Was the distance he had put between them a defense mechanism? He had told her about his late wife—Emily’s mother—Caron, but he hadn’t gone into detail about the aftermath of her death.
Mariah couldn’t even imagine what the loss of someone so important could do to a person’s psyche, much less their outlook on future relationships.
But as much as she wanted to know what drove Logan’s behavior, she was still too afraid to ask. She was loath to admit at first, but she had fallen for him all over again. Aside from her close friends, she couldn’t recall anyone else around whom she had felt so comfortable. When she was with him, she didn’t worry about saying something stupid that would change his view of her. He made her laugh almost effortlessly, and when they spent time together, she knew she would have fun.
For almost her entire life, Mariah had lived with the expectation that she should be the strong one. For her friends, her mom, her brother, for everyone. Whenever Corrine or Hazel needed a shoulder to cry on, Mariah didn’t hesitate. No matter what she had on her plate at the time, she would be strong for her friends. But when Mariah came face-to-face with her own despondency, she kept the morose sentiments to herself. Logically, she knew she would never be a burden to her friends and family, but the logical side of her brain never won out in the end.
Rather than lean on another person, she kept her woes to herself and soldiered on. Even after her break from MMA—an event that had been one of the single most devastating of her entire life—she hadn’t let her pain show. After all, she was the fighter. She was the one who always landed on her feet, the one who always found the silver lining when a dark cloud moved in to obscure the happiness and joy in her life.
All this time, she had viewed the strength she exhibited as her calling. She could handle the sadness, the uncertainty, the anxiety, but she didn’t want her loved ones to have to contend with any sort of negativity. If she could, she would take the burden from them to bear herself.
Logan was different.
Stranded in a life-or-death situation, his calm hadn’t wavered. He’d been decisive and level-headed, and he had been strong.
Despite the loss he had suffered, he did his best to support and be present for Emily. He was someone Mariah knew she could lean on, but now, she wasn’t sure she would ever get the opportunity. Aside from a good lay, she didn’t even know what she was to Logan anymore.
She had strong feelings for him, but she wasn’t so sure the sentiments were mutual.
The thought made her stomach sink as her throat tightened. And then, of course, there was the business deal she had ruined. Logan wasn’t materialistic, but he took pride in the work he had done to make his and his partner’s firm successful. In one fell swoop, Mariah had wrecked the opportunity for him to expand the Harfield and Wellner name to an international crowd. Sure, maybe the chance would reappear down the road, but she doubted he saw it that way.
With a long sigh, she stretched her legs out in front of her as she fought back tears. As much as she wanted to go home, she wondered if their time on the remote island would be the end of whatever relationship she and Logan had formed.
When she got back to the States, she would undoubtedly be forced to crawl back to Joe and The Max where she would live out the rest of her days working seventy hours per week. Her days would be spent massaging various aches and pains from standing for ten hours straight, and her nights would be spent tossing drunks out of the bar so other people could enjoy their lives.
But she would figure it out. She always did. She would soldier on until one day she couldn’t anymore.
A distant rumble snapped her out of the contemplation, and she blinked against the bright sunlight as she glanced up to make note of movement in the azure sky.
A plane.
Eyes wide, she leaped to her feet and sprinted through the warm sand to where Logan’s and Emily’s shocked stares were fixed on the horizon. As Logan glanced to her, his mouth agape in unabashed surprise, she threw her arms above her head.
Though there was little doubt that the amphibious plane was headed in their direction, Logan and Emily followed suit in short order. As the drone of the engine grew to a roar, a flicker of movement in her periphery jerked Mariah’s attention to the tree line.
“The pilot!” she exclaimed. She couldn’t tell if Emily or Logan heard her over the sound of the incoming plane, but she wasted no time rushing to the side of the disheveled man.
“I heard…” he wheezed, glancing from her to the plane and back. “I heard the plane, so I ran the rest of the way out here.”
Despite the events of the last couple days, Mariah let loose a relieved smile as she draped the pilot’s arm over her shoulders to keep him on his feet. Logan rushed up to them with a bottle of fresh water. As the pilot drank deeply, the plane came to a halt at the edge of the sandy beach.
Mariah stuck with the pilot to hydrate and revive him with their stock of water, and Logan and Emily gathered up their belongings. They hauled the bags onto the plane, situated the man who had saved their lives, and then took their seats. Emily was beside Mariah, and as soon as she circled an arm around the little girl, Emily leaned in to rest her head on Mariah’s shoulder.
With a weary sigh, Mariah closed her eyes and let herself fall into a relieved sleep.
Chapter 32
Mariah
With their arrival in San Bravado came the onslaught of the questions Mariah had tried to avoid while they were stranded on the Indonesian island.
In Singapore, they had been looked over by doctors in a hospital near the airport. The man had cleared them for travel, and they’d wasted no time boarding a plane bound for California. The time in Singapore and even the flight back to San Bravado felt like the haze of a dream to Mariah.
She had slept for most of the ten-hour flight back to the States, but when she awoke before the plane landed, she almost wished she hadn’t. Swallowing against the lump in her throat, she had tightened her seatbelt and dared a quick glance to Logan. His posture seemed more relaxed, but his expression was unreadable.
For the rest of the trip through the airport and back to Logan’s house, she avoided glancing in his direction. Emily had fallen asleep again, and aside from the songs that played on the radio, the drive was made in silence. Even though their driver took the interstate, as far as Mariah was concerned, they might as well have been driving through molasses.
When they arrived at Logan’s estate, what was she supposed to say? What could she even say? That she was sorry? No, she’d said that plenty of times already. Her apology didn’t change the fact that she had screwed up one of the most important deals of Logan’s business career. Sure, the incident had been an honest mistake, and she had acted without malice. Her intentions had been good, but Mariah knew how that saying went—the road to hell was paved with good intentions.
At the end of the day, the important takeaway from the disastrous meeting was that she had caused the deal to fall through. After that—after Logan told Aaron Wellner and Jordan—there was no way she would be able to keep her job. And based on the way that Logan had distanced himself from her after their night together, she doubted she would be able to keep him and Emily in her life at all.
The familiar pinpricks rose to the corners of her eyes as the sprawling Harfield residence came into view. After all they’d been through, she was about to be tossed back to square one.
As the driver pulled into the sloping driveway, Logan thanked the man and handed him a generous tip. All Mariah could manage was a strained smile. Logan opened the rear passenger side door to wake Emily, but Mariah averted her gaze.
This was it. She was sure of it. It was the end of her promising future at Harfield and Wellner and the end of any sort of future for her and Logan. Blinking back tears, she grabbed her bags and one of Emily’s. She waited until Logan and Emily had started for the door before she followed them down the short stretch of sidewalk.
Only moments after they had entered th
e house, Estella arrived. Mariah didn’t know when, but Logan had sent her a text message to advise her that their flight had landed. Emily rushed up to the housekeeper to wrap her in a tight embrace, and before they had even separated, she launched into the tale of their island adventure. The duo disappeared around the corner as Estella helped Emily carry her bags up to her room.
Swallowing in an effort to return some semblance of moisture to her mouth, Mariah turned to face Logan as he made his way back to the foyer.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. Her vision blurred, and all she could do was try to will the tears away. “I just, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, to ruin that meeting. I just saw the silver in his hand and—he looked pissed, and they all seemed pissed, and… Jesus, I’m sorry, Logan. I’m not trying to make an excuse, it’s just… I feel terrible. I just wanted to make sure you knew that before I left.” She paused to take a breath and brush at her eyes.
She had scarcely seen him through her tears, but when she looked up, she noticed that the look on his unshaven face had softened. Any anger that might have lingered from the collapse of the deal was gone, and in its place was… worry. Why was he worried?
Before she could pose the question, Logan held up a hand. “No, you don’t need to apologize for anything. You’re right, and I know how it looked. You did what you thought was right, and I can’t fault you for that. It’s okay, really. And, besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”
Her mouth gaped open. The confession was so far off base from what she had expected, she could summon no words to her lips.
“First of all, I should have filled you in on the customs of that particular client. As my bodyguard, you deserved to be briefed on everything I knew. I dropped the ball on that. It was my fault,” he said. “And there’s more.”
Mariah was stunned silent.
Raking the fingers of one hand through his hair, Logan blew out a quiet sigh. “Four years ago, when I didn’t make it to your fight in Las Vegas. I wasn’t tied up at work like I tried to tell you I was. I didn’t show up on purpose.”
She didn’t have a chance to react before he forged on.
“I didn’t show up on purpose because I was scared. I fell hard for you, Mariah. I couldn’t even believe it at first, but those first few days after we met, all I could think about was what would happen when you got back. It’s like my brain just threw me down this spiral of what-ifs, and I convinced myself that there was no way it’d work between us. You were going to go on to be an MMA star, you know?
“And no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t convince myself otherwise. I didn’t want to risk getting attached, didn’t want to risk Emily getting attached, or at least that’s what I told myself. Caron had been gone for three years at that point, but I was still reeling, or, like I said, that’s what I told myself. I told myself I was cutting you out of my life because I needed to protect Emily, but that was a load of bull. I was doing it because I was scared.”
Mariah started to tremble.
“I hate not knowing how something’s going to turn out,” Logan continued, his tone growing passionate. “I can’t stand it. It drives me insane, and when it comes to relationships, well, nothing’s certain, you know? And I was too afraid to face all that uncertainty again, so I just ran away from it. But that’s life. Life is uncertainty, and if we want to get anything out of it, we’ve got to learn to deal with it.”
Mariah felt the warmth of the next round of tears as they streaked down her cheeks.
Shaking his head, the overhead light caught the band of Logan’s watch as he adjusted it. “Being around you these past couple days, watching you and Emily, it was like a slap in the face. Cutting you out of my life—and ignoring you after we had sex the other night—it’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever done. And I doubt it’s much of a stretch for you to imagine that I’ve done some stupid stuff in my life.” His lips curved into a smile as he made the self-deprecating remark.
Though Mariah’s chuckle sounded more like a cough, she brushed at her cheeks as she nodded. “Yeah, me too. You’re in good company.”
He offered her a smile, though the look was tinged with sadness. “I’m so sorry, Mariah. And I promise, I’ll never make you feel like that again.”
Her vision blurred with more tears. Sniffling, she swiped at her cheeks and finally met his gaze. “So, does this mean I’m not fired?”
For the first time in days, his handsome face brightened with a grin. With a tentative hand, he reached out to brush the tears from her eyes. “I’d never forgive myself if I let you go again.”
Without preamble, she threw her arms around his shoulders. He pulled her close for a tight embrace, and for a moment, they just stood there. Wrapped in each other’s arms, oblivious to the rest of the world. In spite of the tumultuous week, Mariah didn’t think she had ever felt more at peace.
When she pulled away to peer up at him, she clasped his shoulder with one hand as she reached the other to touch his scruffy cheek.
Mariah finally felt safe sharing her feelings. “All I want is to be around you and Emily. I realized that while we were on that island. You really came through for Emily and me. You were strong and protective and cared for your daughter. Whenever I’m around you, I feel different. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like I know I’m going to have fun, I’m going to be happy, and I don’t have to struggle or be alone. I think we are better together. And, well, the mind-blowing sex doesn’t hurt anything.”
The corners of his gray eyes creased as he laughed. “No, it doesn’t. I’m glad it’s as good for you as it is for me.”
She couldn’t help but grin in response.
“So, what do you say?” Logan asked. “Do you want to give this thing a shot?”
Before he had finished the question, she started to nod. “Absolutely.”
As he tilted his head, Mariah closed the distance to press her lips to his. Despite all the heartache that had led them to this moment, she would rather be here than anywhere else.
Logan was right, matters of the heart were fraught with uncertainty. But as he pulled her into the warmth of his body, she was as far from uncertain as she had ever been.
Epilogue
A Year Later: Mariah
The overhead fluorescent lights caught the polished diamond on Mariah’s left ring finger as she brushed a piece of hair over her shoulder. To her side, Logan rested a hand on the small of her back as they watched the procession of a group of kids. Led by a man in a red robe cinched at the waist with a black belt, his feet bare, three kids—two girls and a boy—walked to the gymnasium mat. Even from a distance, Mariah could see the excitement on Emily’s face.
For the past year, Emily had attended weekly lessons at a local karate studio. Her instructor was seated down in the front row of bleachers, along with the instructors for the other kids in the tournament. It was Emily’s first public karate performance, and she had been as nervous as she was excited.
Six months ago, just a few days before Logan had given her the diamond ring and asked her to marry him, Mariah had finally taken Hazel’s advice and started on her MBA. Though she still worked as Logan’s assistant and bodyguard at Harfield and Wellner, she had been sucked into the business aspect of venture capitalism.
Like Logan had told her all those years ago when they first met, there was a great deal of good that could be done from a position in a venture capital firm.
Though she had been worried at first that her employment would come off as unprofessional, Logan had put her concerns to rest. Acting as a personal assistant and security professional, she operated in a separate sphere of the firm than any of the other employees. Ergo, special treatment—which was the main concern that came with office romances—was not possible because she was in a class all her own.
Plus, her position at Logan’s side meant that she went with him when he traveled for global meetings.
When Aaron Wellner learned the reason that the deal wit
h the Singaporean firm had fallen through, he had rolled his eyes. He had been quick to clarify that his exasperation rested with the members of the potential client’s firm, and not Mariah. They knew that Mariah was responsible for Logan’s security, and they had still decided it was a good idea to send a man in Logan’s direction at an aggressive pace without any warning as to what was happening.
A few months after the trip to the island resort, Aaron and Logan had received word from a client in Australia who was interested in Jordan’s mobile development business. From there, the sale had transpired like it was initially planned with the Singaporean client. And now, nine months later, the group in Australia had nearly earned back their investment.
All the while, Logan had cut back his hectic work schedule to a mere forty-hour workweek. The hours were sometimes odd, but for the most part, they were home each night for dinner. They were still busy—they had a wedding to plan, after all—but it was a different type of busy. A type of busy that was meaningful to more than just their finances.
Mariah pulled her focus back to the present as the announcer held up the first-place medal. When he proclaimed Emily as the winner, Mariah and Logan both gave her an enthusiastic round of applause. The tournament over, Logan draped an arm over her shoulders as they made their way down to the gymnasium floor.
“Awesome job!” Mariah exclaimed as Emily rushed over to greet them.
Emily grinned and showed Mariah the medal.
“Way to kick some butt, sweetie,” Logan put in.
At the unorthodox compliment, Emily had to stifle a giggle. Arms wide, she took another step toward them. “Group hug?” she asked.
Mariah couldn’t help her laughter as she knelt down so she and Logan could embrace the eight-year-old martial-arts-loving bookworm.
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