by Marie Force
Resolved to be strong for him and to fight for them, she took the water to the living room, handed him a glass and sat next to him on the sofa.
Her phone chimed with a text that she saw was from Mac.
Are you coming to the bonfire? Syd thought you might.
I can’t make it tonight. Tell her I’m sorry to miss it.
Everything all right?
Quinn had an accident, but he’s fine. Will check in with you tomorrow.
Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you need anything.
I will. Thanks.
“Are you supposed to be somewhere?” he asked. “You don’t have to babysit me if you’ve got stuff to do.”
“I don’t have anything to do.”
“But you had plans?”
“We were both invited to a bonfire at the Harrises’.”
“I’m sorry you had to miss it.”
“I’m sorry you got hurt.”
“Again.”
Mallory shrugged. “Shit happens.”
He took a drink of his water and put the glass on the table. “This is the Summer of Mallory. You don’t need to be taking care of an invalid.”
She snorted out a laugh.
“You think this is funny?”
“Only the part about you being an invalid. Clearly, you don’t have much experience with invalids if you think you are one.”
“You know what I mean!”
“I know that you’ve had two recent setbacks that have you thinking this is how the rest of your life is going to unfold, and surely no reasonable woman would want to be part of that.”
He stared at her, seeming taken aback that she’d zeroed in on the heart of the matter so quickly.
“What happened to you, in both cases, were freak accidents that could’ve happened to anyone. Does it occur to you that if you’d never lost your leg, you might still have stepped in that hole in the dark and maybe torn your ACL or MCL and needed surgery to fix it? The prosthetic probably saved you from a more serious injury, and yes, a week on crutches was a drag, but it wasn’t the end of the world as we know it. In fact, that week gave you a good excuse to stay here with me, and if I’m not mistaken, that week was pretty great. Or maybe I was the only one who thought so.”
“You weren’t the only one.”
“Then why are you pushing me away rather than pulling me closer when you need me?”
With his jaw set in the now-familiar mulish expression, he glanced down at his hands, which were flat against his thighs. He looked as if he wished he could get the hell out of there but knew that wasn’t possible. “I’m not good at needing anyone.”
“No kidding. Really?”
His gaze shifted toward her. “Are you laughing at me again?”
“Maybe just a little.”
“That’s not nice,” he said with a glint of humor in his eyes that she eagerly welcomed. “I’m an injured veteran trying to navigate life post-injury and fucking it up every which way.”
Mallory inched closer to him, hoping he would welcome her rather than push her away. “Not every which way.”
“No?”
She shook her head. “I was really, really worried about you earlier when I couldn’t get in touch with you.”
“I’m sorry to do that to you.”
She placed her hand on top of his. “All that matters is that you’re okay.”
He turned his hand up and linked their fingers. “I need you to do something else for me.”
“Whatever you need.”
“Remind me why I can’t get rip-roaring drunk right now when I want to so badly.”
“Because we both know that’ll only make things worse rather than better, and you’ve worked too hard to create a life that doesn’t require alcohol and drugs.”
“It was easier when I could numb the pain.”
“Believe me, I know.”
“Keep reminding me of that?”
“Any time you need to hear it.”
With his palm pressed against hers, Mallory felt like she could truly breathe again for the first time in hours. “I’d also like to point out that the fact someone actually cares about you is the only reason you’re not spending a long, uncomfortable night in a dark, creepy basement.”
He huffed out a laugh. “True.” Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he said, “You didn’t sign on to be my nurse.”
“I love being a nurse. I love taking care of people, especially the ones I love.”
His body went taut, and she swore he stopped breathing. “Does that include me?”
“What if it does? Are you going to run away from me screaming?”
“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed that I can’t exactly run at the moment.”
“Figuratively speaking.”
“I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
“You’re not. What you’ve been to me is so much more than that, and I’d like to think that if I ever fall down the stairs or wrench my knee stepping in a hole, maybe you would take care of me until I was back on my feet again.”
“Of course I would.”
“Then consider this a down payment on all my future needs.”
His gaze locked on hers. “All of them?”
“Only if that’s what you want, too.”
He raised his free hand to her face, running his thumb over her skin and igniting a firestorm inside her. “I want you. As you well know, I’ve wanted you from the first instant I laid eyes on you, and I’m beginning to suspect there’ll never be a time when I don’t want you.”
“Ditto.” She leaned in close enough to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “Let me take care of you. Let me care about you. Let’s do this together. There’s nothing you could throw at me that I couldn’t handle except losing you. Don’t make me have to go through that again.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“How about we get you settled in bed where you’ll be more comfortable.”
“Only if you come with me.”
“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She helped him up and held him until he was steady.
“My head hurts like a son of a bitch.”
“I’ll get you something for that.” She helped him to the bathroom and waited outside the door to give him some privacy. This day had not turned out the way she’d planned, but they’d still taken a huge step forward, which was what she’d wanted.
He hobbled into the bedroom, where she helped him out of his shirt, running her fingers over the bruises on his ribs. “Does it hurt?”
“Not too bad. My head is the worst of it.”
When she reached for his belt, he stopped her.
Mallory looked up at him. “If we’re going to make a go of this, I’m going to see it every day.”
After a long pause, he lifted his hand, giving silent permission for her to proceed in removing his pants. She unbuttoned and unzipped him carefully, noting the bulge that had formed there. Glancing up at him, she smiled.
“Can’t help it. The sexiest babe in the world is undressing me. I’m concussed, not dead.”
“And thank God for that.” She slid the pants down over his hips and lower still, until his stump was revealed.
Wearing only his boxers, he sat on the bed. “There it is in all its purple glory.”
Mallory saw fading bruises from the earlier injury and new ones from tonight. “I’ll get some ice.”
“I’m having déjà vu.”
Mallory settled him against the pillows and pulled a light blanket over him. “Comfy?”
“Sort of.”
“What do you need?”
“You’ve given me this new ache that needs tending to.”
She laughed. “Not tonight, stud. Your head would explode.”
“That’s the whole idea.”
Smiling, she tapped her index finger on the uninjured side of his forehead. “This one.”
Scowling playfully, he said, “Oh, well, that wouldn’t be good.”
>
“Behave. I’ll be back with some ice and pain pills.” When she returned to the room a few minutes later, he had his head back and his eyes closed. She laid a towel over his leg and placed the ice bag carefully.
“Thanks, babe,” he muttered.
“You’re welcome.” She brushed the hair back from his forehead and kissed him. “You want to take some meds?”
“Yeah.”
She helped him with the pills and water. “Get some rest. I’m here if you need me.”
Without opening his eyes, he patted the other side of the bed. “I need you right here.”
“Give me one minute.” She went into the bathroom to change into pajamas and brush her teeth. Then she let Brutus out one more time. He lay down on his bed by the fireplace while she went to join Quinn in her bed.
He reached for her hand and gave a tug to bring her closer to him.
Mallory rested her head on his chest and sighed when he put his arm around her to keep her there. “Are you in pain?”
“Everything is much better now.”
“The pills will be kicking in.”
“That’s not why. It’s you. You make everything better.”
“You do the same for me.”
He ran his hand up and down her arm, his touch igniting her the way it always did.
“Hey, Quinn?”
“Hmmm?”
“I got invited to a wedding this weekend, and I get to bring a date. Will you be my plus one?”
He kissed the top of her head and held her even tighter. “I’d love to be your plus one this weekend and every weekend.”
On the day before Dan and Kara’s long-awaited wedding, Mallory asked her dad and Linda if she could bring lunch to their house. When they happily accepted, Mallory picked up lunch from the grocery store deli and headed to the White House.
Parked in the driveway behind her dad’s truck, she gathered up her bags and headed for the front door. As always, she hesitated before walking in, but they’d told her not to knock on their door. Their home, they said, was her home.
“Hey,” Big Mac said in his big booming voice when she walked into the kitchen like she belonged there. “Let me help you!”
“I got it,” she said, smiling at him, because how could she not? The sight of him made her happy. Then he made it even better by kissing her cheek and peeking into the bags to see what she’d brought.
“Ohhh, you got that chicken salad I love.”
“She knows the way to your heart is through your stomach,” Linda said when she joined them. She too gave Mallory a kiss and a quick hug before she smacked her husband’s hand. “Don’t be rude.”
“Am I being rude?” Big Mac asked Mallory.
“Not at all.”
He gave his wife a smug look. “I’m starving, and my daughter brought food.”
“Dig in,” Mallory said, amused by him as always.
“He probably had a dozen doughnuts this morning, and he’s still starving.”
“It was only three, and I’m a growing boy.”
“You’re going to be growing in all the wrong ways if you keep eating so many doughnuts.”
“She tries to put me on a doughnut diet every spring, but it never works,” he said as he broke open the bag of rolls Mallory had brought and made himself a sandwich. “It’s her fault I’m addicted to them in the first place. They’re her mother’s recipe.”
Mallory pulled a knife from the butcher block on the counter and sliced a tomato.
He put two slices on his sandwich and took a big bite. “Mmmm, that’s good. Thanks, hon.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, laughing as Linda handed him a plate with a long-suffering glare.
“She loves me,” he said, his mouth full.
“I keep hoping he’s going to grow up one of these days.”
Big Mac winked at Mallory. “She likes me just the way I am.”
Mallory and Linda made sandwiches and joined Big Mac at the table, where they chatted about Dan and Kara’s wedding, among other topics. When Mallory thought about the reason she’d wanted to see them, her appetite waned and her throat tightened with emotion. She took a sip of her ice water and tried to get herself together.
Naturally, Big Mac noticed right away. “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”
She took a deep breath and said to Linda, “I took the advice you gave me a couple of months ago to talk to Kevin about my mother.”
“Did it help?”
“Tremendously.”
“He’s the best at what he does,” Big Mac said.
“Yes, he is.”
“What about your mother?” he asked.
“I’ve had a lot of unresolved feelings about her keeping you from me until after she died.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sure you share many of those feelings, but you’d never say so out of respect to my mother—and me.”
“I won’t lie to you,” he said. “I’ve had my struggles with it, but I’m trying to focus on the here and now rather than dwelling on things in the past that I had no control over.”
“I’m finding that’s easier said than done.”
His lips curled into a small smile. “Me, too.”
“Kevin suggested I write her a letter to put it all out there and get it off my chest.”
“What do you think of that idea?” Linda asked.
“I liked it enough to actually write the letter in the middle of last night, and since I can’t read it to my mother, I hoped I might read it to you guys. If you’re willing to hear it, that is. No obligation.”
Big Mac reached over to put his hand on top of hers. “We’d love to hear it, and we’re honored you’d want to share it with us.”
Linda nodded in agreement. “Absolutely.”
“Okay, then.” Mallory went to retrieve the folded pages from her purse and returned to her seat at the table. “Here goes.”
Chapter 28
Mallory cleared her throat and prayed for the courage to get through this.
“Dear Mom,
“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I lost you, and so much has changed for me in that time. Before I say anything else, I want you to know how much I miss you and love you and appreciate everything you sacrificed to make sure I had a wonderful childhood and life. You always used to say the two of us were a team, and I loved being on that team with you.
“After you died, I found the letter you left where you knew I would find it, finally giving me my father’s name and telling me where he was. I spent a few days reeling from the contents of that letter, and trying to understand your fears about what might’ve happened if he’d known about me. Then I went to Gansett Island, hoping to have the chance to meet him and let him know I existed. I had no plan beyond that, but then again, I hadn’t met him yet. How could I know what would happen after he knew about me?”
Mallory glanced at Big Mac, who hung on her every word.
“What can I say about my father other than he’s quite possibly the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”
“Ah, damn,” Big Mac said softly.
“From the minute we met and I shared your letter with him, he has made me part of his life and his family. And what a family I have through him. Four brothers, a sister, four sisters-in-law, a brother-in-law, two nephews, a niece, two uncles and four cousins, not to mention a wonderful stepmother who has willingly and happily accepted me into their family. I have gained twenty-one new family members, counting my cousin’s three kids, and we’re expecting two new arrivals soon. I found out I look exactly like my father’s mother did at my age. Can you begin to understand what that means to me? To finally know, at age thirty-nine, where my dark hair and brown eyes come from?
“I’ve spent a lot of time with my new family over the last year and have gotten to know each of them. My brother Mac is the clown. He’s forever coming up with new ways to get himself in trouble while making me laugh so hard, I forget to breathe. I alread
y know that if I ever need him for anything, he’d drop everything and come running to help me out. Grant, a writer, is quieter but just as funny as Mac when he wants to be, and so smart about everything. Adam, the family’s technical expert, is loyal and sweet and devoted to his family, but he also loves a good laugh and gets right into the scrum with his siblings. Evan, the musician, continues to surprise me with his many talents. Just when I think I’ve seen the full extent, he picks up a banjo and blows me away all over again. Janey is the baby of the family and plays the role to the hilt, driving her older brothers, who call her ‘Brat,’ crazy with the way she needles them. She’s sweet and kind and crazy about animals of all sorts, especially the special-needs animals no one wants.”
Linda wiped at a tear. “They sound so wonderful when described through your eyes.”
“They are wonderful,” Mallory said, wiping at her own eyes. “My stepmother, Linda, runs the entire show with a fierce love for her family. Nothing gets by her. They call her Voodoo Mama because she always knows what her kids are up to, even now that they are adults. She has been so good to me from the first time we met, and I am thankful to have her in my life. My uncles, Frank and Kevin, my father’s brothers, and their adult kids Laura, Shane, Riley and Finn, are like the frosting on a very nice cake, not to mention the wide circle of family friends who have accepted me into their ranks and made me feel so at home with them. I am blessed beyond all belief to be part of this incredible family and the community that surrounds them.
“And yet, I have struggled with anger and sorrow over what I missed out on. I don’t get a lot of their jokes. I wasn’t there to help make the childhood memories they created together and cherish as adults. I’m one of them, but I’m not one with them. Despite their warm and loving welcome, the decades we should’ve had are lost, and we can’t ever get them back.”
Mallory paused for a moment before she continued.
“Now that I’ve met him and gotten to know him, I’m certain that my father would’ve been there for me when I was growing up, even if it meant traveling from his beloved island to be with me in Providence. He would’ve come for parent-teacher conferences, softball games, basketball games, my proms and my graduations. He would’ve been there for me when Ryan died so suddenly, and he would’ve held my hand when I was losing you. He would never have tried to take me from you. That’s not who he is, and I can’t believe you didn’t know that for sure, because you knew him.”
