she found a matching smile growing because that was the way it always was when she was around him. He drove her nuts, he made her long and ache and want things she shouldn’t—but when all was said and done, he was the one and only person in the world who could always make her feel better.
She supposed that was why, despite their history, he was still her best friend.
He turned back to the road. “You deserve this, Al.”
His use of her childhood nickname helped her settle into the friend zone. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”
Her tone was teasing but she honestly wanted to know. He always said things like that—he always had, come to think of it. You deserve the best; you deserve to have all your dreams come true; you deserve to go to college; you deserve to go to the big city.
He shrugged as if the answer was obvious.
She shifted to face him better. “I’m serious, James. How come you think I deserve this? It’s not like I deserve it more than anyone else.”
Now he was the one frowning, but it was a brooding look of confusion, like he didn’t understand the question. “Of course you deserve it more than anyone else,” he said.
She fought a grin at how defensive he was on her behalf.
“Just look at how hard you work, how hard you’ve always worked,” he said. “Not to mention you have just about the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Aw shucks,” she murmured teasingly, but that heart in question warmed nicely at the compliment.
James was apparently on a roll and he ignored her teasing entirely, too caught up in his pep talk. Since she was typically the self-appointed cheerleader in this BFF twosome, she sat back and let herself revel. Besides, she really could use a pep talk. She was embarking on a new life in a new city, and all.
“I’m serious, Alice. You’re the best person I know. You’ve got heart, you’ve got courage—”
“All I need is some ruby slippers,” she teased quietly.
Once again he ignored her. “You’ve got more common sense, enthusiasm, and intelligence than everyone in Lulu combined.”
She laughed softly at that. It was rare to see James fired up about anything, so to see him so passionate about this—about her—well, her heart went from warm to hot-as-Hades in a heartbeat.
He looked over at her with arched brows and a rueful grin. “You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?”
She shook her head quickly. “No, I love it. You should give motivational talks all the time. Get yourself a TED Talk or something.”
“A Ted…what?” His arched brow asked for explanation but she shook her head.
“Forget it. I’m just saying that your enthusiasm is encouraging.”
He gave a short nod. “Good. I don’t like to see you unhappy.”
She tried really hard not to overthink that but overthinking and overanalyzing were sort of her specialty in life, particularly when it came to this man.
“Well, you’re doing a stellar job of cheering me up,” she said with a grin.
“Yeah? It’s working?” His eagerness made her heart hurt and she nodded quickly.
“I’m feeling much better now.”
“Good.” His lopsided grin was unspeakably sexy. So much so that she was forced to look away.
“So what’s our plan?” she said. “Want me to take over driving in a couple hours?”
He nodded. “That works. Let’s see how we’re feeling after lunch.”
And with that, things settled into normalcy—at least, as normal as they ever were between the two of them. The silence was comfortable and when they did chat it was friendly and filled with laughter.
For a little while there, Alice could actually pretend that there was nothing weird about this. That maybe they really were just friends.
After lunch she took over at the wheel. This was one of the many things she loved about James. He always treated her like an equal. He was chivalrous and gentlemanly, sure, but he wasn’t a misogynist and he didn’t try to treat her like she was inferior just because she was a woman.
All this was to say, he didn’t even blink when handing over the keys to the truck, something neither of her older brothers would have done. They still insisted on treating her like their little sister even now that she was grown.
As the sun began to set, the weather took a turn for the worse. They’d had big plans of driving well into the night, maybe even making it to California in one day. But…
“This isn’t happening,” she said.
“Want me to take over?”
Her knuckles were white against the steering wheel as the torrential rain made the stripes on the road invisible and oncoming traffic a blur. “I don’t know that either of us should be driving in this.”
And that was how a little while later they found themselves drying off at a roadside diner as they used their smartphones to start looking for nearby hotel rooms.
There was one. A motel off the highway. They had one room available.
Of course.
She held back a curse as she booked that one room. Forcing a smile, she filled James in.
“One room?” he repeated.
“Mm-hmm.”
The tension felt as thick as a knife. Or maybe that was just the smell of grease in this diner. Or maybe it was all on her end.
James didn’t seem tense. He looked just as laid back as ever, like the thought of sharing a motel room didn’t bother him in the slightest.
And why would it? she reminded herself. He wasn’t the one who had stupid, unwanted, childish feelings.
The injustice of it all made her want to scream, but instead she gave him a brilliant smile. “Impromptu sleepover. This should be fun.”
Chapter Four
Fun. Fun?
In what universe was this torture considered fun?
Of course the only room they could find only had one bed. James had insisted on taking the floor but now he stared up at the dirty ceiling and listened to Alice move around the room as she finished getting ready for bed.
He could do this. It was one night in the same room. Soon enough they’d be in Los Angeles, he’d help her settle in and then…
Then what? A voice mocked.
Then he’d leave.
Really? There was that nagging voice again, the one he’d thought he’d left behind. But no, apparently it had been waiting for him to be at his weakest—alone in a hotel room with the woman of his dreams.
You really think you can just walk away when you couldn’t even let her drive off the ranch without you?
Her head popped over the side of the b
ed and into his line of vision. Her blonde hair fell down to her chin as she gave him a rueful smile. “Are you sure you don’t want to come up here and share?”
He nodded. It would be hard enough to ignore the fact that he was sharing a room with Alice, but if they were to share the same bed?
No way could he survive.
Every minute of every day was spent trying to keep from pulling her into his arms. Every minute of every day was a struggle of will versus desire. It was a battle between what his heart wanted and what his brain knew to be right.
That battle would be torturous enough on the floor without his body having to enter into the battlefront. “I’m sure,” he said. “You need your sleep.”
“And what?” she propped her head on her hand. “You’ll toss and turn and keep me awake?”
“Something like that.” He shut his eyes and tried not to think about what he might do if he joined her up there.
He’d kiss her. There was no doubt in his mind that if he were to lie next to her all night long he would cave to temptation and kiss her the way he’d wanted to five years ago.
With everything he had.
“Do you snore?” she asked.
When he snapped his eyes open he saw her grinning down at him and his heart exploded.
Well, it probably didn’t honestly explode, but it sure as heck came close. His chest tightened painfully as his heart seemed to expand to fill every empty space. “What?”
Her smile broadened to that teasing, laughter-filled grin he knew and loved. “I said, do you snore?”
No. “I don’t know,” he said. “You’ll have to tell me.”
Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “What other secrets will I find out about you tonight?”
He smiled up at her. “What will I find out about you?” He narrowed his eyes. “Do you snore?”
She laughed and tossed a pillow down so it hit his face, making him laugh. He went to give it back to her but she waved it away. “You take the extra pillow, it’s the least I can do since you’re taking the floor.”
“You need your sleep,” he said. “You’re the one starting a new life in a new city.”
Promise Me Forever (Sweet Beginnings Book 3) Page 4
