by Marie Force
“I do.”
Smiling, he kissed her again before he released her, leaving her bereft without the heat of his body pressed up against hers. He was headed for the door when he turned back to kiss her one more time, lingering long enough to draw more tears. “This time, I’ve really got to go.”
“This time, I’ve really got to let you.”
“Something this great? It has to work out. Don’t worry, okay?”
“I’ll try not to.”
When the door clicked shut behind him, Erin fell back against the pillows and gave in to a good cry. This was crazy! She was a mature woman crying over a man! But he wasn’t just any man, and he’d swung into town unexpectedly and rocked her world in more ways than one.
“I seem to have fallen completely and absolutely in love with you at some point in the last four months.”
Why didn’t I tell him that I’ve fallen, too? I should’ve told him. Erin covered her face with her hands, desperately trying to regain her equilibrium. After a long pity party, she got up, showered and left the room where they’d created so many precious memories.
Her heart ached that day and every day that followed as she went through the motions of supporting her parents and writing her column whenever she could steal a quiet moment.
Despite frequent texts, calls and FaceTime chats with Slim, she couldn’t seem to shake the malaise that began that morning in the hotel room and stayed with her over the next week, prompting her mom to ask more than once what was wrong.
She couldn’t say, exactly. But for some reason, she felt like she was fighting against a rip current, trying to figure out where she belonged now that her life had been irreparably altered by a handsome, sexy, wonderful man who wanted everything from her.
Could she do it? Could she hand over her heart to him and hope that nothing would ever happen to crush her again the way she’d been crushed once before? In a middle-of-the-night moment of clarity more than a week after she’d last seen him, Erin finally understood why she couldn’t shake the disquiet.
It was because she was on the verge of possibly taking the biggest risk she’d taken since losing her brother, and the fear of the many ways it could go wrong had her paralyzed with indecision. She didn’t have the slightest doubt that Slim was sincere in his feelings and his intentions. He was a good and honorable man who would treat her like a queen. He wasn’t the problem. She was.
Could she turn over control of her heart, her life, her love to someone who had the power to devastate her? What if something happened to him, too? How would she ever endure that kind of loss a second time? Wouldn’t it be easier—and safer—to stay single and unencumbered, to never risk more than she could afford to lose?
These were the questions that kept her awake at night as she tried to find the courage she would need to take the enormous step he was asking her to make. The woman she’d once been, before life and tragedy changed her, would’ve been all in. She would’ve run to Slim with her arms and heart wide open to the possibilities. She would’ve embraced the joy and given no thought whatsoever to the fear of what might happen.
Post-9/11 Erin had learned to be wary, cautious and obsessive about the safety of those she loved. Would her obsessiveness smother a man like Slim, who was used to doing his own thing without anyone to answer to?
She went through her days and nights exhausted and overwhelmed by the debate that raged within her as she supported her parents, talked to Slim and texted with her Gansett friends, who checked in regularly as she tried to figure out her next move.
Her dad had been released from the hospital three days after Slim’s visit and was receiving at-home physical and occupational therapy as he continued to recover quickly.
“There’s really no need for you to stick around here if you’ve got better things to do,” Tom said to her over breakfast on a Friday morning, ten days after Slim went home to Florida.
“I don’t mind staying awhile longer to keep you guys company.”
“Or you could get on a plane tonight and go see the guy you’re thinking about constantly.”
Erin stared at her dad, her mouth agape from his unusually blunt statement.
“Are you denying that you’re thinking constantly about him?”
She tried not to squirm under his intense stare. “No.”
Tom struggled to butter his own toast, but Erin knew he wanted to do it himself, so she refrained from helping him. “You ought to do something about that.”
“I agree, honey,” Mary Beth said. “You haven’t been yourself since he left, and we just want you to be happy. He makes you happy.”
Yes, he certainly did. He made her happier than she’d ever dreamed of being, and she wanted nothing more than to grab on to that feeling with both hands and never let it go. But what if… No. No. No. She simply couldn’t bear the merry-go-round of thoughts her brain was torturing her with any longer. She was about to snap from the unending debate.
The doorbell rang, giving her a temporary reprieve. “I’ll get it.” She opened the front door to a FedEx delivery guy who handed over a letter-size package and asked her to sign for it.
“Have a good day,” he said.
“Thanks, you, too.” Her heart took a happy leap when she saw Slim’s name on the return address portion of the label and his address in West Palm Beach. It was the first time she’d seen his masculine handwriting. She tore into the envelope that had a big lump in the middle of it that turned out to be a CD case. The envelope also contained a white sheet of paper and a second sealed envelope.
The note said: Dear Erin, listen to the song on the CD and then open the other envelope. Love, Slim.
“Who was at the door, honey?” Mary Beth called from the kitchen.
“FedEx for me. I’ll be right back.” She ran into her dad’s study and fumbled her way through putting the CD into the drive on his computer. Erin recognized the song immediately—it was the hit single “Please” by the young winner of The Voice, Sawyer Fredericks. She’d loved watching him perform on the show and adored the song that had all new meaning to her in light of the man who’d asked her to listen to it, especially because he knew she loved it.
She wept as she listened to the song that perfectly summed up their current situation and her yearning for him. And then she opened the second envelope.
You did it once; you can do it again; and no one is ever afraid to fly in first class; it’s a rule. There's nothing I'd love more; than to have you in Anguilla with me; for my buddy’s wedding; PLEASE come; and make me the happiest guy; who ever lived.
Erin laughed and cried as she read his sweet note and found a first-class ticket from Philadelphia to Anguilla for next Thursday in the envelope. The words, the song, the semicolons, the ticket, the plea… All of it added up to make the decision she’d been wrestling with seem rather foolish in light of what she felt for him.
When her phone chimed with a text, she pulled it from her pocket, not surprised to see it was from him. Of course he’d been tracking the package and knew exactly when it had been delivered.
Well...
You ruined it with the semicolons. ;-)
The semicolon is for unfinished thoughts; we are unfinished; I thought it fitting in this one instance; I promise to never insult you with a ; again if you come finish what we started…
You’re amazing. Thank you for this.
You know the part where Sawyer says he’s down on his knees? That’s me right now. Oh, and where he says he was born to kiss your mouth? That’s me, too.
You’ve got me in tears. Was that your goal?
Is that a yes?!?!!!! Note enthusiastic use of exclamation marks!!!
Laughing, she held her phone in her hand, staring down at the screen, hovering on the verge of putting her fears behind her and grabbing on to what she wanted more than she’d wanted anything in fifteen long, torturous years.
She texted one word: Yes. And just that simply, the cloud of disquiet lifted, and the giddy, breath
less anticipation came rushing back. How would she survive until Thursday?
Owen invited his mom, Charlie, Katie and Shane to their place for a dinner he and Laura prepared together. He’d taken a couple of days to process what his father had told him, and was ready now to share it with his mom and Katie to begin with and then his other siblings.
While Laura changed Holden into pajamas, he stirred the marinara they’d made from scratch. The activity had helped to keep him busy and focused on the meal rather than what he had to tell his guests.
Laura held Holden’s hand as he toddled from his bedroom to the kitchen.
“Look at my big boy walking like a grown man,” Owen said, scooping him up to place kisses on his neck that resulted in the belly laugh they loved so much.
“Dadadada.”
Owen closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet baby scent of the boy he adored, determined to take this last step to put the past behind him so he could focus entirely on the family he and Laura were creating together.
“I need to get him down before they arrive, or he’ll never go to bed,” Laura said.
Holden had spent the afternoon with Uncle Shane and Aunt Katie and was rubbing at his eyes with tight little fists.
“I’ll take him in.” Any day now, she would have to stop picking up Holden until after the babies were born. Owen settled him in the crib with his blanket, which Holden immediately kicked off. Laughing, Owen covered him again, and Holden kicked it off. “Mommy, someone is misbehaving.”
“Holden, is Daddy being naughty?”
“Gagagaga Dadada.”
“I knew it.” Laura resettled him, turned on the mobile that took his attention off the blanket and swept her fingers through the baby’s downy hair one more time before leaving him to sleep.
“Mommy is good at that,” Owen whispered outside the bedroom door.
“Daddy is good at winding him up at bedtime, which won’t be quite so funny when there’re three of them.”
Owen waggled his brows at her. “Daddy loves when Mommy chastises him.”
Smiling up at him, Laura cupped his cheek and caressed him with her thumb. “You seem good.”
“I feel good, ready to get this over with and start packing for the trip.”
“I’ll be right there with you if it gets hard.”
“That’s the only thing that’s gotten me through this latest crisis.” He dropped his forehead to rest against hers. “You’ve got to be so tired of my family issues by now.”
“Not at all. It’s a small price to pay to get to be married to you.”
“Thank you, baby.”
A soft knock on the door indicated their guests had arrived.
“Ready?” she asked.
“Let’s do it.” He went to admit his mom, Charlie, Katie and Shane, who spoke in whispers because they knew Holden had just gone to bed and would put up a fuss if he heard them. They stayed quiet through dinner, after which Laura checked on Holden and said it was safe to speak normally.
“Thank you for the lovely dinner,” Sarah said, refilling her wineglass. She had a serenity about her these days that was hard to miss, and Owen couldn’t wait to let her know that she’d soon be free to marry the man she loved.
“You’re welcome.” He glanced at Laura, who reached for his hand and gave it a subtle squeeze under the table, fortifying him to take the next step. “So there was a reason other than dinner that I wanted to get together tonight.”
“Well,” Katie said, “we know you’re not going to tell us you’re pregnant.”
Their laughter diffused the last of Owen’s nerves. “Very funny. Actually, I wanted to tell you I heard from Dad.”
Stunned silence greeted his statement. Owen went on to tell them about the remarkable conversation he’d had with Mark. As he spoke, Sarah raised her hand to her heart, and Charlie put his arm around her. Katie stared bleakly at the far wall while Shane moved his chair closer to hers. Such was the Mark Lawry effect on his family members.
“He’s full of shit,” Katie said fiercely. “He realized he’s all alone in the world, and this is what he’s doing about it.”
“I don’t think so, sis,” Owen said, knowing his opinion would matter to her and the others. “I think it’s the truth. If you could’ve heard him… He was different than he’s ever been with me. Still gruff and domineering, but contrite, too. And what he said about me and the boys getting help if we ever feel that way toward our wives and children… It felt like genuine parental concern to me.”
Katie crossed her arms, her face set in a mulish expression that told Owen she might not come around right away. That was okay. It had taken him a couple of days to wrap his mind around it. He turned his attention to his mother, who seemed as stunned as Owen had felt upon hearing his father’s story.
“I always wondered,” Sarah said softly, “how a boy grows up to be that kind of man. He never spoke of his childhood. After the funeral, we never spoke of his father again.”
“He said that was the first time he hit you,” Owen said.
Her hand covered her left cheek. “Yes. I said something about feeling sorry for his father dying the way he had, and he slapped me across the face, saying his father was exactly where he belonged, in hell with the devil, and I was never to mention that son of a bitch’s name again. I never did.”
Next to her, Owen noticed Charlie wrestling with his emotions. It was hard for him to hear about the abuse she’d withstood at the hands of her husband.
“The divorce papers should be landing on Dan Torrington’s desk any day now,” Owen said, sharing the good news now that the harder part was out of the way.
“What?” Sarah asked, wide-eyed.
“He told me if I took his call, he’d give you the divorce. He promised he’d sign the divorce papers and mail them the day I talked to him, which means you should get them soon.”
“Oh, Owen,” Sarah said as she put it all together. “He convinced you to take his call by telling you he’d sign the papers if you did?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does! How can you say that doesn’t matter?”
“Because it doesn’t. Not anymore. You’re getting what you wanted, and we’ll all have some closure.”
“At what cost to you?” his mother asked tearfully.
“I’m okay, Mom. I swear. I’m fine. Ask Laura.”
His wife nodded in agreement. “He was thrown for a loop at first and anxious about telling the rest of you, but he’s good now.”
Sarah sat back in her chair, seeming stunned by the turn of events. “He signed the papers.”
Owen smiled at her. “He signed the papers.”
Sarah began to laugh and cry at the same time.
Charlie hauled her into his arms, kissing her square on the mouth right in front of her children and their partners.
Even Katie smiled at Charlie’s rare loss of control. She leaned on Shane, her expression softer now that she’d had a few minutes to process what she’d heard.
“We can get married,” Charlie said in a gruff whisper.
“We can get married,” Sarah replied, staring into his steel-blue eyes.
Owen glanced at Laura, who dabbed at her eyes. They shared a smile, full of love and relief and optimism for the future now that the past was where it belonged once and for all.
Chapter 27
Sunday night, Big Mac McCarthy called his family together for a meeting to go over the final plans for their trip to Anguilla in the morning. He’d taken great pleasure in planning every detail of the trip on behalf of his kids, their families, his brothers, niece and nephews. How often would an opportunity like this come along now that all the kids were grown and had families and lives of their own? Big Mac wanted it to be perfect for them, especially Evan, who’d arrived at the powwow without his fiancée.
“Where’s Grace?” Big Mac asked his son, who’d been smiling from ear to ear for the last week as they counted down to his big day.
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“She’s running late at work, but she’ll be here. Today’s her last day at the pharmacy for a while, and she’s turning everything over to Fiona.”
“You two have so much to look forward to,” Big Mac said, embracing his fourth son.
Evan returned the hug. “Yes, we do.”
“Love you, son. I’m so proud of you and Grace, and I can’t wait to see you two tie the knot.”
“I can’t wait either, and thank you for all you did to get everyone there.”
“It was a pleasure.”
Linda came over to greet Evan with a hug, a kiss and a beer that he gratefully accepted.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She patted his face. “One last time—mother of the groom. I can’t wait.”
“Me either. I’m so ready.”
“That’s because you got it just right.”
“I certainly did.”
“We can’t wait to officially welcome Grace to our family.”
Evan blew out a deep breath as he battled his emotions. “I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow. Been a long time coming.”
The others began to arrive in waves—Joe, Janey and PJ, Mac, Maddie, Thomas and Hailey, Stephanie and Grant, Ned and Francine, Tiffany, Blaine and Ashleigh, Kevin and Chelsea, who’d decided to accept Kevin’s invitation, Riley, Finn, Shane and Katie, Owen, Laura and Holden, Mallory, Frank and Betsy, and finally, Adam and Abby, who were still tanned from the honeymoon cruise Adam had surprised her with.
“Now that the gang’s all here,” Big Mac said, calling the meeting to order the way he did town council meetings, “let’s go over the itinerary.”
“Where’s Grace?” Stephanie asked as she and the others devoured the pizza he’d bought for them at Mario’s.
“She’ll be here,” Evan said, eyeing the front door. “Any minute now.”
“Joseph,” Big Mac said to his son-in-law, “you’ve got the ferry tickets.”
“Yes, sir.” Joe made a production of handing out tickets to everyone.
“You’ll note the time on that ticket is zero eight hundred,” Big Mac said sternly.
