The kiss by the creek conceded James’s assessment, but the moment seemed lost forever. All Garret could think was she wanted nothing to do with a guy who’d been so duped by the likes of Chantelle. And then Sawyer made his move, and she went for it.
Wasn’t it just two months ago Garret had wished she’d fall for Sawyer instead? Who knew having his wish come true could be this painful?
He held out his hand. “My keys?”
“Sure you won’t stay for fireworks? We can start lighting them off in just a couple of minutes. Let me check with Lauren.”
“I’ve had rather enough fireworks, frankly.” At least of the Chantelle variety. The Tori variety? He could use a whole lot more.
James chuckled. “Yeah, I can see that.” He dipped into his shorts pocket and pulled out Garret’s fob. “Here you go, Morrison. See you at sunrise.”
And to think Garret could have wrestled those keys away from James any time he wanted. Without a backward glance, he strode up the drive toward his truck.
Tori poured a tall glass of iced tea and slipped out to her quiet back deck facing the still water. The sliver of moon flirted with a few fluffy clouds overhead, gleaming on the small lake. A cricket or two chirped, and a bat swooped.
The fireworks were a memory. She’d sat alone on the beach near her brother’s house amid the snuggling couples, her charges flanking their big brother. And then she’d paddled the twins back across the dark lake and sent them up to the loft.
She felt less alone on her deck than she had in the group. The reminder that she was the tagalong stuck. They were James’s friends, and they let her hang out with them. Lauren claimed to want to be friends, but that was because she felt sorry for Tori. When she had girl-stuff to share, she went to Denae or Cheri. Maybe even Meg.
Garret had talked to James for a few minutes then headed out without a backward glance. To find Chantelle? That didn’t feel right. Whatever had been between the two of them was long gone.
But what about what was between Tori and Garret? He was so hard to read. Those kisses by the creek... was she misremembering? Had it really happened, or was her overactive imagination striking again?
Tori touched her lips. They remembered. It felt real, but so was the way he’d cut her off, had brusque words with Chantelle, talked to the guys while they stuffed their faces, then left without another glance at Tori.
The vision of the voluptuous blonde stuck in her mind. If that’s the kind of woman Garret was used to having on his arm, no wonder he hadn’t given her a second look for five years. She’d thought maybe a new cut and color and an updated wardrobe would make the difference. Yeah, right. Next to Nashville’s sweetheart, Tori remained a country bumpkin.
Well, that’s who she was. Nothing but a cowgirl. She wasn’t even capable of keeping Emma and Alexia out of trouble. Their father terrified her with his brusque, no-nonsense demeanor, so different from Dad’s gentle spirit. Bringing the twins here was just as much a mistake. They hadn’t discovered Matt and Lionel yet, but when they did, Tori would have her hands full.
She’d jumped at Noah’s offer much too quickly. She didn’t have the training for the task she’d signed on for. It was only for a month, and that was half over. She’d survive, but Declan Cavanagh needed to find another solution long-term. If he even stopped to consider his youngest children at any point.
That wasn’t Tori’s problem. It couldn’t be.
She drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them to herself as a light breeze picked up off the lake. It was so still. The guests in the nearby cabins had cheered the fireworks across the water and then, apparently, retired for the night.
Lord, are You out there?
She stared at the night sky as the slivered moon slid behind a thicker cloud. Pitch dark. Just like her spirits tonight.
Jesus, have I been too busy making my own plans to be open to Your direction? Did I assume that the desires of my heart were the same as Yours?
It seemed that way. She’d let herself live in default mode, and the variations from it were few and far between. She’d fixated on Garret because... because why? He’d seemed safe. He wasn’t safe. He had more baggage than a train of packhorses.
From Garret she’d ricocheted to Rockstead Ranch, but chaperoning two young teens under the sharp gaze of their domineering father and varied attention from their assorted brothers had been leaping from the frying pan into the fire.
But, she couldn’t stay here forever, either. She couldn’t bear watching Garret suffer through his mom’s illness and then pack up and leave Saddle Springs for good.
Was becoming a teacher the right thing, after all? It had been her dream all through her childhood and teen years, until the world had tipped on its axis after her dad’s accident.
A passionate, caring teacher made all the difference. She could do that in a school setting without living in for a family like the Cavanaghs. By the time she was certified, Garret would be long gone, and she could return to Saddle Springs. Maybe rent a place in town like the duplex Lauren used to own. She could come out to the Flying Horseshoe several times a week to ride Coaldust, hang out with her nieces and nephews, and visit her parents.
Why did that future look so gray and desolate? She’d get used to living without Garret.
Her fingers touched her mouth.
Could she give up that dream after those lip-searing kisses by the creek?
She had to. He’d deviated momentarily, but he’d snapped back behind his facade in no time flat at the reminder of what he’d lost years ago.
Tori was nothing compared to Chantelle and all Garret had left in Kentucky. She couldn’t compete. Didn’t want to. If she wasn’t enough the way she was, then she wasn’t enough.
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
That was the Lord speaking, not Garret. Jesus had covered her lack with His own forgiveness and abundance. She might not be enough for Garret, but she was enough for Jesus. He’d loved her, redeemed her, and given her purpose. She just needed to find it and embrace it.
Tori rose to her feet and crossed to the deck railing. Leaning on it, she peered into the dark night at the millions of pricks of starlight. One shot across the blackness in a blaze that disappeared without a trace in a bare instant.
The God who created the universe loved her. He had a plan for her and would not abandon her. Dad always told her you couldn’t turn a parked vehicle. Sure, you could pretend by yanking on the steering wheel, but the car stayed pointing the way it had been before. If you actually wanted to change the direction, you had to put it in drive and apply pressure to the accelerator. Then a twist of the wheel made a difference, but not before.
She’d send in her application to the college in Missoula for January’s intake. That would be her foot on the gas with much prayer for guidance.
They might not accept her. But they might.
Either way, she’d pray the result was God’s direction in her life.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Garret met James at the corral as the first rays of sunlight crept across the stables. He’d saddled Trudy and Boomerang and strapped his fly rod case across his back. James stuffed containers of food into his saddlebags and mounted up, saluting Garret with his travel coffee mug.
Words were unnecessary. No more a morning person than Garret was, his friend was willing to enjoy the silence and stillness of dawn. Good thing, since sleep had been all but absent throughout the night as the evening replayed on endless loops in his mind.
They still repeated.
Tori’s sweet kisses. The ugly reality of Chantelle blasting into Garret’s current world. Tori avoiding looking at him, but comfortable with Sawyer. And then back to her kisses at the creek.
Why couldn’t God have kept Chantelle’s world from ever intersecting Garret’s again? The timing was incredibly horrific.
“Dude.” James nudged Boomerang up beside Trudy. “Talk.”
Garret shook his head.
J
ames’s sigh was loud enough to be heard over the creaking leather and plodding hooves.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Who said anything about easy? I’m as private as the next guy. You know that. But every once in a while, a man needs someone to talk to. You’re the guy who needs to talk. I’m the guy God sent to listen.”
Garret angled a glance at his friend. Had God really sent James? Certainly keeping everything close to the vest hadn’t done Garret any favors. But still, James was the brother of the woman Garret loved.
Yes, loved.
His barricade had cracked just a little last night, and the light that had seeped through that gap had revealed the truth he’d been hiding from.
“I think there’s more to your life story than the bit Chantelle mentioned.”
“There is.” Of course, there was. He was thirty years old. He’d lived a quarter of a century before ever meeting the man he now called friend. Garret winced inwardly. How could he consider James his friend if he blocked everything away? He’d told Tori and not sworn her to secrecy. Who knew if she’d told anyone? And what did it matter? She hadn’t run screaming at the revelations.
Maybe James wouldn’t, either. And if he did, would Garret be any worse off?
“I’m adopted,” he blurted out. “My birth mom died of a drug overdose. No one found us for three days.”
“I’m sorry,” James said simply, eyes full of compassion.
“Tuck and Nancy took me in as a foster kid and then adopted me.”
“God was looking after you.”
That’s what Tori had said. What his new parents had told him, too. What he’d believed himself for many, many years. Still did, buried deep beneath the other layers of hurt.
“I was married. My... wife...” His voice broke on the word. “My wife died in a crash on our way to the honeymoon hotel.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“And then I met Chantelle two years later.”
“And then you moved west.”
Garret nodded.
“That’s a lot.”
“Tell me.”
“I’ve been reading the Psalms lately.” James dug into his hip pocket and pulled out his phone. He thumbed it on, poked around a bit, then glanced over. “Psalm 66 was this morning.”
“Oh?” For all the passages and verses Garret had memorized as a child, this chapter didn’t ring a bell.
“Starting here in verse eight. ‘Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of his praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip. For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water’...” James looked up. “Sound about right?”
Garret took a deep breath and nodded. Crushing burdens, being trampled, fire, water... yeah. All of that.
James looked back at his phone. “‘We went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.’” He tapped the device and shoved it back in his pocket.
A place of abundance? That’s what Dad had said, too. Garret knew that one. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
“John 10:10.”
Garret gave James a startled look. He must have recited it out loud.
“So here’s the question, Garret. Are you going to let the thief steal, kill, and destroy? Are you going to wallow in the crushing burden and the fire and water? Or are you going to move through and claim the abundance?”
He wanted to take offense at the word wallow, but wasn’t that what he’d been doing? In himself, he claimed no one needed to know the sordid details of his past. He’d come to Montana to reinvent himself as a man who held himself aloof so he wouldn’t get hurt again.
Guess what?
He was hurt. And this time it was his own fault.
Was Tori part of the abundant life Jesus wanted to shower on him? Maybe. But, even if she wasn’t — or he’d irrevocably ruined everything — God was bigger than that.
“That’s a lot to take in, Carmichael. Thanks.”
James studied him for a long moment then nodded. “What’s a good fly the trout are hitting on these days? Lauren says if I’m not bringing in the bacon today, the least I can do is provide fish for supper.”
Garret cracked a grin. “Parachute Adams. Is there any other fly?”
“I’ll put my Elk Hair Caddis against your Adams any day of the week.”
“You’re on.”
“My father needs you to bring the twins home.”
Tori clenched the phone tighter in her hand at Noah’s words. “But we’ve only been gone twenty-four hours.”
“I know.” Noah’s voice softened. “But when my mother figured out they were gone, she kind of lost it.”
“But...” The girls had kissed their mother goodbye. She’d even waved from the window. “Noah, this can’t work. How am I supposed to do what I’m hired for if they change their minds on a whim?” Oh, no. She should definitely not be badmouthing Noah’s parents to anyone, let alone him.
“I get it.” He sighed. “I thought you distracting them from the tension around here could only be a good thing. It’s like the twins are pawns in a chess game between Declan and my mother, neither of whom are thinking rationally.”
That was the first time he’d called his stepdad by his first name in Tori’s hearing, showcasing the frustration in his voice. How had Noah turned out to be one of the good ones in a dysfunctional family like that?
On the other hand, everything had changed between her and Garret last night. Had changed twice. Sticking around the Flying Horseshoe wondering if or when he’d face up to what he’d done didn’t sound appealing. And she’d rather not have a front row seat to his indecision.
Footsteps pounded on the log steps between Tori and the lake. “I get first dibs. I saw him first.”
Tori covered the receiver. “Saw who first?” She could guess, though. The loft window looked out over the stable yard.
Alexia’s eyes widened when she glanced over and saw Tori. “Umm… I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Emma shoved her. “You totally did.”
“Noah?” Tori said into the phone. “You’re right. It was probably bad timing to bring them here. So, yes, we’ll pack up and head back to Rockstead today.”
Emma glared at her twin. “Now you’ve done it.”
“It’s not my fault.”
“Nothing ever is.”
“Exactly. It’s totally yours.”
“Girls.” Tori tapped to end the call and set the phone down. “Your parents need you at home.”
Alexia’s hands found her hips. “I don’t want to.”
“We’re not being given an option, honestly. I don’t want to, either.” Or she hadn’t until overhearing their rivalry. “But those are the orders we’ve been given.”
“Dad’s just proving he’s boss.” Alexia sighed.
Emma turned to Tori with a worried frown. “Is Mom okay?”
Define okay? “I’m not sure. Noah didn’t say.” Not in so many words. “So, instead of going horseback riding this morning, you need to go back up to the loft and pack your stuff. We need to be on the road in an hour.”
“An hour?” Alexia curled her lip. “That’s not even reasonable. Where’s Adam? He can set things straight.”
Emma nodded. “Yeah, where’s Adam?”
“You’re my responsibility, not your brother’s.” Tori pointed up the staircase. “So please just march back up there and start packing. I need to do the same.”
Alexia muttered something rude under her breath and flounced up the steps. Emma held back a bit, searching Tori’s face. Then she trailed her sister.
Tori tapped her mom’s number on the cell phone as she entered her own bedroom and yanked her luggage out from under the bed. “Mom? There’s been a
change of plans.” Again.
A few hours of fishing with a buddy had been just what Garret needed. After delivering his brief sermon and noting it had sunk in, James had changed the subject. They’d spoken of random, everyday things between reeling in several nice brookies each. They’d stopped by the miner’s cabin and eaten their lunch in the shade. He’d even told James how much he loved that place, how he’d cleaned it out and hauled a decent mattress up here years ago. It had been his getaway when memories threatened to drag him under. A place where God met him.
Now they rounded a bend in the trail overlooking the town of Saddle Springs, and James’s phone began to ping with incoming texts.
This was as far into the back country as cell service reached. “Popular guy,” Garret commented.
James thumbed the device on, and his brow furrowed as he read his messages. “It’s Tori,” he said tersely, reining Newton to a stop.
And here Garret had been congratulating himself that he hadn’t dumped the tale of his lovesickness on his best friend. Now, he almost wished he had. “What’s up?” Hopefully he’d kept his voice casual.
James scrolled, glanced at his watch, then scrolled some more. “A couple of hours ago, she texted and asked me to come load her car. Then she said she had to take the twins back to Rockstead.” Scroll. “Then she said never mind, she’d get everything herself, that she didn’t want to ask Matt to help.” James looked up. “I wonder why not? He’s capable of slinging backpacks and suitcases.”
Garret managed a nonchalant shrug even as his gut squeezed. Tori was leaving again? Maybe had already left? While he dithered and caught fish, something was going on that he should have been aware of.
“Last text was twenty minutes ago, saying she’d see me in two weeks.” He frowned and skewered Garret with a hard look. “I thought I’d said everything I needed to say to you, but now I’m not so sure. What happened last night, Morrison? Besides Chantelle.”
The Cowboy's Belated Discovery Page 16
