by Jeff McDargh
Beware of Dog
By Jeff McDargh
Copyright 2015 Jeff McDargh
My name is Samuel Crain.
Let's go back to before the newspapers, the court hearing and the media frenzy.
Back to before the prison jump suits and three squares a day.
Back to when my life was normal. Back to before the dog.
The fucking dog!
Sorry but it all started with the fucking dog.
My day started off like any other day, it was a Monday, nothing special about it.
A Monday just like the Monday before it and the one before that.
I got up, took a shower, kissed the wife, had a cup of coffee, said goodbye to the kids as they left for school and I headed off to work.
As I walked to the car my next door neighbor called out.
"Sammy! What's shaking brother?"
Fuck every morning, it was my neighbor Tim.
Tim wasn't a bad guy just annoying. You know, one of those guys that just always seemed to be around. He was about twenty five and as far as I can tell never had a job or not one that I'd ever know him to go to.
As far as I could tell all he did all day was play with that dog that was busy romping around in circles around Tim's legs.
Now the dog on the other hand annoyed the shit out of me or more to the point the piles of shit he left on my lawn annoyed me.
"Hay Tim."
"So off to work huh?"
"Yeah Tim I'm off to work." Yeah off to work, you should try it I thought but bit my Tung.
"Hay Tim maybe while I'm at work you could take care of that." I pointed to the fresh little pile sitting at the edge of my lawn.
"Whoa man that wasn't Tinker Bell man."
"Tinker Bell?"
"Yeah man like I told you last week it ain't her man."
"Tim..." I didn't get to finish what I was going to say before my phone rang, it was my boss.
I turned and left Tim and my unfinished statement behind and headed for the car.
Before I closed the door, I could hear Tim's voice.
"Later man."
I push my annoyance aside and concentrated on my call and the drive to work.
The second I pulled up in my driveway that night it was back.
It had been a long day and I'd gotten home late. As I pulled into the driveway my headlights swept across the lawn and I saw it, still sitting there on the grass.
"That fucker." I grumbled to myself as got out of the car.
I walked across the yard to the spot. It had killed the grass.
"God damn it, that dick head."
"Are you going to come inside or stand out in the yard all night?" The chipper voice asked from the open doorway of the house.
I let out a resigned sigh and with it some of my anger.
"Yeah I'm coming babe."
Jenny, my wife, always did have that effect on me. She could make all the days stress drift away.
"You know if you're going to start standing in the front yard cussing at the grass the neighbors are going to think you're crazy and call the cops, right?" Jenny said with a smile.
"Oh you're funny." I said, smiling as I followed her into the house.
"I know." She said as she turned and kissed me.
"So who's a dick head?"
"Our neighbor is the dick head."
"Tim?"
"Yeah, Tim." I said with as much disdain as I could.
"What's wrong with him?" She said smiling and kissing me again.
"Other than the fact he's a dick head?"
"Yes, other than the fact he's a dick head."
"He doesn't have a job."
"Yes he does."
"How can that guy have a job? He never leaves the house."
"He works from home."
"Is selling drugs from your house considered working from home now?" I asked a little more playful, the wind in my sails of anger deflating.
"Come on grouchy I'll get you some dinner." Jenny said, kissing me and heading towards the kitchen.
