Weird Theology

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Weird Theology Page 15

by Alex Raizman


  Fear filling her eyes, Saphyn dropped to one knee. Seeing their leader kneeling before this strange man, the others began to follow. “Ryan, please forgive our ignorance.”

  Ryan coughed, suddenly feeling hot. “No…it’s…rise, please.” They did, slowly and cautiously and looking at him with a wonder that was both thrilling and embarrassing.

  “A feast! A feast for Ryan, the Sky God!” Saphyn shouted, and immediately men and women began to scurry about.

  “That’s really not…” Why not, Ryan? You’ve been running scared for weeks, freaking out constantly – why not have a feast in your honor? “I’ll double your food stores so this causes no hardship.”

  Her eyes grew even wider at that. “You are a merciful God, Ryan. Please, come, sit with us.”

  ◆◆◆

  It was a great time, Ryan had to admit. The Fire Masters knew how to party. They had a huge bonfire going in the center of the camp. Drummers provided a primal beat, and the Graphids danced to the rhythm. Some animal was roasting over the flame on a spit, a massive beast that required full logs to support its weight. They carved chunks off at intervals and dunked them in a pot containing some variety of spice. The spice was sharp and had real heat to it, and Ryan was glad there was plenty for seconds. Don’t eat too much, Ryan, he reminded himself. These people need to survive, you just want it because it tastes amazing. Even with the doubled food stores, he didn’t want to be greedy.

  Although it would be hard to manage greed the way they kept shoving food in his face.

  The meat was served in edible bowls, something like a pepper that was roasting alongside the meat. As Ryan watched, he picked up that the correct way to eat it was to put the meat into it, then squeeze the bowl around it so it absorbed the juices and spices. When eaten that way, it was delicious. Without the absorption, it had a bitter aftertaste Ryan wasn’t fond of.

  Drinks were passed around as well. These people hadn’t discovered fermentation yet, but they had discovered something sweet, and whatever he was drinking - they called it Xan Milk, but when Ryan had asked said it came from plants, not animals - was thick and creamy. It was almost like a root beer float, although not quite that level of cloying, and it complimented the heat of the spiced meat well.

  He ate and drank while watching the festivities. A few of the Graphids asked him to join the dance, but he declined. As complex as the movements were, he’d absolutely make an idiot out of himself. Even more than you normally do when dancing. Instead, he spent a great deal of time talking with Saphyn.

  “…so Bast betrayed her allies, Moloch betrayed us, and Enki was behind it. We are waiting for Crystal to rise from the dead, and then we’re going to go on the offensive.”

  The story had drawn crowds around the fire. He’d left out the fact that it was Earth, instead framing it as a battle for Heaven, casting himself as the leader of the group and Enki as basically the Devil. So this is what drunk on power means. It was intoxicating, to be sure, the way they drank in every word. After he’d endured days of being confused and lost and needing to ask for help with every little thing, it was a much-needed respite. These people are awesome. And I don’t just think that because they’re actually treating me like a god.

  Although that’s definitely part of it.

  Ryan couldn’t remember the last time that he’d been the center of positive attention. Certainly hadn’t happened since finding his Nanoverse. But here, these people liked him, they respected him. Hell, why shouldn’t they? He’d just cured their sick, all of them. Sure, he’d done it to prove his claims, but at the same time he could have done the same thing with something flashy or dangerous.

  Why does anyone ever leave their nanoverse? I could spend a year here, be back on Earth before anyone knows I’m gone. Why not come here every single day for a year local time?

  There had to be a reason, although Ryan couldn’t see it. So he started thinking about what he could do to make these people’s lives better. He considered making them immune to disease of all kinds, but a small part of him worried it would cause overpopulation and starvation down the line. I’ll be doing the next best thing before I leave, though.

  Ryan frowned for a moment. Here I am making plans, and I’ve spent the whole time talking about myself. He turned to Saphyn, “Enough about me, though. Tell me more about yourself, your people?”

  “And what would you like to know?”

  Ryan shrugged. “Why are your people called the Fire Masters?” he asked.

  Saphyn frowned. “You do not know the story?”

  “I want to hear the story,” Ryan lied. From the way Saphyn’s eyes lit up, he’d given the right lie.

  “In the Dark Times, fire was untamed. It came with the lightning, or from the Mountains that Burn. All the people gathered fire when they could and kept it burning. When fire went dark, we would have to send people to the Mountains that Burn to breathe their poison air or wait for Xapheda to send her storms to gift us some.”

  Ryan sat back. Saphyn had a voice made for storytelling, or perhaps it was a skill she had honed over the years. Rich and textured, each word carefully inflected for maximum impact. Either way, it was a pleasure to listen to her. The rest of the Fire Masters gathered around.

  “One day, a great rain came. Our fire had not been fed properly. Golma, the Fire Keeper, had failed in his duties. The people demanded that Golma be the one to go to the Mountains that Burn. That he be the one to breathe the poison air. That he should return with fire or perish in the attempt. Golma refused the people, so my ancestor,” and Ryan couldn’t help but noticed the fierce pride in her voice, “he demanded that Golma pay the price for his failure.

  “With him went Nansti, a great warrior. Nansti was sent to make sure he did not flee or cower, that he did not shirk his duties. That he would reach the Mountains that Burn or die in the attempt. Golma left. He set out across the Deep Jungle to reach the Mountains that Burn to breathe their poison air and get the fire that he has lost.

  “And Golma tried to flee. He feared the Mountains that Burn, he feared their poison air. Nansti hurled her spear at Golma. It did not strike the coward, because she did not wish him dead. She threw her spear so it hit just in front of Golma’s face, hit the rocks so that he might see what awaited him if he fled. So that he might know he should fear Nansti more than he feared the Mountains that Burn.

  “Sparks flew from the rock when it struck. Sparks that caught Golma’s beard alight! He died, as was fitting for his failure. And Nansti returned with these magic rocks, these rocks that produce sparks when struck with a spear. We keep the rocks secret, we keep them safe. Now, when other peoples lose their fire, they need not go to the Mountains that Burn, they need not breathe the poison air. They trade us for our fire, and we have grown wealthy off their need.”

  Ryan nodded, trying to look wise. The idea that fire could be a good that was traded had never occurred to him, and he wondered how much longer it could last on this world. Maybe, if I do what I’m thinking, it’ll be recorded and I can find out later. “What happened to Nansti?”

  Saphyn’s fierce pride returned. “She wed my ancestor. I am her descendant, and her blood flows in my veins.”

  Ryan smiled at her pride. “I wish I could stay longer,” he said. If not for Athena, I would. But she’s waiting for me, and literally can’t go anywhere until I get back.

  Saphyn returned the smile. “You honor us by saying so. But…you must go. Enki awaits.”

  He nodded, somberly. “But before I do…I need something from you, Saphyn.”

  “Anything, my god. Anything.”

  Good thing you took care of Company before you came out here. It was more of an idle thought than anything else. Ryan grinned, then touched her forehead. Her eyes widened in shock. “I just taught you how to read and write. A way of turning words into symbols, so they can be passed from person to person.” He gestured into the air and pulled out a book. A huge, thick book, just labeled “Science.”

  �
��What is…what is this?”

  “Everything my world knows of science. I need you to teach it to the rest of the Fire Masters, and to the Grass People, and the Tree Walkers. To everyone. It will teach you medicine, so you may fight off disease and cure injuries. It will teach you mathematics, so you might understand the universe better. It will teach you engineering, so you might build great things to keep your people safe from the woods and the animals. It will teach you ecology, so you might stay safe without destroying your own habitat. And it will teach you technology, which will be used to entertain, to build, to create...and to destroy.” Ryan leaned forwards. “Because when I need a weapon, I draw it from you – and Saphyn?”

  She met his eyes. She didn’t seemed overwhelmed anymore. She seemed to be acutely aware of the enormity of what was happening.

  “I need the best weapons you can make.”

  She nodded. “We will make weapons for you, Ryan, the Sky God.”

  Ryan smiled. “Then I will return, and look forward to seeing what you have created.” With that, he pressed his hands down again and took off into the sky, heading back towards where he had left Athena. It’s a win-win. I just saved them thousands of years of plagues and crap.

  It was amazing, this feeling. Incredibly heady. And given how time flowed, by the time he fought Enki next, he’d hopefully have some major firepower to bring to bear.

  He was even to push down a small part of him that insisted he was using these people. In fact, Ryan was feeling so great that he didn’t even notice the urge to faint start to creep back in. Emboldened by his lack of awareness, the feeling crept closer and closer until, like a thief, it stole away his consciousness and plummeted him into darkness, the exhaustion of several days of throwing divine powers finally catching up with him.

  He didn’t wake up when he landed on top of his ship. Athena did look up in surprise at the thud, and slowly tracked him with her eyes as he slid down the side to land in the jungle. She considered getting him, she really did – but the risk was too great.

  Athena turned back to her book to wait for Ryan to wake up, wondering how exactly she was supposed to defeat Enki working with that.

  Chapter 12

  Gathering Darkness

  Moloch stared out over the lost city of Ys, a small smile playing over his lips. I love this view. Before him stretched hundreds of people, petrified and dried by salt, their hands held up in eternal gestures of protection. Others were bowed low, laying with their faces into the dirt. Still others had their faces covered or were cowering to protect others. A few were pointing to some central point. That was where the catastrophe had originated - in ages long past, the citizens of Ys had angered some god. Or perhaps a pantheon of them. For their crime, the god had sucked all the moisture out of their bodies, turning them into salt mummies. I would have loved to see it.

  Moloch had made the central castle of this place his home, so he could watch them in their eternal torment and fear whenever he wanted. It was a reminder of what gods were capable of if they were unshackled from expectations, from these stupid, arbitrary rules they had made for themselves. It’s also a reminder of what awaits this entire world. Forgotten by all but me. Just as it will be with Ishtar.

  Unfortunately, he could not enjoy the view as much as he wanted, the way he usually did. There were visitors. Bast at least was a polite guest, being relatively quiet. However, Enki was screaming at them, and with a sigh Moloch turned to face his ‘leader.’

  "You had one task, one simple job!" Enki’s neck bulged out, and a vein in his forehead pulsed over his eye. His hands were shaking. He’d returned to his more brutish appearance, ditching the one he’d worn for the cameras, and his eyes were practically glowing as spittle flecked from his lips. It had been perfect. Enki thought. He liked the thought so much he repeated it. It had been perfect! And then...we were so close!

  Bast glanced at Moloch, who could only shrug. Enki had been yelling for some time now and was beginning to repeat himself.

  "I served the Eschaton up to you on a platter, and what do you do?" He leaned into Bast's face, close enough that the goddess had to lean back from him. "You shot Týr and Ishtar first! Then you got your hand cut off!"

  Bast's eyes flashed with rage. "I work with you, Enki. Not for you. Watch your tone."

  He raised one brutish fist, his neck pulsing with the beat of his heart. "Don't you dare try to give me commands, you catty little bitch, I should-"

  His tirade was interrupted by a dry chuckle from Moloch. Both Bast and Enki turned to the rasping sound. "Hmmm?" Moloch intoned. "Oh. You called her catty. Bast. Catty." He glanced back at them and sighed. "Surely I can't be the only one that finds that humorous?" Their scowls deepened, but at least Enki was lowering his fist.

  You still need them, Enki reminded himself. As painful as it is, you aren’t strong enough to go it alone.

  Yet. He continued his rant, "We had a plan. We had a plan, and it was a good one. I set up the fight, let the four stuck-up prigs slug it out, Moloch shows up and drops the giant, and then Bast mops up the survivors." His scowl deepened. "But you," he pointed one fat finger at Moloch, "you decided to vamoose, to amscray, before making sure the job was done, and then you," shifting that meaty digit to Bast, "ooooh, you. You decided that Týr and Ishtar were more important! Ishtar will be back on her feet in days!"

  "And you completely forgot your role in the finale, dear Enki," Moloch hissed, the false joviality gone. He leaned forward. "You were meant to be the failsafe, to pick off any who fled. Yet they did so unopposed. Why was that, hmmm?"

  Enki directed the full force of his wrath at Moloch. I tolerated you, you damn psychopath. I made you a part of my plan. And this is how you repay me, you reject god? The idea was galling, and Enki found himself wondering if Moloch was even worth the effort. "The Eschaton is stronger than we thought, okay? Took me a bit to undo the twist he did on me."

  "The Eschaton," Bast countered, her voice full of the lazy grace of a hunting tiger, "is a Nascent, Enki. How did a Nascent manage to twist you so hard, you couldn't return to the battle in time?"

  Enki slammed his giant fist into the table. "I. Don't. Know!" Each word was punctuated by a slam until the table cracked, and Enki took a few deep breaths, staring at the destruction he had wrought upon it. It’s Ishtar, it has to be, a small voice in the back of his mind chimed in. She was always a dangerous bitch, and with her teaching the Esch-

  "Tantrums will avail us nothing," Moloch said, interrupting Enki’s thought process. "We still won the day. Týr will make a fine addition to my collection, and every god and goddess that saw our battle will know we are the winning side. Can you not, my dears, revel in the victory?"

  Bast gave Moloch an indulgent smile, and Enki took a breath. "You're not always right, Moloch, but when you are you're very right." Toss the prick a bone. You can salvage this, you can make this work. It’s not all lost. You’re not going to lose the world.

  "I agree," Bast said, "and as such I'm willing to put the threats behind me, Enki, if you will do the same for my...failure." The last word was plucked out with verbal tongs, as if it were something slimy and disgusting.

  "Fine." Enki nodded. "Moloch, how long till you can make something deadly out of Týr?"

  "Likely done before Ishtar revives," Moloch responded as he picked some invisible dirt out of his yellowed nails. Enki’s neck bulged at the insolence, and he had to take a deep breath to avoid throttling Moloch. You’re useful, Moloch, but I can’t believe I have to tolerate you right now. "I'm more concerned about Athena. Ishtar may have been a war goddess, but she was never much of a strategist. Athena, for her part..."

  Bast had to nod, reluctantly. "I was going to shoot her next. The Nascent should have been easy pickings without them." Pausing for a moment, she gave a small smile before continuing. "We can hope, however, that her personality prevents them from heeding her council?"

  Enki let out a snort of frustration. "Not likely. We have to assume they're goin
g to be all hugs and kisses from here on out."

  Moloch returned to the window, pursing his lips as he did.

  "Something you want to share, Moloch?" Moloch could feel Bast's eyes on his back. You’re curious, Bast. Very curious. And you know what they say about curiosity and cats.

  "Yes." Moloch didn't turn away from the window. "The very first day he obtained his nanoverse, when he was still just a mere Finder, you could have killed him. Stopped all this then, with a bullet to the back of the skull. Why not?"

  Now Moloch turned, slowly, to see that Bast had also focused her attention on Enki.

  "What kind of question is that?"

  "You’ve been working on this plan for centuries. Updating as needed, but always the same core plan. Why did you not kill the Eschaton before he could begin to come into his powers, you short-sighted oaf?"

  Enki bristled at the tone, but Bast spoke up. "I've been wondering that too, if we're being blunt. Why did you spare him?"

  "Because I didn't know he was the Eschaton then. He might have still been an innocent person, who just found the Eschaton's nanoverse."

  "And?"

  "We’re not killing innocent people unless we have to, Moloch. I told you that from the beginning. If you have a problem with it, you can take a long walk off a short dick.” Enki slammed his left fist into his right palm to release some of the frustration that was welling up within him. “I know you get your jollies off letting people sacrifice each other to you, but that’s not how we do things.” I’m not a monster. Enki clenched and unclenched his fists. I sure as hell want to do something monstrous to Moloch, though.

  Moloch sighed. “Enki, our plan was to unleash a Hecatoncheires in the middle of a busy city. Did you really think there wouldn’t be civilians caught in the crossfire?”

  “Crossfire happens, Moloch. Casualties happen. A casualty is different than murdering someone for what they might be, you hear me?”

 

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