I knew what caused my anxiety, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was the cause behind Landon’s. It blew my mind how he could stand in a room, surrounded by dozens of people who claimed to be his friends, and no one even noticed his pain.
Except me.
I saw it, and I worried about it, even though it wasn’t my place to worry. I worried so much I reached out to Greyson to find out a little more about it. I was certain he was thrown off by me asking about Landon, seeing how I’d never cared about the guy in the past, but seeing his sadness, seeing it leaking from his heart and knowing that same pain, I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t mentally be okay with having a stupid bet with Landon if his pieces were already shattered.
At first, I got kind of elated about the idea of the bet. It felt like a fun challenge, because it was highlighting each of our true talents. Landon’s gift was physical attraction. Over the years, I’d watched him get girls to melt into a puddle by just winking their way. He played the cliché bad-boy role to a T, and those high school girls fell right into his lap—and his bed.
My talent was the complete opposite. While he excelled at physical attraction, I was a master at emotions. I was a storyteller, and as such, I’d spent the past several years of my life learning how to study people. Everyone I encountered became a character to me. I learned their ins and outs. I wrote down their traits in my many notebooks. I studied why they were the way they were, what drove them, what inspired them, what made them tick. I asked them questions. I engaged with them because they all fascinated me so much. I was a people person by nature. It was my gift—seeing people from all sides, all angles. I’d learned early on that there aren’t any real villains in life, just heroes who have been beaten down for so long they’ve forgotten they have the ability to be good.
The challenge of making Landon fall in love with me was fun at first. Making my sworn enemy love me seemed like a decent way to mock Landon for the rest of his life. Plus, someday down the line, I could base a character off him and his complexities.
That was, until I spoke to Greyson and learned the truth about Landon’s struggles.
“He’s not okay lately, and I don’t think he’s been sleeping,” he told me. “He’s the kind of sad you only notice if you look closely enough, and most people don’t look. He’s one of my best friends, though, and I see it all. Ever since Lance died, he hasn’t been okay, and Saturday was Lance’s birthday, so I know that triggered some of his issues. I know you two have your own hate and stuff, Shay, but Landon is a good guy. He’s just lost, that’s all—just like all of us, I suppose.”
Those words from Greyson made the game less fun in my mind. It felt cruel, almost, to play a game with someone who was so broken.
I walked over to Landon’s locker on Monday at school, and Greyson’s words stayed with me as I headed toward him. That morning, I was looking straight at him, uncertain what it was I was going to see—the sad, broken Landon, or the cold, distant one I usually interacted with.
“Hey, Landon.”
He turned my way, a bit thrown off by seeing me standing there. I had to admit, I was a bit thrown off, too. Never in my life had I thought I’d be walking up to Landon of all people and saying hi to him.
“Sup?” he asked, pulling out some books from his locker and shoving them into his backpack.
“I wanted to say…we can call off the bet. With everything going on…” My words faded. His life was messy enough; the last thing he needed was to keep up with some stupid bet. He had bigger issues to deal with.
“What do you mean ‘with everything going on’?” His voice was smoky, deep, and still made the hairs on my body stand straight up even if it was only eight in the morning.
“Well, Greyson told me about it being Lance’s birthday this past weekend, and—”
“What? You afraid of losing?” he said, cutting in, but I’d seen the small flinch in his body when I had mentioned his uncle.
“No. I just figured you had bigger issues to handle.”
“There’s nothing in my life that needs to be handled,” he said, closing his locker. He tossed his backpack onto his shoulder. “So don’t try to put that on me. If you want to forfeit the challenge then, by all means, quit. But I’ll be damned if I’m the one to cut it off, because I’m no chicken.”
“Landon, you’re still mourning the death of your uncle. You’re not okay.”
“You don’t have to tell me things I already know,” he replied, his voice dripping in a low smokiness. To my knowledge, Landon didn’t smoke, but his voice was so raspy at times you’d think he did.
“Yeah, but…well, that’s a lot on its own. Plus, with the anniversary of his death coming up in a few weeks…”
His jawline tightened, and he gripped the straps of his backpack tight. “Greyson talks too much,” he hissed.
“I’m glad he told me.”
Landon took a step backward. “Look, Chick, I don’t want or need your pity. I ain’t some charity case, okay? I don’t need Little Miss Perfect to fix my life.”
“I’m not trying to fix your life, Landon, and I’m not perfect—”
“Yeah, whatever. If you’re backing out of the challenge, cool. I didn’t expect you to follow through anyway. I knew you wouldn’t have it in you, but don’t come acting like you’re doing me some favor by punking out. I’m still one hundred percent certain I’d win.”
I studied him. Not just the words he was saying, but how he was moving. How his fingers fidgeted. How his crooked smile frowned.
Greyson’s words floated through my head as I looked at Landon.
He’s the kind of sad you only notice if you look closely enough.
His eyes.
His beautiful, sad eyes.
His eyes were heavy and miserable, filled with a story he was too terrified to tell. He kept something to himself. His hurts? His pain, maybe? His truths?
I wanted to know more about those parts of him. I wanted to study the angles he kept hidden from the world. I wanted to know about the boy I hated and why he hated himself even more. I was absolutely certain there was no one who hated Landon as much as he hated himself, and that idea alone made me feel bad for him.
Not pity him…but just…feel bad.
He had to be the most complex character I’d ever crossed as a storyteller, and I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by the idea of seeing how his story would unfold.
“Fine. The challenge is still on,” I said, rolling my shoulders back.
His body relaxed a little, as if he was pleased with the idea of the bet being on again. It was as if he needed this for some reason.
Seconds later, his body tensed up again, and he shrugged. “Good. See you when you’re saying you love me,” he said, walking off.
“Not before you say you love me first.”
“In your dreams, darling.”
“More like my nightmares,” I shouted his way. “And don’t call me darling!”
He flipped his hand in the air in boredom, putting an end to our conversation as he kept moving away. I stayed beside his locker for a few seconds, coming to the full understanding that I might have taken on more than I could handle trying to get Landon to fall in love with me. I wasn’t even sure he knew what love was, let alone what loving me meant.
This challenge was a mistake. We both knew that to be true.
Still, somehow, I wanted it for reasons unknown to me, wanted it more than I should’ve. Whenever I was near him, I felt this heat in my body that I’d never felt from anyone else. I wanted to know why that was a thing. I wanted to know if he felt it, too.
I wanted to know his story. His ugly, hard novel.
I wanted to read his words, even though they seemed to bleed across the page in the most painful way.
“I’m sorry, let me get this right,” Tracey said, standing next to my locker later that afternoon. “You bet Landon you could make him fall in love with you?”
I grabbed my English book
. “Yes.”
“Landon, as in Landon Harrison?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Landon Harrison as in the Landon Harrison who put bubblegum in your hair in middle school?”
“It was chewed-up Laffy Taffy.”
“You say that as if it makes it better.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it doesn’t, but it is what it is. Now, I have four months to make him fall in love with me before he makes me want to sleep with him.”
Tracey waved her hands in the air in complete confusion at my commentary. “I’m sorry, I’m just confused. You guys hate each other. It’s the only constant thing in my life—your hatred. I think it’s so weird that you’d even want to do something like this.”
“I know, but I couldn’t back down from the challenge. I walked in on him and Reggie placing the bet with each other about me, like some wild monkeys who had their chests puffed out.”
“Not my sweet, sweet Reggie!” she cried.
I rolled my eyes. “There’s a good chance he’s not as sweet as you think he is, Trace.”
“That’s okay—I like sour candy, too. Speaking of candy…” She held her hand out to me, and I pulled a piece from my pocket. It was a trait I’d definitely picked up from Mima, and I never left home without a pocket full of candy to keep me going through the day.
Tracey grinned, pleased, as she popped the candy into her mouth. “I’m just happy you overheard them. Could you imagine if they tried to play you? A classic Ten Things I Hate About You situation.”
“That’s exactly what I thought, but now I have the upper hand, because I know what’s going on. Now, Landon is going to have to deal with the outcome of making a bet on me. He’s going to lose so bad.” Tracey studied me for a minute with narrowed eyes. “What?” I asked. She narrowed her eyes even more. “What?!”
“Sweetheart, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m Team Landon, but…”
Her words trailed off, and I cocked an eyebrow. “Just say it.”
“You have a sensitive heart.”
I laughed. “What? What does that even mean?”
“Oh, sweetie.” Tracey frowned, shaking her head. “You write love stories for a living. You’re kind to every single person who crosses your path. You once bottle-fed an undernourished kitten before driving it to the vet, and…I don’t know, you recycle. I mean, you even put up with Hellica when no one else will,” she remarked.
“You mean Monica,” I corrected.
“I said what I said. She’s the definition of evil, and her non-boyfriend boyfriend is your nemesis. Do you really want to get in bed with Hellica’s guy? You know she has traits of being a bona fide psychopath to anyone who crosses her. Even if she and Landon have never officially been an item, she still calls dibs on him. There’s an unwritten rule that Landon Harrison is off-limits.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with our bet.”
“I just worry that loving is your default setting. If Landon Harrison shows any kind of flaw or weakness or…I don’t know, smiles, you’re going to react to it, and then bam! His penis is in your vagina while you’re dazed and confused and you’re thinking you’re in love.”
“That’s a lie. I can do this.” I hoped I could. I prayed I could. Otherwise, I was screwed.
“Okay, well…there’s another issue at hand.”
“And that is?”
“I think you’re going to end up sleeping with Landon Harrison.”
“What?! No, I’m not! Also, you don’t have to say his full name every time you mention him.”
“Uh, yes, I do actually, because it’s Landon Harrison—your sworn enemy! You’re acting like this is just an everyday situation when, really, you two are walking into the colosseum of fights. You can’t lose this battle, Shay. Do you understand me? If you have sex with him, that’s you losing your virginity to Landon-freaking-Harrison! That would be a very expensive therapy bill down the line.”
I laughed, shut my locker, and started walking away. “It’s not that serious, Tracey.”
“Um, yes, it is. This is the most important win you’ll probably ever have a chance at in your life. If you get Landon Harrison to fall in love with you, you win the win of all wins. You are getting your enemy to bow down at your feet. If that’s not epic, I don’t know what is. I need you to stay focused these next few months. He’s going to try everything to get under your skin. He’s going to use his sex appeal to try to pull you in.”
“Landon is not sexy,” I spat out.
“Listen, Shay, I know you hate the guy, but lying isn’t going to help your case. I think all of America can agree that Landon is sexy.”
True.
He had a crooked smile with a perfect Cupid’s bow and a deep dimple in his left cheek. His eyes were a vibrant blue that reminded me of the lakefront on the clearest summer day, and his body was built like a god. Plus, he always smelled good—you know, when he didn’t smell like some other girl’s perfume. I wasn’t in the business of smelling him often, but sometimes, he’d walk past me, and he’d smell so good I’d want to crawl into the curves of his body just to breathe him in—that is if I hadn’t hated him so much.
Then there was his voice. It was full and refined. Landon spoke like a man from old Hollywood, very Cary-Grant-like, with a smoothness to all of his words. Even when he seemed completely disconnected from a conversation, his words melted off his tongue like silk.
I could see why girls found him…attractive.
But none of that mattered.
“So, what’s your game plan?” Tracey asked.
I wasn’t certain how to answer. I didn’t have a game plan at all. Truth was, I was planning to stay far away from Landon for the next few months. I wasn’t too determined to make him fall in love with me; I was simply determined to make him lose his side of the bet. If it came out as a draw, that felt like a victory to me.
“I don’t have a plan.”
Tracey frowned. “Well, that’s underwhelming.”
We turned the corner, and there Landon was, standing at his locker, talking to some girl—probably a sophomore—who was pretty much throwing herself at him.
When he turned his head, he locked eyes with mine. Then, he smirked.
Oh, heck. Did I mention Landon’s smirk?
I was certain that smirk got some pregnant on the regular.
“Oh my gosh.” Tracey shivered, wrapping her arm around mine and hurrying me past Landon and his current fling. “You’re so going to lose this bet.”
“Thanks for your belief in me,” I huffed.
“I’m sorry, but he’s going to use that smirk to win, and it’s going to work.”
“What do you mean? How do you know it’s going to work?”
“Shay, he just had sex with you using only his eyes.”
I felt my cheeks heating up as I hugged my books to my chest. “What? No. Shut up, Tracey.”
“I’m just saying, it looked like he screwed you with solely his eyeballs. You should go check your panties to make sure you’re in the clear.”
I swore, my friend was a little too much sometimes. “That’s disgusting.”
“Oh no, there’s nothing disgusting about a good eye-fuck. That’s how Reggie gets me through our English lit class.”
“You and Reggie have sex with your eyes during English class?”
“Well, it’s more of a one-sided thing, but trust me, he’ll join in soon enough once he glances my way.”
I laughed at my ridiculous friend. “How is the Reggie thing going?” I needed to shift the conversation away from Landon, and I knew bringing up Reggie would do exactly that.
“We’re in the playing-hard-to-get stage of it all. He’s coming around, though. He gave me a nickname,” she said as we stopped by her locker to pick up her English book.
“Oh? What is it?”
She stood still and tall with the biggest smirk on her face. “Stacey.”
I blinked.
She rolled h
er eyes and lightly shoved me. “Okay, so he called me by the wrong name. Tacky, I know, but not everyone can have their sworn enemy eye-screwing them in the hallway.”
“We weren’t eye-screwing!”
“I bet he’s still looking at you right now,” she challenged.
“I bet he isn’t.”
We turned around, and Landon’s eyes were, in fact, on me, while the girl’s eyes were wide with excitement as they stayed superglued on him. Oh boy, maybe I was a bit bad at this betting thing.
Landon’s and my stare locked once more, and a chill raced over my body. Why was he still staring at me? Why did my heart flip when he looked my way?
He parted his lips a little, and his tongue darted out and swept over the bottom one before he bit it and dragged his teeth across it in slow motion. Then, he added in that smirk. The dimple appeared. The Gates of Hell opened up, and I was left speechless.
“Oh my gosh,” Tracey whispered, breaking my connection with Landon. “I think I just came for you.” She blushed, probably matching the redness of my cheeks, though her skin was much paler than mine, making it so much more obvious. I was thankful for my darkened skin, as it made it so much easier to hide whenever I felt a bit flustered.
And in that moment, Landon had left me a bit distraught.
I didn’t have a clue what I’d gotten myself into. I didn’t have a clue why I’d asked the Devil to dance with me, but I wasn’t going to let him or that dimple get to me. I planned to keep my distance, to avoid him at all costs. I couldn’t fall in love with him if I never let him near me.
Every day after school, I walked to Hadley Park. It was a beautiful place with a huge playground and amazing hiking trails. I’d been going to that park since I was a kid. I’d slid down those slides a million times with my parents and Mima. When my father wasn’t in his best shape, Mima would get me out of the house, and we’d build sand castles for hours. Then, she’d walk me down one of the trails toward the two biggest willow trees I’d ever seen. It was called the lovers tree. They were twisted together as one with their branches intertwined.
Landon & Shay - Part One: (The L&S Duet Book 1) Page 7
