She laughed a little harder. He was joking, and she knew it, but she did feel a bit of camaraderie with this guy. She suspected he understood more than most what had driven her out of Lulu and out into the great big world beyond.
“So, what are you going to do? Keep pining away for your rugged cowboy, or…” He arched his brows. “Move on?”
She narrowed her eyes teasingly. “You’re not asking me on a date, are you?”
He shook his head with a soft smile. “Nah. I figured out early on that you only had eyes for one guy.” He pretended to mutter to himself, “Crazy as that might be…”
She laughed at his teasing. It felt so good to laugh even if she knew this distraction would be short-lived. There was no denying that she’d be home alone soon enough, lying in bed and reliving that kiss, wondering what exactly he would have said if she hadn’t cut him off…
And then crying herself to sleep when all the likely words came rushing in.
It was best that she’d cut him off. Definitely better than hearing him tell her that he’d gotten carried away or that it didn’t mean anything.
She’d done the right thing, she told herself for the tenth time since lunch began.
“Your flight is tomorrow, right?” he asked.
She nodded.
“You looking forward to going home?”
She hesitated briefly before smiling. “Yeah, of course.”
“But…” he prompted.
She shrugged.
“But the cowboy will be there,” he guessed.
She nodded. “It’s not that I don’t want to see him, it’s just that…”
He lifted his fork as his brows arched. “It’s just that you don’t want to see him?”
Her laugh was rueful. “I wish it was that simple.”
He set the fork down. “Let me guess. You do want to see him...but you also don’t want to see him.”
She sank back in her seat. “I see you have some experience with unrequited love.”
He lifted a shoulder. “More like a bad breakup.”
“I’m sorry.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Me too.”
“Want to talk about it?” she asked.
He mulled that over as he ate. “Probably about as much as you want to talk about whatever it is that happened between you and the cowboy that has you so down.”
Her lips twitched with mirth. “Which is to say, not at all.”
He laughed. “Exactly.”
She lifted her water glass and clinked it to his. “To avoiding our problems.”
“I will definitely drink to that.”
He leaned forward after they toasted, his gaze meeting hers. “Enjoy the avoidance while you can, Alice. A word from someone who’s been there done that with his childhood sweetheart?”
She arched her brows in expectation.
“There’s no avoiding the inevitable once you’re back in your hometown.”
She sighed as she nodded. “Yeah, I know. But I won’t be there for long.”
Somehow those words didn’t make her feel better. She loved Twilight, she adored her brothers, there would never be a better town in the world than Lulu…
It was just James that she needed to get away from.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she reached for her food. Even that thought didn’t feel right.
He was her best friend. Nothing could change that, not even the fact that she was hopelessly in love with him and always would be.
Truth was, she suspected she was going to miss him most of all, even though there would be some relief in gaining distance. At least she might stand some chance of moving on if she wasn’t constantly reminded of how hot he was and how he made her feel.
Like she was understood. Like she was loved.
Like she was utterly perfect just the way she was.
She didn’t realize how loudly she sighed until Liam sighed as well to mimic her. She laughed at his teasing and picked up a fry, determined to focus on something other than James for at least one solid minute during this day. “So, do you think you’ll be able to convince Hannah to come back?”
He nodded. “No question. She loves her job.”
“And the press?”
“It’ll die down,” he said, with such confidence she actually believed him.
“Next week it’ll be someone else who gets jilted or cheated on or left at the altar…” He waved his fork in the air as his voice trailed off.
She stared at him in horror. “Is that what you think?”
“What?” He stared at her with wide eyes. “Too pessimistic?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Just a bit. Sounds to me like someone is jaded.”
He laughed. “Maybe just a bit.”
She leaned over the table. “Even when the tabloids lose interest, it’ll still take a long time for her to heal from that kind of heartbreak.”
He nodded, leaning forward as well so they were both resting on their elbows, sharing a look of mutual understanding. Maybe even commiseration.
“Here’s hoping she finds someone new,” Alice said.
He nodded. “It’s tough for someone like Hannah,” he said. “She’s never quite certain who she can trust or who wants to get close to her because of her fame and wealth.”
“Yeah, I can see how that would make it hard to trust.”
He leaned back with a sigh. “Hannah is tough, though. A sweetheart, but she’s brave through and through. She won’t let one rejection keep her down for long.”
Alice continued staring at Liam long after he went back to eating, clearly lost in his own thoughts.
Hannah would indeed be brave if she put herself back out there, let herself be open to love again.
Because being open to love also meant being open to heartache. Letting someone in meant they could break your heart.
Alice knew this firsthand.
His words nagged at her and she stopped trying to finish her meal when it was settling like a lead weight in her gut.
Or maybe that was shame. Regret. She toyed with the napkin in her lap. Was that what she’d done? Had she closed herself off? Hiding her heart away like a coward rather than face James and another potential rejection.
Yeah. That was exactly what she’d done.
The truth was a bitter pill. She’d taken the cowardly way out and avoided talking about that kiss. Avoided hearing whatever it was he had to say.
If he broke her heart again, she wasn’t sure she’d survive.
She set down her glass with a thud and straightened her spine. But that was the thing, wasn’t it?
She would survive.
She already had once, and she would again.
It would hurt. The pain would be excruciating.
But she would survive.
When Liam glanced up at her he froze, his hand hovering in mid-air as he watched her. “What’s with that look?”
“What look?”
“You look like you’re preparing to head into battle.” He arched a brow.
She thought of all the things she had to say to James. The way she knew she had to open up her heart again if she could ever face herself in the mirror. “You’re not too far off base, actually.”
“Huh. Well, I’ve got to admit, I wasn’t the biggest fan of your cowboy since he stole away my dream girl before I had a shot but right now…?” His eyes raked over her. “I almost feel sorry for the guy.”
Chapter Fourteen
James knew she’d be surprised. He just hoped she wasn’t too annoyed.
He had enough of an uphill battle before him without facing her anger over the fact that he’d told Dax to stay home so he could pick her up at the airport himself.
He tapped his fingers against his legs as he watched a few passengers come into the tiny regional airport. This was it. The day that would decide his future.
You know, not to put too much pressure on himself or anything.
He rehearsed what he�
��d say, what he’d do...but all that went right out of his head the moment he saw her.
Blonde hair, sparkling eyes, and a smile that wouldn’t quit…
Until she spotted him.
He watched it fade fast and his heart sank along with it. He took a deep breath. She was surprised, that was all. And there was no denying they had a mountain of luggage to unload between them.
Starting with him.
He strode toward her with a lopsided smile and was heartened when her initial look of shock faded and she gave him a small smile in return.
If she stiffened a bit when he pulled her in for a hug, she covered it quickly, wrapping her arms around him like she had a million times before.
She pulled back quickly though. “What are you doing here? I thought Dax—”
“I told him I wanted to pick you up.”
“Oh.” She looked adorably confused before she covered it with a smile. “Missed me already, huh?”
He grinned. “You know it.”
She filled the silence between them as he grabbed her suitcase and they went to the truck. She talked nonstop all the way into town, asking him about his drive back and barely waiting for the answer before hitting him with another question or filling him in on what he’d missed.
A lot of time spent with Liam, that was the gist of it.
He clenched his jaw as she told him about another restaurant Liam had taken her to and the tour she’d dragged him along on as she did all the touristy things in LA.
Without him.
His grip adjusted on the wheel. Who would have thought he’d actually be bummed that he’d missed out on doing tourist activities in a big city?
But the truth was, he’d do any sort of activity—he’d go on any adventure—just so long as it was with Alice.
“Where are we going?”
He smirked at the question. “I was wondering when you would notice.”
She arched her brows in question. “We’re not headed to the ranch?”
“Nope.” He glanced over to see her reaction. “Not right away, at least.”
“Oh.” She clasped her hands together in her lap and then unclasped them and then clasped them together once again.
She was nervous.
His own heart seemed to trip over itself at the realization. Was the fact that she was nervous a good sign? Or could she sense what was coming and wanted to avoid it?
Either way, his palms were sweaty by the time he parked down the street from the old inn downtown. His own nerves ratcheted up about twenty notches in response to hers.
“Um, why are we stopping?” she asked. “I figured we’d go straight back to the ranch.”
He glanced over at her. “Because you’re probably hungry.”
It wasn’t a question. She was always hungry.
She didn’t try to deny it.
“Come on.” He opened his door. “You’re no fun when you’re hungry.”
She snorted in amusement and opened her mouth—no doubt to protest—but he slammed his door shut behind him before going around to open her door.
Her brows were drawn together in confusion. “You’re opening my door for me now?”
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. His heart was racing away from him as he held out a hand to help her down.
“This is new,” she murmured as she took his hand and descended.
“I’m hoping this is just the start,” he said.
She peered up at him and he could see the questions there, but he turned toward the inn and steered her by the shoulders.
He had a plan, dang it. He’d see it through. There was no way he wanted to have this conversation back at the ranch where she’d be surrounded by her family. Alone time with Alice was a precious commodity at Twilight, and he had no doubt that if she wished to avoid him she’d have no problem doing so back at the ranch.
So he’d decided to bring her to their place. The restaurant where they’d shared countless meals, talked about every topic under the sun, and where Alice had first spilled her secret about wanting to move to the big city.
By the time they were seated, her expression was a mix of confusion and amusement, tempered by just enough wariness to give him pause.
But he’d come this far, and he was determined. Even if she turned him down, even if the worst happened and she broke it to him that she could never love him the way he loved her, he had to believe that they’d find a way to salvage their friendship.
So even if he failed and his heart was thoroughly broken, he wouldn’t lose everything. He wouldn’t lose her in his life.
He’d make sure of it.
“What’s going on, James?” she asked after the busboy brought their water. “You’re making me nervous.”
He cleared his throat but Amanda, their regular waitress, interrupted before he could start.
“What’ll you have?” she asked, her tone characteristically short.
“I’ll just have a pop,” he said. There was no way he could eat right now when his whole body was vibrating with nerves. “And she’ll have a sundae.”
Alice’s brows shot up. “She will?” she asked teasingly after Amanda walked away.
“You’re telling me you didn’t have your eye on the sundae that the server just brought by.”
“Of course I did,” she said.
The sundae came quickly and Alice dipped her spoon in, glancing up at him with a question in her eyes. “So...what’s this about? Are we celebrating?”
He drew in a deep breath. That remained to be seen. “I hope so.”
She took one bite. “Okay, you are being super cryptic and it’s weirding me out.”
“Sorry.” He toyed with the collar of his shirt as he leaned forward. “This is my first time so you’ll have to bear with me.”
Her eyes met his and he could have sworn he could feel the connection. The jolt of awareness that always seemed to flood through him every time their gazes met and held.
She felt it too. She had to.
He swallowed. Or else she didn’t and he was about to make a fool of himself.
She leaned in closer, her eyes alight with anticipation and...something else. Wariness. “First time doing what?”
He steeled his nerves and took a deep breath. His voice came out far calmer than he felt. “It’s my first time telling a woman I love her.”
Her eyes widened. Her spoon clattered against the table where she dropped it. “What?”
He held her gaze evenly. “I love you, Alice Deckland. I always have and I always will.”
Chapter Fifteen
“W-What?” The one word was all Alice was capable of.
She was losing her mind. Clearly that was what was happening here. Five years of heartache and longing had led to this—a total break with reality.
She blinked rapidly at her best friend who was still staring at her. Waiting for her to respond.
She’d thought he’d said…
It almost sounded like he’d said…
She pushed her chair back and gulped in air. Her heart was racing so quickly she could barely breathe. “Did you just say…”
“I love you.” His eyes were so warm. So filled with affection and tenderness and...fear.
“You love me.” She said it on a rush of air. “You…love me?”
She suddenly felt like she might suffocate, the stares of the people around them and the noises…
She had to get out. “I need air,” she thought she managed to mutter before fleeing the restaurant.
She saw James pull out his wallet and heard him saying something to their waitress as he followed behind her.
Once out on Main Street, she leaned back against the inn’s brick facade and tipped her head back to gulp air.
James stood beside her, watching her. “Maybe the restaurant was a bad choice.”
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Her heart was too busy trying to leap out of her chest and her head was still swimming with questions.
Finally, she lifted her head.
“What are you feeling?” He tucked his hands into his pockets, looking adorably sheepish. Heart achingly vulnerable.
What was she feeling?
She gaped at him. She couldn’t have sifted through all the jumbled emotions coursing through her if she’d tried. Elation was being drowned out by confusion which was being trodden all over by...anger.
Anger inexplicably won out. “You love me?” She moved toward him with new energy.
Anger she could do. She clung to this sensation as five years’ worth of it simmered to the surface. “If you love me then why did you push me away?”
He winced. “Alice, I—”
“No. I want to know,” she said. “When did you realize you love me because I’ve been in love with you for five years and you—you—” To her horror, tears choked her, the anger overridden by pain before she could even finish a thought.
His features tightened and he muttered a curse under his breath before reaching for her and tugging her into his arms, crushing her to him like he could hold her together through sheer force of his strength.
Her arms were pinned to his chest and she found herself clutching his shirt, absorbing his heat, reveling in his familiar scent and the feel of his lean body wrapped around hers.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low and right next to her ear. “I’m so sorry, Alice. I knew I loved you back then...heck, sometimes I think I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you, Alice. Always.”
“Then why…” Her voice was shaky but she pushed against his chest hard enough that she could look up into his eyes. “Why did you push me away?”
“Because I thought you deserved better,” he said.
Deserved. She frowned. There was that word again. “There is no one better.”
He ignored that. “I thought I’d hold you back. I thought it was just a crush for you and that you would move on—”
“It wasn’t,” she said. “I didn’t.”
His gaze held hers and for a long moment she felt like she was drowning in his stare.
“I love you,” she whispered.
The relief and the joy that crossed his features nearly broke her heart all over again because in that moment she knew. She understood.
Promise Me Forever (Sweet Beginnings Book 3) Page 11
