by B. J Daniels
Still, as he drove to her house, he worried she might have gotten cold feet overnight. It was that dead husband of hers. Daniel “Danny” Jackson. He’d heard all about her childhood sweetheart to the point where he’d wanted to puke. The man had apparently been a saint, worked two jobs to support her and her two babies—up until the day he was blown up and ended up in a mass grave since identifying the bodies had been impossible. Collin was no head doctor, but he suspected it was one reason she’d held on to the fantasy of her dead husband for so long. She’d never gotten to bury him.
But Danny was the past now. He was dead, and Collin was alive. That had to rate for something, he thought as he wished he didn’t remember the way she’d cupped that worn-thin, gold wedding band in her hand. Hell, she’d hardly looked at the huge diamond he’d put on her finger. He couldn’t help a fresh stab of irritation. He’d dropped a bundle on that rock, hoping to impress her. Instead, some cheap ring was so precious she could barely take it off.
He snuffed out his annoyance as he caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. He’d hit the jackpot on looks. Blond, blue-eyed and devilishly handsome. At least that’s what his mother used to say. What woman wouldn’t want him? He laughed at his insecurities as the light turned green and he continued toward Kate’s house. He’d make her forget that long-dead husband.
One way or another, Kate was going to love him more than she’d ever loved that Danny. How could she not?
CHAPTER TWO
MONTANA? KATE LOOKED out the window to see nothing but snow. It covered everything in sight, including the narrow two-lane highway. It fell from the sky in huge flakes that hurled into the windshield. The wipers clacked frantically but were clearly inadequate.
“Collin—”
“Don’t worry. I was raised in Minnesota,” he said. “I was driving on snowy roads at the age of sixteen.”
She looked over at him. “I never know what to believe about you,” she admitted, realizing how true it was. “Some of the stories you’ve told me—”
“All true. I’m a man of adventure, remember?” He grinned over at her, making her heart beat a little faster. Did he really know what he was doing? He was always so cocky and self-assured. It was what had attracted her to him. He’d been so different from Danny, who’d just been a scared kid like her.
They’d flown from Houston to Denver, Colorado to Bismarck, North Dakota, where a rental SUV had been waiting for them at the airport. From there, they’d driven west, leaving the interstate to cross the state of Montana on a two-lane highway. She’d never been in such wide-open spaces or anywhere with so many miles between towns.
As they headed deeper into the snowstorm, the highway seemed to grow narrower. She couldn’t remember the last car she’d seen. There’d been fewer houses, almost no sign of life the farther they went. She had no idea where they were headed or what they were going to do since it was winter and freezing outside. This seemed like an odd place for Collin to bring her on their engagement trip.
When she’d asked where they were going, all he’d said was “It’s a surprise, but we are almost there.”
She’d never guessed when he’d told her to pack warm clothing that they were coming to Montana. She should have known it would be somewhere completely out of her comfort zone. Collin and his surprises.
Even as she tried to embrace the whole experience, the snowstorm was making her nervous. She pulled out her cell phone, needing to connect to one of her daughters, to reach out and ground herself through a lifeline to the familiar and safe. This new life made her feel anxious as if she were lost and would never find her way home. Isn’t that what she’d believed in her heart at first about Danny after the accident? That Danny had gotten hurt and confused, that he was out there somewhere waiting for her to find him because he couldn’t find his way home?
Why was she thinking about that now? Because that’s how she felt, that she might never be able to go home again. She looked down at her phone. No cell service. How was that possible? She tried again and heard Collin chuckle.
“Kate, you aren’t in a place where you can get cell-phone coverage everywhere. This is the Wild West. Watch for a cell phone tower. That’s your best bet.”
Reluctantly, she pocketed her phone. “I didn’t realize there were still places like this. I guess I’ve lived in Houston for too long.”
“And not gotten out in the real world enough,” he added. “But that is all going to change, starting with this trip. I’m glad you agreed to it.”
“Me, too,” she said automatically. He was probably right about her needing to expand her boundaries. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been out of Houston, let alone Texas. There was a whole country she’d never seen.
Until Collin, she hadn’t realized how isolated her life had been. She’d lived in other people’s stories with her work. She’d been so busy raising her girls that she hadn’t been aware of her life passing by.
Collin reached over and put his hand on her knee. She covered it with her own and saw the flash of the large diamond he’d put on her finger. It still felt strange, always startling her when she caught sight of it there. She looked away, hating that the ring made her feel as if she’d broken her promise to Daniel. She felt as if she wasn’t just letting go of him after all these years but that she was no longer holding on to hope. Now, untethered, her future felt uncertain.
Years ago, the refinery had paid for the families of those who’d lost their loved ones to see a therapist. Kate had gone at the insistence of her family doctor, who felt she wasn’t coping well with her loss.
“You don’t believe your husband is dead?” the therapist had asked her.
“Rationally, I know it must be true. It’s just that he doesn’t feel...gone,” she’d said. She’d explained that she felt Daniel could have been injured in the explosion and was alive and living somewhere, still unaware that she and the girls existed. “There was so much confusion at the hospitals with so many patients...” She’d gone looking for Danny, believing in her heart that he was still alive, but there’d been so many wounded that the victims of the blast had been dispatched to hospitals all over East Texas. The others to the morgue. So many patients had been brought in badly burned with no idea who they were.
“You aren’t the first spouse who feels this way,” the therapist had told her. “You didn’t get to say goodbye. Nor did you get to identify his body and bury him.”
Kate had nodded through her tears, thinking of the others who’d lost their loved ones that day. So many of the victims were unidentifiable and lost in the fiery grave.
The therapist had been sympathetic and kind. “You have to decide how you want to spend the rest of your life. Isn’t it possible that your hope that Danny is alive and will show up one day at your door is keeping you rooted in a fantasy?”
Kate still recognized the truth in what the therapist had said all those years ago. She didn’t want to let go of Danny and not just because she still loved him with all her heart. She didn’t want to let go of the fantasy of him returning because then she’d have to admit that she’d lost twenty years of her life to that dream.
“Daddy was your first love,” Mia had told her after she’d confessed how she was feeling. “Of course it was intense. Come on, Mom. You’re not seventeen anymore. The question is this. Do you think you could be happy with Collin?”
She glanced over now at the handsome man who had come into her life when she hadn’t been looking. He’d flattered her and made her laugh and refused to give up on her, even when she’d held him at arm’s length for months.
Now he was offering to open up a whole new world for her. If she let him. It could be like coming back to life after a long sleep, she told herself.
“Marry me, and I promise your life will be one adventure after another,” Collin had said the first time he’d mentioned marriage.
“What makes you think I’m up to an adventure—let alone one after another?” she’d asked with a laugh. She was set in her ways, comfortable in her own skin, in the knowledge of what the next day would bring and the next.
He’d looked into her eyes. “Don’t you feel it? You and I were meant to find each other. I felt it the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew. I think you knew, too.”
She had looked away, embarrassed because Collin had mesmerized her from the moment he’d walked over to her in the coffee shop and sat down. A brash young man with intense blue eyes, California-surfer blond hair and a grin that had made her heart bang around in her chest in a way she’d forgotten possible.
“It’s fate, Kate. The stars are all aligned. The future is out there just waiting for us. You ready for the biggest adventure of your life?”
She’d thought she was. But now she felt as though she was trapped in a snow globe and regretted leaving warm Texas soil. She felt...scared.
“Isn’t the snow beautiful?” Collin said, sounding downright ecstatic.
She looked out at the expanse of white, the two-lane blacktop the only color and even that was glazed in ice. The sky was overcast and yet the fallen snow shone, appearing iridescent as night had set in. She’d always wanted to see snow but maybe not this much. Also the lack of traffic made her nervous, too. She felt as if they’d left civilization behind. No houses, no lights, nothing but snow and highway. Where were they going?
“I love winter,” Collin was saying. “There is something so pure about it, the cold air, the snow a clean, white blanket that covers even the dirtiest spots.”
Without warning, it began to snow harder. Ice flakes flew at the windshield. Not even the headlights could punch a hole through the smothering flurry. Kate was having a hard time seeing the highway and knew Collin must be as well. She wished he would slow down. But he’d said he was used to driving in this kind of weather. She tried to relax, closing her eyes against the dizzying, hypnotic snowstorm.
Until...her eyes flew open. “Collin?” she asked minutes later. “What is that noise?”
CHAPTER THREE
JUST MOMENTS BEFORE Collin heard the sound, he’d been trying to hide his irritation with Kate. She’d said she wanted to see snow. What the hell did she think that was falling from the sky? And not just a little of it. Had she forgotten that she’d told him she’d always wanted to make a snow angel?
Then he heard the noise coming from under the hood at the same time she did. He swore under his breath as the engine sputtered and died. He cursed the rental SUV as he coasted over to the side of the road and turned on his flashers.
“What do you think it is?” she asked, sounding worried.
Did he look clairvoyant? “Don’t worry. I’ll take a look under the hood.” He grabbed his coat from the back seat, popped the vehicle’s hood release and climbed out into the storm. The wind whipped snow, blinding him as he made his way to the front of the SUV. Lifting the hood, he looked down at the engine, wondering what the hell he thought he was looking for. He knew nothing about car engines.
He’d hoped to find something obvious that he could fix himself. Unfortunately, he saw nothing that looked out of place and he was freezing his butt off.
“Do you know what’s wrong?” she asked the moment he slid back behind the wheel again.
“Not yet.” He tried to start the engine. Nothing. He kept trying, hoping it would just miraculously start. He didn’t need this kind of trouble for so many reasons, his fiancée’s worry for one. “I’m going to have to call someone,” he told Kate.
“Is it that bad?” she asked, sounding scared.
He had no idea. “I’m sure it’s just something simple.” He pulled out his phone. He’d seen a cell phone tower a few miles back. Fortunately, he had a couple of bars. When the call went through to a local towing garage, he breathed a sigh of relief. “Twenty minutes? Sure. Thanks.” He disconnected and looked over at her. She was beautiful, he reminded himself, and soon she was going to be his wife—unless he did something stupid and messed this up like losing his temper with her.
“I’m sorry,” he told her. “You’d expect a rental to be in tip-top shape.”
“I was surprised when the agency gave us an older model,” she said. “I thought all rental cars were new.”
He didn’t know what to say to that since he’d asked for this year and model on purpose. Of course she would have chosen a more expensive, newer one. He smiled even though her words were a direct hit to his ego. He reminded himself that she had no idea what was really going on. Nor did she know anything about his financial situation. He had led her believe he was as set in life as she was, but he knew that unless this trip went well and didn’t cost too much, it was only a matter of time before she found out.
Feeling that he wasn’t good enough was something that had shamed him since he was a boy. He hated that other people always had more than he did—even though his parents were rich by most people’s standards. Just not rich enough to put him in a league where he wanted to be. It’s why he’d promised himself that he was going to have enough money—no matter what he had to do to get it. So far, even that plan hadn’t been successful.
He told himself that his luck was going to change, and Kate proved that. “It’s fine,” he said, leaning over to kiss her. “The tow truck will be here soon. There’s a town up ahead, Buckhorn, the driver said. We can stay there. They’ll fix the car, and we’ll be on our way. This is just another adventure, right?”
She nodded and smiled, but he worried she was having second thoughts and not just about this trip. “You promised adventure. You’re certainly true to your word.”
“Aren’t I, though?” He could see that she’d lost some of her confidence in him. Not that he suspected she’d ever had much. It was getting cold in the car. He looked out and saw nothing but falling snow and hoped he could turn this situation around. If he didn’t, he could lose her, and that was the last thing he wanted. Kate was the gift he’d always thought he couldn’t have. To lose her over something this stupid... He shook his head and grinned at her. “You still want to make a snow angel?”
She laughed. “Surely you aren’t suggesting—”
“Not now,” he said as he pulled her close to keep her warm. “But maybe before we leave Montana. Wait until Mia and Danielle see the photo I’m going to take of you.”
* * *
KATE STOOD IN the middle of the motel room unable to move. She could see her breath in the frigid air. Her teeth were chattering. She hugged herself, but her thin Texas winter coat made her feel ill prepared.
Behind her, she heard Collin come in with their suitcases but was too cold to turn around. “The tow-truck driver turns out to be the mechanic, so that’s lucky. Fred said he’ll take a look at the car in the morning. I’m sure it’s nothing. If not, the rental car agency will see that we get another car, so don’t worry.”
He stepped around her to put the suitcases down on one of the sagging double beds. The clerk at the desk had called this room a suite. Probably, Kate thought, because it had an apartment-sized kitchen against the far wall next to a two-chaired dinette set from the fifties.
It wasn’t that Kate hadn’t roughed it before. The worst part was that this room, this motel, this town reminded her of the short honeymoon she and Danny had taken in East Texas. She remembered the two of them laughing as they fell onto the sagging double bed in each other’s arms—not really even noticing how awful the room had been.
She tried to still her chattering teeth. She’d never been this cold. She felt as if she couldn’t move, could hardly breathe. “Where are we?” she asked, having seen more Closed for the Winter signs on boarded-up buildings than operating businesses on the way into town. “Nothing looks open here.”
“Shirley in the motel office said it’s a little slow this time of year. But she said come summer, the plac
e is hopping. The town kind of hibernates in the winter. Not to worry, though. We won’t be here long.”
Collin kissed her as he passed her to go over to the heater on the wall. “I’ll get some heat going, but you might want to take a hot shower to warm up.”
The thought of stripping down in a cold bathroom to step into even a hot shower was out of the question. She turned to look at him, her expression apparently voicing her thoughts.
“Otherwise, you can hop into bed, and we’ll make our own heat,” he said and grinned. “Adventure, Kate. It’s begun. Embrace it. I promise it will only get better.”
She laughed, and it seemed to warm her a little. Or maybe it was the slight warmth now coming from the heater on the wall as Collin stepped to her.
“Having fun yet?” he asked as he pulled her into his arms.
* * *
COLLIN FELT THAT old burning sensation in his belly. Kate had been quiet on the tow-truck ride into town. She’d gotten even quieter when she’d seen Buckhorn. Had either of them blinked, they would have missed the town. What he had seen of it was closed, boarded-up buildings with See U in the Spring scrawled on the sheets of plywood covering the doorways and windows. What businesses were open had so much snow piled in front of them that he wondered how they would be able to find their front doors before June.
He had glanced over at her, reading her expression as the tow-truck driver, who’d introduced himself as Fred Durham, dropped them in front of the Sleepy Pine Motel. It was one of those single-level efficiencies with seven units in a long row. A blurry, red vacancy sign could be seen through the falling snow up by the highway. Behind the motel there appeared to be a forest of pine trees, branches groaning under the weight of the snow.
“Is this the only lodging in town?” Collin had asked, thinking about the kind of hotels Kate was probably used to.
