A Secret of the Heart (Amish Secrets--Book 3)

by J. E. B. Spredemann

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  Lillianna quickly snatched up the phone on the second ring. “Hello?”

  “How’s my beautiful girl doing today?” Thomas’ voice caused her heart to flip flop.

  “I am gut. How are you?”

  “Treatment is going better than expected. Guess what?”

  “What?”

  “No enemas.”

  Lillianna laughed. “Was that your biggest concern?”

  “Mostly. You won’t believe it here, Lil. The people are so easygoing. The doctors laid out the different treatment options, which are all natural by the way, that would work best for my cancer and I got to choose which treatments I want to use.” She easily picked up the excitement in his voice.

  “That sounds wonderful, Thomas. How are you feeling?”

  “All right. I’m adjusting to the different foods and juices and things, so my body is a little wacky right now. They said that’s normal, though. Once my body has a chance to cleanse itself, it can begin rebuilding the damaged caused by the cancer and chemo.”

  “Glad to hear it.” She hesitated. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, Lil. I can’t wait until this is over and you and I can begin our lives together. How is it going at the Stevenson place?”

  “Fine. I went to church on Sunday.”

  “An Englischers’ church? Really?”

  “Jah. It was awkward.”

  “I know what you mean. I attended a service here on Sunday too,” he admitted.

  “You did, Thomas?” She was certain he heard the surprise in her voice.

  “I wish I hadn’t.”

  Her joy deflated. “Oh.”

  “I shared a meal afterward with one of the patients who attended. Some Bible-thumper. Do you know he had the audacity to call me a liar to my face?” She heard Thomas’ ire.

  “Why?”

  “Because I told him that God doesn’t exist.”

  Lillianna took a deep breath and prayed for words of wisdom. “Thomas, you know I love you, but I need to say something.”

  “Okay.”

  “Every time someone reaches out to you, even if it’s to point out your sin and they seem to be judging you, it is a token of God’s mercy. He sees the past, present, and future. Jesus is the only way to Heaven: the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is your only hope. He is your Creator and He loves you more than you could ever love yourself. Please turn to Him. Please don’t be deceived into thinking your way is better than His. God’s way is perfect.”

  “Wow, Lil. I didn’t know you’d become a preacher.” He chuckled.

  “Thomas,” she warned.

  “I’m kidding, baby. I’m trying; I really am. That’s why I went to the service on Sunday. But please don’t start telling me that I’m going to Hell.”

  Tears rushed to Lillianna’s eyes. “I don’t know what to do or say to you, Tommy. You’re about to die. I don’t see how you can’t be thinking about these things.”

  “I didn’t say I haven’t thought about it. I just need to work through things my own way. Understand?”

  Lillianna shrugged her shoulders as though Tommy could see her through the phone. “Guess so.” She remembered what Candace had said earlier. “Tommy, do you have a computer there?”

  “A computer? Yeah, I brought my laptop along. Why?”

  “Well, would you be willing to watch something? Candace told me about a man who has some videos online. She said they were really gut. Would you give them a try?”

  “What are they about?”

  “Evolution and Creation. And before you say no, remember you’re the one who said to keep an open mind.”

  He chuckled. “Okay, you win. I’ll check them out.”

  “Denki, Tommy.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Lillianna’s face brightened when a gentle knock rapped on her door. Must be one of the kinner. She’d quickly fallen in love with young Cammie and Cal and felt as though she were more of an aunt to them rather than a nanny. Since Candace only worked part-time, today was one of the days Lillianna didn’t have to tend to the children’s needs.

  “Kumm,” she invited.

  The two children rushed in and abruptly jumped onto the bed. Calvin handed Lillianna a letter.

  “A letter for me?” Lillianna’s brow rose.

  “Yep, Mommy said we could bring it to you,” Cammie informed her.

  “Who’s it from?” Cal asked.

  Lillianna noticed the address right away. Home. “My younger sister.” She determined by the handwriting.

  “Do you want us to leave so you can read it?” Cal asked.

  “No, I can read it later. You two can stay for a while.” Lillianna walked to the desk in her room and tucked the letter into her Bible.

  Calvin looked around her room and frowned. “Must be boring in here with no toys.”

  Lillianna chuckled. “I imagine for a five-year-old it might be boring. Do you like to read?”

  “I read!” Cammie handed her a board book with no words.

  Lilly smiled. “You do, don’t you? Will you read to me?”

  Cammie’s eyes grew wide and she nodded vigorously. She sidled up close to Lillianna, then eventually climbed into her lap. Lillianna loved the smell of Camille’s freshly-shampooed hair.

  “Pincess loves horsey. Horsey loves Pincess.” Cammie flipped a couple of pages. “Bad guy wants to take horsey from Pincess.”

  Lillianna smiled when she saw that the ‘bad guy’ was actually the handsome prince. Children’s imaginations were wonderful.

  “Calvin, Camille,” Candace called from downstairs.

  “Oh, Mommy’s calling. You better go now.” Lillianna helped Calvin and Camille off the bed.

  “I wanna read!” Cammie pouted.

  “Nee, you must obey your mother. Go now. You can finish reading that to me later.”

  Camille’s face brightened. “Okay.”

  Lillianna watched as the children exited her room. Camille’s book was tucked securely under her arm and Calvin marched like a soldier. She yearned for the day she and Tommy would marry and they would have kinner of their own. She briefly wondered what they would look like. Would they favor her or Tommy or be a mixture of both?

  Time to read Mandy’s letter. She pulled the envelope from her Bible and sank into the comfy office chair near her desk.

  Dear Lilly,

  Greetings in the name of our Lord. I hope this letter finds you well. Mamm says to tell you hello, but she won’t be writing to you. I think you already know why. Dat doesn’t allow any of us to mention your name. He doesn’t know that I’m writing to you. He’s certain you’re headed for Hell since you disobeyed him and are living at the Englischers’ house.

  I have happy news. James and I are getting hitched come wedding season. I wish you could be here for it. Mamm and Dat don’t know yet, but they will find out before too long.

  How is Thomas? Have you heard from him? How are you doing in that fancy Englischer’s house? Dat about fainted dead away when he saw that fancy car pull up. I kind of wished it were me going instead. How exciting to live an Englisch life for a whole year! But you’ll come back to the Amish, won’t you Lilly? I hope so ‘cause I don’t like seeing Mamm and Dat this way. They are praying hard for you. I hope you’ll write me back.

  Your favorite sister (haha),

  Mandy

  Lillianna folded the letter up and placed it back into the envelope, then tucked it into her Bible. She’d send a letter back tomorrow.

  <><><>

  Lillianna savored the chicken fajita supper Clay had prepared for the family. He really was a great cook, to Lilly’s surprise. Apparently, before his political career he’d tried his hand in the culinary arts. His schooling paid off well, she admitted. She’d have to ask him what kind of spices he used.

  Clay hopped up from the dinner table. “Oh, I almost forgot.” He went to his briefcase and pulled out a tabloid newspaper. He thrust it toward Candace. “You’re not going to believe this. F
rank brought this to me today. He found it at the grocery store.”

  Candace held the paper up to read it. “Oh, my. How can they say that?”

  Lillianna had no clue as to what they were talking about but figured it wasn’t any of her business.

  “You’ve gotta see this, Lillianna.” Candace handed her the newspaper.

  Lilly stared down at a photograph of herself dancing with Clay Stevenson. She read the title, ‘Congressman Stevenson in the Embrace of Mysterious Woman’. She continued to read the story which hinted at them having an affair. Her mouth dropped. “How can they write such lies?”

  Candace shrugged. “It’s the media – sensational journalism – they make up whatever they want to. They don’t care if it’s true or not.”

  “But that’s wrong,” she protested.

  “That’s life. Don’t worry, most people won’t believe it. You can’t trust anything those tabloids write,” Clay said. He reached over and gently rubbed her hand in reassurance.

  Lillianna shook her head in disgust. Dat would surely believe it if he saw it. And what about Thomas? It looked like she would be doing a lot of praying tonight.

  “By the way, Lillianna, do you think you can handle a weekend off? We were planning on getting away one of these weekends.” Candace leaned over and whispered, “We want to take the kids someplace special.”

  A whole weekend off? What would she do with herself? She immediately began planning and a smile turned up the sides of her lips.

  <><><>

  Sure enough, Thomas had seen the paper. She’d hoped to spare him the grief, but she could only control so much. Hopefully, Tommy trusted her enough to know she’d never do something like what they’d mentioned in the fake article.

  “I believe you, Lil. But help me understand why you’re in the arms of Congressman Stevenson. In a very appealing dress, I might add.” Thomas’ disillusioned voice rang clear.

  She realized she owed him an explanation. “I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to wear the dress. And I really didn’t even want to dance. I felt compelled to. It was Candace who suggested it because I’d said I’d never danced before. She and the kinner were at the table watching the whole time. It was a charity auction.”

  “If you say that’s what happened, I believe you. I just don’t want anyone stealing my girl while I’m gone.”

  “If I was going to sleep with anyone, it would’ve been with you. Not some married politician.”

  “Hey, I like the sound of that! I think I’ll ask them to up my vitamin C dosage so I can get home quicker.” He chuckled.

  “After we’re married,” she emphasized.

  “I’m counting the days.” She could see his smile through the phone.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Lillianna hopped up when the doorbell rang and hurried toward the door. It was most likely another package, which the Stevenson family seemed to receive often.

  “Keep playing, but wait when it comes to my turn,” she instructed Camille and Calvin.

  She yanked the door open.

  “Oh…Samuel?” Lillianna said in surprise.

  “Hiya, Lillianna. I, uh, brought something for you.” Samuel Beachy held a quilt under one arm. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away quickly.

  Lillianna’s heart went out to him. She really didn’t know what to say to Carolanne’s widower. “How are you doing?”

  He gave a slight nod. “I have something of Carolanne’s.” His eyes shifted downward and he swallowed. “I hope you don’t mind me coming here. You were a gut friend. I thought you would like to have this quilt.”

  “Denki, Samuel. But are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

  “I kept one. I’m leaving for Pennsylvania soon. I decided to go back home.” His eyes brightened a little at the mention of home.

  She nodded in appreciation and received the quilt from his outstretched arms. “I hope you’ll be happy there, Samuel.”

  He nodded and turned to go.

  “Uh, Samuel,” she called out.

  He stopped and turned around.

  “Thank you for loving Carolanne. You were gut for her. She couldn’t have found a better husband.”

  He raised a half-smile. “Denki.”

  Lillianna watched as Samuel drove away in a vehicle chauffeured by an Englisch driver. With all her heart, she wished Samuel the best. Perhaps he could find love again in Pennsylvania.

  <><><>

  For the first time since his diagnosis, Thomas felt hopeful. New possibilities danced in his mind as he realized he might actually have a future. A future with Lil, a future with…his siblings? He hadn’t thought much about it, but what if he and Lil went back to Pennsylvania? She’d said that her father had shunned her, so that door was pretty much closed. Not that they would be joining the Amish church anyway. No way.

  Thomas pondered the idea for a few more moments then finalized his decision. He’d send a letter to his sister, Rhoda.

  “Hey.” Michael, a fellow patient, popped his head in the door. “Some of us are heading to the beach. Wanna come?”

  “Ah, can’t, man. I’ve got an IV treatment in a half hour,” Thomas declined. “Thanks for the invite, though.”

  “No, prob. Maybe next time.”

  Thomas had been to the beach twice already. The water had been pleasant and the beach was beautiful, although he had to be mindful of the jellyfish. And the women in bathing suits. He briefly imagined what Lillianna would look like in one. Would he ever get her to wear one? He sure hoped so.

  He glanced up at the clock on the wall and determined he’d still have enough time to write that letter before his next treatment session started. He’d better get busy.

  <><><>

  Lillianna scanned over the checklist Candace had given her. Had she packed everything the kinner needed for their trip? She opened up their suitcases one more time, making sure she hadn’t missed anything. She wouldn’t want the Stevensons to be disappointed in her childcare skills. Who knows? Perhaps they’d want her to work for them again in the future. She was certain she and Thomas could use the extra money after they were wed.

  The Stevensons had been generous in giving her an entire weekend off. She’d never had that much time to herself and she briefly wondered what she’d do. Certainly, she’d think of something.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Lillianna awoke with a smile, realizing she had the next two days to herself. She walked into the restroom and glanced down at the fancy bathtub. This is the perfect time to indulge in a bubble bath. She turned the water on, poured in some bubble bath, and let it run until it was half full.

  She giggled. This would be fun. Nothing much to do except enjoy herself and be lazy all day. Of course, she had her list of daily chores to do but those would only take a few hours at the most. She’d have plenty of time to complete them later. First a bath, then a phone call to Thomas, and the videos Candace had recommended. Maybe she’d make some zucchini bread too.

  Lillianna quickly slipped out of the clothes she’d worn to bed, removed her sleeping kapp, and let her hair down. She peered into the bubbly water and dipped her foot in. Ouch! She’d made it too hot. She’d have to wait a bit before slipping in. Opening up the medicine cabinet above the sink, she found the body wash and shampoo and placed them near the tub. Candles! Lillianna remembered the candles Candace had generously offered to let her use. She’d have to go get them from the master bathroom towel closet.

  A cup of tea sounds gut. Lillianna snatched her robe from off the hook in the bathroom and hastily wrapped it around her. She’d have plenty of time to make a cup of tea and get the candles before the bath water cooled down. Lillianna filled the kettle and heated the water; she poured it into a mug and dropped a tea bag in to steep.

  Lillianna took a sip of the hot beverage and placed it on a dresser in Candace’s room. She opened the towel closet and searched for the tea light candles, recalling that Candace said they were on the top shelf. She removed
several small boxes of candles and smelled each one. Vanilla, mmm… She took the box of vanilla candles and placed the others neatly back on the shelf.

  A nearly inaudible squeak drew her attention to the congressman’s office door. Oh no, is someone in there? She hastily picked up her tea cup and started toward her room.

  “No need to run off, it’s just me,” the congressman’s voice called from his office door.

  “Ach, I thought you’d left. I didn’t realize anyone was here.” Lillianna glanced down at herself in a robe and her cheeks flushed.

  “I had a little business to finish up, so I sent the family on ahead. I plan to meet up with them this evening.” He stepped toward her and smiled. “It’s just the two of us here.”

  “I’ll get out of your way then. My bath is getting cold.” Lillianna felt more awkward by the minute.

  The congressman quickly stepped in front of her, blocking the path. “Your hair is beautiful down.” He reached out and stroked her hair with his fingers. “You should wear it this way all the time.”

  “I need to go.” Lillianna’s pulse quickened.

  “What’s your hurry?” He grasped the tea cup from her hand and moved it to the dresser.

  Lillianna rapidly made her way toward the door, but it closed just before she reached it. She twisted the doorknob to no avail. What was going on?

  The congressman roared with laughter and held up a remote control. “Thought you’d get away that easily?”

  “Please, Congressman Stevenson, stop playing games.”

  “Oh, this is no game. And call me Clay, please. Congressman Stevenson sounds so… impersonal,” he said nonchalantly.

  “Please open the door, Clay.” She twisted the knob again, attempting to escape.

  “I will. Eventually.” He stuck the remote control under his pillow and advanced toward Lillianna. He brought his hand to her face and gently caressed her cheek and neck. “You know, you looked really seductive in that dress you wore to the charity gala.”