by Melissa Hill
Chapter 3
The following morning, Beth climbed up the steps that brought her above ground from the subway station on 59th and Lexington, catching herself as she almost slipped on the ice.
Seeing the entrance of Carlisle’s ahead, she swerved around a couple of lost tourists busily consulting a map, and gratefully entered the heated luxury of one of Manhattan’s favourite stores. She called out hello to a couple of her co-workers and made her way upstairs towards her own department, keeping an eye out for Jodi, who was also in today.
Reaching the third floor, she saw that her friend was already at work and currently with an early-bird customer. Jodi caught Beth’s eye and threw a brief smile her way before returning her attention to the shopper.
Beth took a right into the hallway connecting the shoe department with the men’s department, and walked briskly into the common area where employees could store their personal belongings in lockers while on shift.
She undid the lock by entering a combination comprised of her and Danny’s birth dates. Six, eighteen, eleven, twenty-five, she repeated in her mind, then clicked the lock open. She placed her bag inside and quickly checked her makeup in a magnetic mirror that she kept on the inner door. Satisfied with her appearance, she closed the door and redid the lock.
Running through a mental list of what needed to be done in the department that day, Beth turned quickly back towards the sales floor, only to collide full force into something hard and upright.
She was stumbling on her heels, and feeling herself beginning to fall when suddenly a pair of steady arms encircled her waist, righting her. Then those arms were stabilising her, helping her catch her balance and stay on her feet.
‘Whoa there…’ The voice was silky, self-assured and decidedly masculine. For some reason, involuntary goose-bumps tickled Beth’s skin at the sound of it.
She looked up and came face to face with Ryan Buchanan, the new guy from the men’s department. With a strong jaw, longish sandy-blond hair cut like Bradley Cooper’s, and a laconic smile that could light up a room, there was a good reason he was turning heads at Carlisle’s.
Beth had only come across him briefly since he’d started, and never in close circumstances like this.
‘You OK?’ he asked, concerned, and she suddenly became very aware of his strong arms around her waist. They were standing so close that she could smell his cologne, something musky and masculine, and she forced herself to find her voice and pull her gaze away from his mesmerisingly green eyes.
‘Thanks, yes, I’m fine … sorry,’ she stuttered, embarrassed, moving away from his embrace. As she went to create some distance, he too must have realised their proximity and quickly dropped his arms to his side.
‘Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to … I just didn’t want you to fall,’ he explained, a faint blush deepening in his cheeks in a way that Beth found impossibly endearing.
And then there was that smile again.
She looked away, straightened her pencil skirt and examined her appearance – if only to break away from his handsome gaze. Inexplicably, she felt heat rising around her collar and knew at that moment a full-on blush was creeping up her neck. She willed herself to get it together, feeling a little like Meg Ryan or Kate Hudson in the midst of a classic ‘meet cute’ movie sequence.
‘I’m not sure we’ve met properly. I just started here – I’m Ryan. Ryan Buchanan.’ One of those strong, able hands was extended Beth’s way and she snapped to attention as she realised he was waiting for a response.
‘Yes, I know … hello.’ She reached out to shake his hand and the moment she touched his fingers, a jolt of electricity shot through her body. Beth flinched and snatched her hand away. She quickly glanced up at his face, wondering if he felt it too and, looking into those eyes again, she realised that describing them as green was an understatement. That description didn’t do them any justice. They were almost like twinkling emeralds staring back at her.
And then the eyebrows over those emeralds shot up. ‘And your name?’ he asked with a grin, once again returning Beth to reality.
‘I’m-mm Beth,’ she stuttered.
‘Well, M-Beth, it’s nice to meet you properly,’ he repeated chuckling. ‘You’re in shoes, right?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded, still a bit flushed, and completely bewildered as to what was happening to her.
‘Even if I didn’t know I could have guessed. Those are hot shoes.’ He looked down at her flower-embellished Dolce & Gabbana heels – a gorgeous piece of shoe art from last season that Beth had managed to buy through the benefit of her employee discount. ‘I love those movie displays you do over there. That Pretty Woman one was especially great. Major kudos for making thigh-high PVC boots a must-have with the Park Avenue crowd,’ he chuckled. ‘Clearly a born saleswoman. I’ll have to pick your brains sometime.’
He flashed that smile again and Beth flushed afresh at the dual compliment.
‘Thanks, I hadn’t thought of it that way but…’ she began, and just then heard footsteps approach from behind. Jodi’s voice followed, and Beth realised that her ‘meet cute’ was about to be interrupted. For some reason she felt guilty, not because she had been caught unawares, but because she half-wished that it hadn’t been interrupted.
‘Hey, Beth— Oh, sorry,’ Jodi said, and Beth glanced at her, hoping that she herself looked perfectly calm and unruffled. She realised that this wasn’t the case when her friend raised an eyebrow and gave her a puzzled look. ‘Um, Sandra Bernstein is here.’ Jodi pointed in the direction of the sales floor and Beth was brought back to reality: Mrs Bernstein was one of her regular customers. ‘I can help her out if you want…’
‘No, no, I was just on my way.’
‘Better get to it myself.’ Ryan smiled laconically, giving Beth another appraising glance and she tried to avoid his eyes as well as Jodi’s questioning gaze.
She straightened her shoulders and nodded at him. ‘I’m sure I’ll see you around.’
‘Absolutely. See you soon, Beth.’
She reluctantly pulled herself away and walked with determination towards the sales floor, feeling completely discombobulated. What the hell had happened back there?
All of a sudden, Beth understood exactly why Ryan Buchanan’s recent arrival at Carlisle’s had caused such a stir, and was sending female hearts all aflutter.
* * *
Later that morning, the phone buzzed on the bedside table, and even without checking the display Danny knew that it would be Beth calling. He meant to get in touch with her first thing, but his mind had been elsewhere …
Picking up the phone, he swung his legs off the bed and retrieved his shirt from where he had dropped it earlier.
‘Can’t it wait?’ Adele asked, regarding him with her dark chocolate eyes. She pushed her lustrous black hair back behind one ear as she leaned closer, waiting for his answer.
‘Sorry, I need to get this.’ She seemed to take it as a brushoff, and moved to the other side of the room, fastening her hair into a loose ponytail.
Danny retreated to the attached bathroom for some privacy. He somehow felt less guilty about this entire thing when he was not in direct view of Adele’s questioning, probing eyes. It was so much harder to lie to Beth, when Adele was listening and knew exactly what he wasn’t saying aloud.
Pushing his arms into his shirt and hastily buttoning it up, he accepted the call and quietly shut the bathroom door behind him.
‘Hey,’ he greeted into the handset, hoping his voice sounded normal – hoping he could pull this off – again.
‘Hi! Hope you got some sleep last night and aren’t working too hard today,’ Beth said, and he could hear the usual happy smile in her voice.
Danny’s heart sank. He hated deceiving her, hated hiding things but at the moment there was really no choice. He couldn’t help it. This is not how he pictured things years ago, hell, even a few weeks ago. Why couldn’t he just come clean?
‘Do you think maybe you could escape fo
r lunch for a half-hour?’ she continued. ‘I really missed seeing you last night.’
Despite himself, he raised a smile. There was something so appealing about Beth’s unashamed adoration of him. For her there was never any game-playing or pretence of any kind, and he’d always loved how she wore her heart on her sleeve.
Unlike him, he conceded, guilt and self-loathing building afresh. ‘I know, and again I’m really sorry about Florida. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’
‘Ah, don’t worry about that. I was more disappointed not to have you home last night. Not that Brinkley minded, though; he took over your side of the bed.’
Danny also appreciated Beth’s unerring ability to pretend that everything was OK, as if they hadn’t been through stressful times recently. He knew that despite her outward cheeriness and relentless ability to look on the bright side, deep down she had worried about his job, and the fact that the company had cut his hours, threatening his career and their livelihood.
But Danny also couldn’t help but acknowledge that it was perhaps all the stress he’d been experiencing at work that had led to the predicament he was in now. The work-related strain had resulted in some recent nit-picking and tension in their relationship, all of which, he guessed, had brought him right to Adele’s door.
It was a vicious cycle, and one that Danny didn’t know how to stop. He loved Beth and yet …
‘So what do you think?’ his girlfriend continued. ‘Do you want to meet for lunch today?’
Danny swallowed hard. He knew he couldn’t see her now. He needed to shower and change his clothes beforehand, if only to try to get the stench of guilt off him. At this point, it was almost like it was coming out of his pores.
‘Honey, honestly I would love to, but I’m probably going to end up working through lunch. I just ran out a while ago to pick up some takeout, something quick,’ he lied, thinking of Adele on the other side of the door. ‘I’m sorry; I was just trying to get through this day so I could maybe get home early this evening.’
It was clear Beth was disappointed. ‘Oh, OK, well, I just thought that maybe I would just ask anyway, I wasn’t sure…’
Danny felt a lump growing in his throat and truly wished at that moment that he could reach out and pull her close to him, cry into her hair, ask for forgiveness, a fresh start, anything.
He felt desperate, but he also knew that it was completely unfair of him to expect her simply to accept any of this – to believe that she would just forgive his lies and still want to be with him. Especially when he had hidden so much already. How did couples move on when there were so many secrets, so much information concealed, not to mention trust breached?
‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise,’ he insisted, meaning it. ‘This weekend. We’ll do something special this weekend, OK? Anything you want.’
There was silence on the other end of the line and Danny felt the tension growing as he waited for Beth to speak. What if she was on to him? What if she knew that right now he wasn’t working, wasn’t eating takeout at his desk? What if she had already called his office only to have his assistant, Kimberly, tell her that, no he hadn’t actually arrived yet and had left early yesterday, saying he had an ‘appointment’. What if, what if, what if…?
Finally, Beth spoke and once again Danny could hear her smiling on the other end of the line. ‘That sounds good. I think we could do with that, to be honest.’
He felt himself exhale. ‘Great. I’ll see you later, maybe try to get out of here a little earlier if I can, OK?
Soon after, he and Beth said their goodbyes and Danny ended the call and stared at the phone after hanging up, just taking a moment as he thought through their conversation one more time.
Then he put his hand on the doorknob and steeled himself to face Adele, turning momentarily to look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sure, he looked the same, more or less, a bit pale maybe, but he wasn’t sure if that was due to the fact that he felt rattled by Beth’s call, or something else. He just knew that he didn’t feel the same.
And he worried that there was a part of him that was lost, as if part of his soul was crumpled and damaged and dark. He felt as if a great black blob of nothingness was living in his body, ready to consume him as punishment for what he’d been doing.
Danny breathed deeply, hoping to cleanse himself, steel himself, then he opened the door.
Adele took in his appearance and he knew that she could feel the tension rolling off him.
‘You OK?’ she asked, her eyes watchful.
He nodded, finding it hard to meet her gaze.
‘You know you would feel better if you just told her,’ she said simply. ‘The truth will set you free, so they say.’
Danny shook his head. ‘No, it wouldn’t. It would change everything. You don’t understand.’
‘Danny, really, I do understand. I’ve been down this road a few times before, you know,’ she said, and for a moment he was a little taken aback. But of course a woman like her would have experienced something like this before, he realised, feeling stupid. He certainly wasn’t the first. ‘But it’s your choice,’ she continued. ‘It’s your relationship, not mine. And I’m just trying to help.’
‘You’re right – it’s none of your business,’ he replied curtly, then immediately relented when he saw her expression. ‘Hey, I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’m just … I’m sorry, but like I said, I need to do this in my own time.’ He took a few steps in her direction, but she held up a well-manicured hand.
‘It’s OK. I get it, and I know it’s difficult. Really, it’s all right. Take your time. But don’t take too long…’
Danny nodded, completely understanding the subtle warning. Suddenly he felt awkward. They’d been seeing each other for a few weeks now, but he didn’t really know her as such.
‘So…’ he said, absently, wondering how to take his leave.
‘Right, so, see you next time? Same time, same place?’ she said, catching his drift. ‘Give me a call.’
‘Sure.’ Danny swallowed hard, considering his weaknesses, his deficiencies and then answered, ‘I’ll be here.’
He couldn’t stop himself if he tried.
* * *
Much later at home, Beth lay curled up in bed with Brinkley next to her when she heard the front door of the apartment open. Looking up from reading an old dog-eared romance novel, she looked to the door of the bedroom expectantly and stole a glance at the clock.
Nine-thirty: not exactly an early finish, she thought, remembering Danny’s claim on the phone earlier that he was going to try to make it home from work at a reasonable time.
She tried to shake off some of her disappointment and reminded herself that he was just trying to do well at work, especially in the run-up to Christmas, when the company would be handing out bonuses. She shouldn’t really be annoyed if he worked hard; after all, it wasn’t as if he was running around the city with his friends, hitting bars and partying it up. And she’d been enjoying an early night curled up with a book, in any case.
Quiet footsteps moved closer to the room, and Brinkley jumped to attention the moment the door opened. Danny stood with his hand on the door handle, a hesitant look on his face.
The moment he saw Beth he broke into a half-smile. ‘Hey, I thought you might be asleep,’ he said quietly as Brinkley jumped from the bed and crossed the distance between them. ‘Early night?’ He leaned down to place his briefcase on the floor and picked up the dog, scratching him around the ears, much to Brinkley’s enjoyment.
Beth smiled and stretched her arms above her head. She kicked her legs from under the bed sheet and stood up. ‘Yeah. It’s so cold out, and I was just reading.’ As she drew closer and opened her arms for a hug, instead of welcoming her embrace Danny quickly handed her Brinkley, almost as if he wanted to avoid physical contact.
A curious act that didn’t go unnoticed by Beth.
‘What? No hug?’ she joked.
Avoiding her gaze, Da
nny kissed her on the cheek and moved around her on his way to the bathroom. ‘In a minute, for your own sake,’ he chuckled. ‘Sorry, it’s been a long day and I really need a shower. I, uh … just hit the gym.’
Beth nuzzled Brinkley’s neck and thought about his words, feeling slightly crestfallen that he’d gone somewhere else instead of being home early like he’d promised. ‘I thought you were working late at the office? How did you find time to head down to the gym?’
Danny shrugged out of his shirt and threw it into the laundry hamper. ‘I was so stressed from work, I needed to blow off some steam. A new place opened just a few blocks away. Actually, I almost slipped on the ice trying to rush home.’
Beth followed him into the bathroom as he undressed and started the water. A moment later, with steam billowing from the bathtub, he opened the shower curtain and slid in. While she had always been an admirer of Danny’s toned physique she had to admit lately there was something different about him.
‘Have you been working out harder recently? Or dieting even?’ she asked.
He stuck his head out of the shower and considered her words. ‘Me – diet? Nah. Just doing the usual. If anything, I’m eating more junk at the desk lately.’ His head disappeared once again and Beth thought about it. He looked leaner, as if he had definitely been working out harder, or eating less. ‘Why do you ask?’ came the question from the shower.
She shrugged. ‘You just look like you’ve lost some weight lately. Nothing major. I was just wondering if you were doing something different at the gym. Getting pumped up or something, trying to impress the ladies…’ she added, chuckling.
There was a brief pause from the other side of the curtain. ‘No, nothing different. It’s probably just stress, to be honest.’
Beth nodded and pushed the thought from her mind. It was true that while she had the tendency to put on a few pounds when she was worried about something – finding comfort in ice cream and chocolate – Danny usually went in the other direction.
Typical, she thought, men shed pounds when they’re stressed or busy with work. Whereas she tended to pack them on, especially at this time of year. Only today at lunchtime, she’d popped over to Lindton Fifth Avenue, where they routinely handed out free Lindor truffles for the holiday season. That would have to stop, or she’d soon end up looking like one of those spherical chocolates herself.
