by Kait Nolan
Norah put the thought out of her mind. She had one war to fight right now, one stubborn man to convince. She crossed the room toward him. “What would you have done if I hadn’t been here when the GrandGoods proposal came in? If I hadn’t been here to tell you expressly what it could mean?”
“I’d have fought it, regardless.”
“How? Would you have mobilized the citizenry? Even thought to get an economic impact study? Would you have had the grounds to delay things this far?”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “I don’t know.”
Norah nodded. “You’re out of your depth. You knew that when you asked me to stay. Now I know this is frustrating. It’s not what we’d hoped for. But this is just a battle, Cam. It’s not the war.”
“They’re not going to listen. They don’t want to listen. How can you possibly combat that?”
All the Campbells had similar streaks of mulish stubbornness. After years of living with Miranda, Norah was well-versed in the various shades of that expression, so she knew she wasn’t making a dent. She shifted tactics. “What were you doing when you were fifteen?”
“What?”
“When you were fifteen. What were you doing? School? Sports? Dating? Getting your learner’s permit to drive?”
“Yeah, all that, I guess. Why?”
“When I was fifteen, I was in Cincinnati with my mom. Public school. New kid…again. And I still managed to get elected class president. While in office, I used my position to orchestrate the clean up and rehab of half a dozen inner-city playgrounds and started an urban gardening initiative that’s still in operation. Sixteen was Philadelphia. Dad that year. Catholic school. I was a youth activist for the ACLU. Seventeen, I was in Boston with Mom again. Private school. I interned with Amnesty International. Oh, followed by a summer internship at the Smithsonian while Dad was in D.C. arguing with Congress. So while you got to live your life and be a normal teenager who did normal teenager things, I was being shaped and trained to be an extension of my parents’ successes. That is what my parents expected of me. Because that’s what Burkes are supposed to do. We save the world. Except not me.
“No, I eschewed Harvard, avoided law school, ran from med school. I built a goddamned good career in a field that has absolutely nothing to do with the humanitarian background my parents gave me. A fact which my father, in particular, takes great pains to remind me is a waste of my potential and the advantages they worked to give me. When he’s not busy cross-examining me about my decisions. That’s what he said to me when I finally talked to him yesterday. That he was disappointed in me. That he expected better of me. After all but demanding the legal documents related to the sordid affair of Morton to prove I didn’t actually know anything underhanded was taking place.”
Miranda made an inarticulate sound of rage—the same emotion Norah could see echoed in Cam’s face.
“Your father’s an asshole.” She appreciated the growl in his voice that said exactly what he’d like to do to her dad.
“He’s an idealist with a very explicitly defined vision that doesn’t take anyone else’s wants into account. And he happens to know exactly which ribs to shove the knife between to try to manipulate me into doing what he wants. The fact is, he’s right. After everything that happened in Morton, I expect better of me. I was given every advantage, every possible form of training to do great things, to take on any challenge and come out the victor. I may disagree with my parents on the nature of what those great things are, but through circumstance or fate or the alignment of the goddamn stars, I was brought here, right now, for this.” For you. The certainty of the thought gave her pause, but she didn’t voice it. “I have exactly the skillset and the indefatigable ego needed for the job. I may not be saving the world by my parents’ standards, but by damn I’m going to save yours. So you have five more minutes to waste on this useless pity party before I expect you to get your ass back to work. Do I make myself clear?”
From somewhere behind her, Mitch said, “And though she be but wee, she is mighty.”
Norah felt her lips twitch, but didn’t look away from Cam.
“Are you always this fearless?”
Fearless. What a joke. But Norah supposed it probably did look like that from the outside. Because she acted rather than standing paralyzed in the face of challenge.
“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important. Wishful is more important.” And so was Cam, though Norah didn’t give voice to that thought either.
“What about your job search?”
“I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. If that means further damage to my career, then at least I’ll be able to sleep at night.” She turned away because she couldn’t bear the hopeless expression on his face. “Mitch, can you move those site visits this afternoon?”
“I can and will. What are your orders, my general?”
“You’re coming with me.” She pulled out her phone and dialed before the plan had fully solidified in her brain.
“Edison Hardware.”
“Tyler, it’s Norah. Have you got somebody who can man the store for a few hours?”
“I can call in Dad. What’s up?”
“I need your design skills.”
Norah could hear the other woman’s interest pique. “For what?”
A miracle. “Tell you when I get there. Mitch and I will be in to pick you up in half an hour.”
She called Molly next, arranged for the coalition chair to meet them downtown. Then and only then did she turn to Cam. He hadn’t moved from where she’d interrupted his pacing. She couldn’t read his shuttered expression, couldn’t tell if she’d crossed a line or pissed him off.
“Five minutes are up. Are you coming?”
“There’s something else I need to do first.” Without another glance her way, he stalked from the room.
Speechless, she stared after him. He’d walked away. She didn’t know what she’d wanted, exactly. For him to leap enthusiastically back into the cause. To say, “I trust you. I’m sorry I doubted. What next?” To say he believed in her and her ability to pull this off. To show any kind of willingness to keep fighting. Because, Lord knew, she could use some of that support right now.
But maybe he didn’t believe.
And that meant she’d failed where it mattered most.
Aunt Liz wrapped an arm around Norah’s shoulders. “He’ll come around.”
Norah wasn’t at all sure that he would. But that was a disappointment that would have to wait until she’d finished her own fight.
~*~
Hush’s berserker mode let Cam know that Norah had finally come in search of him, despite the drizzling rain. He continued to sip at his beer, simply calling out, “It’s open!” when she knocked.
The fruits of the afternoon’s labor sat in a neat stack on the counter, highlighted and cross referenced with the same level of precision he expected from Norah herself. He wasn’t leaving anything open to misinterpretation. Giving this to her at all was a calculated risk. But it was one he had to take or he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. She had a right to know.
Though she lit up in response to the dog, Norah had lost her smile by the time she made it through the gauntlet of Hush’s enthusiastic greeting and crossed the room. “You never made it downtown.” Her tone was cool.
“Sorry. I had some Council business to take care of.”
One delicate brow arched.
“The firm that did the impact study will be attending the hearing when it’s scheduled.” No reason for her to think he was bailing now.
“Good. Were they difficult to track down?” Translation: Where were you the rest of the afternoon?
“No. I was also working on lining up a second evaluation. Avery’s boyfriend, Dillon, is working on his MBA up at Ole Miss. He’s checking to see if any of his professors could do it, or know of someone who can. There’s also the possibility of getting one or more of them to the h
earing to rebut based on the literature, even if we don’t manage to get a full second evaluation. We should hear something in a day or two.”
Her poker face melted into a smile of approval. “Excellent.”
Cam hesitated. “There’s something else. I was following up on some leads.”
She sat at the counter. “On what?”
“I think it’s better if you read that for yourself.” He handed the sheaf of papers to her. “I highlighted the relevant passages.”
Her long, graceful fingers flexed at the edges of the paper as she read the letterhead: City of Morton, Indiana. The blood drained out of her cheeks, only to creep back up from her neck in a flush of shame. Not the reaction he’d expected, and not at all his intention.
“Where did you get this?” Her words came out in a thin, almost whisper. She didn’t look up, didn’t turn past the cover letter.
“I made some calls. Skip to the highlighted stuff.”
She didn’t skip ahead. She read through every line, and Cam struggled not to rush her.
Neon yellow highlighter screamed from the page. Norah’s flush faded as she read it. Her hands fumbled, flipping to the next page and the next, reading the evidence he’d gathered. It all painted a pretty damning picture. Of Philip Vargas.
Fumbling gave way to stillness as she read the final page. She drew a shuddering breath and laid the paperwork on the counter with the same careful deliberation she might use handling a bomb. A sure sign she was trying to control some strong emotion. Cam expected relief or shock, or maybe even anger. But when Norah lifted her head, the mask of professionalism was shattered by…pain.
Thinking perhaps she’d misunderstood, Cam leapt to reassure. “It wasn’t you. That proves it.”
She just shook her head. “Only you. Only you would think to do this.”
Something was horribly wrong. He’d made some egregious miscalculation. This wasn’t how she was supposed to react.
“Norah—”
“You make this so goddamned hard,” she whispered, fisting both hands and pressing them to her eyes.
What?
Stunned, Cam could only watch as Norah shoved back from the counter, movements no longer controlled or precise. Her hands trembled as she grabbed up the paperwork. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears, but there was also an underlying heat he didn’t understand
“Do with it?”
“Other men give flowers or jewelry. And you hand me absolution. No one else would think to chase this down. No one else would even know how.”
“What you said about your dad wanting evidence gave me the idea. It’s all a matter of public record. I just had one of their city councilmen copy it all for me.”
“Of course you did.” She threw her hands toward the ceiling in a gesture of…what? Exasperation? “I am trying so, so hard to do the right thing here. I can resist your charm. I can resist your dimples. I can resist the chemistry between us, though I’ve lost sleep over it. But this—” She shook the papers now crushed in her hand. “—how am I supposed to defend against this?”
Cam’s brain was starting to catch up to hers. Maybe. “I didn’t do it because I expected something from you. You made your position clear. I did it because I can’t stand to see you beating yourself up over something that I knew couldn’t be your fault. You have a right to know the truth.”
“I know. I know, and that makes it almost worse somehow. Because that’s who you are. This honorable, thoughtful, amazing man. Still taking care of me, even though I pushed you away.” She sounded furious about that as she whirled away to pace. “I thought it would be easier if I stayed away from you. As if that was going to stop everything in its tracks. But it hasn’t. God, it hasn’t.” One hand rubbed absently at her chest, as if to ease an ache. “I see you every day and I try to pretend that you fit the same niche as Mitch or Reed. But you don’t. And, damn it, my resolve is only so strong.”
Relief and hope struggled for dominance in his chest. “Well, thank God for that. I’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses for a month. I don’t understand why you thought we should fight this in the first place.”
“I told you—”
“Yes, you told me. You decided that breaking things off was the right thing. But the right thing for who, Norah?”
“You!”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve so much more than a relationship with an expiration date.”
“Why are you so certain there’s gonna be one?”
“Didn’t you listen to anything I said to you a month ago?”
“I listened to a whole lot of bullshit about how you were always going to leave. But you didn’t say whatever you were really thinking. Something flipped that switch for you. Was it Miranda? Did she warn you off? Say we were a bad idea?”
She shook her head. “She didn’t have to. I know we’re a bad idea.”
“Why? Make your case, Norah. Make me understand why you won’t give this a chance.”
He watched her try to pull together the professionalism she so often wore like armor, hated that she felt a need for it.
“I’m a bad bet. I can’t be what you need, what you really want.”
“What is it you think that is?”
“You’re meant for marriage and family. Children. A traditional life.”
The image of a little girl with his eyes and her dark curls, crowned with a big pink bow, came fast and clear in his mind.
“That’s not me, Cam.”
Her words of denial did nothing to stop the picture that had taken root and begun to bloom. He could see it so easily, almost as easily as he could see a truth about her that she didn’t even see herself. “I’ve never met anyone who wants marriage and family and roots more than you. You want all the things you didn’t have growing up or you wouldn’t find my crazy family so appealing.” Unable to stop himself, he reached out, slid a hand around her nape and tilted her face up toward his. “You fit here. Can’t you see that?”
“It’s an illusion. I’m career and ambition. Things I can’t pursue here, not really.”
“You’re more than that.”
“Am I? Or is it that you can’t believe I could be like Melody?”
Whatever argument he’d thought she’d pull out, it wasn’t that. “Leaving aside the fact that I’ve never actually told you about my ex and that my family is apparently a bunch of incurable gossips, that’s absolute bullshit.”
“Really? Bright. Top of my class. Ruthlessly ambitious. Always with an eye on bigger, better things. That all applies to me as much as it did to her.”
“On the surface, maybe it does. But it’s all in the execution, in what those traits drove her to do. Melody would never have put her career on hold to save this town. You’re nothing like her.”
The stubborn jut to Norah’s chin said she wasn’t buying it. How could he convince her that this comparison was complete lunacy?
“If you’d been with me when I dropped out of grad school because my mother had cancer, would you have gone off to Northwestern anyway?”
“Of course not. I’d have deferred enrollment and been right there with you, while I had my mother pulling every contact she had to get your mom in to see the best cancer specialists in the country, instead of just stopping with a few phone calls.”
Cam’s brain ground to a halt as her words sank in. He thought back to those panicked weeks after the diagnosis, the talk of waiting lists and more exams, and all the roadblocks that stood between them and the aggressive treatment his mother needed. And then they’d seemed to disappear. “That’s how she got into MD Anderson so fast, isn’t it? You made that call.”
Norah shrugged. “Sure. What’s the point in being related to one of the top surgeons in the country if you can’t actually use those connections when it matters? It was important to your family, and your family’s important to me. It was the right thing to do.”
His heart
was thudding so fast and hard as the ramifications unfolded in his mind. That one small action on her part might’ve been the thing that kept his mother from dying. Cam framed her face with careful hands and lowered his forehead to hers. “Jesus. You did what you could to help, and you hadn’t even met me yet. That’s who you are. Melody walked away when I needed her most. You’re nothing like her.”
Norah lifted her hands, curled them around his forearms. “I’m enough like her to be bad for you.”
“While I appreciate the sentiment, that isn’t your call. It should be my choice. And I choose you.”
A strange mix of pleasure and pain flickered across her face. Had anyone ever put her first? Not her parents. Certainly not her asshole ex.
“I’ll always choose you. Because you’re worth the risk.”
She was wavering, his name a plea on her lips.
“What are you so afraid of, Norah?”
“You,” she whispered. “You call me fearless, but I’m not. Not when it comes to this. I’m terrified of how you make me feel. Because you tempt me. You make me want things I’ve never wanted before, make me see how my mother got seduced into believing that marriage and family was what she wanted. I don’t want to be like her, don’t want to chase this beautiful thing and then wake up one day and realize I’m suffocating and have to get out. I have that potential in me, and I can’t—won’t risk hurting you like that. You’ve had enough important people walk away from you.”
“The fact that you’re even worried about this proves just how different from them you are. You’re not like Melody. You’re not like my father or your mother. You’re not doomed to making any of the same mistakes or choices.”
“But—”
“But nothing. Am I afraid there’s a chance this won’t pan out? Sure. That’s a possibility in any relationship. But you said yourself, courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the judgment that something else is more important. This is more important. You’re more important, and I choose to take the risk. Take it with me.”
