by Alex Raizman
“Then we should hurry.” They picked up the pace, and a couple blocks later - around the time they were hearing sirens approaching - they got to the exit point Crystal and Ryan had established. I wonder what happens to her ship now. I guess I can use it? At least until this is all over.
The door opened, and they stepped into the planetarium. Athena unceremoniously dumped Crystal’s body on the floor.
“Hey! Be careful with her!” Ryan almost reached for what little power he had left to lash out at Athena. How dare she? Crystal was dead and if it weren’t for Athena, she’d be alive still! That wasn’t entirely fair - Moloch and Bast and Enki bore the brunt of responsibility - but Ryan didn’t care at the moment. He needed someone to take blame for Crystal’s death, and Athena was the closest person he could reasonably cast in that role.
Athena scowled at him like he’d just gotten mad at her for throwing away a tattered rag. “Why? It’s empty. Just a load of meat.”
That was it. Ryan took a step forward, clenching his fists. They shook from the tension. It didn’t matter that he was almost too weak to stand, it didn’t matter that Athena had thousands of years of fighting experience on him. Right now, Ryan wanted to punch her in the face until she felt something other than disrespect. “Just a load of...she was my friend! And now she’s dead! Because of you! Show some damn respect!”
That got a reaction out of her. Athena stepped forward and shoved Ryan in the chest with a single hand, using her free hand to slap his pathetic attempt at a punch aside. As he stumbled back, she was the one clenching her fists, and her lips twisted in bitter fury. “Respect? Respect? I left Týr behind to save her. And you were too Hungry to carry him, which is why I had to make that choice. So forgive me if I don’t show respect for her meat!” The last words came out in a sarcastic snarl, tinged with bits of indignation.
Ryan stepped closer, anger dulling the pain. He was ready to throw down, right here and right now. How dare you act like I owe you something! “If it wasn’t for you, she’d still be alive! You were helping Enki!”
“And it’s because of me she’ll get to fight another day!” Athena spat, her eyes narrowed in fury to match his own.
“Well...wait, what?” Ryan felt himself deflate. It suddenly was an effort to stand again as confusion and hope obliterated rage in an instant. “What do you...fight another day?”
Athena stared at him, then let out a long breath. “Oh, you’re not a callous prick. You didn’t know. Ishtar didn’t tell you? As long as her nanoverse is secure, she’ll reform.”
Relief washed over Ryan, followed by his old friend embarrassment. “Oh. Uh...Crystal did tell me that, but…”
Athena sighed, and there was a bitter edge to it. “I guess forgetting is understandable. You’ve never seen someone die before, right?” Ryan shook his head. He’d seen people after they died, but it was something entirely different to actually watch the life go out of someone. “Well, time to get used to it. It sure as hell won’t be the last time you see it.”
“Wait…” Ryan’s brow furrowed. “Leaving him behind means Týr-”
“Bast will likely destroy his nanoverse, yes. He will not reform.” Athena clenched her hands again. “I had to make a choice, Eschaton. All I know about what’s really going on was based on what Enki fed us, which seems less reliable now. Ishtar might know the truth. She’s also one of the most powerful of the gods. If we want to fight back, we’re going to need her. There wasn’t time to search for Týr’s nanoverse. So I let my friend die to save our best hope. Please, yell at me again for not treating Ishtar’s meat with kindness.”
Ryan winced “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”
“-no, you did not. Why did you act to protect us?”
Ryan blinked at the abrupt change of topic. He hadn’t even had time to process his relief that Crystal was alive, let alone that Athena seemed to be switching sides. “Well, we couldn’t let those people just get torn apart after you and Týr were dead.”
“Why not? You’re going to end the world, Eschaton. What does it matter when and how they die?”
“We were - are, I guess - trying to find a way to end the world without resorting to mass murder. If we don’t, everyone dies. At least, that’s what Crystal said. But we might be able to find a better option. Something where not everyone dies, or no one dies, or...anything other than total annihilation.”
Athena bit her lip in thought, and Ryan took time to really take stock of his new companion. She looked like the goddess she was, reminding Ryan of the women sculped in ancient Greece. He’d seen statues of Athena in history books, and while they weren’t perfect, he could definitely believe that she’d modelled for at least some of them. But she was…sharper. More defined. Those statues had always had a softness to them, a trait Athena lacked in person. “And how would one end the world without killing everyone?”
Ryan shrugged. “We hadn’t gotten there yet. We’ve been too busy trying to teach me how to be a god, and trying to keep you all from letting the sun blow up and scorch the world barren.”
Athena frowned. “I’m sorry, but the sun blowing up?”
Hah. I know something you don’t. “Why do you think we’re going to end the world? Crystal can explain it better than me. But...apparently the only way to save the sun from going supernova on us is to end the world. If we do, the energy from that can...it can reset the ticking clock on the sun. Crystal never mentioned it?”
Athena’s frown deepened. “No, she did not.”
“I guess she thought I needed to know what was going to happen.” You pestered her until she told you, but no need for Athena to know that little detail. Ryan smiled. “I don’t understand it. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe it. But apparently, I won’t be able to end the world if it isn’t true, so...I’m doing my best to roll with it.”
Athena rolled her eyes. “I’m surprised you’re not sick of that phrase. Ishtar’s always been one for her catchphrases. They grew tiresome even back when I liked her.”
I am, but no way am I going to tell you that. “Well, someone’s got to say it without her around.”
“No. No, no one needs to.” Athena sighed. “It’s not important. I’ll have her explain it when she resurrects.” Ryan wondered if she really thought it was unimportant, or if she was just saying it to get him to stop talking about it. Probably the latter.
“Fine. At this point I’m just kind of hoping you have some idea what Enki is planning to do next - we have been kind of fumbling blind.”
“No,” Athena said, with a shake of her head for emphasis. “And even if I had been given that information, we could not trust it. It’s apparent that Enki intended to sacrifice Týr and me this entire time. That means I’m as blind as you are.”
Ryan really wanted to get off the topical roller coaster talking to Athena was becoming. “Wait, back up. How is that apparent? It was Bast who shot Týr and Crystal, and Moloch was obviously working with her.”
“The anti-gravity trick. Clever, but Enki should have been able to undo that in less than thirty seconds. The only reason he wouldn’t have come back to the fight…” She deliberately trailed off, looking at him expectantly.
“Was if he knew what was coming. To keep up appearances, he would have had to join us against the creature, and put himself in danger.”
“Good, you’re not a complete imbecile. I was beginning to worry.”
It was Ryan’s turn to purse his lips. “Gee, thanks for that.”
Athena shrugged. “I’m not Ishtar. I don’t have time to coddle you, and I’m not here to worry about your feelings. We have to survive until Ishtar revives, and since I did have a hand in her death, it falls on me to teach you how to not die. I won’t tell you not to mouth off to me - I just want you to understand I won’t care if you do.”
Ryan sighed. I suddenly miss being told to roll with it. “Are you always this pleasant?”
Athena’s nostrils flared. “I lost a friend today. Again. Please, forgive me for
not worrying about your feelings.”
Ryan winced, knowing better to pry at that ‘again’. “No, I get it. I’m sorry for your loss.” She nodded, a simple acknowledgement of what he had said. Ryan continued. “Can I ask...I mean, I’m not ungrateful, but...why? I mean, besides the tactical reason you mentioned.”
“Why did I choose her instead of Týr? You really want to go into that now?” Athena pursed her lips and answered before Ryan could. “No, you’re right. The more you know about how we think; the better things will go for you. A few factors...is there anything to eat here?”
Ryan nodded, walking over to the banks of touchscreens. “I’ll see if I can figure out how to call the food.”
Athena nodded and moved to sit down. A chair appeared as she did so - that, at least, seemed to still be automatic. “For starters, it was what Týr would have wanted. He always loved that sort of thing.” Here Athena did give a ghostly smile, a small gesture that didn’t seem to be tinged with any kind of bitter edge. “I don’t think he ever would have forgiven me had I let a ‘maiden’ die to save him.”
Ryan returned the grin. Knowing Crystal was going to be alright put him at ease. Damn, imagine what this must be like for Athena. “He seemed like that type of guy.” The buttons were all in a language Ryan recognized vaguely from inscriptions in Cipher Nullity.
“He was.” She sighed, and the bitter edge returned. “But there were also other practical considerations, aside from what we’ve already covered. Unless you need a repeat of that?” Ryan didn’t think he’d be likely to need a recap, and shook his head. She continued, “Enki seemed particularly concerned with one or both of you. You pose a threat to him in some fashion. But even more importantly, the monster that would have born of her permanent death would be far, far worse than what will come from Týr.”
Ryan blinked a few times, as if fluttering his eyes would make his ears relay information that they had missed the first time around. It did not help. “I’m sorry, what’s that last one?”
“Endless void, did Ishtar tell you anything?”
“Uh…” Ryan rubbed the back of his neck. “When I asked too many questions, she usually told me to just roll with it. That I wasn’t able to process the information because I was Nascent.” Realizing how that made Crystal sound, he continued. “Of course, we were also focused on things that were pressing, y’know? Like the end of the world and Enki and all that.”
Athena took a moment to process that. “I guess that was the best course of action. But this you should know. Hecatoncheires and their ilk, all sort of abominations, form from when a nanoverse is destroyed and its god is dead. The older the god, the more potent the abomination. I can’t imagine what would have formed from one as old as her.”
Ryan swallowed hard. “I think this one is for food.” He pushed the button, and the refrigerator appeared. “Huh. That worked.”
“Why wouldn’t it have?” Athena walked over and grabbed a sandwich out. She tossed one to Ryan as well.
“Well, they weren’t written in a language I know.”
“And that was a barrier for you?” Athena took a bite of her sandwich. She swallowed before Ryan could respond and continued, “Your lack of knowledge could easily get you - and us - killed. Slake your hungers, Eschaton, and then once you’ve rested I’ll take up your education until Ishtar revives. And before you ask - I can’t be certain how long that will take. It varies.”
“Okay. Uh, about the need for Comp-”
“No.” The flatness to the word stopped Ryan short, and his ears reddened at even making the implication.
“Okay, yeah, that makes sense.” Ryan took another bite of his sandwich. “I’m going to...figure some way to keep her body safe.”
“As you wish.” Athena leaned back in her chair, eating. “Once you’ve taken care of the Hungers, we’ll start with the basics.”
“What’s the basics?”
“You don’t know how to make your door. We’re going to go to your nanoverse. You’re a god now, Eschaton - you should learn how to actually be one.”
Chapter 11
Into the Nanoverse
The rest of the day was filled with making sure their Hungers were satiated with books and food and sleep. It wasn’t until the next day that they sat down to open Ryan's nanoverse.
"So Ishtar didn't speak with you on how to open it? At all?" Athena frowned.
"Nope. Like I said, we had more pressing matters. And she prefers Crystal."
"She can address that with me when she revives, if she wishes to," Athena said dismissively. "And yet she brought you to her own. Fascinating."
Ryan blinked at that. "Uh, no, she didn't."
Athena cocked her head just a fraction. "Eschaton," she said, and here Athena made no effort not to let her tone how condescending she felt. It was the same way you’d talk to a child that had just said something both adorable and stupid. "Where do you think we are?"
"Well, I've been thinking of it as her planetarium ship. Because of...the stars."
Ryan hadn’t ever thought what being patiently condescended to would sound like, but Athena was giving him a lesson. “Planetarium ship...first of all, it’s a staging area. And now, please, try to think. A field of stars and galaxies. And when you look into your nanoverse, what do you see?"
Ryan felt his cheeks flush as he glanced around. It never even occurred to him - but the celestial field that surrounded them did look a lot like what he saw when he stared into his nanoverse.
"So, this is the interior of a nanoverse?"
Athena nodded. Then paused and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I guess I shouldn’t expect you to know these things instinctively,” she allowed. “I just cannot believe how little Ishtar told you. You...really have no idea about anything.”
“I mean, she did say it could fry my brain if she told me too much.”
Athena just stared at him for a long moment, then burst out into peals of mocking laughter. “She said it would...oh stars of Olympus, she told you it would fry your brain?”
Ryan frowned. “What’s so funny about that?” He had a sinking feeling he knew the answer but was hoping he was wrong.
“I just can’t believe you fell for that. I suppose that would be a good way to get you to stop asking questions.” Athena had gotten the laughter under control, but still looked amused.
For his part, Ryan was in full on blush. “How was I supposed to know any better? I get told I’m a god, that I’m going to end the world or everyone dies, and I’m the moron for thinking that takes it too far?”
Athena studied him for a moment, the smirk fading. “I guess when you put it that way...I shouldn’t judge. Let me make it up to you.”
“I thought you didn’t have time to worry about my feelings.”
“Don’t push it, Eschaton.” Athena’s eyes flashed with a bit of sardonic humor.
Ryan smiled. "Well, how about you call me Ryan instead?"
"Very well." By the look on her face, he'd just asked her to pull out her fingernails. Apparently, the moment was over, and she was back to tolerating him. "I'll...attempt. It's accurate to say this is inside her nanoverse. The first area - a staging area, as I said. All nanoverses have it, and can be used to control where doors open outside by aligning the nanoverse with the core universe."
"Okay, that kind of makes sense." Ryan chewed his cheek for a moment. "Only, wait. She has her nanoverse on her as well."
"Yes." Athena thought for a moment. "Oh. I now understand why Ishtar often asked you to just - what did you say it was?"
"Roll with it," Ryan said.
Athena nodded. "Yes, that was it. You can take a nanoverse within another nanoverse, and you can even take a nanoverse within a copy of itself. Don’t try to think too hard about it, Ryan. The nanoverse is the physical object in the universe we all share, but it’s also a separate place. When you take it inside itself...well, the mechanics can be explained later. For now, I'd appreciate it if you could let that pass.
"
"I’ve gotten used to rolling with it. So I'll have an area like this?"
"Since this is what you saw at first, yes, it'll be like this. Over time it will change to suit your individual tastes. Now, opening a door - for starters, it's best to have your Nanoverse in hand. Later on you won't need it."
Ryan nodded. "Okay. So then I...do what?"
"You open it. Try whatever makes the most sense - it's not something your higher brain needs to be involved with."
Ryan felt stupid, but remembered squeezing the nanoverse the first time and how silly that had felt. Okay, it's too small to try to fold a hole out of, so what if I... Feeling too absurd to even finish the thought, with nanoverse in hand, he reached out to about waist height and twisted, like he was turning a doorknob.
As he did, he heard the click of a latch, and a door opened. "Oh holy shit."
Athena almost smiled. "You do have a knack for it, it seems. Go through - I'll be right behind you."
The room beyond did look a lot like Crystal’s, although a few differences jumped out at him right away, before he even could even really take them in. The touchscreens, for example, all had text written in English. There was already a bed, chair, and lamp present. Ryan noted that their arrangement, relative to each other, was almost exactly the same as his old bedroom at his parents’ house. Why isn’t it my apartment? Ryan wondered as he began to walk among the relics of his childhood.
Over there were the colored blocks he’d spent endless hours building with, making starships and castles and undersea bases before leaving them out to be stepped on later. The lamp he’d broken in high school was still intact, apparently drawn from before the time he’d chucked it through Nabu’s head in a fit of pique. Here was the book of dinosaurs he’d read until the pages started falling out, and underneath it...underneath it was a battered and worn copy of “Why Does My Cat Meow?” Ryan ran his fingers over it. “I thought it would be more like Crystal’s,” he muttered.
“It will, in time. It responds to you, Ryan. It is your reflection, your echo. It always starts looking like what you think of when you want to go home.”
