by Marie Force
“So do you think about it?” Luke asked.
“I have. At times. I just can’t imagine what a freak show I’d be, worried all the time that something would happen again.”
“It wouldn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Do you know anyone, anyone in your whole life, who’s had what happened to you happen to them?”
“No,” she said softly. “I can’t say I do.”
“Neither do I. You’re all done with epic tragedy. Now you get to live in peace, knowing the worst that life has to offer is behind you.”
She hadn’t thought of it that way before and had to admit the idea brought comfort. “I sure hope you’re right.”
“Want to take the boat out on the pond?”
Startled by the sudden change in conversation, she looked up at him. “Now? It’s getting late.”
“Perfect for stargazing.”
She remembered how he knew every constellation and the story behind each one.
“We can do it another time,” he said.
Sydney decided she wasn’t ready to go home. Not yet. “Now is fine.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded, and they turned back the way they’d come. With the light of a half-moon guiding them, they climbed the stairs and crossed the yard to the path that led to the pond and Luke’s old rowboat. He helped her in and got her settled before he lifted Buddy into the bow. Pushing the boat off the sand, Luke hopped in and reached for the oars.
Sydney let her head fall back as she studied the sky above and enjoyed the smooth glide of the old wooden boat through the flat-calm water. She brought her eyes down from the heavens to study the play of muscles visible through Luke’s T-shirt as he rowed.
“I love it out here at night,” he said after a long period of comfortable silence. “It’s so busy all day, but then the sun goes down and it becomes the calmest place on the island.”
“That’s because all the boaters are in the bars.”
He chuckled. “True. Ready for some stargazing?”
“Whenever you are.”
Luke let the oars go idle and arranged two cushions on the floor of the boat. He guided her to sit between his legs, resting against his chest with his arms around her. “Comfortable?”
“Very.” And yet so uncomfortable, too.
“Let’s see what you remember.” He pointed to a constellation.
She tipped her head back to use his shoulder as a pillow. “Orion.”
“Good,” he said, trailing a finger over her neck. “How about that one?”
Sydney swallowed hard as his touch sent goose bumps cascading down her arms and legs. “Big Dipper.”
“A-plus.”
Sydney laughed, even though he was making her crazy with what he was doing to her neck with just the tip of his finger against her skin. “Those are the easy ones.”
“All right then, how about that one?”
“Cassiopeia.”
“I’m impressed.”
Sydney turned her head so she could see him. “I had a good teacher.” She reached up to touch his face, which was warm and smooth. “You shaved.”
“Huh?”
“After work. You shaved.”
“Yeah, so?”
“You always shaved in the morning.”
“Still do, most of the time.”
“Why the change in routine?”
“Because,” he said, nuzzling her cheek, “if I was lucky enough to get this close to you tonight, I didn’t want to burn your soft skin.”
“Oh,” she said, breathless as his lips found the sensitive spot just below her ear. “That was nice of you.”
“You smell so good. Just like I remember.”
Sydney tilted her head to give him better access to her neck.
His arms tightened around her, bringing her even closer to him.
She reached back to bring his mouth down on hers.
The night before, on the deck of the Beachcomber, he’d been all about restraint. Tonight, he devoured.
Sydney twisted in his arms, needing to get closer, and the boat took an unsteady dip.
“Whoa,” Luke said, laughing.
Buddy whined from his post in the front, and Sydney couldn’t believe she’d forgotten where they were.
Luke shifted to steady them and brought her into direct contact with his erection. “Sorry,” he muttered.
Sydney wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him, drawing a deep groan from him.
“What do you say we take this somewhere more comfortable?”
“Yes,” she said, still breathless from the passionate kiss. “Please.” When she started to return to her seat, he stopped her.
“Stay,” he said. “Right here.” He arranged her so he could keep her close but still row.
The movement of the boat, the play of his body wrapped around hers as he rowed and the feel of his lips on her neck combined to make her burn for him. She rested her hand on his leg. Almost as if it had a mind of its own, her hand traveled from his calf to his knee, relearning him as it went.
“We’ll be going in circles if you keep that up,” he said gruffly.
She withdrew her hand. “Oh.”
“That wasn’t a complaint.”
Sydney smiled at the restraint she heard in his tone. Being with him like this reminded her of those long-ago summers when she’d had not a care in the world beyond finding a way to spend as much time with him as she possibly could. The carefree feeling was a welcome change from her reality of late.
The moment the boat bottom scraped against the shore, Buddy bolted.
“He doesn’t have his sea legs,” Sydney said, taking the hand Luke offered and stepping out of the boat.
“Yet.” He tightened his grip on her hand and tugged her into his arms for another of those drugging kisses that stole her breath and left her weak in the knees.
As much as it pained her to admit, no other man had ever made her weak in the knees. Only Luke. Sydney reached up for a handful of soft dark hair as her tongue tangled with his.
He tore his lips free, grabbed her hand and headed for the path. And then they were running, laughing, breathless. Sydney slid on the dew that had collected on the grass and stumbled. He caught her and twisted to cushion her fall. They landed in a hard thump with her on top of him, encased in strong arms.
“Are you okay?” she asked, still breathing hard.
His fingers tunneled into her hair, drawing her into another kiss. “Better than I’ve been in seventeen years.”
“Luke...”
“Kiss me, Syd.”
Right there on the lawn under the moon they made out like the teenagers they’d once been, but with the wisdom of knowing how precarious life and love and desire could be.
Even though she burned for him, he did nothing more than kiss her and hold her and whisper sweet words in her ear that sent more goose bumps to her arms and legs and everywhere in between.
He kissed her as if he’d never get enough, and then he shifted them so she was under him. His kiss slowed from wild and unrestrained to gentle and sweet, which was no less powerful. Sprinkling kisses on her face, eyelids, nose and lips, he looked down at her. “This wasn’t what I was thinking when I suggested something more comfortable.”
She caressed the cheek he’d made smooth for her. “Works for me.”
“Mmm,” he said against her lips. “Me too.”
“I should probably go home,” she said many minutes later.
“Probably,” he said but made no move to let her up.
Feeling brazen and full of her own power, Sydney slid her hands under his T-shirt and stroked the warm, soft skin on his back.
He trembled and pushed his erection into the V of her legs. “I told myself I shouldn’t rush you,” he said, his lips light against her neck, “that we should go slow and take our time, but God, Syd, I want you. I’ve never stopped wanting you.”
“I
want you, too. I hope you know that. I just... I don’t think...”
He kissed her gently, a light touch of his lips to hers. “You’re not ready.”
She shook her head. “I’m sor—”
“Don’t apologize. Please don’t.” More soft, sweet kisses. “We’ve got the rest of the summer.”
Sydney closed her eyes, content for the first time since her life had been shattered, content to let him surround her with his warmth, his comfort, his overwhelming appeal and yes, his love. She had no doubt he still loved her. It was in every look, every touch, every kiss.
“I’m going home after Labor Day,” she reminded him.
“I know.” He trailed kisses from her collarbone to her ear. “Tomorrow night,” he said, “we’ll go out to dinner.”
Chapter 7
The phone woke Sydney the next morning, and she was startled to see it was after nine. Clearing her throat, she reached for the bedside extension.
“Do not tell me you’re still asleep when I’ve already been up for three hours,” Maddie said.
“Okay, I won’t. I can’t remember the last time I slept past eight.”
“Were you out late last night?”
Sydney smiled, remembering the evening she’d spent with Luke. “Maybe.”
“Get your butt out of bed and get over here for some coffee and muffins right out of the oven.”
“Can’t say no to that.”
Maddie rattled off directions to her new home. “Hurry! I want every detail.”
Sydney got up to let Buddy out. She debated a quick shower but decided to wait until later. Before her date. With Luke. A flutter of anticipation had her placing a hand over her belly. Last night had been amazing, and she couldn’t wait to see him again later.
Buddy rode with his head out the window on the way to Maddie’s house and once again bounded out of the car ahead of her when they arrived. Sydney wondered if he, too, was starting to recover a bit from his terrible grief.
Maddie waited for them on a deck she’d decorated with comfortable outdoor furniture and pots full of bright, fragrant blooms.
“This is some spot you’ve got here,” Sydney said, admiring the rolling meadow that led to the water in the distance.
“We got married right there,” Maddie said, pointing to the yard.
“I bet it was beautiful.”
“It was. I’ll show you the pictures.” She gestured for Sydney to follow her into the spacious contemporary that was scattered with the toys of a busy little boy.
The two women stopped short when they found Maddie’s son, Thomas, hugging Buddy, who was making noises Sydney had never heard before. She rushed over to him. “Buddy? What is it, sweet boy?”
Maddie scooped up Thomas.
“He sad,” the boy said, a solemn expression on his cherubic face.
“Are you sad?” Sydney asked as tears filled her eyes. “Does Thomas remind you of Max?” She wouldn’t have expected the blond, blue-eyed toddler to remind the dog of Max, who’d been much older than Thomas when Buddy arrived in their lives. Not to mention her son had had his father’s dark hair and eyes. Maybe it was just because Thomas was a smaller person, like the boy Buddy had loved and lost.
Sydney hugged the wailing dog until he eventually settled. Looking up at Maddie, she said, “I’m sorry. He’s never done anything like this before.”
“Please don’t apologize,” Maddie said, subtly brushing at a tear.
Thomas wiggled free of his mother’s embrace and toddled over to pet Buddy.
The dog licked and sniffed the boy, who stayed patient and still while Buddy investigated him.
“Thank you for making friends with Buddy, Thomas,” Sydney said when she could speak over the giant lump that had formed in her throat.
Maddie knelt next to Thomas. “This is Mommy’s friend Syd. Can you say hi?”
“Hi, Syd,” Thomas said.
“I hope you don’t mind first names,” Maddie said. “I don’t stand on formality with him.”
“I didn’t with my kids, either.”
“They should be okay,” Maddie said of Thomas and Buddy, who were bonding over Thomas’s squeaky toys. “Let’s have some coffee.”
Still rattled by Buddy’s reaction to Thomas, Sydney patted Buddy’s head and kissed his nose. “Be a good boy.”
“Good boy,” Thomas said in the serious tone that made Sydney smile.
“He’s adorable,” she said to Maddie as she stirred cream into her coffee. The house boasted a wide-open floor plan that allowed them to sit in the kitchen but still keep an eye on Thomas and his new friend.
“Thank you. Sometime you have to see the way he flips out when Mac gets home. It’s hysterical. The two of them are joined at the hip.”
“Is there anything sexier than a man who loves another man’s child the way he would his own?”
“Not that I can think of. He’s been amazing with Thomas since day one. Until he met us, he’d never changed a diaper in his life. Now he can do it in his sleep—literally.”
Sydney smiled at the picture she painted. “Your home is beautiful. I’m so happy for you, Maddie.”
“Sometimes I want to pinch myself to believe it all really happened.”
“Are you still working?”
“Four days a week. I’d do more, especially this time of year, but Mac wants me to take it easy. He’s telling everyone this is a high-risk pregnancy.”
Alarmed, Sydney said, “Is it?”
“No! He’s being ridiculous.”
Sydney cracked up. “Sorry, but that’s funny.”
“Do me a favor and don’t tell him that. He’s already out of control.” Maddie placed a plate of warm muffins on the counter. “So, how was last night?”
“It was great. Being with Luke is...”
“What?”
“Comfortable, and yet I’m very uncomfortable, too.”
Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
“Mmm. It’s still very hot between us. Like it always was.”
“And that’s bad how?”
Sydney cut a blueberry muffin in half. “It’s not bad. It’s just, you know, I feel kind of guilty.”
“Because of Seth.”
Sydney nodded and took a moment to get herself together when her throat closed. “I loved him,” she said in a near whisper. “I hope you believe me when I say that.”
“Of course you did. You married him, had children and a life with him.”
“It was a good life. I was happy with him. But it was different between us than with Luke.”
“What was different? You’ve lost me.”
Sydney felt her face heat with embarrassment. “Sex.”
“How so?”
“It was sweet and nice with Seth, but with Luke... it was wild and kind of earth-shattering. I don’t know if it would still be that way, but it was back then.” Sydney released a long, deep breath. “I sound like a horrible person even saying that.”
“No, you don’t. You would’ve been a horrible person if you’d continued to sleep with Luke after you were married. That’s what horrible people do.”
Sydney smiled. Leave it to Maddie to cut to the chase. “I used to think my feelings for Luke took on such mythic proportions because everything about our relationship was new and exciting and a bit forbidden.”
“And now?”
“I’m not so sure it was any of those things. Seeing him again, I’ve begun to realize it was us. That what we had was that special thing they write about, but I was too young and stupid to know it at the time.”
Maddie reached across the counter to squeeze Sydney’s hand. “Oh, Syd.”
“I walked away from him like he meant nothing to me. How could I have done that to him, Maddie? It ruined him. I ruined him.”
“If he wasn’t capable of getting past that, I doubt he would’ve been looking at you the other night like he wanted to take you home and keep you in bed for the next year.”
S
ydney’s face heated. “He was not.”
“Was too.” Maddie refilled their coffee and glanced at Thomas, who was reclined against Buddy, sucking his thumb. “Did he kiss you last night?”
Sydney popped a bite of muffin into her mouth. “Maybe.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Well, somehow we ended up rolling around on his lawn.”
“Shut up!”
“You asked.”
“Sydney, listen to me. Are you listening?”
She nodded.
“He’s moved past what happened before. If he hadn’t, if he really hadn’t, he wouldn’t have invited you into his home and he certainly wouldn’t have been rolling around on his lawn with you.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Positive. You’re the one who needs to get past what happened before. And don’t waste your time comparing him to Seth. That’s not fair to either of them, and it won’t change anything. You did what was best for you at the time. There’s no sense rehashing history.”
“I know you’re right.”
“I remember when you left that last summer you were here. You were concerned about whether you and Luke wanted the same things out of life. He’d given up his scholarship and was content to stay here. He was never going to set the world on fire with ambition or make a lot of money. Those things were very much on your mind then.”
“I was focused on all the wrong things. Maybe he never set the world on fire, but he sure did set me on fire. Still does.”
“That’s so exciting.”
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s the comfort. Am I attracted to him—again—because it’s comfortable? Because I know he won’t crush me? Or is it more than that?”
“You thought about him for seventeen years. That has to count for something.”
“True.”
“Don’t overanalyze it. Just enjoy it. After all you’ve been through, you deserve some joy. If being with Luke brings you joy, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Being with Luke had always brought her joy.
“You’ve got plenty of time to figure it out.”
“I have to be back by September fifth,” Sydney said, her blood going cold at the thought. “Sentencing for the guy who hit us.”
