by J. M. Hewitt
Silence.
A fox, she decided. An urban fox, rooting around the back. After all, they were scavengers, weren’t they? And the bins had just been put out.
Jade drifted back to the window, peered outside.
And then she screamed herself.
She didn’t think her feet touched the floor as she fled out of the room and down the stairs. She yanked open the door, not stopping to put on shoes, not caring that she was in her pyjamas. She shouted all the way down the path, nonsensical words, high-pitched shrieks, pleas for help, hoping that the neighbours would hear her, come out to investigate, come to save her Nan.
She stopped at the gate; the sight of Nan on her back in the ginnel, her slip showing, one shoe on, one shoe off, was even worse than the scream she’d heard. Nan looked up at Jade as she cradled one arm.
* * *
A broken arm, fractured fingers. Bruises on her hip, her back and her face. The plaster cast and the patchwork of colourful cuts made it hard for Jade to look at Nan. She recovered remarkably well for a woman of her years. The next day she was back in her chair, being cooed over and comforted by Jade and Emma. Jordan stood in the doorway, watching the tough old bird who had suddenly been silenced.
‘I want to hurt them, whoever did this,’ raged Jade quietly. ‘Who would do this to an old lady?’
‘Hey, less of the old, missy,’ said Nan, but she was shaken, it was plain to see.
None of them could understand it. It wasn’t like it was a mugging, for Nan didn’t have a bag or a purse or even her coat with her. She had simply been putting the bins out.
‘Bad people,’ murmured Nan, with a lingering look at Emma. ‘There are just bad people out there.’
‘And you didn’t see them? You don’t know who it was?’
‘What, with one bloody light working in the ginnel?’ Nan snorted scornfully. ‘No bloody chance.’
The tables turned, now it was Jade who was the nurse, and Nan who was helpless. Jade swore she would do everything for Nan, bathe her, wash her, even help her to the toilet.
‘No need for that,’ snapped Nan. ‘I’m not a bloody invalid, just a bit bruised.’ She softened her words with a smile. ‘But I’m glad you’re here, wouldn’t want anyone else helping me.’
It made sense to Jade’s parents too. Because if Jade were living with Nan, helping her with her most basic needs, it meant that they didn’t have to do it.
Life settled down and even Jordan stepped up. Usually the outsider, he found a way in by offering to put the bins out for both houses every week. It was unlike him, to put forth a suggestion, and the women, wondering if he needed a role within their tight-knit group, accepted his offer. Although, unbeknown to him, they all watched him carefully, ensuring that he was safe, that there were no more attackers lying in wait as he dragged the heavy bins down to the bottom of the garden. And now, putting the bins out was done while it was still light.
On the first rubbish collection day after the attack, Jordan brought Nan’s bin back, smiling shyly at Jade as she grinned at him from the back door. She felt some semblance of pride for the boy, trying to help, trying to fit in with the adult women.
‘It’s really bad what happened to Nan, you have to be careful, Jordan, when you’re out there playing and messing around. Just don’t piss anyone off, okay, and stay out of trouble.’
She ruffled his hair, he ducked and looked back at her.
‘At least one good thing came out of Nan’s accident,’ he said as he manoeuvred the bin into place by the back door.
‘It did?’ Jade raised her eyebrows. ‘What was that?’
‘You get to live here now, like you always wanted to.’
The last of the summer sun vanished. Jade reflected on Jordan’s words.
Every cloud…
* * *
And now here she was, having forced herself to walk the length of the ginnel, out the other side and round the front. Once again at Emma’s door. Shaking her head as if to remove the memory of that night, Jade raised her hand and knocked.
Twenty-Six
DAY SIX
Emma pulled open the door. She sagged with relief when she saw Jade on her step. She reached forward, grabbed Jade’s arm and yanked her roughly inside.
‘Emma, are you okay?’
‘I found out something, I don’t know how I feel, I feel… sick,’ she decided.
‘What is it? Have you heard about Lee?’
Emma brushed off her question, barely heard it as she guided Jade into the lounge. She snatched up her phone, scrolled to the photo Carrie had let her take of the card, handed it to her friend.
She watched as Jade peered at it. She took a long time to read the words printed inside, using her thumb and forefinger to enlarge the image. Emma folded her arms, tapped her foot impatiently.
‘Where did you find this?’ Jade croaked.
Emma snatched the phone back, held it close to her chest. ‘That detective found it, in his room. Jade, Jordan had a baby!’ she hissed the words, and her tone spoke of excitement and fright.
Jade sat down heavily on the sofa. ‘A baby.’ She repeated Emma’s words.
‘A baby.’ Emma nodded.
‘How do you feel about this?’ Jade asked, cautiously. ‘If this is true, if Jordan had a child, I mean.’
Emma looked at the picture again. ‘I don’t know, it’s such a shock and I never had an inkling. And when? When did this happen? It could be anytime in the last couple of years. I don’t know of any girl he was seeing, not seriously, not ever.’ She peered at the photo as if it would give her clues that had so far eluded her.
The silence surrounded them once more.
* * *
Jade stood up. ‘I have to go, I-I left Nia.’
As Emma stared at the image, Jade thought of the boy waiting next door. She couldn’t tell Emma now, not with this new discovery. Briefly she wondered if she should tell Emma that the police had been at her home yesterday. She tried to form the words, but stalled: what would Emma say? She would want to know what Jade had told them. Nothing, she thought; she had barely talked to them. Hadn’t admitted to knowing if Jordan had had any problems. Jade felt her face redden; she had lied to the police, and yet, she wasn’t sure why.
Another lie. She was protecting Emma and all the things Emma pretended not to have seen.
Now, with Lee next door, she was leaving Emma’s house with another lie, yet another thing she was keeping from her friend.
‘Do you want to walk the canal with me?’ asked Emma, suddenly.
Jade opened her mouth, closed it again. Did she want to do the canal walk with her? Emma hadn’t asked her to join her on the daily vigil before. Jade had been glad; she couldn’t imagine walking by all those bodies of water, all the way to Media City and back. And what if today was the day when Jordan made an appearance, his body finally bloated to capacity with the gases that result from drowning and he popped back up to the surface, on his back, all Ophelia-like, white and waxen.
Emma went into the hallway and grabbed her coat off the peg. She seemed not to notice that Jade hadn’t answered her. ‘I have to go while it’s not raining. When it rains or sleets the visibility is… it’s hard to see,’ she said. Almost as an afterthought she smacked her hand against her forehead. ‘Sorry, sweetie, I didn’t think of Nia.’ She frowned. ‘Is she home alone?’
‘Yeah, so I have to get back,’ said Jade, relieved that she couldn’t go with Emma, hating herself a little for having a get-out clause. ‘I have to get back to her.’
Regret. She regretted not going, it was another thing, just one more thing stacked upon the hundreds of others that Emma would have done for her, without question, without even being asked. Just one more regrettable decision that made Jade feel as though she’d failed her friend.
‘Do you think I could contact the company that made the card?’ Emma mused, changing the subject with a speed that threw Jade for a moment. Emma’s eyes were far off as she absently star
ed at her phone. ‘I know who it is, it was written on the back. I could tell them what has happened, they’d have to be cold-hearted bastards to refuse me the details of whoever sent it.’
‘I don’t think they’d be able to tell you, data protection laws and all that,’ replied Jade. Struck with inspiration, she put her hand on Emma’s. ‘Would you like me to do it, I could contact them for you?’
Emma pulled away, slipped her phone into her bag. ‘No, silly idea. But thanks, love.’
Together they walked to the door. Jade pulled Emma into a hug. ‘Call me, if you need anything.’
With nothing else to be said, they left the house, Emma pulling the door closed behind her. At the end of the path they parted ways, Emma heading to the canal, Jade hesitating before letting herself back into her own home.
* * *
‘I didn’t tell her,’ Jade announced as she walked into her lounge. Lee sat on her sofa, his elbows on his knees, looking on edge and nervous.
‘Oh,’ he said, but he didn’t seem surprised.
‘I’m sorry, she was really upset this morning.’ Jade paused. ‘Did Nia wake up?’
He shook his head. Jade narrowed her eyes as she studied him. What had she been thinking, leaving her daughter alone with this man who was a stranger? Thoughts ticked across her mind. ‘Wait here,’ she said, and ran upstairs to check that Nia was indeed still sound asleep.
Returning to the lounge, Jade lowered herself into the chair opposite Lee and regarded him carefully. What did she know about this boy? How did she know what he said was the truth? What if he were not Jordan’s boyfriend at all, or even a friend? What if this young, seemingly nice man was a psycho, someone who had lusted after Jordan and had taken his revenge in the worst way when his feelings were not reciprocated?
‘How did you meet Jordan? How long had you been an item?’ she asked, trying to keep her tone neutral and friendly.
‘We met at a joint uni party. I was taking pictures, I wanted to take his. I’m a photographer, well, studying photography anyway, right? So, I chatted to him, we started to hang out and we’d been together a year last summer,’ replied Lee. ‘What happened with Jordan’s mum, why did you not tell her?’
In the silence that followed Lee’s question, a piercing ‘MUMMY!’ jolted Jade. She stood up.
‘You have to go now.’
Lee pushed himself up from his chair. ‘Can I come back?’
Decisions, always decisions that seemed to fall to her. Ones she didn’t feel qualified to make. She wished she could run to Nan, to Emma, to any adult who would tell her the right thing to do.
Martin.
His name flashed into her head suddenly, and inexplicably so. For he too was a suspect, at least in Emma’s eyes. But he was also Jordan’s father.
‘Come back tomorrow.’ She made a decision.
He nodded, looking forlorn, she thought, as he made his way to the door and slipped outside.
When he was gone, she went upstairs to fetch Nia and made her a breakfast of porridge and juice. As her little girl ate at the kitchen table, Jade settled herself back in her window seat to wait once more.
* * *
An hour later, Martin pulled up in his car outside Emma’s house. Emma, Jade knew, had already departed for the canal, and she hurried outside to wave him over.
‘Jade,’ he greeted as he unfolded his long, thin, tall body from his car. ‘I was just going to see—’
‘She’s not there,’ Jade interrupted him. ‘But I… there’s something I found out, and I don’t know what to do.’
With a last glance at Emma’s house, Martin dutifully followed Jade up her front path. She told him everything, in broken fragments in between trying to distract her young daughter, who watched Martin quietly, thumb in mouth. When she finished speaking Martin sat back in his chair.
‘So, he’s coming back, here, tomorrow?’
‘Yes.’
Martin scratched the back of his neck. ‘I’ll be here.’
Jade exhaled in relief, a breath that she didn’t realise she had been holding. ‘And you won’t tell Emma, not yet?’
He shook his head, stood up, clamped a heavy hand on Nia’s head. A gesture of affection, Jade realised, but one that showed he didn’t have experience of children.
She stood at the door and watched him leave. Folding himself back into his car he drove away without a backward glance.
‘What do you make of it?’ asked Paul. The evidence bag containing the card that told them Jordan was a father sat on the desk between them.
‘I believe that Emma didn’t know.’ Carrie locked eyes with Paul. ‘Bank accounts, have we got the records and statements of Jordan’s yet?’
Paul nodded. ‘Nothing, no payments to any people, nothing that would suggest child maintenance or upkeep. Nothing of any interest at all, to be honest.’
Carrie stood up. Shoving her hands in her pockets she walked around the small room. ‘There’s nothing of interest in anything to do with him. Even his bedroom was devoid of anything personal. We drew a blank at the university, at the bars on the quay. It’s like he quite literally doesn’t exist.’
‘Also…’ Paul hesitated before pressing on, ‘don’t you think it’s odd his body hasn’t surfaced yet? I mean, the others, they’ve been found within hours of going in, two days at the most.’
Carrie nodded thoughtfully. Paul was right, and it had occurred to her.
‘But he went into the water, right?’
Paul huffed out a deep breath. ‘Ye-es.’
‘But?’ Carrie prompted.
‘It’s the statements, those people who when pressed have admitted they heard a splash, rather than a conclusive sighting of him going in.’ Paul emphasised the last words, punching his fist on the pile of paperwork. When he glanced at Carrie next, she saw worry etched across his features. ‘This isn’t as clear-cut as the others. And this boy was so… private, or unknown, or introverted that we can’t get anything on him to help us.’
Carrie moved across the room to stand in front of him. ‘What does that tell us?’
She waited, hoping for inspiration or insight, something so obvious it had been hidden. Paul’s answer disappointed her.
‘That we’re lost in this one,’ he said. ‘That we’re as fucking lost as he is, Carrie.’
Twenty-Seven
DAY SEVEN
‘Were you Jordan’s first… boyfriend?’ Martin asked. To Jade it seemed like the word left a bad taste in Martin’s mouth.
Lee nodded without hesitation. ‘He was in denial for a long time, he didn’t think what we were doing was… right. I told him, “it’s fucking 2017, there’s nothing against us anymore.”’
To hear Lee swear, to hear the word coming from the angelic face and otherwise well-mannered young man, was strange for Jade.
‘But it wasn’t what other people thought, that wasn’t what he was worried about. It was like he was ashamed himself, disgusted, even,’ went on Lee.
‘But he came round eventually.’ Martin raised his eyebrows as he looked at Lee face on. ‘Or did he? Did you force him into something he wasn’t sure he wanted? Did you lose your temper, did you snap when he kept saying no to you?’
At Martin’s now rough tone Jade expected more tears. Instead, to her surprise, Lee laughed long and loud.
‘I can tell you didn’t know Jordan,’ Lee said. ‘Nobody forced him to do anything he didn’t want to.’ At these words he looked at Jade as if expecting her to agree with him. ‘Besides, have you seen the size of him compared to me? He was strong, he took care of himself.’ As Martin continued to glare, Lee’s laughter stopped abruptly, and he glared at Martin. ‘If anyone ever forced anything in this relationship, it wasn’t me. Look at me.’
Jade didn’t like the context of Lee’s words. Unwelcome visions swam in her mind, two naked, tanned bodies, writhing, one man more into it than the other one.
An awkward silence fell, and Martin turned his face to the window. ‘I do
n’t know the size of him, as you put it.’ Martin looked at both of them, a hard, cold stare. ‘I didn’t see him.’
Jade blinked, her mind off Lee for a moment. ‘When?’ she asked. ‘When didn’t you see him?’
Martin threw off her comment with an impatient sweep of his arm. ‘I mean I’ve never seen him, not in person, not a picture. I never met my son.’
Jade stared at him, knew he had been round to Emma’s house, knew there was a framed photo on her mantelpiece. She closed her eyes, remembering. The police had taken that photograph away.
‘Would you like to see some of my work, my photos of him, I mean?’ Lee’s normal voice was back; hesitant, halting, yet helpful.
Martin paused. With a glance at Jade he looked back to Lee.
‘Yes,’ he said.
* * *
‘These are for my studies, a collection that goes towards my grades,’ Lee told Jade and Martin. ‘Jordan was my muse, he was so photogenic. Look at those cheekbones, those eyes…’
They watched in silence. Jade was struck by Jordan’s face, open in these pictures in a way she had never seen. She glanced at Martin, wondered what he was feeling at the sight of the son he had never known.
‘I think Emma will want to see these,’ Martin said once the show was over and they had moved from the kitchen into the living room. He looked at Jade, a silent question.
Jade knew Emma would drink up the photos of her boy, who looked like a different person in the photographs Lee had taken. Jade couldn’t believe the shots were of him, of the same boy who had hardly ever shown a shred of emotion.
Emma would want to see these. Which meant they would have to tell her what Lee was to Jordan, or who he claimed to be. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at Lee and the spell he seemed to have cast over Martin. Martin, the stranger who was suddenly in the middle of Emma’s life seemed to have been won over by Lee. But did that mean they had all been won over by Martin? Was this part of Martin’s plan, to get so in the middle of Emma’s life that the last person to suspect would be him? Fear fluttered inside Jade, a feeling of being unqualified to have both of these men in her home. She reached for her phone.
