The Freaks of Phreex
"Well, didn't I take care of you all right?" laughed the IncubatorBaby, leading John Dough from the throne-room and up a broad flight ofmarble stairs.
"Indeed you did," he answered, gratefully. "Really, my dear Chick, Ibelieve that dreadful kinglet would have eaten me but for you."
"'Course he would," said the Cherub, nodding gayly; "and won't he bewild when he finds there are no pancakes and maple-syrup for tea?"
John stopped short. "Aren't there?" he asked. "Oh, Chick! I'm afraidhe'll punish you for deceiving him."
"I don't mind," declared the child. "No one shall eat a friend ofmine that I've given my promise to take care of. So come along, JohnDough, and don't worry. I've got a lovely room on the top floor of thiscastle, and I'll share it with you."
So John mounted more marble steps, until finally Chick brought him to ahandsome apartment on the third story.
"Here we are!" cried the Baby. "Now, make yourself at home, John, forwe needn't fear the kinglet until to-morrow morning, and then he'llhave forgotten that I fooled him."
Our hero's first act was to take off the Blunderer's heavy armor andpile it in one corner of the room. When free from the weight of metalhe felt more like himself again, and walked to the window to view thescenery.
"It's a pretty place, Chick," he remarked.
"Oh, the Isle is all right," answered the child. "It's the people herethat are all wrong, as you'll soon find out. Do you ever eat, JohnDough?"
"Never," said John.
"Then, while you're waiting here, I'll go over to the dairy and get mymilk for tea. You don't mind if I leave you for a few minutes, do you?"
"Not at all," he declared. "But it has just started to rain, outside;you'll get wet, won't you?"
"That's nothing," laughed Chick. "I won't melt."
"It's different with me," said John, sadly. "If my gingerbread body gotsoaked it would fall to pieces."
"HELLO, NEIGHBOR"]
That made the little one laugh again, and it ran merrily from the roomand left John Dough alone to stare out of the window. There was aprojecting cornice overhead, so he had pushed his head well out toobserve the pretty scenery, when suddenly he heard a voice say, in atone of astonishment:
"Hello, neighbor!"
Turning toward the left, he saw sticking out of the next window tohis own a long bald head that slanted up to a peak, underneath whichappeared a little withered face that was smiling in a most friendlymanner.
John bowed politely.
"Well, well," said the owner of the bald head. "Here's anothercuriosity come to our island! Wait a minute, and I'll run in and makeyour acquaintance." So presently the bald head, which was perched uponthe body of a little, dried-up looking man, entered John's room andbowed politely.
"I'm Sir Pryse Bocks," he said, "and the remarkable thing about me isthat I'm an inventor, and a successful one. You, I perceive, are adelicatessen; a friend in knead; I might say, a Pan-American. Ha, ha!"
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," returned John, bowing. "But do notjoke about my person, Sir Pryse. I'm proud of it."
"I respect your pride, sir," said the other. "It's bread in the bone,doubtless. Ha, ha!"
John looked at him reproachfully, and the little man at once grew grave.
"This island is full of inventors," said he; "but they're all cranks,and don't amount to anything--except me."
"What have you invented?" asked John.
"This!" said the other, taking a little tube from his pocket. "You willnotice that it often rains--it's raining now, if you'll look outside.And the reason it rains is because the drops of water fall to the earthby the attraction of gravitation."
"I suppose so," said John.
"Now, what do people usually do when it rains?" asked the little man.
"They grumble," said John.
"Yes, and they use umbrellas--_umbrellas_, mind you, to keep themselvesdry!"
"And that is quite sensible," declared John.
The bald-headed one gave a scornful laugh. "It's ridiculous!" he said,angrily. "An umbrella is a big, clumsy thing, that the wind jerksout of your hand, or turns inside out; and it's a nuisance to carryit around; and people always borrow it and never bring it back. Anumbrella, sir, is a humbug! A relic of the Dark Ages! I've done awaywith the use of umbrellas entirely, by means of this invention--thislittle tube, which can be carried in one's pocket!"
He held up a small instrument that looked like a tin whistle.
"How curious!" said John.
"Isn't it? You see, within this tube is stored a Power of Repulsionthat overcomes the Attraction of Gravitation, and sends the rain-dropsflying upward again. You stick the tube in your hat-band and walk outboldly into the rain. Immediately all the rain-drops shoot up into theair, and before they can fall again you have passed on! It's always drywhere the wearer of this tube goes, for it protects him perfectly. Andwhen it stops raining, you put it in your pocket again and it's allready for another time. Isn't it great, sir? Isn't it wonderful? Isn'tthe inventor of this tube the greatest man in the world?"
"I'd like to try it," said John, "for no one needs protection from therain more than I do. Being made of gingerbread, it would ruin me to getwet."
"True," agreed the other. "I'll lend you the tube, with pleasure. Stickit in your hat-band."
"I have no hat," said John; and then he remembered that he had leftboth the baker's hat and his candy cane lying on the sands where he hadfirst fallen.
"Well, carry the tube in your hand, then," said the inventor. "It willwork just as well that way, but it's not so convenient."
So John took the tube; and having thanked the bald-headed man for hiskindness, he left the room and walked down the stairs and through thebig, empty hall, and so out into the courtyard.
The rain seemed to have driven every one in doors, for not a personcould he see.
Holding the tube upright, he boldly walked into the rain; and it gavehim great pleasure to notice that not a drop fell near him. Indeed,by looking upward, he could see the falling drops stop short and thenfly toward the clouds; and he began to believe that the bald-headedinventor was really as great a man as he claimed to be.
After descending the slippery path through the rocks, he crossed thepatch of green, and at last reached the sandy shore, where he found thebaker's hat, soaked through by the rain. As he lifted it he saw thecrooked handle of the candy cane sticking out of the sand, and drew itforth to find it in excellent condition, little of the dampness havingreached it.
But now, as John Dough began to retrace his steps, he discovered thathis feet were soft and swollen. For he had been walking on the dampground and through the wet grass; and although no rain had fallen uponhis body, his feet were getting to be in a dangerous condition, and thelicorice in them had become sticky. After he had recrossed the grassand come to the edge of the rocks he began to be frightened, for bitsof his left heel now commenced to crumble and drop in the path; andwhen he tried walking on his flabby toes, they were so soggy and softthat he knew they would not last very long.
While he paused, bewildered, another calamity overtook him. For thetube suddenly lost its power of repulsion and ceased to work, and therain-drops began to pelt his unprotected body and sink into his flesh.He looked around with a groan of dismay, and discovered a round hole,or tunnel, in the rock nearby. Staggering toward this, he entered thetunnel and found that now no rain could reach him. The floor was smoothand dry, and in the far distance he saw a light twinkling.
Not daring to walk farther upon his mushy feet, John got down on hishands and knees and began crawling toward the farther end of thetunnel. He made slow progress, in that position; but soon he heard anoise of machinery, and felt the warm air of a furnace coming to meethim. That gave him courage to proceed, and he crawled onward until hehad reached a large, circular chamber, where a tall man with whiskersthat resembled those of a billy-goat was busily working among a numberof machines.
"Hello!" this personage exclaimed, as he saw the gingerbread man. "Whathave we here?"
The voice and eyes were alike kindly; so John told the man his storyand asked permission to dry his feet at the glowing furnace.
"Make yourself at home," said the man, and turned to his work again.
The place was lighted by electricity, and was warm and comfortable.John put his feet as near to the furnace as he dared, and soon felt theheat drying up his soaked feet. It was not long, indeed, before hisentire body was as crisp and solid as ever; and then our hero stoodupon his feet and found that the damage to his heel would not interferemuch with his walking.
"What are you doing?" he asked the man.
"Making diamonds," replied the other, calmly. "I suppose I am the onlyone in the world who ever succeeded in making real diamonds; butpeople did not believe in me, you see, so they sent me to the Isle ofPhreex. Here I have manufactured the finest diamonds the world has everknown, for no one interferes with my work. Look at these."
He threw back the lid of a large tin box, and John saw that it was fullto the brim with sparkling gems of a clear white color.
"Take some," said the man, offering him a handful. "They are of nouse to me here, because I cannot dispose of them. But I have thesatisfaction of making them, just the same. Help yourself!"
"No, thank you," said John. "I have no use for diamonds, any more thanyou have."
"But the time may come when riches will be a great help to you," saidthe man, and picking out three very big stones he began pressing theminto John Dough's gingerbread body, one after the other.
"There!" he exclaimed. "They are now safely concealed, and if you everneed them you can dig them out and sell them. Those three stones wouldbe worth several thousand dollars if you ever get into the world again,where diamonds are valued."
"You are very generous," said John.
"Oh, not at all, I assure you!" said the man, wagging his goatlikebeard with every word he spoke. "In this curious island there is novalue to anything whatever, not even to life. All I can do with mydiamonds here is to stick them into the kinglet's crown and sceptre;so I'm getting a big stock of them laid by. Very soon I shall beginstudding the roof of the throne-room with diamonds, and it will be apretty sight to see them glittering in one mass."
"Well," said our hero, "if it has stopped raining, I believe I'll bidyou good-by."
"Never mind the rain," answered the man. "Here is a winding staircasethat leads directly upward into the castle. If you go that way, therain cannot reach you. The tunnel through which you entered is onlyused for ventilation."
John thanked the good-natured diamond-maker and started to climb thestairs. There were a good many steps, but after a while he came to agallery of the castle, and had little difficulty in finding the passagethat led to his own room.
THE MUSICIAN THREW HIMSELF UPON THE PIANO]
As he walked along he heard the sound of a piano, and paused at an opendoor to peer within the room, for he imagined some one was poundingupon the keys of the piano with a sledge-hammer. But immediately afluffy-haired man looked up and saw him, and the next instant pouncedupon the gingerbread man in much the same way that a cat would pounceupon a rat, and seized him fast, drew him into the room, and closed andlocked the door.
John was astonished, but the fluffy-haired musician began pacing up anddown the room, swinging his arms and shouting:
"I have it! I have it at last! I am great! I am magnificent! I ambetter than Vogner himself!" He paused to glare upon John. "Why don'tyou shout, you baked idiot? Why don't you weep with joy?" he cried. "Itis great, I tell you! It is great!"
"What is great?" asked John.
"The symphonie! The divine symphonie, you heartless molasses-cake, ordevil's food, or whatever you are! And I composed it--_I_--TietjamusToips! I am greater than Vogner!"
"I didn't hear it," said the gingerbread man.
The musician threw himself upon the piano, and produced a succession ofsuch remarkable sounds that John was surprised.
"Did you understand it?" demanded the fluffy-haired one, jumping upagain.
"No," said John.
"No! Of course not! No one can understand it. It is genius! It will beplayed at all the great concerts. The critics will write columns inpraise of it. Some folks can understand Vogner a little. No one canunderstand _me_ at all! I am wonderful! I am superb!"
"Well," said John, "I'm not a judge. It seemed to me like awfuldiscord."
The musician threw himself upon his knees and burst into tears.
"Thank you, my friend!--my _dear_ friend!" said he, between the sobs."Such praise gladdens my heart and makes me very happy! Ah! gloriousmoment, in which I produce music that is not understood and sounds likediscord!"
John left the musician still shedding tears of happiness, and walked tohis room.
"The people of this island are certainly peculiar," he reflected; "andI am very glad indeed that I am an ordinary gingerbread man, and not acrank."
He found the bald-headed inventor of the power of repulsion awaitinghim in the room.
"Well, how did the tube please you? Is it not wonderful?" he inquired.
"It's wonderful enough when it works," said John; "but it suddenlyquit working, and nearly ruined me."
"Ah, the power became exhausted," returned the man, calmly. "But thatis nothing. It can be easily renewed."
"However," John remarked, "I think that whenever any one uses your tubeas a protection from the rain, he should also carry an umbrella to usein case of accident."
"An umbrella! Bah!" cried the inventor, and left the room in a rage,slamming the door behind him.
John Dough and the Cherub Page 6
