by Peter Styles
“Do you mean…”
“Yes,” Rosenfeld said. “That’s exactly what I mean. I’d be crazy to let a talented doctor like you get away.”
I floated through the rest of the day on cloud nine knowing that, despite everything that had happened, my future at Vanderbilt was secure.
A couple of days later, Mark and I were sitting in the break room eating lunch when Alex Trevayne came in. He was as haughty as ever, ignoring me and chatting with Mark.
“So, you haven’t RSVP’d to my mom’s even yet,” Alex said. “Your mom said she wants us to come by after and hang out.”
For a moment, Mark looked supremely uncomfortable. But then he straightened in his chair and slung an arm over the back of mine. “I want to RSVP, but I need to add a plus one.”
Alex narrowed his eyes. “Who are you bringing?”
Mark glanced over at me and smiled before turning back to Alex. “Jason is going to be my date. We’ve been…uh…well, we’re together now.”
I nearly choked on my sweet and sour pork.
If Alex had been eating anything, I thought he probably would have choked, too. But he blinked away the shock and confusion and finally nodded. “Can’t say I’m not disappointed.” His gaze slid over to me, and I thought I saw more animosity than usual. Or maybe resentment was a better word. “You know, Mark and I go way back,” he said.
I recognized his comment for what it was. This was him getting the last word. Somehow, I found that it didn’t bother me much. He may have gotten the last word, but I had Mark.
I shot him a smug look. “That’s nice. Maybe we can double date sometime. Are you seeing anyone?”
Jake huffed and pushed up from the table without answering. “I’ll tell my mom you’re coming.”
After he left the break room, I rounded on Mark. “That was fucking awesome. But in the future, maybe you could warn a guy.”
Mark shrugged. “Okay, consider this your warning. I’m not hiding anymore.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, tapped the screen, then put it to his ear. “Hi, Mother.”
I gaped at him and whispered, “What are you doing?”
“Yeah, listen,” he said. “I finally RSVP’d to Mrs. Trevayne’s event. Yes, I’m looking forward to it, too, but I’m afraid I won’t be joining you for the get-together afterward. I’m bringing a date. Well, I can’t help that. Ariel Trevayne is too young for me, and you know it. And besides, I’m already seeing someone.” He paused, rolling his eyes, and I could see how nervous he was. “It’s Jason Whitham. You know, the one you were rude to in my apartment the other day.”
I heard what sounded like chastising coming through the phone. Not exactly the most romantic coming out ever, but I couldn’t help the feeling of pride that surged in me. Mark had done it. He’d come out to his mother. It was a huge step.
Mark pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it. “She hung up on me.”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “She’ll come around. I’m sure of it.”
Mark nodded. “She will. She may be a bitch, but she loves me.” He offered me a sheepish grin. “Guess that was a pretty cowardly way to do it. Over the phone.”
“Not at all. I thought it was very brave, especially for a guy who was firmly in the closet a few days ago. Mothers are scary as hell. Which reminds me.” I pulled my own phone out of my pocket. “I have my own call to make.” At Mark’s bewildered expression, I said, “I can’t let you show me up.”
When my mother answered the phone, I nearly chickened out. But then I thought of how fearless Mark had just been and said, “Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“We’re fine,” she said in her usual flat tone. The one she reserved for me. I would have felt better if she’d yelled at me like Mark’s mom had done to him. At least it would have proven that she had some sort of feeling when it came to me. The apathy was much worse, but it served to make me angry and strengthen my resolve.
“Look, Mom. I have something to tell you.”
“Is this about the money?” she asked. “You’re a few days late sending it this month, and it caused me to bounce some checks at the bank. I’m not complaining, but I may need a little bit extra to make up for it.”
I swallowed. “Yes, it’s about the money. I’m going to send it to you this month, and I’ll throw in a couple hundred extra to make up for the bounced checks. But Mom… This will be the last time I send you money.”
“What?” she asked, shock apparent in her voice. Finally some emotion, I thought, even if it wasn’t the one I wanted.
“Yeah, I’ve helped you and Dad long enough. It’s time for me to quit living like a pauper and keep my own money. I can’t afford to support myself when I’m sending you nearly every penny I make.”
“But what will we do?” she asked. “Your father is sick.”
“I know that, but I’ve been looking into some programs that could help you. It won’t be as much as I’ve been sending, but it will help, especially if you guys sell the house and get something cheaper.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said, her voice edged with anger now. “After we raised you, this is what we get? We didn’t even turn our backs on you when you humiliated the entire family. Do you know how hard it is having a gay for a son? You should see the looks we get at church.”
“Maybe you should change churches,” I said. “After you sell the house, maybe you can find a more tolerant church in your new neighborhood. Or just keep me a secret. You haven’t considered me part of the family for a long time, anyway.”
Mark took my hand in his, wrapping his warm fingers around mine and squeezing. His show of support helped me push back the rising panic I was feeling. Because this was it. My family had all but disowned me when I’d come out, and now I was disowning them back. It hurt, but at the same time, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I was just about to tell my mom that I’d still be around if she ever just wanted to talk, but the phone line went dead.
“Well,” I told Mark, shoving my phone back into my pocket. “We’re two for two. She hung up on me.”
“Fuck ‘em,” Mark said, surprising me with a grin. “We’re together, and that’s all that matters. And for the record, I’m proud of you for standing up to your mom. You work damn hard for that money, Jason. You shouldn’t have to hand it all over and get nothing but derision in return. Maybe they’ll come around, and maybe they won’t, but at least you’ve stood up for yourself.”
I threw my arms around his neck, not caring now if anyone walked in and found us there. We were really doing this. We were a couple, and even the lingering guilt about my family and the horror of the Terwilliger incident couldn’t put a damper on my euphoria. Mark was finally mine, and dammit, I was happy. So happy that I literally giggled when he wound his strong fingers in my hair and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.
Epilogue
Jason
Two months almost to the day after Mark and I had shared our first kiss, I found myself standing in the banquet room of the country club surrounded by men and women in their finest outfits. It was my first big social event, and I was nervous as hell.
Lyla Johnson grabbed my black tie and dragged me to her. “This thing is a mess,” she said. “Who in the world taught you how to tie a Windsor knot?”
“YouTube,” I admitted with a wince. “I thought I did a pretty good job.”
“Well, you didn’t.” She proceeded to re-tie it for me with nimble fingers that had obviously done this a lot over the years. “There,” she said when she was done. She patted the tie and straightened my lapels. Then she did that annoying thing she always did, picking invisible specs of lint from my perfectly clean black jacket.
I stood back and let her inspect me, feeling stiff and uncomfortable in the suit even though it cost more than a good used car. “How do I look? I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear her answer.
She smiled. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was more than I ever though
t I’d get from her when we’d first met. “You look very handsome.” And then she pinched my cheek.
Arthur Johnson approached, looking dapper in his own black suit. I was always amazed at how much his son favored him, and I thought maybe I could see what Mark would look like a few years down the road when his hair had started to gray. I had to say I was almost looking forward to it. Arthur was a very handsome man.
“Where’s Mark?” I asked.
“He’s in the back having a drink with the some of the men. Lionel Trevayne brought cognac, of course.”
I felt a pang of rejection at not having been invited to join them, but the truth was, I would rather have been out here with Lyla. And that was saying a lot.
Lionel must have seen the disappointment in my expression. He patted my shoulder and said, “He’ll be out in just a minute. They cornered him on his way out of the restroom, and he didn’t want to be impolite.”
A few minutes later, Mark came into the room, and I knew I’d never seen a more gorgeous man. Mark in a black suit was a walking spank bank. I couldn’t help the smile that overtook my face.
He approached with a smile that matched mine in intensity. His parents politely took their leave after taking turns hugging their son, and Mark took my hand in his. “So…” he said with a mischievous grin. “Do you think I’ve earned it now?”
“Earned what?” I asked, playing dumb.
He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “That ass, Dr. Whitham. I think I’ve waited long enough.”
I laughed. “Hey, I’ve tried to give it to you every night since we got back from the lake. You’re the one who insisted you hadn’t earned it yet.”
His smile turned tender. “I wanted you to know I was serious. If you’d had a single moment of doubt about my intentions, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”
“Or maybe you just like getting fucked too much,” I teased.
His face turned bright red, and he looked around to make sure there was no one to overhear. Then he leaned in and said, “I do love being your bottom boy.”
“Mmmm…” I wound my arms around his neck and leaned in close, nipping his earlobe with my teeth. “What time is it?” I said where only he could hear. “Maybe we have time to slip off to the locker room. I could lock the door and bend you over one of the benches. Remind you who owns that ass.”
“Mark,” Reverend Calvert called from across the room.
Both Mark and I jumped, and we split apart like two halves of the Red Sea.
“Be right there, Reverend Calvert.” Mark pulled me along behind him, toward the elderly preacher who waited with a smile on his lined face.
“So nice to see you boys again,” he said. “There’s quite a crowd here. Are you ready to begin?”
Mark gave a terse nod, his stiffness giving away his nerves. “Let’s do this.”
I rolled my eyes and faced him. “Could you possibly be any more romantic?”
“I’ll show you how romantic I can be later, babe. Right now, let’s just get married.”
I looked out over the crowd of finely-dressed guests, including all of our friends and acquaintances from the country club and the hospital. Dr. Rosenfeld stood beside the Johnsons, looking for all the world like a proud father, and Roberta Collins stood on the other side of him, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. Alex was there, of course. He and I still weren’t bosom buddies or anything, but we’d forged a truce of sorts, and it wasn’t too bad.
As Reverend Calvert started reciting his piece, I barely heard him. Even when I was repeating my own vows, I was somewhere else. Lost in Mark’s dark eyes as he stood proudly in front of me, claiming me in front of God and everybody, and being claimed by me in return.
“Could I have the rings, please?” Reverend Calvert asked.
I’d expected Mark to pull them from his jacket pocket like we’d rehearsed. Instead, he squatted low to the floor and whistled. “Who wants a treat?” he called, and everyone laughed at that. Especially Joe the baker, whose eyes shone with pride from the front of the crowd. His daughter stood at his side, grinning maniacally.
To my surprise and amazement, Bill came trotting from the back of the room with a ring pillow tied around his neck. The bells on the corners of the pillow jingled with every step. He came right up to Mark, who traded him a fish treat for the ring pillow, and more laughter rang out. Bill ran off to maul his treat in a corner of the room while Mark handed the ring pillow to Reverend Calvert and removed one of the matching white gold bands. I took the other and faced him.
“I love you, J,” he said in a voice choked with tears. He took my trembling hand in his and slipped the ring on my finger.
“I love you, too,” I whispered before sliding his ring on. “Always.”
I’m sure the guests at our wedding would have been shocked to learn it was the first time either of us had said those words to each other. When Mark had proposed, it was to keep me from going back to my apartment. I’d been on my way out the door, and he’d asked me not to go. I can’t just move in here, I’d said, to which he replied, Marry me, then.
In a way, it was more romantic than any flowery words he could have come up with, because he’d meant it. No discussion, no doubt, just marry me. And I’d said yes.
And now it was done. No turning back now. Not that I’d want to in a million years. This was my dream come true, and I was damn well going to spend the rest of my life appreciating it.
After the ceremony, we climbed into the Porsche, which someone had thoughtfully decorated with magnetic penis decals, and drove to the Gaylord Hotel. It was the fanciest place in town, and Mark had reserved a killer suite for us. We’d opted not to leave town for our honeymoon because we wanted to be fucking within an hour of getting married. Shallow, yes, but we’d waited long enough for what Mark had in mind.
He was on me as soon as I closed the door. We ripped each other’s clothes off in record time, and Mark threw me roughly onto the bed. “Have I earned it?” he growled, falling on top of me with a bottle of lube he’d stashed in the Porsche.
“Yes,” I gasped, spreading my legs wide and wrapping them tightly around his waist. “I can’t wait to feel that big cock inside me. God, I’ve waited so long.”
“Why do you think I was in such a hurry to marry you, babe?” He popped open the top of the lube bottle and coated his fingers. Then he pressed one inside me and grinned wickedly when I started squirming on it.
“You didn’t have to wait,” I said. “As I’ve pointed out a hundred times, I’ve been ready.”
Mark looked deeply into my eyes as he moved his finger in and out of my tight channel. “I didn’t want to rush it, J. You have no idea what this means to me. To know that this is all mine.” He twisted his finger, eliciting a decadent groan from me. “And to know that I earned it makes it even sweeter.”
“You earned it a long time ago, as far as I’m concerned. You’re a good man, and— Oh, God…” I hissed and bucked my hips up off the bed, chasing his finger, begging for more. “What you’re doing to me down there. It’s fucking amazing. Don’t stop.”
With a low chuckle, he dipped his head and nipped gently at the sensitive flesh of my throat, my jaw, my bottom lip. “I’ll never be good enough for you, J. Don’t you get that? Nothing I do will ever be what you deserve. You deserve perfection, and I’m just… me. The spoiled rich brat. The guy who was such a coward he couldn’t even be honest about who he was with the world. If you hadn’t come along, I might have stayed hidden for the rest of my life. You saved me, J. And now, from this day forward, I’m going to do everything in my power to prove how much you mean to me.”
He leaned up on the bed and watched his finger move in and out of me, smiling at my unbridled moans and at the way I was coming undone beneath him. And then he slid a second finger inside me, and I arched up off the bed in pure ecstasy. He continued to torment me with his fingers, eventually adding a third, and soon I was a writhing, begging wreck.
�
��Enough,” I moaned. “It’s been twenty-eight years, Mark. I need you now. Wanna feel you inside me.”
“But I thought the buildup was the best part,” he teased. “So many guys just want to fuck, but you and I? We’re deeper than that.”
“Speak for yourself. Right now, I just want to get fucked.” I clamped down on the three fingers that were still inside me, hoping to tempt him in. “Please, Mark.”
He knelt up over me and locked our gazes. “You are so gorgeous. Do you know that?” He leaned down and stole my lips in a heated kiss that had my cock throbbing. He pulled back with a naughty smirk. “Especially when you beg for my cock.”
“Oh, God, Mark,” I reeled him in with my legs and tried my best to work him into me, but he refused to let me take control. “Pleeeease…”
Finally, he showed me mercy and slowly pushed the swollen head of his cock against my hole. A needy groan rumbled up from deep in my chest.
“Yes,” I gasped when he pushed a little harder, and I could feel the beast between his legs working its way inside me. It sent a shiver down my spine. “I want you so much. I want you to claim me. I want to be yours forever.”
Tears gathered in his eyes as he pushed, and the head of his cock popped inside. “You’re already mine forever. You just don’t know it yet.”
I let out a long, tortured moan at the feel of him inside me. “So big,” I finally managed to choke out, and then I was moaning again as he thrust all the way inside. It felt like he was cleaving me in two. I was both physically and emotionally raw, bared to him in every way possible—my ass offered up for his cock to plunder, my heart beating only for him. I didn’t even know anymore where pleasure ended and love began. They were one and the same that night, and it was the most glorious thing I’d ever felt.
I leaned up and kissed him while he gave my body time to acclimate to his ridiculous size, and then when the initial sting of pain started to subside, I started to squirm on him. He took the hint and rocked hard into me, causing me to suck in a breath.
