by Hope Ford
When my brother and Mack went back, I kept in touch with Mack by Skype and email. I thought my parents would have a problem with me being with someone so much older. But they saw it; they knew how we felt about each other. We talked and emailed each other every chance we got for six months. It was great. He was scheduled to come home soon, and I couldn’t wait. I was in my first year of college, but I didn’t go to the crazy college parties. I spent most of my time studying and hanging out with my friends, but always thinking about Mack.
Shortly before Mack was coming home, he stopped calling me. It was three days and twenty-two hours later that I found out he had been injured. He had been transported back to the States and I was on the first flight to Virginia where he was in the hospital. No one would tell me how bad it was.
I remember running into the hospital so afraid. When I was running down the hallway to his room, my brother stopped me.
I ran to him and held onto him finally letting my emotions free, crying in his arms. When I get myself together, I pull from him.
“Kelsey, you can’t go in there.”
“What are you talking about, Jack?”
“I’m sorry, honey. He doesn’t want to see you.”
I stare back at him aghast. Of everything I imagined, I never imagined this.
“What do you mean. Of course, he does.” And I shove against him to get by.
He grabs my hand to stop me, “Kelsey, I’m sorry.”
I jerk from him. “Jack, I’m not leaving here without seeing him.”
He opened his mouth to say something and suddenly stops. He looks at me and shakes his head. “Okay, Kelsey, I’ll be here if you need me.”
I stare at him with one had on the door knob. I take a deep breath and open the door.
Walking into that room was one of the easiest and hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. I walk into the room and Mack is laying there. He is pale and sickly looking. He is covered with a sheet. His face is covered in bruises, but he’s alive. He’s still perfect to me. I walk closer to the bed and look at his familiar tattoos covering his arms. His once clean-shaven face is covered with a few days of stubble. His black hair is tousled. His chest rises and falls with every breath he takes. I can’t stop myself from reaching out to touch his hand laying on top of the cover.
“Kelsey…”
My eyes snap to his, and his eyes are still closed. “Mack, it’s me. I’m here.”
He opens his eyes and he looks at me. He squeezes onto my hand and says my name again.
“You shouldn’t have come, Kelsey.”
“You’re hurt, Mack. Of course, I would come.”
“You need to leave, Kelsey.”
I grip his hand tighter, “what are you talking about, Mack? I came here for you.”
He pulls his hand from mine and I stop myself from clenching onto him. “Mack, what’s going on? What happened?”
“Kelsey, I don’t want to hurt you, but I need you to leave. I need to focus on me now, take care of me. What we had was fun while it lasted, but we are over.”
“Mack, we had plans. We were going to be together when you came home. Please, please let me be here for you. I don’t understand what’s happening.” My whole body began to shake. My voice trembled with every word I muttered. I felt a pain in my chest that almost took my breath away.
When I glanced at him, I swear I saw the pain in his face. He clenched his eyes closed and opened them, a determined look on his face. “Kelsey, I want you to leave. I don’t want you anymore. You’re a child. I don’t want you. I’m sorry. Please leave.” He turns his back to me. I stand there looking at him and my heart shatters in two. I turn from him and walk out the door. I walk past my brother, but he follows me and takes me to the airport. He holds me until I get on the plane.
My life changed that day. I went back home and threw myself into my studies. I knew that something bad had to have happened to Mack. This was not like him. I know he loved me. I tried to get more information from Jack and all he would tell me was that Mack was hurt really bad, but he would be okay. I tried calling Mack a few times after that. He never answered. I finally gave up after one day I called, and the phone had been disconnected.
Even now, after everything has happened, I still wish I had given him my virginity. I wish I had that memory of us together, even after how bad he hurt me. I’ve dated the last three years, but nothing serious. And I’ve had opportunities to have sex, but I could never go through with it. It just never felt right.
So here I am, a college graduate, in love with a man that doesn’t want me, and still a virgin. I shake my head as if I’m trying to get rid of the memories in my head. I can think about this another day. Today… today I graduate college.
I get up and grab my cap and gown off the bed and walk out the door.
Chapter 2
Mack
Even though I was never able to return to the service, I still keep in touch with Jack. We have been like brothers and he’s helped me these last few years. He also keeps me updated on Kelsey. He told me about how he regretted that he would not be able to be here for Kelsey’s college graduation. He just mentioned it to me, but I answered him the same way he has ever mentioned Kelsey… with a grunt.
The truth is I want to see her. I can’t stop myself from going to her graduation just to see her. After I left the Army, I moved to Knoxville, TN. It’s the next town over where Kelsey goes to school. I could have moved back home to Texas. But even though I never planned on seeing her again, I wanted to be close to her. I imagine the graduation will be packed and the chances of her seeing me are slim to none. I can sneak in the back, see her get her diploma, and leave. So that’s what I do, I am standing in the back of the large auditorium waiting to hear her name.
I found her as soon as I walked in the room. She is more beautiful than ever. Her long brown hair hanging down her back. She looks like she has put on weight, but she is beautiful. I watch her walk across the stage and receive her diploma. I hear her family going crazy in the corner hollering for her and I hold myself back from joining in. I can’t take my eyes off her as she walks back to her chair. Just as she’s about to sit down, she raises her head and looks up, straight into my eyes. I see her eyes widen and her lips open in a gasp. She sets her cap down in her seat and starts walking towards the back of the auditorium, towards me. I freeze for a second, and my cock stiffens in my pants as if it knows she’s coming for us. I get myself together and know I can’t talk to her, I have to get out of here. I walk out the door and head to my car.
“Mack! Mack! Wait, please, wait.”
“Fuck.” I whisper to myself. I wasn’t ready for this.
I turn to her and she is running towards me. She throws her arms around me almost throwing me off balance. I try to keep my hands to my sides, but to finally have her in my arms again, is like heaven. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me. “Congratulations, Kelsey.”
We stand there just holding onto each other, neither one of us wanting to let the other go. Her soft round curves rubbing against me and I feel more in that moment than I have in the last three and a half years. It’s like my body has finally woke up. I breathe her in, trying to find a way to keep her scent with me. I pull away from her and tell her again, “Congratulations, Kelsey.”
“Thanks. Did you come to see me?”
“Yeah, I wanted to see you graduate. But I better go now.”
“Please, Mack, please. Don’t do this. I deserve some answers. I haven’t been able to move on these last three and a half years. I need answers… to be able to get on with my life.”
“Kelsey, I didn’t come to ruin your graduation. I just wanted to see you.”
“Can we get together? Come to the house, Mom and Dad are throwing me a party.”
“That’s not a good idea.” I look at her and I see the pain in her eyes. She was so happy to see me and I’m hurting her again. That was never my intention. It was selfish of me to come tonight. I do
owe her… at least some answers to her questions. “Are you busy later? Call me after your party is over, we can talk then.”
I give my number to her, she hugs me again and I watch her walk back into her graduation. I take a deep breath and walk to my car.
I have killed men to protect our country. I have been shot, hell, I have been blown up. I have lost half of one of my legs and went through a brutal physical therapy to walk again. But the hardest thing I have ever done was turn Kelsey away all those years ago. I don’t know if I will have the strength to do it again.
Chapter 3
Kelsey
I still can’t believe he came to my graduation. I’m at my Mom and Dad’s house and we are celebrating my graduation. They live only thirty minutes from college, but they still allowed me to live at the dorm. It’s going to be different living under their roof again. At least until I start my new job and make enough money to live on my own. All of my family is here, except my brother. The party is finally winding down and honestly, I can’t wait for it to be over, so I can call Mack.
Mack… he looks even better than I remember. Oh I could be mad at him, and a part of me still is. But I know Mack. I know there is a reason why he did what he did. I call him and he tells me he’s on his way to get me. When he parks his car in our now empty driveway, I run outside to see him. I know my parents would love to see him, but I want him to myself a little longer.
We decide to go to the park. We walk the three blocks to the park, and I can’t help but notice his slight limp. We are quiet the way there. I’m in my mind, trying to figure out what all I want to say to him. Sitting on a park bench, I can’t stop myself from staring at him. His brown hair is longer than I remembered. He’s a lot bigger now. He has always been lean and muscular. But now he is very large, his arms and chest huge. Sitting next to him on the bench, I feel so much smaller than my size fourteen frame.
“Hey, you going to talk to me, Mack?”
He was staring at me the whole time I was taking him in. He takes a deep breath, “what do you want to know, Kelsey?’
“Why? Why did you push me away?”
“It was for the best, Kelsey.”
“The best for who, the best for you?” At this point, my frustrations are clear and I’m getting louder. “I just want the truth, Mack. Tell me the truth.”
“I was hurt, Kelsey. I wasn’t going to put you through that.”
“So you’re saying you did it for me? For me? That’s bullshit, Mack. I loved you. You hurt me. I could have been there for you, we could have got through it together.”
“Kelsey, you don’t get it. I wasn’t going to do that to you. I may have hurt you, but you would have hurt worse in the long run.”
I want to scream in frustration, “Mack, what are you talking about. Just tell me.”
He stands up and I stand up to, we are facing each other, and our breaths are mingled because we are so close. He grabs me by the shoulders. “Kelsey, I knew you wouldn’t leave me, so I had to make you leave. I couldn’t be with you anymore. I didn’t want you stuck with me… with a handicap.”
I start to open my mouth again to argue with him and stumble out the words, “Handicap… you’re not handicapped.”
He pushes me gently to the bench. “I am, Kelsey, I’m handicapped.” He raises his pant leg and he has what looks like a metal leg from the knee down.
I look at his leg for moments, totally amazed. I had no idea. “Why didn’t you tell me, why didn’t Jack tell me.”
“Kelsey, don’t be mad at Jack. I made him promise. I know you. You would have stayed with me. You would have been stuck with me, Kelsey. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“You idiot. I loved you. Are you telling me the only reason we are not together is because you lost your leg and your handicapped.” I’m so overcome with emotion right now. I want to punch something... I want to punch someone. “Mack, look at you. You’re walking, your able to talk, feel, touch… you threw me away… you threw us away…” I am right up against him, heaving in and out, unable to control my breathing. I press my lips to his and put all my emotion into that one kiss, I put my arms around him as far as they will go and hold onto him. When we break apart he sets my feet on the ground and I’m looking up at him. “Mack, what if it was me?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I lost a limb? What if I took the choice to stay or not away from you? What if I pushed you out of my life when I was hurting? How would you feel?” I look up at him and I see the anguish in his face. He’s looking at me with so much pain, and I hate I’ve hurt him this way. I go back up on my tiptoes, wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him down to me. I press my lips to his once again, trying to save every feeling I have being in his arms again. I break away from him and walk back home. I never look back at him, but I feel his eyes on me the whole way home.
Chapter 4
Mack
Kelsey acts like it was an easy decision, but it wasn’t. I was in a bad place. I was told that I would never walk again. I have damage to both legs, but thankfully I only lost one. It took me forever to work through physical therapy and my future was so unsure. She is perfection; she is so young and doesn’t deserve to be put in that situation.
Yes, I can walk, bike, do most things… but I’m still not a whole man… and that’s what she deserves. What kind of husband, or father would I be. She doesn’t understand. It’s hard and I hurt her. But even now I feel like I made the right decision.
I walk slowly behind her, following her home. I watch her walk into her house and I go to my car and head home. The taste of her still on my lips.
Sitting on my couch at home, I can’t get the thought of Kelsey out of my head. Having her in my arms again was like a dream come true. She fit perfectly in my arms; like a perfect match. I didn’t think it was possible, but she is even more beautiful now. Thinking about her rounded ass, soft belly and large breasts pressed against me, has my cock hard, straining against my zipper. I grab onto my hard cock through my pants and try to shift to get more comfortable. I want a release so bad; I imagine her laying on top of me and sliding down on my hard length. She would be wet, I would make sure of it. I unzip my pant and pull out my cock. The head is red, swollen, angry looking. I stroke my hand down it’s length. I picture Kelsey straddling me and pushing into her slick center. She would be tight, gripping onto me. I run my hand up and down; thinking of her large breast bouncing up and down in my face. I groan as my release comes and I moan out her name. It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex; month before I met Kelsey four years ago. Once I met her, I knew she was the one. I never wanted to rush her, I thought we had forever... until I threw it all away.
Chapter 5
Kelsey
I finally get a hold of my brother, Jack. I’m mad… I’m so pissed. And who else to take it out on than my brother. We just logged into Skype and just by looking at my face… he knows.
“You know about Mack, don’t you?”
“Yes, Jack, how could you keep something like that from me?”
“Kelsey, it wasn’t my place to tell you. And at the time no one could tell us if he would ever walk again. You were young and I know you… you would have stayed with him. What about your future. And all the therapy, he’s had a rough few years, Kelsey.”
The more Jack talked the more I softened. “You’re right Jack, I would have stayed with him. Because I loved him. You shouldn’t… he shouldn’t have taken that choice from me.”
“I know, Kelsey. Trust me. If I had to redo it I would have made a different decision. I see how you are now. I know you have not gotten over him.”
I’m crying now. “I just don’t see how you all – you both could have hurt me like this. It kills me that he needed me, and I wasn’t there for him.”
“I’m sorry, Kelsey…. How is Mack?”
“He came to my graduation. He wasn’t even going to say hi to me. I was lucky I saw him.”
“Kelsey, I kn
ow what he did was wrong. I know he hurt you. But I do believe what he did… he really thought it was what was best for you.”
“I believe you, Jack. But what do I do now? I can’t walk away from him again.”
“If you’re sure he is what you want, then convince him that he is the best thing for you.”
“You’re right.”
I get lost in thought trying to think of a plan. I talk to Jack for a little while and am glad to hear he is coming home soon. When I hang up, I lay in bed for hours thinking of Jack. He looked so good today. He felt so good. It just felt right to be back in his arms again. I can’t sleep for trying to figure out how to get him back. I send Jack a text and ask him if I can come talk to him tomorrow. He sends me his address and I am surprised to find out that he is living in the next town over. All this time, he has been close by.
The next morning, I get ready, and drive the twenty minutes to his house. When I pull into his driveway, I sit there and pull myself together. I have a plan… a plan to get Mack back.
I ring the doorbell. His house is a beautiful two-story house with a wrap around porch. He opens the door. He’s in khaki shorts and a black t shirt. His arms and forearms flexed as he holds the door open.
I look him up and down. I look at his metal leg and notice his other leg is covered in scars too. My smile falters for just a second. I hate imagining all that he has been through. I catch myself, put a smile back on my face, “can I come in?”
“Sure.” We walk in and he leads me to the living room. I look around the room and see pictures on the mantle. I can’t help but gasp when I see the picture of the two of us together right after my high school graduation. Seeing that picture only reassures me that I am making the right decision.
